Thursday, November 09, 2023

Mourning & Thankful Thoughts

Just spent time shoveling our deck. Remembering all the magical fantastic times we have had in this backyard. Bridal showers, water fights, fishing net repair, t ball, kick ball, bocce, bbqs, tea parties, snow paths, sledding, Josiah and Carrie's wedding, fireworks on NYE...and the tears fell while the snow flew.

For the first time EVER, I do not want to put up Christmas decor.
I don't want to take down fall decor.
Taking down fall means admitting we are moving into a new season.
I don't want to move into a new season without Josiah.
I loved the season we were enjoying.
I know I will eventually move into the new season because this is a familiar theme in a *TCK life.... transitioning from season to season.
TCKs learn early to say goodbye quick and don't look back until the pain lessens.
Somehow, I know on a soul level this is not the best way to handle this goodbye.
For today, I choose to live fully present with the pain. Of now.
It will get better.
*TCK - third culture kid aka military brats, missionary kids, diplomats' kids...

Today I am thankful for
1. Friends who searched, bought, and carried Pumpkin spice English muffins to us in their suitcase.
2. Jamin arranged snow plowing for us this winter...and what a wild first experience it was. The snowplow got stuck in our driveway. We were so thankful to spend an hour rather than 5 on snow.
3. Watched a show for the first time since the violence, death, crime or sad themes...a Hallmark Christmas movie.
4. Tamales from Yadira's mom!
5. A loving community.
6. A God who is near and understands what others cannot.
7. Carrie sharing the sweet photo of Josiah feeling Josi move. It's a treasure.
Photo by Livie

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