Good-Bye
*reposted from Jan 1, 2006 because there really isn't much else to say about these sorts of days in our family life.

Have you ever thought much about that word? Growing up as a missionary kid I became very familiar with cyclical goodbyes. Goodbye to friends in OR to go overseas. Goodbye to that country to come stateside. Goodbye to parents to go to school. Goodbye to school friends to spend the summer at home….I quickly learned that many of the things people say about “goodbyes” are plain silly!

“Goodbye doesn’t mean forever” – oh really? I have plenty of dear friends who I said goodbye to 24 years ago, that I’ve never seen again.

“Friends Forever” – hmmm.

“Don’t think of it as goodbye; think of all the hellos you get to say”.

OK now…but how does that help the pain of leaving the current friends? The goodbyes are not any less real for thinking of the hellos. If you want to be completely cynical about it, every hello is simply a goodbye waiting to happen.

MK’s learn at a young age to get good at saying goodbye. Don’t think about the parting, smile; don’t cry….life goes on. You’ll make new friends.

Then Mike entered the military. Spouses are told at deployment briefings, “Smile, when your spouse leaves. The worst thing you can do is let your spouse see you crying as he goes into battle, he needs to know that you are strong and can handle things.” I’ve noticed, however, that many, many men/women do not LOOK back when they are leaving…maybe they are told to look straight ahead as the “worst thing they can do is let their spouse see them crying as they go into battle?”

I’ve gotten good at stoically saying goodbye. This was brought home to me by Corinna last summer. She drove the kids and me to the airport when we left AK. She later wrote to me that we were so “strong” she and I. Both Third Culture Kids…we said goodbye, no tears, and quick hugs and quickly walked away…never looking back.

I got good at it…until last September when the girls left for WA. Who would have guessed how hard it would hit this expert farewell taker to say goodbye to two girls? I’d been told for months “at least you have a houseful to keep you busy” and had come to think that the children at home would insulate me from the pain that mothers most often experience when children leave home.

It didn’t.

Those who know me will guess this is coming…I did a word study on this one. Good means beneficial. Bye means leave taking. I stated last week that it seemed that many of my goodbyes haven’t fit the definition…but this goodbye does. It IS beneficial. It has been a JOY to see how the girls have embraced God’s call for their lives. It has been a blast to see how they have grown and matured and flown strong these past few months. It has been beneficial. It has proven that our lifestyle of parenting…releasing them when they were strong was valid for our family. They were ready to soar. They were not social misfits who wouldn’t fit out in “the real world”. They have had no trouble learning to interact with new authority figures.

And so we prepare to say goodbye once more at 0 dark thirty. This time for eight months. We entrust them to God’s care as they return to Master’s Commission. We eagerly look forward to seeing the growth and work that will occur in their lives in the next eight months.

There is a quote that has spoken volumes to me for years. Elizabeth Stone says, “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body”. It has never spoken as loudly to me as it has since September of 2005. Even with a houseful of children, parts of my heart are walking around WA. Think of it though: parts of my heart are touching the hearts of others for His glory! This is beneficial…good even.

And so the time has come. Back to feeling that things are not quite “right”; though they are perfectly right. Back to counting heads 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8, 9 in WA. Yes, Donna, you were right. I survived the goodbyes this fall and then they came home, and now they’ll leave again and as you warned me it will hurt all over again…but the hurt is good. The season is good. The day the girls left in September I seemed to be surrounded with 50 year old ladies and their 80 year old moms. I was feeling bad about all the duos and felt God speak to me that it is about seasons. We’ll be together again in the same house…and this time THEY’LL get to be the care provider. {Grin} This goodbye really isn’t forever. This time we really are forever friends. It is a beneficial leave taking.

And now the time has come to say – Goodbye!

Travel Update

The website still shows delays and cancellations in the panhandle and Denver....BUT I called the station in the panhandle and they said buses will be going through starting tomorrow afternoon....so the girls will leave here at noon. Please be praying that the buses are not overloaded and that they can get right through to WA. Thanks.

