Date with Dad

I have been trying to get a time to take Dad to pick up his new glasses. We were set to do it on Thursday of last week. When I called Dad, on Thursday morning, he had made a "date" to go to the Senior Center with another resident. I told him to save MONDAY for me. I told him not to eat lunch. He called me 1/2 an hour before lunch to be sure I was going to pick him up. 

We set out to pick up Dad's new glasses and ended up at Raising Caine - the closest thing to Chick Fil A Alaska has to offer. 

This is Melia's favorite place to eat. Dad said to tell her she has good taste. Melia opted to stay at home today and get a good start to her school week. She began the day with a Japanese lesson with Ms. Kim. 

In the parenting realm, we are learning to navigate things which never existed when our oldest were children. There was no internet at that point. We were one of the first homes in our town to have internet - and many Christians thought we were going straight to hell for signing up.  We had strict guidelines in those early days. We've let up quite a bit over the decades of schooling and parenting. 

 New sites entered our home with a new 16 yo. We knew our principles. We knew our older kids (currently 20 - 41) didn't have social media until they were seniors. We decided to evaluate our standards and to check with younger parents we admired. Where we were wondering which parental controls, we should look into for say Snap Chat, they all said it's a "Hard no!" It was interesting to me that 30 and 40's who HAD all these sites say they don't want it for their kids.  

We set down with Melia and asked which sites she had created. We explained she DOESN'T REALLY know these "boys" who are leaving comments that are NOT respectful. She is worth so much more than these schmucks realize or communicate. They shouldn't have a voice in defining her self-worth or self-esteem. We were proud she told us the truth about which sites she's created, and we discussed truth and trust in our little family unit. It was a good conversation; we agreed Snap Chat is going away. We aren't sure about Tik Tok.  She's never had a phone. We are discussing what controls we'd need to see on a phone before we agree to purchase one.  To be clear these are not punitive measures, we simply want to know she knows how to safely use these things.  These things seemed easier to navigate in the 80's and 90's.  The principle remains the same - we want our children's self-worth and identity to be built on who GOD says they are not on what social influencers or shmucks on the "internet" say about them. 

We planned a salmon dinner. Monday nights are usually Stacia's night to have dinner with us. Her life intervened and she didn't make it home until late. The three of us at home decided we'd rather go with a YOYO (you're on your own - leftovers) than eat the salmon. 

We are watching The Chosen from in the evenings. Our hope is to use it as a springboard into discussions leading to a full picture of Jesus and steps toward Biblical literacy. 

Grand Baptism Sunday

I am going to borrow Bre's words for this post. Michael, Stacia, Melia, Jared and I went to Bre's church to celebrate the baptism of four of her children! 

"One of the best perks of parenting is having a front row seat to seeds of faith taking root and starting to grow in your children. Today, four of our children were baptized! It was especially meaningful for Izaak and my Dad (Michael) to be the ones baptizing. Thank you, Jesus for Your work of grace in our children's lives! (Also thank you to our pastor and church for facilitating their baptisms.)"

Annie

Gideon

Bella

Josiah

What a heartwarming morning we had! We are once again in awe of the fact that we get to live so near our grands. 

After church we went out with Bre's family and the F family! So much fun to share around the table at Sunrise Cafe. LOL 

A special thank you to Danny for grabbing these photos from the platform - so much better than the ones I took from the front row. LOL 

Fun Weekend

Michael and I spent much of the week preparing for a parenting workshop we were to facilitate. Melia worked hard to get school done early on Friday. 

We made plans for Melia to spend Friday night with her sisters and their new family, while we spent the night in Eagle River. 

The event has been postponed, but there was NO WAY we were going to change Melia and her sister's plans. We decided to take her into Anchorage and Michael, and I would have a mini getaway. The more we looked at the motel, the more we decided we'd rather drive home and sleep it comfort at home. 

Hot date @ Costco

We dropped Melia off and we headed out for our date weekend. This ended up consisting of dinner out, a trip to Costco, a drive through a winter white out back to the valley, and then a drive in the next day for a trip to a museum, a quick run through another Costco, and finally we picked up Melia and her sisters and met Ramie, a previous neighbor, at Denny's where we treated everyone to dinner and got to know Ramie.

Melia and her sisters went to Tastee Freeze, the mall, watched some k pop, and went roller skating. Stacia ended up spending the night in Eagle River due to driving conditions. We all had an enjoyable weekend and were happy to be back together Saturday night. 

