Old Fashioned Homeschooling
I’ve been schooling long enough to have observed trends and cycles in the movement.
In the “old days”, we schooled very simply. We didn’t have the options currently available. We have a zillion companies willing to sell to us, yahoo groups, blogs, co-ops, online schools, umbrella schools, church schools, tutors …and yet I’ve seen a disturbing trend developing that alarms me. I believe that our many options have led to unrealistic expectations, feelings of inadequacy, and have contributed to burn out for many homeschooling moms. I believe, this culture has led many to put their children back into public schools in Jr High and High School because they feel that they couldn’t possibly do it as well as “suzieqexcells.blogspot.com” (fictitious url) or the “experts”. At conventions we use to hear that we, our child’s parents, were the experts on our children. Now, we often hear from the true homeschooling experts….and feel that we shouldn’t question their authority. When I began schooling we simply took it one day at a time until we finished. Most school districts didn’t want our children back in the system; we knew we had to school them until we figured out what else to do with them. ::snort::
Unrealistic Expectations: SuzieQ may post amazing blog glimpses of astonishing nature walks and yet totally ignore other school subjects. She doesn’t tell you that her oldest is 3 years behind in math, that her youngest hasn’t begun school, and that the great ideas she posted 6 months ago and that you are trying to implement didn’t work at all. SuzieQ may really be practically perfect – but we can’t really know. Co-ops may be wonderful, but aren’t absolutely essential for 2 – 3 days a week. It is possible to stay at home and homeschool the old fashioned way – and see great results. Homeschool companies, like other businesses, try to convince us that their product will SOLVE our homeschool problem. It doesn’t always work that way. Do you think I’m making this up? Consider this ad that was sent via email by a big and popular HOMESCHOOL magazine. This magazine and others are where many new homeschoolers turn for “expert” advice: We expect support from these publications.
“Greetings:
Are you still homeschooling the old fashioned way?
Homeschooling was infinitely more time consuming before “XYZ Academy”. Homeschool parents use to spend their nights and weekends doing lesson plans, tests, grading, scheduling, and coping with the ever present “Am I doing enough?” No wonder burn out is so common! Does this sound like you?”
I don’t feel supported by the above. I feel that the ad tries to portray there is something wrong with old fashioned, independent homeschooling. The use of the term and the description of what “old fashioned” would be offends me. In fact, I need their expertise to homeschool. This ad from a Homeschool magazine has irritated me enough that I don’t plan to renew my subscription.
Feelings of Inadequacies: The above ad landed in my in-box on the very same day I was communicating with 2 online friends and a local friend…. all feel INADEQUATE. I was angry…righteously angry, I believe. Ads like the above, huge co-ops that try to offer all the advantages of private school on a budget, practically perfect homeschool bloggers, tutors who charge huge bucks to implement programs I can buy for a fraction of the cost, perfect posts on yahoo groups, can all lead new homeschoolers, and even veteran homeschoolers, to feel that they aren’t measuring up. We slide into thinking that homeschooling SHOULD be easy. I shouldn’t be wasting my nights making lesson plans, grading, scheduling…..I should let the experts do it. I must find a way to pay for these services. I couldn’t possibly do enough on my own…look I can’t make the perfect 9 week unit study on the lifecycle of a slug. Obviously, I NEED to either join a very active co-op, or this academy, or buy this product. When I’ve worn myself out trying all the options, when I have no money to buy the latest and greatest, I throw up my hands in frustration and put my child back into public school. More and more people feel INADEQUATE to actually homeschool independently. It doesn’t have to be like this.
Burn Out: This syndrome has always been around – even in the dark ages of our movement. I see it intensifying as well-meaning and loving moms try to implement ALL the current options. We leave our homes constantly, yet we try to accomplish all that our curriculums map out for us at home. We fail to pick and choose and so we fell picked over, wilted, and exhausted by spring.
I am not saying we should never use any of the current options. I own a yahoo group. I publish a blog. I take advantage of drama classes and such. However, I believe we need to remember the heart of homeschooling.