Cindy, they are in MT for only 45 minutes and I believe they arrive at 1 a.m. LOL

Family Fun

Bre Hugs Josiah

Stacia gets jealous and runs across the room to hug Arielle

Krista initiates a group hug...Stacia joins them simultaneously trying to climb into Jared's lap and push Bre away....Jared comments the ladies are all fighting for him....::snort:::

You know you're a large family when...

*I had fun with this while waiting for the children to come out of Hollywood with some videos for tonight. Always TOUGH to pick movies that will span the interests of 1 - 21. LOL


You know you're a large family when.....

Your spare room is turned into a pantry.

Your pantry rivals the shelves of a convenience store.

You can play baseball or basketball as a family.

Family movie night consists of a cartoon, a chick flick, and a war documentary.

It takes 4 "family size" packs of an entree to make 1 side dish for dinner (i.e. jello, scalloped potatoes, macaroni and cheese).

The line outside your bathroom rivals the gas lines of the early 1980's.

Visiting friends ask you how many people you are having to dinner while you cook a quick family meal.

Your dishwasher and washing machine never stop running.

Appliances and utensils with "life-time warranty" consistently last 2 - 5 years in your household.

Every family outing qualifies for a group discount rate.

People routinely count aloud as you walk past, and you consider this a normal occurrence.

Restaurants add a 15% gratuity to your dinner.

You need two family size meat entrees for one dinner.

You consider a mini van to be a "sports car".

Game evening consists of dino bingo, RISK and charades.

Very few people question your home school children's need for socialization.

Only one of your children have ever had their own bedrooms...and they were too young to remember.

You have over 100 pairs of socks in your home.

Shopping for new clothes signifies digging in the storage boxes for the next size.

You always buy "classics" and never "fads" so they'll be in style when the 1 year old needs them - 20 years from now.

Your youth will NOT go on the every 6 month underwear shopping trip...claiming all stare when you pull up to the check stand with two carts of socks and undies.

People routinely question your knowledge of elementary biology.

Bragging on My Boys (::clearing throat:: - tried to SPELL that ) YOUNG MEN!

Josiah came home last night with the news  he's been asked to be a team leader/manager! I immediately asked if this means I could have unlimited Oreo Cookie Chick Fil A shakes - guess not. He'll begin training Monday. There is some "thought" about his age....but the boss says he knows of ONE other 17 yo who was made a manager - himself. He'll be a good resource for Cy. He's already warned him that the 20 year old guys who've worked there for 3 - 4 years are sure to be upset for a few weeks. We're proud of Josiah. I'll snap a picture of him in the new uniform, when he gets it. Evidently, this was run by the other managers and they all thought it was a good idea to give him the position regardless of age. Go Cy.

Jamin decided he was not finished with his book. He has 30 pages left to edit. We decided we'd waited LONG ENOUGH to read this book. I took it to Office Depot and had them print and bind it. We were all taken aback at how THICK it is. We are going to start reading it. Krista is taking a copy with her on the bus. She is reading for plot and action and such. I am reading and trying to remind myself to look for comma rules, spelling, and such. Becky, if the offer holds we'd like to send you a copy by the end of this week. Mike, you too. He wants the 30 pages finished before he sends you both a copy.

When he's had several read it and comment....he'll be ready to take the next step. While we all read it, I think I will not allow him to work on it. FOUR years - I think he needs a breather....maybe. He thinks he could start in on book 2. I think he could use this time to surf writer blogs, websites etc and get some idea about the next step. It's been suggested he go to the Christian Writer's Guild conference in Colorado Springs. That would allow him face to face interviews with several publishers. We simply aren't sure it's a book for the Christian market. We haven't READ it...but we know that he says he doesn't "preach" in it. Of course, his world view will shine through - I hope. LOL

Holding it strange to cover his last name

Apron a gift from Bre, check out the size of that manuscript