An Accomplishment, A Funny and A Busy Afternoon

 

LOOK AT THAT!!!! Physical Science is a course Melia was taking at Chugiak. We enrolled her in Acellus Academy. We couldn't enroll her for 1/2 a course, so she did the ENTIRE course and finished it! Look at that grade - an A!!!!! She is on track to finish the remaining 3 courses she had started at Chugiak by the end of March.  Our plan is to then take the 2nd half of the courses she took her freshman year.  She is getting it done and we couldn't be more impressed with her! 

Word about Mountain Meadows, Dad's home, is getting out and they have had many new residents move in. Dad called and could barely suppress his humor. One of the new gentlemen evidently wanders. As he was getting his pills at bedtime one of the employees mentioned he should close his door. She said she doesn't think the mister would take anything but he has been wandering. Dad laughed out loud. The gentlemen had come in while Dad was laying down, looked around and left with Dad's walker. He told the employee he just let him leave and figured he'd get his walker in the morning as he was already in bed. They went and retrieved it for him.  I told Dad sometimes as we age our minds get a bit confused. ::snort:: 

I got a message mid-day that Arielle was in bad shape, and I'll spare you TMI.  Benny (8) was valiantly doing all he could to help. I headed over after nap time. We did dishes, played Castle Keep, read Narnia and I fed them dinner. I stayed until Cory came home. 

While it was too cold to play outside today (negative temps), their garage is outfitted for kids. We spent a good 20 minutes burning off energy in the garage. 

Benny

Jumping and Dancing

Ellie on the balance board

Wrestling!

Michael took Melia to a sibling game night at Nolan's and called to ask what I'd like him to order at a favorite restaurant of ours. We met in town, enjoyed a quiet dinner and visit....and that salmon is STILL in the fridge. 

Navigating Guardianship

Melia is doing so well with school!!!! She is on schedule to finish her 10th grade classes by the end of March. We plan to add in the 9th grade classes she missed at that point and get caught up! 

The big event today centered around my interactions with the Department of Public Assistance. It was our understanding when Melia's father signed over guardianship of her that her Denali KidCare was in effect until March 31st and that a renewal form would be filled out to continue KidCare until she was 18.  We all assumed it was a given. ::snort:: 

I confidently began to schedule care: dentist, oral surgery to correct a tongue tie, looking to braces, new patient with a doctor out here and I finally tracked down a counselor/therapy clinic that will take KidCare.  We felt good about the care plan we had initiated. All the offices took our paperwork for authorizing care.  Then in the middle of the week, one by one, each place called back to say Melia was "ineligible for care" with KidCare (Medicaid). WHAT? She's supposed to be covered through March.  I emailed the notarized guardian paperwork to the Department of Public Assistance (DPA) so they could talk to me about what was going on. I was told to give it 2 - 5 days to process and then call back. That DPA line is NOT for the faint of heart!!!!! I could give them suggestions on hold music...

I called back again today; they had the paperwork and were happy to talk with me.  Bottom line - she's been removed from the program.  They said I need to begin a new application for her, and it is to be based on "the total income of the household where she RESIDES."   She resides with us. There are no plans for her to reside with her father. Our income is above the income level to qualify for KidCare. Please understand we HAVE explored simply adding her to Tricare and paying the copays ourselves. We cannot add her to DEERS with a voluntary guardianship arrangement.  I asked the kind man at DPA, "Who can help me get her insured as both private insurance and public assistance are telling me she falls through the cracks of who they insure?" He suggested I contact our family lawyer. 

 I called the family lawyer. The receptionist asked some questions and said yes, they can help us. I knew it was unlikely I'd get answers over the phone. We have a consult with him on Friday - $257.  It's o.k. Melia has some questions she wants answered and we have some questions we need answered too...always good to have a lawyer on board. I suspect we are going to need to legally codify the agreement between us and her father. 