A few Things to Consider:
God is the expert on your children. YOU are his partner. Get HIS plans for your child and faithfully follow it.
Do not become a curriculum/blog/magazine/yahoo group junkie if you are prone to feeling inadequate. Once you have God’s plan - stick to it. Look around when you have the green light from God to look for specific help. Don’t allow yourself to feel validated or invalidated based on what others are doing. Look to God for approval.
People homeschooled long before all the current options were available. Most homeschooled until graduation once they had pulled their child out of school. It CAN be done.
If you find “perfect blogs” causing you to feel depressed or inadequate – don’t read them!
Balance – use the options that encourage and help your specific family. If at any point you feel the disadvantages of participating are outweighing the advantages, be courageous enough to adjust. Seek balance.
We do ourselves harm when we excessively compare ourselves and our children to others. Quit!
Carefully choose your mentors – online and in real life. I am NOT trying to be judgmental….but you really only know what an author chooses to reveal about herself. Are you sure she is a mentor you should follow? Has she ever shared the hard days, the real days, the icky stuff so that you can learn from her how to work through those sorts of days? What do you know about her marriage? What do you know about her children? Are they the types of adults you would like yours to become? Has she schooled long enough to give weight to her theories? Has she lived long enough to experience both joys and heartbreaks? Is she willing to pull you close enough so that you can learn from both? Does she give you the freedom to search God for yourself and reach different conclusions than she has? When you find this sort of woman, online or in real life, get close to her. Shadow her. Learn from her. DON’T TRY TO BECOME HER. God has a plan for YOUR family and YOUR life. We don’t need to become clones of each other. Don’t put her on a pedestal – she’s human. If she’s showing you the good, bad, and the ugly you aren’t likely to put her on a pedestal. ::snort::
Shew – this is far too long. The End.
I’ve been schooling long enough to have observed trends and cycles in the movement.
In the “old days”, we schooled very simply. We didn’t have the options currently available. We have a zillion companies willing to sell to us, yahoo groups, blogs, co-ops, online schools, umbrella schools, church schools, tutors …and yet I’ve seen a disturbing trend developing that alarms me. I believe that our many options have led to unrealistic expectations, feelings of inadequacy, and have contributed to burn out for many homeschooling moms. I believe, this culture has led many to put their children back into public schools in Jr High and High School because they feel that they couldn’t possibly do it as well as “suzieqexcells.blogspot.com” (fictitious url) or the “experts”. At conventions we use to hear that we, our child’s parents, were the experts on our children. Now, we often hear from the true homeschooling experts….and feel that we shouldn’t question their authority. When I began schooling we simply took it one day at a time until we finished. Most school districts didn’t want our children back in the system; we knew we had to school them until we figured out what else to do with them. ::snort::
Unrealistic Expectations: SuzieQ may post amazing blog glimpses of astonishing nature walks and yet totally ignore other school subjects. She doesn’t tell you that her oldest is 3 years behind in math, that her youngest hasn’t begun school, and that the great ideas she posted 6 months ago and that you are trying to implement didn’t work at all. SuzieQ may really be practically perfect – but we can’t really know. Co-ops may be wonderful, but aren’t absolutely essential for 2 – 3 days a week. It is possible to stay at home and homeschool the old fashioned way – and see great results. Homeschool companies, like other businesses, try to convince us that their product will SOLVE our homeschool problem. It doesn’t always work that way. Do you think I’m making this up? Consider this ad that was sent via email by a big and popular HOMESCHOOL magazine. This magazine and others are where many new homeschoolers turn for “expert” advice: We expect support from these publications.
“Greetings:
Are you still homeschooling the old fashioned way?
Homeschooling was infinitely more time consuming before “XYZ Academy”. Homeschool parents use to spend their nights and weekends doing lesson plans, tests, grading, scheduling, and coping with the ever present “Am I doing enough?” No wonder burn out is so common! Does this sound like you?”
I don’t feel supported by the above. I feel that the ad tries to portray there is something wrong with old fashioned, independent homeschooling. The use of the term and the description of what “old fashioned” would be offends me. In fact, I need their expertise to homeschool. This ad from a Homeschool magazine has irritated me enough that I don’t plan to renew my subscription.
