Today we went to the park.
I got royally cussed out by a fellow mother. Their group had obviously spent the beautiful day at the lake drinking. They were not watching their children.
Their children were very mean and rude to Stacia.
I asked them to please let her play. They kept it up. They would yell at Stacia, push her etc whenever she tried to enter the play area. I got up to play with them. I said to them - and this is REALLY what I said, "The play ground is for everyone to play. Don't be rude, let's play nicely. What's your name...." and went on to introduce them to each other. I then played on the slides etc with all the kids for about 10 minutes. They were having fun!
The older kids decided they wanted to go back to mom....the younger one wanted to keep playing as she was having fun. They went back and evidently told Mom I called her precious "rude".
She read me the riot act while my boys and another gentlemen at the park obviously were readying for a fight. I stayed calm and relaxed. I kept my stance non- threatening. I told her that, "Yes, I did say let's play nice and not be rude". She said I was out of line. I told her that if my daughter is playing and I'm not around I wouldn't care if someone had said that. She said we are not the same. She insisted the girl was too young for another adult to talk to her about her behavior (thought those are not the words that she used). I would think if she's too young she should have been supervised. Nevertheless, I told her o.k., if there were more problems I will come get you. She was FAR from the playground and until she came screaming at me I had no clue she was the children's mother. LOL I turned my back as she was leaving the area. She went ballistic...cussing me out...shaking her fists and carrying on......
As we left, we saw the men in the party returning with 4 more cases of beer. If there had been base personnel in the office I would have turned them in as you are not supposed to have "public displays of drunkenness" on base property....This is a lake/park owned by the base but they let the city use it.
Honestly, this is something that has perplexed me at home school park days, chapel events, and parks in general. If you are NOT supervising your child and you are visiting with other mommies....isn't it o.k. for the adult who IS supervising to address your child if need be? I'm not mean. I played with the children for 10 minutes before the older ones decided to go tell Mom how mean I was. I don't get mad at adults who gently address my children.
I thought maybe it was an age thing. She was a 20 something mom and I was 40 something mom....I thought maybe I've parented long enough to realize that if someone tells me a child has misbehaved, he/she most likely has. ::snort:: I mean I LISTEN to my child's point of view....but if my older kids come and tell me my child is behaving badly and has been corrected by an adult, and you can TELL if they have misbehaved by their demeanor, I make them go apologize to the adult. I've done this.
Mike thinks it's personality...he remembers a mom of one of his friends who was like this in the 60's....He says he can think of older moms who would react the same way.....and I've seen all cultures react this way so I don't think it was totally cultural. I suppose it is personality and maturity....I suspect I should simply look for parks without kids. ::snort::
We went to Lamar and played nicely with the others there.
I don't know....
Choosing Joy!
©2009 D.R.G.
12 comments:
De'Etta, I have also seen this and think it is a defence thing...not for the child, but because the mom should have been supervising and wasn't, so it they pick out something to get mad at. Does that make sense? I hate going to parks when there are a lot of other kids. Most of the time we don't encounter large groups, but just a few moms with other small children. I don't think I would have handled as well as you did.
We've also had similar experiences.... sad...
While I've not been cussed out there were some occassions in a previous homeschool group where folks were upset that I dared to say something to their child like "let's walk in the church" or "the rule is you need an adult if you want There was another group that actually had rules that we were not permitted to 'discipline' other people's children; we rarely did much with that group. I am all for someone repremanding my child if they catch them misbehaving before I do.....
So you don't think it's just because I'm an "old lady"? ::snort::
Sounds to me like you had a run-in with our culture...parent not really parenting and wrapped up in what she wants to do, kids left to themselves to do what they want to do and how-dare-you-impose-your-morals-and-expectations-on-me?! Oh and a couple of beers just magnified that whole thing...
Look on the bright side, if it happens in Japan, at least your kids won't be able to pick out the cuss words ;-)
::sigh:: probably true Deja. I think being yelled at that I'm an "old lady" was more upsetting than the cuss words - many of which were in a different language anyway.
