Courageous Joy

Parenting/discipline in Proverbs - Ch 29

29:8 "Scorners set a city aflame, but wise men turn away anger."

~I have a bit of a sarcastic flair about me. Anyone surprised? I have learned that I have to really watch this or my children (as well as others) interpret it as scorn. Have you seen a parent who continually scorns their children? It's sad and devastating for the child.

29:11 "A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back."

~I always have a choice! I do not HAVE to loose a temper. I CAN choose joy in every situation. Some days (like yesterday) require more of a conscious choice. LOL

~A wise woman will hold her temper BACK....children have a hard time being truly discipled when we are approaching them with an out of control temper.

~Walk by the spirit in this issue...if you have an anger/temper problem - I've been there - daily bring that to the Lord and allow His Holy Spirit to speak loudly to you in this area. You're children, your husband, you and GOD deserve better than this from you.

29:15 "The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother."

~Again - hit parenting and scroll down to October to fully see what I think about "rod".

~brief word studies (I'll study them deeper and share if I find anything in reproof or shame to add)
rod - 7626 shevet - symbol of authority, family connections, protection

reproof - #8433 - towkechah and towkachath (Strongs) - correction, proof, reasoning, discipline

child - 5288 - naar - youth 16 - marriage (see parenting/Oct for full study)
shame - 954 - buwah - (strongs) to pale, disappointed or delayed

~Please understand that what I'm about to say is NOT meant to be judgmental. Children make their OWN choices and some learn the hard way......but...

~I've often observed children who grew up with the rod (as commonly understood to be an instrument with which to spank) consistently applied who in the end bring shame to their Moms....

~ I think the verse/study has cleared this up for me. IF I believe that this means I must physically spank a young child and I will be guaranteed a wise child...I've missed what Proverbs and the Bible have to say about parenting. First - remember that Proverbs are NOT meant to be absolute doctrine or promises. Second, spanking should never be the ONLY tool a parent uses or the MAIN tool a parent uses. AND as far as I've found these rod verses all apply to YOUTH and not young children anyway.

~Putting the meaning back into the verse: "Authority, family life, parental protection and reasoning, mentoring, oral instruction brings wisdom, but a youth who gets his own way makes a Mom pale and causes delay (in joy?) and disappointment. " - I think this accurately describes the heart ache some of my friends have had to walk THROUGH - but often this is not a fault of the parent....the youth has made rebellious choices and has turned around....

~Note that a youth/child is not to get his own way regardless of how you interpret "rod".

~We are to be actively involved with our children. Discipline - mentor, train, teach their hearts.....this is certainly not letting a child go his own way.

~I guess what I'm saying is there seems to be a misconception, in some circles, that if you don't spank you are simply letting your child "do what he wants" or being "permissive". Letting a child raise himself is NOT Biblical. The Bible clearly has a more rounded view of parenting than some authors who focus on one aspect of child-raising - whatever their chosen aspect may be.

29:17 "Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul."

~Correct, be involved, don't overlook character issues....know well your flock....stay engaged...can you think of another way to say this?

29:18 "Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, but happy is he who keeps the law".

~Transfer your family vision to your children, transfer the vision of the gospel to your children

29:20 "Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him."

~Whoa. Slow down.

29:23 "A man's pride will bring him low, but a humble spirit will obtain honor."

~Beware of exhibiting pride in your parenting. {G} Actually we studied this a bit in I John. We decided that it is o.k. to have a sense of accomplishment in a job well done...but that this should NOT come from comparing our accomplishment with others. In other words I can take pleasure and joy in children who love the Lord....but that should be from a sense of having faithfully raised MY child...not because I think I've done a better job than Gertrude. Beware.

29:25 "The fear of man brings a snare, but he who trusts in the Lord will be exalted."

~Is my parenting based on fear of what others will think? If so - I'm heading for a snare. I must obey God's leading and walk by the Spirit in every area of my life....even if I'm marching alone or out of step with dear Christian friends.