Feelings of Inadequacies: The above ad landed in my in-box on the very same day I was communicating with 2 online friends and a local friend…. all feel INADEQUATE. I was angry…righteously angry, I believe. Ads like the above, huge co-ops that try to offer all the advantages of private school on a budget, practically perfect homeschool bloggers, tutors who charge huge bucks to implement programs I can buy for a fraction of the cost, perfect posts on yahoo groups, can all lead new homeschoolers, and even veteran homeschoolers, to feel that they aren’t measuring up. We slide into thinking that homeschooling SHOULD be easy. I shouldn’t be wasting my nights making lesson plans, grading, scheduling…..I should let the experts do it. I must find a way to pay for these services. I couldn’t possibly do enough on my own…look I can’t make the perfect 9 week unit study on the lifecycle of a slug. Obviously, I NEED to either join a very active co-op, or this academy, or buy this product. When I’ve worn myself out trying all the options, when I have no money to buy the latest and greatest, I throw up my hands in frustration and put my child back into public school. More and more people feel INADEQUATE to actually homeschool independently. It doesn’t have to be like this.
Burn Out: This syndrome has always been around – even in the dark ages of our movement. I see it intensifying as well-meaning and loving moms try to implement ALL the current options. We leave our homes constantly, yet we try to accomplish all that our curriculums map out for us at home. We fail to pick and choose and so we fell picked over, wilted, and exhausted by spring.
I am not saying we should never use any of the current options. I own a yahoo group. I publish a blog. I take advantage of drama classes and such. However, I believe we need to remember the heart of homeschooling.
A few Things to Consider:
God is the expert on your children. YOU are his partner. Get HIS plans for your child and faithfully follow it.
Do not become a curriculum/blog/magazine/yahoo group junkie if you are prone to feeling inadequate. Once you have God’s plan - stick to it. Look around when you have the green light from God to look for specific help. Don’t allow yourself to feel validated or invalidated based on what others are doing. Look to God for approval.
People homeschooled long before all the current options were available. Most homeschooled until graduation once they had pulled their child out of school. It CAN be done.
If you find “perfect blogs” causing you to feel depressed or inadequate – don’t read them!
Balance – use the options that encourage and help your specific family. If at any point you feel the disadvantages of participating are outweighing the advantages, be courageous enough to adjust. Seek balance.
We do ourselves harm when we excessively compare ourselves and our children to others. Quit!
Carefully choose your mentors – online and in real life. I am NOT trying to be judgmental….but you really only know what an author chooses to reveal about herself. Are you sure she is a mentor you should follow? Has she ever shared the hard days, the real days, the icky stuff so that you can learn from her how to work through those sorts of days? What do you know about her marriage? What do you know about her children? Are they the types of adults you would like yours to become? Has she schooled long enough to give weight to her theories? Has she lived long enough to experience both joys and heartbreaks? Is she willing to pull you close enough so that you can learn from both? Does she give you the freedom to search God for yourself and reach different conclusions than she has? When you find this sort of woman, online or in real life, get close to her. Shadow her. Learn from her. DON’T TRY TO BECOME HER. God has a plan for YOUR family and YOUR life. We don’t need to become clones of each other. Don’t put her on a pedestal – she’s human. If she’s showing you the good, bad, and the ugly you aren’t likely to put her on a pedestal. ::snort::
Shew – this is far too long. The End.
**Update - Having read comments and a few personal responses I want to be crystal clear that I am NOT saying that "co-ops are bad" - some of my best friends are co-op coordinators. ::snort:: I'm not saying "yahoo groups are bad" - I own one. I'm not saying homeschooling blogs are bad. I have a blog and am a team member of Home School Blog Awards. I'm saying that if we aren't careful we tend to allow outside things to define how we homeschool and if we are a "success". If co-ops, tutors, alt ed are good for you - go for it - just realize that it's not the ONLY RIGHT way to homeschool with success.
