BUT I already HAVE a houseful of children to mother!!!
OK - now that that is off my chest.... I made a CONSCIOUS choice 2 years ago to leave many of my leadership/mentoring/ministry roles behind. I had become over-involved with ministry outside of my home and needed to focus on my children. Yes, I teach a small study now...but I WAS teaching 3 - 4 studies a week for quite a bit of time. I've carefully evaluated each activity to come our way. I've made sure it won't interfere with school, it is something that will benefit my children, and that there is TIME to become involved. I've been quite content to put most of my focus on the ministry of mothering.....and I sense that God has been pleased with this as well. Sometimes, the children wish I'd get out a bit more. ::snort:: Sometimes, Mike misses me being a very active helpmate in the chapel...but all in all it's been good. I've been focusing on mothering MY children!
I'm finding more and more, as my children interact with their generation, that there are peers of theirs who are looking for a mother figure. I've thought about it. I've failed to do much. I was asked by one of my daughters if I'd sort of adopt one of her friends....I never lived in the same town, I didn't really know her, I've prayed, but it has been easy to let it slide....I'm busy with a new baby (now 20 months old)....this amazing young woman who has tenaciously followed Christ to Guam deserves a Christian Mom who will not only pray for her, but take an interest in her life.
We've had a student attending Bible Study. She's had some rough times. I've stayed late and visited. I've given her rides. I've prayed. I haven't had her over. I haven't called her as often as I should. It's so hard to tell which students are wanting mothering and which are enjoying their first taste of independence. Anyway, this dear young woman has run into some hard times. She's leaving our base as of Friday. She's sad, hurt, disgruntled. She talked tonight about how hard this has been for her. We didn't realize her mother had died 3 years ago. She said, "I have no one to call and I only want to discuss this with my Mom." She said several times, "I need a surrogate mother. I know I'm 26, but I miss her and I need a mother figure." So...what am I going to do? I'm going to do what others have done for my baby girls as they left home and moved into the world in WA. I'm going to mother this young woman. I'm going to remember how very much her own mother loved her and how very much I would want others to mother my babies if I were not here. I know she's leaving our base, but you can be sure I'll keep in touch. I'll have her luggage so surely, she'll get in touch with me?????
I know I'm tired. I know I have a full ministry here with my very own children...but I can't turn a deaf ear to this huge need that I see over and over in young women of this generation. They need to experience a mother's love.....Can we doubt that the "simple" act of mothering is in fact a ministry to our children....and quit easily to their generation???? I've always felt that my passion was to mentor other women....increasingly however, I find YOUNG women being attracted to me...just as I enter decrepitude (right there with you Dorothy!). I'm really surprised...because you know I AM old...and old fashioned and PECULIAR. It's hard to say what's on my heart. I guess I'm realizing that I need to continue my focus on my children...but I need to be willing to also look beyond my boundaries and see who else God is placing in my life that really needs the loving touch of a mother. Not in any way to take away from my mothering of my children - I've been there and I'm pretty aware of situations that are going to have a negative impact on the mentoring that I must do at home. Obviously, if I expend all my energy mentoring women and other young women and neglect my OWN children...I've failed.
I think I'm leaning towards reading "The Ministry of Motherhood" for our first book discussion.... LOL
OK - now that that is off my chest.... I made a CONSCIOUS choice 2 years ago to leave many of my leadership/mentoring/ministry roles behind. I had become over-involved with ministry outside of my home and needed to focus on my children. Yes, I teach a small study now...but I WAS teaching 3 - 4 studies a week for quite a bit of time. I've carefully evaluated each activity to come our way. I've made sure it won't interfere with school, it is something that will benefit my children, and that there is TIME to become involved. I've been quite content to put most of my focus on the ministry of mothering.....and I sense that God has been pleased with this as well. Sometimes, the children wish I'd get out a bit more. ::snort:: Sometimes, Mike misses me being a very active helpmate in the chapel...but all in all it's been good. I've been focusing on mothering MY children!
