Friday, May 08, 2009

Moving Moment

moving project

"Leaving behind a broken rocking chair in which the first-born was soothed to sleep, a piano around which there was caroling at Christmas, a rusty tricycle- whatever embodies special memories and experiences - can feel like an amputation. It is the loss of a segment of family continuity, of personal history, the loss of a fragment of self." Audrey McCollum, The Trauma of Moving - as quoted in After the Boxes are Unpacked by Susan Miller, founder of Just Moved Ministries.

Last Saturday I removed all the family photos from our hallway. I plan to put the photos in an album as I'm sure we'll have less wall space in Japan. I hope to get some family pictures taken during grad weekend and make some sort of collage/setting for our new wall but not individual 11 x 14's of each child, girls photo, boys photo, family photo, Townsend photo, Goecker get the idea. ::snort::

All that is left in the hallway - and I think I will find a place to hang these in the new home - are our wedding vows, our oneness contract, and a photo I couldn't bring myself to remove - yet.

Choosing Joy!
©2009 D.R.G.

~ Coram Deo ~
Living all of life before the face of God...


Cynthia said...

I'm sure this move is difficult on so many levels. Hang in there!

Romany said...

An amputation. Yes, that is precisely how it feels.

But it is also amazing how quickly those things heal when we get stuck into the new life. I think it's so important to hold on to that vision of how life will be again.

After many big moves (RAF childhood and very mobile adult life) my experience is that it's far harder to be left behind than it is to leave. So, I'm praying especially for your friends and sons.

Windy came for a brief visit today.{g} Trying not to think about our Goodbyes just yet.

DeEtta @ Courageous Joy said...

It is certainly harder to be the one left behind...or maybe the better way to express it is that it is harder in different ways.

I know that we will have the adventure of new sites, new people, new activities....and that will all help....

I'm not trying to be morbid here with the goodbyes but I've spent 45 years denying the goodbye and focusing on the hello - this is better for the children if I admit that it is painful for them...instead of being Mary Poppins and trying to avert their attention. We all do better if we deal with it and then move on....its another one of those balance things, isn't it? I appreciate being able to talk it out here amongst friends...and quite a few lurkers. ::snort::

DeEtta @ Courageous Joy said...

BTW - lurkers are not bad - simply that I know there are many who read and don't comment. Didn't want anyone to feel unwelcome or that I considered them to be a stalker. ::snort::

Romany said...

Oh my goodness, DeEtta, I was not suggesting that you deny the children's experiences of leaving being painful. Or of doing a Mary Poppins. Actually my comments were not referring to the children at all! (Though I don't remember moving frequently as a child being painful at all. I loved it!)

I was just trying to offer *you* the hope of holding on to the vision that it will get less painful.

I just wish someone had reminded me of that hope and vision when I was wrenching myself away from Canada. I'll shut up now.

DeEtta @ Courageous Joy said...

{{Dorothy}} I didn't take your comment that way....I was reflecting. In the past when the kids would say they didn't want to move or voice a negative in leaving I would focus only on the positive....rush over their feelings and mine...that's how I coped with so many moves.

I read your comment and AGREED with it - we are VERY excited about this move...but in the past that is ALL I focused on....and so my comment was my reflection and not directed at you at all.

I've been striving to find the balance of embracing the hard part of saying goodbye and at the same time embracing the hello (we've started learning Japanese, made connections with some in Misawa, made our lapbook, researched the area....).

We are all very aware of the hard parts as one in our house isn't moving with us and is a reminder that he won't see the things we discuss etc....even when he plays along.....

All those are thoughts I reflect on quite a bit and so I reflected in the comment section but not really thinking you'd take it as a direct response to anything you had fact I had to go back to see what you and I had said. ::snort::

No need to shut up....I enjoy your comments. LOL

DeEtta @ Courageous Joy said...

I've also been pondering why, as Dorothy pointed out, those wounds heal so quickly for some and seem to linger for others.....I'm wondering if it comes down to the cherish/cling thing.....because I've not had the hard time I see some spouses and children have...but I've noticed in our children that some bounce back immediately and some take more brother and I were like that too...very different in the length of time it took us to adjust to moves....

Then again it took me a good 6 months to feel at home I suppose each move and life seasons are different. This season was hard due to change in our family and not really me personally or the location of the move.

Just pondering.