As for my criteria for a mentor - that could be a whole other post.....but basically I look at Titus 2 and think that a mentor should be doing those things she is to teach younger women (obviously she won't be perfect this side of heaven). There again - those are MY criteria and you are free to choose your own. ::snort:: I am NOT saying that you cannot glean from a woman who doesn't meet the Titus 2 criteria - but mentor to me signifies an intimate spiritual relationship - someone who will be signifcantly speaking into my life on a variety of issues, vs. a casual/learn from each other at a support group type of relationship.
Dana over at Principled Discovery is hosting the Carnival of homeschooling. This is my first ever carnival. LOL I highly recommend you go read Irene's "homeschool bag lady" at the start of the carnival.
©2008 D.R.G.
39 comments:
De'Etta,
I think you bring up valid points that have long been at sea. WE are the ones that have been called by God to homeschool our children. Not to choose other things to homeschool them. I still do little things with my kids for history and field trips, but it is an at home from my heart ministry that the Lord designed home schooling to be. I stand and applaud you
De'Etta,
What a great reminder for my heart. We've been homeschooling for almost 9 years now and your right the homeschool movement has changed drastically.
Thank you.
Laura
De'Etta,
I have seen this too! And I agree with you, it is a HUGE concern! I have had the same responses to "homeschool" advertisers. One Alt-Ed program here in Washington is trying to lure in homeschoolers with the promise of "real teachers!" http://thehomescholar.com/blog/?p=287
I speak on it often, and blog about it as well.
http://thehomescholar.com/blog/?p=294
I think it has a lot to do with assembly-line academics. Whether public school, private school, or "co-op, when you put your child on the assembly line of academics, it's just like that "I love Lucy" episode with her stuffing chocolate in her face! (Here is the video, if you are up for a good laugh! http://thehomescholar.com/blog/?p=310)
Ironically, as colleges start to seek out homeschoolers, they are seeking the truly UNIQUE homeschoolers - the ones who have unusual gifts that independent homeschooling can support and encourage. Maybe as more homeschoolers see the successes of being on their own, and homeschooling "the old fashioned way" it will become fashionable again.
I love what Bill Cosby says: Parents are LOVE givers and not just care-givers" and that makes all the difference!
Blessings,
Lee
-
www.TheHomeScholar.com
De'Etta...great thoughts.
I would only add a few thoughts about mentors. I don't think there is a single person on the planet that is worth following. You wrote fairly strongly that we need to scrutinize those we consider mentors...but I think that it's more than that.
I think we need to realize first and foremost that while in the world everyone is a sinner and is quite possibly misled in some way. This helps us to seek after God and puts human nature in it's proper place. We are fallen, every single one of us. Even the most pious of believers is capable of serious Biblical error. I love so many people who have meant for good, but ended up discouraging people because of a lack of solid understanding of Scriptural principle on any particular issue. I've been intrigued to see folks who have vastly different interpretations of Scripture, life, etc...who are all under the same church roof.
I've also experienced a God who has used both secular and Christian resources to help me teach my children.
I've seen a God who has used an unbeliever to provide a need and child to teach an adult a profound lesson. I personally think that we should not be "seeking," mentors at all. We should seek encouragement and wisdom certainly...but ultimately always checking it with Scripture...using discernment.
God directs us older women to be mentors in Titus 2...and we should do that most definitely. But anything I teach MUST be evaluated and weighed by the Word of God. Yes, I should be weighing it before I teach it...but I'm not perfect...and so, the learner must also be evaluating and discerning for truth and error.
I think it's pretty much useless to evaluate a mentor based on what their life is like. There is too much that can be hidden. Alternatively, one of the best mentors I've ever had was one in which the wife was sustaining the marriage and family by herself...with the husband doing all the wrong things.
Twenty years her marriage was like that and one day, the Lord woke the husband up and he was saved.
Okay, now my comment is nearly as long as your post. LOL
~Yvonne
Thanks, Rachel and Laura.
Lee, I plan to check out your links.
Yvonne - hmmm...mentors - I agree and disagree with what you are saying.