Melia decided to make banana bread. We have been perfecting a whole wheat, sugar free recipe. I think she has it this time. Melia is my personal baker. LOL 

Melia talked to her sisters. Michael and I watched a podcast we need to view for our life group - spicey marriage questions that quite honestly were NOTHING like the spice I've fielded on PWOC panels on the same topics. ::snort:: 

The three of us then discussed the need to postpone medical care until the lawyer wades in as well as her and our views of what the future looks like (You know Lord willing and if the creek don't rise). We are committed to love her, provide a safe home for her, parent her, nurture her, catch her up in school, and keep contact with her family of origin. Our commitment to her well-being doesn't stop when she is 18. We are here to be whatever she wants us to be throughout her life.  We have committed to her. We can take this a step at a time as it unfolds.  We are not going to think this is all too much trouble and kick her out. We WILL figure out the insurance. If she really needs care before we have things in place for private insurance or before she's back on KidCare we WILL pay it out of pocket. The appointments I had made were up in the thousands of dollars - so if we CAN get insurance on board before proceeding that is the best financial option.  She knows we are only looking out for HER best. It seems like this should be so simple...minor needs safe haven, we provide it, society supports that endeavor, everyone wins. 

 By the time we had thoroughly discussed these things the three of us no longer wanted a salmon dinner.  

Date with Dad

I have been trying to get a time to take Dad to pick up his new glasses. We were set to do it on Thursday of last week. When I called Dad, on Thursday morning, he had made a "date" to go to the Senior Center with another resident. I told him to save MONDAY for me. I told him not to eat lunch. He called me 1/2 an hour before lunch to be sure I was going to pick him up. 

We set out to pick up Dad's new glasses and ended up at Raising Caine - the closest thing to Chick Fil A Alaska has to offer. 

This is Melia's favorite place to eat. Dad said to tell her she has good taste. Melia opted to stay at home today and get a good start to her school week. She began the day with a Japanese lesson with Ms. Kim. 

In the parenting realm, we are learning to navigate things which never existed when our oldest were children. There was no internet at that point. We were one of the first homes in our town to have internet - and many Christians thought we were going straight to hell for signing up.  We had strict guidelines in those early days. We've let up quite a bit over the decades of schooling and parenting. 

 New sites entered our home with a new 16 yo. We knew our principles. We knew our older kids (currently 20 - 41) didn't have social media until they were seniors. We decided to evaluate our standards and to check with younger parents we admired. Where we were wondering which parental controls, we should look into for say Snap Chat, they all said it's a "Hard no!" It was interesting to me that 30 and 40's who HAD all these sites say they don't want it for their kids.  

We set down with Melia and asked which sites she had created. We explained she DOESN'T REALLY know these "boys" who are leaving comments that are NOT respectful. She is worth so much more than these schmucks realize or communicate. They shouldn't have a voice in defining her self-worth or self-esteem. We were proud she told us the truth about which sites she's created, and we discussed truth and trust in our little family unit. It was a good conversation; we agreed Snap Chat is going away. We aren't sure about Tik Tok.  She's never had a phone. We are discussing what controls we'd need to see on a phone before we agree to purchase one.  To be clear these are not punitive measures, we simply want to know she knows how to safely use these things.  These things seemed easier to navigate in the 80's and 90's.  The principle remains the same - we want our children's self-worth and identity to be built on who GOD says they are not on what social influencers or shmucks on the "internet" say about them. 

We planned a salmon dinner. Monday nights are usually Stacia's night to have dinner with us. Her life intervened and she didn't make it home until late. The three of us at home decided we'd rather go with a YOYO (you're on your own - leftovers) than eat the salmon. 

We are watching The Chosen from in the evenings. Our hope is to use it as a springboard into discussions leading to a full picture of Jesus and steps toward Biblical literacy. 

Grand Baptism Sunday

I am going to borrow Bre's words for this post. Michael, Stacia, Melia, Jared and I went to Bre's church to celebrate the baptism of four of her children! 