I'm finding more and more, as my children interact with their generation, that there are peers of theirs who are looking for a mother figure. I've thought about it. I've failed to do much. I was asked by one of my daughters if I'd sort of adopt one of her friends....I never lived in the same town, I didn't really know her, I've prayed, but it has been easy to let it slide....I'm busy with a new baby (now 20 months old)....this amazing young woman who has tenaciously followed Christ to Guam deserves a Christian Mom who will not only pray for her, but take an interest in her life.
We've had a student attending Bible Study. She's had some rough times. I've stayed late and visited. I've given her rides. I've prayed. I haven't had her over. I haven't called her as often as I should. It's so hard to tell which students are wanting mothering and which are enjoying their first taste of independence. Anyway, this dear young woman has run into some hard times. She's leaving our base as of Friday. She's sad, hurt, disgruntled. She talked tonight about how hard this has been for her. We didn't realize her mother had died 3 years ago. She said, "I have no one to call and I only want to discuss this with my Mom." She said several times, "I need a surrogate mother. I know I'm 26, but I miss her and I need a mother figure." So...what am I going to do? I'm going to do what others have done for my baby girls as they left home and moved into the world in WA. I'm going to mother this young woman. I'm going to remember how very much her own mother loved her and how very much I would want others to mother my babies if I were not here. I know she's leaving our base, but you can be sure I'll keep in touch. I'll have her luggage so surely, she'll get in touch with me?????
I know I'm tired. I know I have a full ministry here with my very own children...but I can't turn a deaf ear to this huge need that I see over and over in young women of this generation. They need to experience a mother's love.....Can we doubt that the "simple" act of mothering is in fact a ministry to our children....and quit easily to their generation???? I've always felt that my passion was to mentor other women....increasingly however, I find YOUNG women being attracted to me...just as I enter decrepitude (right there with you Dorothy!). I'm really surprised...because you know I AM old...and old fashioned and PECULIAR. It's hard to say what's on my heart. I guess I'm realizing that I need to continue my focus on my children...but I need to be willing to also look beyond my boundaries and see who else God is placing in my life that really needs the loving touch of a mother. Not in any way to take away from my mothering of my children - I've been there and I'm pretty aware of situations that are going to have a negative impact on the mentoring that I must do at home. Obviously, if I expend all my energy mentoring women and other young women and neglect my OWN children...I've failed.
I think I'm leaning towards reading "The Ministry of Motherhood" for our first book discussion.... LOL
6 comments:
Bless you, DeEtta, for being willing to step in to meet such a deeply felt need. I don't think it has to be a question of either loving others or ministering to your own children. I think we can minister to others *in the course of* our primary ministry.
The situation isn't quite as bad in the UK yet as few grown women experienced absent mothers whilst growing up. But it's a time bomb since it's the norm now. I'd say we'll see this deep need emerge in the next few years.
I do love Spiritual Mothering by Susan Hunt. Lots of lovely thoughts in there about this subject.
Very lovely thing to do De'Etta! I had a surrogate mother. I adored her! When I was 16 my very best friend was a 30 year old married lady with 4 boys. I about lived at her house on the weekends. I thank God for that family that loved me when my own family was so whacky! And being around all those boys certainly helped me LOL.
I need to reread Sally Clarkson's mothering book. I'll be in on that book discussion.
YEAH De'etta! As a 'young' woman (I'm 27- do I count?) craving a motherly mentor I can definately see why girls pick such a peculiar person to look up to! Anybody want to adopt me :)
Ah you NUT - I've already adopted you Becky - they can't have you! ::snort::
That's so sweet, you're a good person De'Etta. It sounds like you are balancing carefully family/other things and you know when something or someone needs you.
HI: How nice to be able to be a surrogate mother. What wonderful and interesting experiences you will have.
All I can be is a surrogate G'Ma. Guess I have Mikhail and Nadia. I am not sure what to call what I am becoming to some of the kids at school.
I got an earful from one girl today after I sent her out of the classroom..... went to talk to her and did I ever get a story..... Also this morning I found out more about one young man who has decided I am ok and he can say HI and even give me 1/2 a smile.
love the kids and sure pray for them a lot.
So many kids in public schools have suffered such terrible things and there is always room for lots of prayers.
l/p
Post a Comment