I suppose I thought it went without saying that one would seek God's advice and opinion above all else - which is why we should get God's plan. This is key and speaks to your concerns about each of us having errors in our lives. You are right that this is key.
**I don't think there is a single person on the planet that is worth following. *snip* I personally think that we should not be "seeking," mentors at all.**
I disagree. I see Paul saying, "follow me as I follow Christ" and I believe we are to live in such a way that we can say the same to others. Obviously, I want others to follow CHRIST first, but often he uses us to show others HOW to follow Christ. I do not think it is wrong to seek a mentor. I see this as fulfilling the admonition in Psalms and Proverbs to keep good company. Iron sharpens Iron, several strands are better than one....Fulfilling Titus 2....older women teaching and instructing younger women. Often that comes about as a younger woman seeks out an older woman. Yes, I would also pray about women who I allow to speak into my life, but I will continue to observe their lives and the observable fruit of their lifestyle.....because all too often I've seen women try to follow someone whose family life is obviously out of kilter...I tend to see this in the same light as elders in Titus and Timothy.....that a person needs to be doing well at home before instructing others. All through the Bible I do see that we are relational and I believe that God uses mentors to grow us. I thank God for the women He has brought into my life. They've helped me flesh out my walk with God.
**God directs us older women to be mentors in Titus 2...and we should do that most definitely. But anything I teach MUST be evaluated and weighed by the Word of God.**
Certainly - it seems to go without saying that if older women are to be mentors younger women will seek them out....have that desire to be in relationship with them. I wonder if we are using the term differently - I would NEVER ask anyone or expect anyone to believe ANYTHING they are taught without taking it to Scripture, study and prayer - that is what Paul commended the Bereans for doing. I do not believe that being in a mentoring relationship means that you check your brain and simply believe what they say.
**I've also experienced a God who has used both secular and Christian resources to help me teach my children.**
I'm not sure what this comment is referring too - but I agree wholeheartedly and have also used secular and christian resources.
Thanks for sharing your comments. They help me to think out my own.
Interesting post and thread. We don't have the same issues *at all* here in the UK, so it's quite fascinating to me. We have our own problems though, which I've blogged about in the past and probably will do again!
I think I gave up admiring other homeschool mums after the time I felt depresingly inadequate comparing myself with another mum who seemed to have it all together re homeschool, perfect home, marriage etc. Then I discovered she had a full-time CLEANER! THAT was a bit of a 'duh' moment! :snort!:
Oh, please may I borrow your 9 week study on the lifecycle of the slug?
When you've finished with it, of course.{g}
I appreciate this so much. I have been dealing with some of these same thoughts. We build an idol of the "perfect" homeschool family, but they do not exist.
Hey De'Etta...you and I are thinking along the very same lines I think. What I was referring to by Christian and secular resources is simply that God can use anyone or anything to achieve His purposes. A person doesn't need to be be perfect in order to be used by God. Perhaps, my example was more muddy than I intended. But that's what you get when you write quickly in a comment box.
I agree with you that having mentors is not wrong. I just think we need to be very careful...never esteeming a person over the Lord. (Which happens a lot more than people admit. In fact, I dare say that most people I know tend to trust the seen, more than they trust unseen. It's just human nature.)
That said, I haven't looked at the Scripture you've referenced so I will definitely dig deeper on the issue of mentoring.
Thank you for being a source of "iron sharpening iron!"
I believe that homeschool mentors, older women, are VERY important, but they should be encouraging mothers to follow their instincts as the person who knows what is best for their children.
My midwife told me "know your child and trust yourself." I think that applies even MORE when you are a homeschooler. People will often ASK me to tell them what to do, but I always say that I can merely give my opinion - THEY know what they are supposed to do, because THEY know their child. They just have a hard time trusting themselves....
Interesting discussion!
Blessings,
Lee
--
The HomeScholar
www.TheHomeScholar.com
www.thehomescholar.com/blog
"Helping parents homeschool through high school"
De'Etta, thank you so much for this. I have been having these same thoughts lately. Each spring I wonder what the heck am I doing. The year is not winding up as planned last summer when I made perfect and wonderful plans :::snort:::
I only know 1 person IRL that is hs'ing through high school, and she is 45 min. away. The rest have put their kids in either PS or CS. I feel like a weirdo, but that's OK.