"One of the best perks of parenting is having a front row seat to seeds of faith taking root and starting to grow in your children. Today, four of our children were baptized! It was especially meaningful for Izaak and my Dad (Michael) to be the ones baptizing. Thank you, Jesus for Your work of grace in our children's lives! (Also thank you to our pastor and church for facilitating their baptisms.)"

Annie

Gideon

Bella

Josiah

What a heartwarming morning we had! We are once again in awe of the fact that we get to live so near our grands. 

After church we went out with Bre's family and the F family! So much fun to share around the table at Sunrise Cafe. LOL 

A special thank you to Danny for grabbing these photos from the platform - so much better than the ones I took from the front row. LOL 

Fun Weekend

Michael and I spent much of the week preparing for a parenting workshop we were to facilitate. Melia worked hard to get school done early on Friday. 

We made plans for Melia to spend Friday night with her sisters and their new family, while we spent the night in Eagle River. 

The event has been postponed, but there was NO WAY we were going to change Melia and her sister's plans. We decided to take her into Anchorage and Michael, and I would have a mini getaway. The more we looked at the motel, the more we decided we'd rather drive home and sleep it comfort at home. 

Hot date @ Costco

We dropped Melia off and we headed out for our date weekend. This ended up consisting of dinner out, a trip to Costco, a drive through a winter white out back to the valley, and then a drive in the next day for a trip to a museum, a quick run through another Costco, and finally we picked up Melia and her sisters and met Ramie, a previous neighbor, at Denny's where we treated everyone to dinner and got to know Ramie.

Melia and her sisters went to Tastee Freeze, the mall, watched some k pop, and went roller skating. Stacia ended up spending the night in Eagle River due to driving conditions. We all had an enjoyable weekend and were happy to be back together Saturday night. 

We talked and began watching The Chosen from season 1. 

Finally, Friday!

 I left the house for Country Cuts before anyone else was up. ::snort::  I came home, encouraged Melia in her coursework, blogged for a bit and then we ran out of the house...back to Country Cuts for Melia to get a haircut. Mandy took off Melia's split ends and gave her a few layers. I cannot believe I didn't take a single picture. Melia laughed and said she was surprised I didn't take any pictures. 

We spend a couple of hours every Friday afternoon with CoRielle's kids. We began today with a "tea party" though the kids have begun calling them "chocolate parties."  I pulled out the cute little plastic mugs Aunt CoCo sent from Japan and reminded them of the fact that she sent these cute mugs for our tea parties. We had a healthy snack along with their hot chocolate. 

We have been playing Outfoxed but it is warming up! We decided to go outside and enjoy the nice weather. Goodness. It took a full 30 minutes to get ourselves and the kids dressed and ready to head out. Benny and Danny take care of themselves - Charles and Ellie took a bit of stuffing into various snowsuits etc. 

I had just gotten Charles set up with the snow shovel when I realized what his brothers were doing. I DID see them jump off the deck out of the corner of my eye. 

The snow IS pretty high up and the drop isn't THAT big, but I did warn them about the potential of getting hurt. They BOTH informed me in unison, "We are MEN!" I told them to make sure there was no ice in the space they were jumping, or they would be men in pain. LOL 

Benny jumping

Danny is actually jumping....

I was so worried about these two that it was a bit of a shock to look up and see Charles was licking various surfaces...a quick look confirmed we have nothing metal in the vicinity. I was NOT up to pulling a frozen tongue off the chain link fencing today. My word - he is licking the railing in the photo. ::snort:: 

Benny tried some shoveling

Danny

Charles wanted to go inside about 5 minutes after I finally made it outside. I told him we were staying out at least 30 minutes and set an alarm. 😂 It take a village to make sure Ellie is safe AND having fun. 

Ellie's Village

Danny and Benny found ye old weed patch to be a fun winter hill. 

Melia and I discussed how we could pack down the snow for a cross-country trail around the yard. This didn't work well at all.  Any ideas? 