We talked and began watching The Chosen from season 1. 

Finally, Friday!

 I left the house for Country Cuts before anyone else was up. ::snort::  I came home, encouraged Melia in her coursework, blogged for a bit and then we ran out of the house...back to Country Cuts for Melia to get a haircut. Mandy took off Melia's split ends and gave her a few layers. I cannot believe I didn't take a single picture. Melia laughed and said she was surprised I didn't take any pictures. 

We spend a couple of hours every Friday afternoon with CoRielle's kids. We began today with a "tea party" though the kids have begun calling them "chocolate parties."  I pulled out the cute little plastic mugs Aunt CoCo sent from Japan and reminded them of the fact that she sent these cute mugs for our tea parties. We had a healthy snack along with their hot chocolate. 

We have been playing Outfoxed but it is warming up! We decided to go outside and enjoy the nice weather. Goodness. It took a full 30 minutes to get ourselves and the kids dressed and ready to head out. Benny and Danny take care of themselves - Charles and Ellie took a bit of stuffing into various snowsuits etc. 

I had just gotten Charles set up with the snow shovel when I realized what his brothers were doing. I DID see them jump off the deck out of the corner of my eye. 

The snow IS pretty high up and the drop isn't THAT big, but I did warn them about the potential of getting hurt. They BOTH informed me in unison, "We are MEN!" I told them to make sure there was no ice in the space they were jumping, or they would be men in pain. LOL 

Benny jumping

Danny is actually jumping....

I was so worried about these two that it was a bit of a shock to look up and see Charles was licking various surfaces...a quick look confirmed we have nothing metal in the vicinity. I was NOT up to pulling a frozen tongue off the chain link fencing today. My word - he is licking the railing in the photo. ::snort:: 

Benny tried some shoveling

Danny

Charles wanted to go inside about 5 minutes after I finally made it outside. I told him we were staying out at least 30 minutes and set an alarm. 😂 It take a village to make sure Ellie is safe AND having fun. 

Ellie's Village

Danny and Benny found ye old weed patch to be a fun winter hill. 

Melia and I discussed how we could pack down the snow for a cross-country trail around the yard. This didn't work well at all.  Any ideas? 

Melia, Ellie and Benny

Melia and Ellie 

My winter garden

I have decided to give these four kids one of my garden beds this summer. They are coming over weekly and so it will be "easy" for them to maintain it. I'm pretty excited at yet another ploy to engage the grands in the garden. LOL

Melia chatted with her sisters while I got dinner ready. Michael is prepping a sermon. Stacia has 7 or 8 friends over for a game night. Melia is finishing up a project for her room; I am blogging and then plan to read. 

A very relaxing start to the weekend. 

We Are Sad - but so GRATEFUL

Yes, we have been very busy...something outside of the home every day last week and this week.... but mostly, I think I've been silent because I'm processing. I tend to go quiet.

I miss Josiah - a lot. 

Is it because Krista and Allie went back home or Jamin moved? Maybe. 

Josi & Noah waiting for the party to start 📷by Larissa

I think it's more. February is BIRTHDAY month in our family. We have birthdays on the 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, 14th (anniversaries) and 20th. Josiah's birthday was Feb 9th....and both Josi and Liv have birthdays this month.  We loved attending Josi and Noah's birthday party last week...and yet emotions struck us harder than we expected. I could SEE Josiah with his arm around Liv giving her advice and direction. Except he isn't here any longer. As Josi and Noah reacted to their cakes and parents hovered around...I could SEE how much fun Josiah would be having celebrating his daughter's 2nd birthday, but he never met his daughter. His laughter rang in my memory, but I missed hearing it THAT night.  I remembered how excited he was to raise the girls with their cousins - specifically Josi with Noah and the baby girl Arielle was expecting...It is great joy to see all the cousins. 

This is also the week a year ago where we watched jury selection, heard evidence presented, heard details of Josiah's last minutes, saw pictures of a crime scene, saw autopsy photos and then heard a jury return an amazing verdict of guilty on all counts. 

The heart remembers even when the mind is busy with other pursuits.  

Year's past, as we'd stepped back from all our activities, we were able to sit in the emotions. Now, we feel the emotions, and we are looking for space to express them, but we are more involved in the activities of life. This is what activity has been like for most of our family the last few years... I am thankful we are stronger this year and are able to "carry on" with the emotions just under the surface (leaking out our eyes occasionally) ...I am also aware of needing to find space for a bit more of grief to be expressed. 