We don't belong to any co-ops or groups or leave our house for outside things. I buy curriculum, I make assignment books and we plod along. Some things are great and some things are challenging, but we are learning and growing together.
Having a chronic illness has taught me that I have to limit my schedule. I have to stay home and do school and that has to be our focus. I do not have the energy to take us everywhere.
But my boys are learning and thriving and God will honor our commitment, I believe.
We are having this discussion on the SL forums this weekend. One gal came on and gave a glowing report of putting her kids in public school. I was like? What are you doing? This is a place to support HS'ing. I'm glad you have choices, but a hs'ing board in the spring is not the time to say how wonderful it is not to be hs'ing any longer, ya know.
Anyway, I so agree with you. I try to be real on my blog and not protray our life as glowing and perfect. It's nice to think about, but I want to be real. And I appreciate that about you, De'Etta. You are real. You show us struggles and triumphs and I appreciate that!
I think this is a great post, De'Etta, really full of wisdom and encouragement. The best thing that has happened to me in terms of homeschooling this year has been that I immersed myself in a completely unrelated hobby and quit reading homeschooling message boards and endlessly researching curriculum and approaches. Seeing my oldest excel at community college has helped me relax a great deal, and we were really old-fashioned and relaxed with her--and she's doing just terrific. But that homeschooling message board I spent so much time reading the past few years had me convinced we weren't doing enough for our kids, they weren't working hard enough, and so on. I seriously contemplated school for my boys--but thankfully DH is wiser than I and reminded me of our heart and our roots in homeschooling: It's not about school, and we're learning all the time.
Thanks for the reminder--I hope lots of people read it and take it to heart!
clap, clap, clap, CLAP!!! Can you hear me all the way from Maine? Well done! Very well said. EXCELLENT points. Thank you.
The questioning and discontent come along as part of our culture I think. Turn on any sort of media you choose and find a ad for how to do something bigger, better, and bolder. NOTHING is good enough, we must consume, consume, consume in search of happiness and contentment. At least, that is the message we see and hear around us.
Rose
Very nice and well thought out post.
I have a cat on my lap which makes typing hard but I have to say my boys would love to see a slug unit study. LOL
I completely agree with your thoughts on this. I'm in the Dallas area and often feel like homeschooling has become such a big business. Everything, including field trips, are getting to be so expensive. It isn't necessary to spend loads of money on curriculums that make promises. Success is doing what works best for the individual and family.
I once heard that it's not fair to compare. The sure fire way to feel inadequate is to compare ourselves to others. There is nothing wrong with gleaning ideas from others, but if we're walking away feeling inadequate, it is time to step away for a while. I have never subscribed to homeschool magazines for this reason. I would tend to compare myself to those who have their own garden and bake bread every day and wonder why I can't do that. If you can glean information and ideas without feeling inadequate, magazines can be great to have. Each family is unique and what constitutes homeschooling success for that family will be its own unique style that fits them.
That was an amazing post! That needs to be published. :) This is the end of our 8th year, and I have to say that I didn't feel as inadequate during the first six as I did last year, and it was because I had too much noise buzzing around from perfect moms and perfect articles. I hesitantly went back to reading more online that didn't come from you and some SHSers. lol This is something that we are ALL prone to... newbies and veterans alike. I think that your reminder was wonderful for all of us across the board no matter how long we've been at it or what type of homeschoolers we are.
You are going to republish this come fall, right? lol I think we'll need reminders again. Actually, I'm hereby requesting a spring (planning season), fall (to get our year off started right), and mid year pick me up along the same lines. lol
LOL Dorothy - my unit study on the lifestyle of the slug seems destined to be a best seller....maybe I should write one. LOL
{{{Kelly}}} You've had a rough few years. You know what stands out to me - you're still standing, ala Eph 6...having done all - stand. It's all in God's strength.
