TGIF

A yummy sugar free treat at the end of a long week. 

 

Furnishing a Room

 

Melia decided she would like a little shelf in her room, after all. She and I headed to Walmart to pick it up and then she got busy putting it together. In the end she called for a bit of help finishing the project. 

We Are Sad - but so GRATEFUL

Yes, we have been very busy...something outside of the home every day last week and this week.... but mostly, I think I've been silent because I'm processing. I tend to go quiet.

I miss Josiah - a lot. 

Is it because Krista and Allie went back home or Jamin moved? Maybe. 

Josi & Noah waiting for the party to start 📷by Larissa

I think it's more. February is BIRTHDAY month in our family. We have birthdays on the 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, 14th (anniversaries) and 20th. Josiah's birthday was Feb 9th....and both Josi and Liv have birthdays this month.  We loved attending Josi and Noah's birthday party last week...and yet emotions struck us harder than we expected. I could SEE Josiah with his arm around Liv giving her advice and direction. Except he isn't here any longer. As Josi and Noah reacted to their cakes and parents hovered around...I could SEE how much fun Josiah would be having celebrating his daughter's 2nd birthday, but he never met his daughter. His laughter rang in my memory, but I missed hearing it THAT night.  I remembered how excited he was to raise the girls with their cousins - specifically Josi with Noah and the baby girl Arielle was expecting...It is great joy to see all the cousins. 

This is also the week a year ago where we watched jury selection, heard evidence presented, heard details of Josiah's last minutes, saw pictures of a crime scene, saw autopsy photos and then heard a jury return an amazing verdict of guilty on all counts. 

The heart remembers even when the mind is busy with other pursuits.  

Year's past, as we'd stepped back from all our activities, we were able to sit in the emotions. Now, we feel the emotions, and we are looking for space to express them, but we are more involved in the activities of life. This is what activity has been like for most of our family the last few years... I am thankful we are stronger this year and are able to "carry on" with the emotions just under the surface (leaking out our eyes occasionally) ...I am also aware of needing to find space for a bit more of grief to be expressed. 

Monday Melia and I watched Josi while Carrie went to work. We visited with Livie after school. Michael came over to fix a stair railing for Carrie. He was using Josiah's tools to fix a railing in Josiah's house that Josiah would have taken care of if he'd been around...and it was hard, sad, and yet joyous to be able to support Carrie in a practical way.  It's all mixed up in our hearts. 

He went on to FORGED - a monthly men's meeting. He sat alone in the back and struggled with his emotions. He, like me, is also missing Josiah so very much.  One of the young men, Tyler, turned around and talked to Michael. He had been Josiah and Carrie's neighbor but has since moved. We met him while fixing a joint fence and carrying things in and out of the house as Carrie organized things in those early days of loss.  He recognized Michael. Later they were to break into groups to share and pray for one another. Michael shared he was having a hard time just missing Josiah that evening.  Tyler said he'd been wanting to share this with Carrie and us. The first time he attended ACF was for Josiah's celebration of life. He and his wife, Carissa, began attending ACF. They got saved. They made some big changes, and he names Josiah's life and death as the cause of him stepping into church that first time. That's worth celebrating!!!!  Josiah would be so very honored and excited to hear this...as are we. 

Isn't that great that Michael "happened" to be sitting behind Tyler and "happened" to be having a hard day which prompted Tyler to share not just his memory of Josiah (which he's done in the past) but his salvation story?

God is good - even when life is very hard.  He is so gracious, merciful and kind to gift us with a story of how Josiah's life impacted another and will have continued legacy when we are missing him so very much. 

Having shared the above, I'll be able to share about all the events of this week and not have to write every time "we were sad while being happy", or just share the happy and feel like I'm not being "real and authentic" because you'll understand that evidently, the first couple weeks of February have the possibility of being grief awakening weeks...at least this year.

 

Watching Josi

 I have really missed Carrie and the girls during their travels. I was thrilled to have another day to spend with Josi. Melia joined us. This was good as she was able to have her first conversation with Liv. All in all a good day with the girls. 

Starting the day with a good breakfast! 