Monday Melia and I watched Josi while Carrie went to work. We visited with Livie after school. Michael came over to fix a stair railing for Carrie. He was using Josiah's tools to fix a railing in Josiah's house that Josiah would have taken care of if he'd been around...and it was hard, sad, and yet joyous to be able to support Carrie in a practical way.  It's all mixed up in our hearts. 

He went on to FORGED - a monthly men's meeting. He sat alone in the back and struggled with his emotions. He, like me, is also missing Josiah so very much.  One of the young men, Tyler, turned around and talked to Michael. He had been Josiah and Carrie's neighbor but has since moved. We met him while fixing a joint fence and carrying things in and out of the house as Carrie organized things in those early days of loss.  He recognized Michael. Later they were to break into groups to share and pray for one another. Michael shared he was having a hard time just missing Josiah that evening.  Tyler said he'd been wanting to share this with Carrie and us. The first time he attended ACF was for Josiah's celebration of life. He and his wife, Carissa, began attending ACF. They got saved. They made some big changes, and he names Josiah's life and death as the cause of him stepping into church that first time. That's worth celebrating!!!!  Josiah would be so very honored and excited to hear this...as are we. 

Isn't that great that Michael "happened" to be sitting behind Tyler and "happened" to be having a hard day which prompted Tyler to share not just his memory of Josiah (which he's done in the past) but his salvation story?

God is good - even when life is very hard.  He is so gracious, merciful and kind to gift us with a story of how Josiah's life impacted another and will have continued legacy when we are missing him so very much. 

Having shared the above, I'll be able to share about all the events of this week and not have to write every time "we were sad while being happy", or just share the happy and feel like I'm not being "real and authentic" because you'll understand that evidently, the first couple weeks of February have the possibility of being grief awakening weeks...at least this year.

 

Random January Tidbits

 I KNOW I had great plans of blogging while Melia did school. Life got busy and I found myself sitting nearby while Melia schools but working on our bills, Dad's re-application for the Medicaid waiver, cleaning, Dad's bills...

I am working diligently to finish capturing January before March arrives.  Here are all the wonderful glimpses I might have blogged if I was blogging daily. They are just too good to go totally unnoticed. 

Random glimpses and tidbits from January....Noah is learning to ski (so is Melia). 

Noah - 3 yo (nearly)

Attitude! I love it! 

Meanwhile Luke has been finding sharks and such on his deep dives. I can't imagine! 

Krista continues to build monster "Lego" mouses. 

You will see various shots of Carrie and the girls throughout the month. They chose to abscond to warmer areas...FL and then a cruise - they were traveling from Dec - Jan 20th.  I have realized this is the first year in 3 or 4 that January include a trip to visit Sister Friends in OR. I miss breaking up the winter and will need to check into that next year. 

Josi flying like a pro

Melia has brought Korean dramas to our home. It's really pretty fun to sit with popcorn on a winter afternoon and try to read the English subtitles before they move on.  I wonder if we can find some Japanese dramas to watch...that will help us both with our Japanese and could be considered school. 

Luke on the bottom of the bay again

Allie's favorite spot when she's home. 

We miss you sweet girl! 

Liv's favorite on board hang out! 

THIS was a welcome sight! I lost my wallet...and there it was in the driveway! 

While Allie was home we made a stop at our local Emergency Room. Peace of Mind is PRICELESS, and we don't regret it one bit. It did re-surface memories of another visit. 

Meanwhile - off ship - we enjoy winter. 

Such a big personality - Josi - nearly 2 

Jared - our favorite Anchorage Assemblyman

It's sunset season - soon the sun won't be setting at decent hours. 

Josi's first dentist visit

I have gotten so many phone calls from Noah that I have entered Jared's office phone number as "Noah's work phone." Jared says he walks in, goes immediately to the phone and calls Bachan. 

Bachan's phone buddy! 

Allie & Ashton

Jamin (the realtor and not Jared the assemblyman) has arrived in Florida. He has set up a new apartment and office.  It is pure joy to see him happy in the sun! We miss him. 

This tropically raised girl misses the ocean, too! 

January held visits from adult Gherkins, Melia moving in, Jamin moving away...lots of planned events and a few unplanned. It was a great month.