Grief Finds a Home

Today, Michael and I did something we never imagined we would be doing. We met with Carrie at a local cemetery to pick out a plot for our son and her husband, Josiah.  We knew we wanted to try to get this done before winter comes again. Josiah loved Pioneer Peak. We selected a spot with a beautiful view of not only Pioneer Peak but Mat Peak and The Butte as well - all spots with fond memories. 

Below is Mat Peak. We live at the trailhead to this peak...we have fun memories of Josiah, Jamin and Jared setting out to hike Hatchers Pass, getting lost, and ending up hiking Mat Peak then stopping to laugh with us about it. LOL 

The taller mountain in the background below is Pioneer Peak and The Butte - a popular hike - is the smaller mountain to the right. 

What can I say? It's surreal to pick out space in a cemetery for your child. We never imagined a scenario where we would be doing this.  However, we all decided it was important to have a place to go, a place to sit and remember and feel connected...and yes, we all do all that every day, but this brought a measure of peace. 

We thought we'd be able to order a headstone here but ended up needing to drive to South Anchorage to take care of that. We'd all planned the day for this and so we decided to just drive to Anchorage and get it all ordered and on its way. Again, we're hoping and praying this can be done before winter sets in. 

Stacia had stayed with the girls and GG at home. She agreed to come to Carrie's and stay with them all while Mike, Carrie and I went to Anchorage.  We are really happy with the choices made...we wanted to honor Josiah and capture who he was and what he gave his life for...I think we did. It's easy when everyone is on the same page.

There were tears. There was laughter and jokes.  While we were gone, Stacia and Livie had worked on cupcakes.  They were in honor of Josiah. Liv picked out some of his favorite things - fish, ice cream - and they made little molded chocolates to top the cupcakes. They were in the middle of their project when we showed up and announced their move to Eagle River and ours to south Anchorage. LOL 

Better even than cupcakes is this video Stacia captured of Josi out and out giggling. She said this is the end of the session and she was really belly laughing earlier before she thought to turn on her camera. 

This is how our days go... the sad mixed with joy...grief and celebration...I still find myself resisting grief, sadness, tears, pain...and yet I know it's right to feel each emotion fully. It's a struggle to stay present and there are many times when I distract myself to get things done...but today...it was good for the three of us to walk this out together. 

I am thankful to Kim for taking over my Wholesome Food Co-op role today so I could get this done. I'm grateful Linda picked up my fruit and brought it home. I appreciate Stacia watching the girls and GG.  I'm so thankful for our sweet daughter-in-law and the way she allowed us to walk this out with her. Josiah couldn't have picked better.