Willow LOVES Melia! 

School on the road! 

After nap time - waking up is tough. 

Playing with Smokey

Such a good girl - cleaning up is fun! 

Josi & Willow like helping Melia

I am glad we got a couple of days in right away...the gals will be traveling again in February and I don't think we'll be watching Josi again until March. 

Sunday Afternoons...

Sunday afternoons are for relaxing. 

If the week has gone well and Stacia's homework load allows it she comes up to breathe Sunday afternoon. She and Melia have begun trying to get out to cross-country ski if the weather permits. 

 They went to Government Peak today. This is a harder trail than the local park. Melia fell much more, but she's a good sport. (Editor's note: She's stuck with it and is starting to enjoy it as much as Stacia.)

We were happy when Nolan stopped by in the evening. We tried to save a building, and I think we ended up losing the fight, but we had fun doing it together. ::snort:: 

Nolan, Stacia, Melia, Michael

Random January Tidbits

 I KNOW I had great plans of blogging while Melia did school. Life got busy and I found myself sitting nearby while Melia schools but working on our bills, Dad's re-application for the Medicaid waiver, cleaning, Dad's bills...

I am working diligently to finish capturing January before March arrives.  Here are all the wonderful glimpses I might have blogged if I was blogging daily. They are just too good to go totally unnoticed. 

Random glimpses and tidbits from January....Noah is learning to ski (so is Melia). 

Noah - 3 yo (nearly)

Attitude! I love it! 

Meanwhile Luke has been finding sharks and such on his deep dives. I can't imagine! 

Krista continues to build monster "Lego" mouses. 

You will see various shots of Carrie and the girls throughout the month. They chose to abscond to warmer areas...FL and then a cruise - they were traveling from Dec - Jan 20th.  I have realized this is the first year in 3 or 4 that January include a trip to visit Sister Friends in OR. I miss breaking up the winter and will need to check into that next year. 

Josi flying like a pro

Melia has brought Korean dramas to our home. It's really pretty fun to sit with popcorn on a winter afternoon and try to read the English subtitles before they move on.  I wonder if we can find some Japanese dramas to watch...that will help us both with our Japanese and could be considered school. 

Luke on the bottom of the bay again

Allie's favorite spot when she's home. 

We miss you sweet girl! 

Liv's favorite on board hang out! 

THIS was a welcome sight! I lost my wallet...and there it was in the driveway! 

While Allie was home we made a stop at our local Emergency Room. Peace of Mind is PRICELESS, and we don't regret it one bit. It did re-surface memories of another visit. 

Meanwhile - off ship - we enjoy winter. 

Such a big personality - Josi - nearly 2 

Jared - our favorite Anchorage Assemblyman

It's sunset season - soon the sun won't be setting at decent hours. 

Josi's first dentist visit

I have gotten so many phone calls from Noah that I have entered Jared's office phone number as "Noah's work phone." Jared says he walks in, goes immediately to the phone and calls Bachan. 

Bachan's phone buddy! 

Allie & Ashton

Jamin (the realtor and not Jared the assemblyman) has arrived in Florida. He has set up a new apartment and office.  It is pure joy to see him happy in the sun! We miss him. 

This tropically raised girl misses the ocean, too! 

January held visits from adult Gherkins, Melia moving in, Jamin moving away...lots of planned events and a few unplanned. It was a great month. 

The Girls are Home

Carrie and the girls are home!!!! 

I was excited to drive in to wake up Livie and spend the day with Josi. Melia chose to bring her schoolwork with her and come along. We left our home at 6:30 so we could arrive before Josi woke up. 

Melia caught a few more minutes of sleep while I got Josi a breakfast...I think this little girl has grown a foot since I saw her. Seriously, she probably hasn't grown a whole lot, but her personality is growing by leaps and bounds! 

While Melia worked on school, Josi and I caught up on our play time. She's busy all the time these days. 

Sometime in here Josi talked us into spending a bit of time with Miss Rachel. 

Smokey was a bit alarmed with all the activity in the house, but I think he's glad to have his people home. 

We are glad the girls had a great holiday season; we are THRILLED they are HOME!!!