Melia, Ellie and Benny

Melia and Ellie 

My winter garden

I have decided to give these four kids one of my garden beds this summer. They are coming over weekly and so it will be "easy" for them to maintain it. I'm pretty excited at yet another ploy to engage the grands in the garden. LOL

Melia chatted with her sisters while I got dinner ready. Michael is prepping a sermon. Stacia has 7 or 8 friends over for a game night. Melia is finishing up a project for her room; I am blogging and then plan to read. 

A very relaxing start to the weekend. 

We Are Sad - but so GRATEFUL

Yes, we have been very busy...something outside of the home every day last week and this week.... but mostly, I think I've been silent because I'm processing. I tend to go quiet.

I miss Josiah - a lot. 

Is it because Krista and Allie went back home or Jamin moved? Maybe. 

Josi & Noah waiting for the party to start 📷by Larissa

I think it's more. February is BIRTHDAY month in our family. We have birthdays on the 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, 14th (anniversaries) and 20th. Josiah's birthday was Feb 9th....and both Josi and Liv have birthdays this month.  We loved attending Josi and Noah's birthday party last week...and yet emotions struck us harder than we expected. I could SEE Josiah with his arm around Liv giving her advice and direction. Except he isn't here any longer. As Josi and Noah reacted to their cakes and parents hovered around...I could SEE how much fun Josiah would be having celebrating his daughter's 2nd birthday, but he never met his daughter. His laughter rang in my memory, but I missed hearing it THAT night.  I remembered how excited he was to raise the girls with their cousins - specifically Josi with Noah and the baby girl Arielle was expecting...It is great joy to see all the cousins. 

This is also the week a year ago where we watched jury selection, heard evidence presented, heard details of Josiah's last minutes, saw pictures of a crime scene, saw autopsy photos and then heard a jury return an amazing verdict of guilty on all counts. 

The heart remembers even when the mind is busy with other pursuits.  

Year's past, as we'd stepped back from all our activities, we were able to sit in the emotions. Now, we feel the emotions, and we are looking for space to express them, but we are more involved in the activities of life. This is what activity has been like for most of our family the last few years... I am thankful we are stronger this year and are able to "carry on" with the emotions just under the surface (leaking out our eyes occasionally) ...I am also aware of needing to find space for a bit more of grief to be expressed. 

Monday Melia and I watched Josi while Carrie went to work. We visited with Livie after school. Michael came over to fix a stair railing for Carrie. He was using Josiah's tools to fix a railing in Josiah's house that Josiah would have taken care of if he'd been around...and it was hard, sad, and yet joyous to be able to support Carrie in a practical way.  It's all mixed up in our hearts. 

He went on to FORGED - a monthly men's meeting. He sat alone in the back and struggled with his emotions. He, like me, is also missing Josiah so very much.  One of the young men, Tyler, turned around and talked to Michael. He had been Josiah and Carrie's neighbor but has since moved. We met him while fixing a joint fence and carrying things in and out of the house as Carrie organized things in those early days of loss.  He recognized Michael. Later they were to break into groups to share and pray for one another. Michael shared he was having a hard time just missing Josiah that evening.  Tyler said he'd been wanting to share this with Carrie and us. The first time he attended ACF was for Josiah's celebration of life. He and his wife, Carissa, began attending ACF. They got saved. They made some big changes, and he names Josiah's life and death as the cause of him stepping into church that first time. That's worth celebrating!!!!  Josiah would be so very honored and excited to hear this...as are we. 

Isn't that great that Michael "happened" to be sitting behind Tyler and "happened" to be having a hard day which prompted Tyler to share not just his memory of Josiah (which he's done in the past) but his salvation story?

God is good - even when life is very hard.  He is so gracious, merciful and kind to gift us with a story of how Josiah's life impacted another and will have continued legacy when we are missing him so very much. 

Having shared the above, I'll be able to share about all the events of this week and not have to write every time "we were sad while being happy", or just share the happy and feel like I'm not being "real and authentic" because you'll understand that evidently, the first couple weeks of February have the possibility of being grief awakening weeks...at least this year.