I should point out that I understand that God calls some families to be in public school - but there is a trend of folks giving up their convictions because they feel inadequate - because unbeknownst to our our success as a movement has created experts who unknowingly and I'm sure unwillingly cause others to feel inadequate.
Thanks for your kind words. I've taken some hits for being real - but I determined long ago not to let folks only see the polish. ::snort::
Laura in CT,
**The best thing that has happened to me in terms of homeschooling this year has been that I immersed myself in a completely unrelated hobby and quit reading homeschooling message boards**
I KNOW that 90% of us don't mean to make others feel badly when we share what we are doing or what works for us....but you made me chuckle with your comment. I believe that is why I don't often struggle with those feelings - I don't have time to read many boards....but I'll admit to my own bout with insecurity in the past couple of weeks.....until I realized THIS IS CRAZY! You've graduated 3 children who are doing well, you have done this for 18 years - you know what you are doing. LOL
Good thoughts, Rose. Thanks Lisa and Jodi for your sweet words.
Merri,
**feel like homeschooling has become such a big business. **
Exactly! There are ADVANTAGES to this. We have such a wide variety of excellent products to choose from these days...but along with becoming a business we inherit some down sides. LOL
LOL Stephanie. You tell me when it is time for a seasonal post and I'll try to oblige. LOL
Thanks for taking the time to encourage us with some "old school" wisdom, De'Etta.
WOW!!! You have stated everything I have noticed about the "New Improved Homeschooling" Movement and how it makes me feel......inadequate! We have been at this for 8 years now---and like a pp said, I never felt SO inadequate as in the last year or 2 with all the talk of co-ops, community college, enrichment classes, tutors, AP classes etc. I don't WANT to relinquish my kids yet----college is coming faster than a Speeding Train. There is SO, so much pressure now to "line up" with public school standards---it makes me sick! It is too much pressure for moms---and some even give up homeschooling because of this. Please post this again-----we ALL need to hear this on a regular (maybe daily?) basis!!
Katie B--Another Old-Fashioned Homeschooler after almost turning to the "dark" side............
It's taken me 5 years to figure out that I want to be an old-fashioned homeschooler - thanks for a great post!
Great post, DeEtta. I'm glad this came up the other day in our other emails and that you blogged about it!
Excellent post, DeEtta. Thanks for the reminder! I am sending the link to this post to my local support group. It is something we all need to hear!
De'Etta, you have blessed me so much today with this post. It really spoke to my heart and what I have been feeling in recent years.
When we first started homeschooling 11 years ago, there were so many fewer choices and I often think that was easier. Now, you are bombarded with curriculum choices and more importantly with so many "you have to homeschool this way or you are not doing it right" philosophies. It is easy to lose sight of what is best for you and your family in your homeschooling journey.
I never wanted to "do school at home"...to me I don't understand the point, but if someone else wants to do that, fine, but please don't tell me I have to.
We have had such a wonderfully, eclectic, free, fun attitude about homeschooling and the kids thrived on this environment. It was only after the Littles came home that I began to panic and start looking for something else, when basically the same things still work, I just needed to go a bit slower and a little bit gentler. Why fix something if it isn't broke.
Anyway, thank you so much for stepping up and speaking for those of us who are feeling overwhelmed and condemned because we choose to homeschool in a more old fashioned way, without all the bells and whistles of the new movement in homsechooling.
Well said De'Etta! I think we've learned the most during those years that we didn't have the latest and greatest curriculum. Not that they are bad, but that for us, we need to learn differently for it to stick.LOL
Debbie said...
We have had such a wonderfully, eclectic, free, fun attitude about homeschooling and the kids thrived on this environment. It was only after the Littles came home that I began to panic and start looking for something else, when basically the same things still work, I just needed to go a bit slower and a little bit gentler. Why fix something if it isn't broke.
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I did the same thing Debbie! I knew what worked for my family but thought with the new littles around that things needed to change. What I've learned is, I know my kids best and we're doing just fine without all those bells and whistles. I just need to put those blinders on and plod along until we're done. I need to listen to God first, then I need to WATCH my kids to see how best to teach what God has brought into my heart.
