Thursday, May 17, 2007

Book Review: The Ministry of Motherhood, Ch 4 Questions

Gift of Grace Discussion Questions

I'm going to go ahead and post these questions before quotes from Ch. 4 - because I'm not done reading Ch. 4. {G} This will give more time to ponder these and comment on them between now and next week's discussion questions. Maybe you can pick one question a day to comment on? Be sure to note the number of the question you comment on.

1. Read Rm 2:4. According to this verse what leads us to repent? How specifically does God want you to extend his grace to your children so that his kindness, through you, will lead them to repentance?

2. Read Mark 14:66-72 and then I Peter4:8. Knowing that Christ gave Peter grace after he failed so miserably, how would he have you extend this kind of grace to your own children? What would this look like in your daily interactions?

3. The last night Jesus had with his disciples, he called them "little children" (John 13:33). Does this tell you anything about his attitude toward these grown men who were his most devoted followers? Read John 14:1 and see what his continued response was to Peter after he had confronted him with the fact that he would deny Christ. How does this show the loving grace that Jesus extended to his disciples? How does he want you to extend it to your children?

4. The Bible makes it clear that we are to discipline and correct our children when they do wrong. How do you do this faithfully while still giving them the gift of grace?

5. Write down what tends to irritate you about each of your children and sometimes keeps you from showing God's gracious love, pray for each child he has given into your hands and make a plan for how you will respond more graciously to him or her, especially in those irritating situations.

NOTE - this question makes me uncomfortable. Let's share in generic general terms if you choose to answer this one.....in other words don't name your children.....I tend to shy from these sorts of questions in ladies groups because I've seen so many ladies studies on marriage turn into gripe situations about husbands etc.....I DO THINK this is a great exercise to do and will do it...but I'm not sure about sharing it on the Internet. LOL

5 comments:

DeEtta @ Courageous Joy said...

Question 1 - Read Rm 2:4. According to this verse what leads us to repent?

The KINDNESS of God leads us to repent according to this verse. What an awesome reminder that I don't have to put on my "angry eyes", my "stern face", and my "nasty voice" to lead a child to repent.

I believe we extend this kindness and grace when we truly FORGIVE our children (not calling up their past wrongs to remind them of how they fail over and over, not beating them up with their past sins - but FORGIVE).

I believe we extend kindness and grace when we sometimes don't make them walk through ALL the consequences of poor choices - because sometimes God doesn't make me walk through them all...but even when He does He walks through them with me (mercy) and so I believe that walking through the painful consequences of sin with my child shows them kindness, mercy and grace.

I believe I extend kindness when I consciously choose words of encouragement even in failure rather than words of condemnation. "Peter you will fail - but I will rise you up" - sort of thing.

I believe I extend this kindness when I reign in my frustration and train and respond to teachable moments - rather than react to irritation.

I believe I can extend this kindness by taking the time to fully train my child before expecting to see results.

I believe that I extend kindness when I expect excellence and not perfection from my children - in all areas.

DeEtta @ Courageous Joy said...

Hmmm.....I seemed to touch on question 2 and 4 in that answer to one....I'll have to think and post some more later.

Question 5 - things that irritate in children....

I still don't like this question but I can see that it will be good!!!!

1. Two of my children talk all the time - and I like quiet sometimes....I need to choose to be blessed and honored that they want to talk to me - even when I'm tired. I need to graciously listen.

2. One of my children doesn't talk - I need to allow that this child is an introvert - and lovingly draw this child out.

3. One of my children is a perfectionist - respond with kindness and pray for excellence and moments to share the pitfalls I experienced as a perfectionist.

I'm sure I'll see more as my eyes are open to look.

DeEtta @ Courageous Joy said...

2. **how would he have you extend this kind of grace to your own children? What would this look like in your daily interactions?**

I think it would mean we don't ALWAYS have to be the big heavy, the strict disciplinarian to parent like Christ. Christ forgave and showed grace, and walked with sinners through the consequences of their sin and mess. I want to do the same with my children. I have done the same. I want to continue....and I want to be aware of GRACE and not only peace.....

DeEtta @ Courageous Joy said...

**4. The Bible makes it clear that we are to discipline and correct our children when they do wrong. How do you do this faithfully while still giving them the gift of grace?**

Could it be that our view of "discipline" is warped? Maybe even our view of grace?

I can discipline (train, mentor, correct) without having to be stern and harsh....and grace doesn't mean simply ignoring an offense, does it? Wouldn't it be hmm...being sure the child is aware of my favor in his life, enabling my child to succeed in the things I call him to.....

Lisa in Jax said...

1.Very good words De'Etta. I definitely see areas to improve in on my part.LOL

2. Looking past their faults and encouraging them. Not getting after them for EVERYTHING that they do.LOL

3. He felt that they were young Christians and that they would need baby steps to become "adults" in Christ. Jesus wants us to set our eyes on Him and not on our failures. He wants us to look towards our children's future and not on things that they do now.

4. Forgive them when they do wrong, help them to accomplish those things that they need to do over again, help them to set things right when they have done wrong.

5. O.k. most of them can talk all the time and I need quiet sometimes.LOL One of them really only likes to talk about things I don't understand, I need to work on listening even when I don't want to know how Nuclear Power plants work.LOL

Whining. Ugh. I need to look past this and work on giving more positive attention in hopes that this will go away.LOL

A non-listener.LOL I need to focus on this child's strenths and spend time doing those things that would help this one to manage the impulses that come up in life.lol