Sis: I think Deja hit the nail on the head. A large percent of parents these days don't think of anything but themselves. The kids grow up hearing all the cussing, seeing drinking/drugs and etc. RUDE is a major thing we have to deal with in school. Some kids hardly know and certainly don't understand the word and/or the word be polite etc.
To many unsupervised kids. To many kids sent to school with no breakfast or lunch etc. A sad generation being raised.
I thank God for every kid who has good parents and etc.
I love my job becuase it is great to see kids who never smile or look up when walking finally answer my hello etc. Then the smiles are so neat.
love/prayers Mom T.
When we lived in Germany a kid (teen) was broke his ankle playing on the playground and they tried to say Ross pushed him (he was 9 at the time). Now I'm not saying he couldn't/didn't but it was an accident and I'm sorry you had to spend all day at the ER with a deployed hubby but HELLO how many of us have had to do that? She came to my door and complained,threated to call the CO etc. I told her go ahead, this was after sorry,etc but I wasn't letting Ross get blamed for something he didn't do - as I had seen it from my window and Ross didn't push him, he landed wrong and you could make the case the playground wasn't built for a 16yo! SIGH....
People just don't have manners anymore. I would personally still report it to the base authorities so they can keep an eye out the next few days. We've definetly lost something, time was kids new that if Mom wasn't around they still had to behave cause the neighbor would take care of things and then tell Mom as well! Now we're raising a bunch of spoiled brats with an entitlement or I don't have to cause you can't make me mentality. .... I say we in reference to the culture but unfortunatly even some homeschoolers are like this.
The problem really has so many factors...doesn't it, Holly?
I believe you are right. It used to be if your parents were not around you STILL respected the ADULTS who were around....and if an adult told Mom what you misbehaved...mom trained YOU...didn't yell at adult and say "My baby can do what she wants and no one but me can talk to her." Even that would be FINE...if moms would supervise, train, mentor, engage with thier children - that would be fine...but to go off and visit or as this lady did drink....then get mad if someone does supervise your child is silly and sad.
And yes, sadly, this is also a problem in homeschool communities. I tried to talk to a group about how it bothered me that children were unsupervised while moms visited...and I was told that it toughens the kids up to fight these things out....um...I'm talking TODDLERS across the park from moms....but "it's school hours we're the only ones here - it's safe"....sure but....
I DO understand the need or MOMMY TIME - it just seems to me that if kids are around THEY are the priority and must be supervised....and MOMMY TIME can come at lunches, Mom's NIght Out etc.....stepping off the soap box. ::snort::
De'Etta,
I'm with you :0) Same thing has happened to us. Hang in there,
Julie
OH! I just had a discussion like this with a fellow friend at church. The Sunday we had our first Stations practice my twins were being terrible. Theresa stepped in and used the Mommy voice. I thanked her later. We started talking about the whole "it takes a village' thing. And how it can be scary sometimes these days to say anything to another kid because you never know how the parent will react. I am like you. If my kid is acting up, take action, PLease!
Having lived around here all my life I bet I could draw a very accurate profile of the young mom.
Sorry you had this experience.
This reaction always has me stymied! I don't know why people feel the need to leave their kids unsupervised, then turn around and act indignant when they are "caught".
I don't take anything from parents who behave that way. I am a protector of little kids...mine or others. I will tell the other children they are wrong and need to behave/stop/apologize/leave. If mom can't be there to watch (because the beer's so much better), then she can't come raving to me. And I call them on language too.
When we were in Germany, some of the older kids took a plastic wagon and just DESTROYED it...there were tiny pieces EVERYWHERE. I was picking them up with Hannah and a few other kids came and started to help. One older kid (again, too old to be in the playground to begin with, and the likely culprit of the destruction) started mouthing off and swearing. I told him, "you can use that language anywhere you want, I'm sure...but in the presence of little kids, and in MY presence, you had better not." He was scared enough that I would tell his mom. He decided to join in cleaning...and the kids were happy they didn't have to worry about falling down on sharp plastic OR the bully!
Post a Comment