Thank you for writing this De'Etta! It has really helped me to refocus.
Lisa
Thank you so much! Your words are always an inspiration to me. I read your blog every day.
It is hard starting out HS with a non-traditional learner. We can not do the textbook or workbook route. Most of the local homeschoolers in my area are doing 2 or 3 Co-Ops and 8 to 14 subjects for each child. Way to much for Kalie and I. We miss lots of park days or do not attend the "weekly field trips" because we are reading or mathing (as Kalie calls it).
It is hard when you are not in the "group" but I know I am doing what is best for Kalie.
Hi,
This is very well written, and I couldn't agree more. On my homeschoolf forum, which I dearly love, I often tell women to stop listening to what others tell them about homeschooling verses any other type of schooling. If a person is truly at peace inside about what she is doing, then she doesn't need the approval of others. It won't matter what anyone else is doing, or how anyone else is homeschooling..it just won't matter. The only thing that matters is that you are doing what God wants you to do, and you have peace in your heart about it. Only you know what your child needs. I love reading other's homeschool blogs, but always keep in mind that every family is different. It is also true that we only see the best of most people on their blogs. I recently made a post spilling out all of the "wrong" things that I do....I just wanted to make it clear that I AM NOT perfect and DO NOT want to portray myself as so!!
You have a beautiful family!!! You must feel so blessed. I look forward to reading more of your Blog!!
There are about a hundred different things I could say in response to this post, but I'll sum it all up with a "thank you."
I am dealing with "spring time burnout" at this point and for that reason I avoid all the articles, websites, catalogs, etc., that tell me I'm still not getting it quite right. The last thing I need is one more thing to make me feel guilty!
There are So many options out there now, and it can be so overwhelming. I keep telling myself that if my children grow up to be Godly people, everything will be OK. The rest, while perhaps important, pales in comparison.
I just wanted to say, I love reading your blog! I was homeschooled in a family of 10 kids and it is so fun to read about a large homeschooling family. I have two kids that are young, but we plan to homeschool them. Keep up the fun blogging and awesome teaching and mothering your great kids!
the family - wow - 10! Thanks for stopping by....
I agree with the above comment from Rose. In our culture we think we can purchase our way out of any problem. Having a bad day? It must be the curriculum. Get a new one. Kids won't listen? Need that new character training book. Marriage struggles? Need to get the latest book and take the latest class. I'm not saying we shouldn't do these things. I am saying that in our culture we depend on them. It's just so much easier to rely on others to solve our problems for us than to admit we have a lot of work to do. We're taught from an early age to be consumers rather than producers. As a twelve year homeschooling veteran I see this all too often, our latest curriculum fair was a little shocking, and I am concerned for the future of homeschooling when we are so enamoured with the latest products and experts that we fail to completely parent.
I just found your blog. I agree with you. This is my fourth year of homeschooling but the first year that we decided to make it simple by staying home. Very refreshing! We are to pursue the path that God has for us as a family, not the path that so and so is doing. Yes, I am thankful for the many suggestions/ideas that are out there to learn from, but they musn't place pressure on who we are as a family. Blessings
Thank you Thank you Thank you!!! I just posted a link on my blog yesterday about how overwhelming it is listening to everyone's views of what is the "right" way to do everything!!! Thanks for the encouragement. We are starting to homeschool our daughter this year for kindergarten. I struggle with wanting to do it right and take advatage of every opportunity. Your blog has encouraged me to really seek the Lord and be confident in where He leads us! Dont' compare!! The best advice of the day!
A friend of mine and I have been noticing lately at the annual homeschool conference how many of the vendors seem to be preying on the fear of being inadequate. We have seen friends spend hundreds of dollars on a curriculum that promises to solve all their math woes and be the "creative" way to teach math. A year later, their child(ren) is/are still not solid on the basics. It is a sad trend.
I've been homeschooling for 18 years and I STILL don't have all the answers. But I do know the One Who does!! Thanks for the encouragement to keep to the course that He has mapped out for our family.
blessings,
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