Surrogate Mothering....

BUT I already HAVE a houseful of children to mother!!!

OK - now that that is off my chest.... I made a CONSCIOUS choice 2 years ago to leave many of my leadership/mentoring/ministry roles behind. I had become over-involved with ministry outside of my home and needed to focus on my children. Yes, I teach a small study now...but I WAS teaching 3 - 4 studies a week for quite a bit of time. I've carefully evaluated each activity to come our way. I've made sure it won't interfere with school, it is something that will benefit my children, and that there is TIME to become involved. I've been quite content to put most of my focus on the ministry of mothering.....and I sense that God has been pleased with this as well. Sometimes, the children wish I'd get out a bit more. ::snort:: Sometimes, Mike misses me being a very active helpmate in the chapel...but all in all it's been good. I've been focusing on mothering MY children!

I'm finding more and more, as my children interact with their generation, that there are peers of theirs who are looking for a mother figure. I've thought about it. I've failed to do much. I was asked by one of my daughters if I'd sort of adopt one of her friends....I never lived in the same town, I didn't really know her, I've prayed, but it has been easy to let it slide....I'm busy with a new baby (now 20 months old)....this amazing young woman who has tenaciously followed Christ to Guam deserves a Christian Mom who will not only pray for her, but take an interest in her life.

We've had a student attending Bible Study. She's had some rough times. I've stayed late and visited. I've given her rides. I've prayed. I haven't had her over. I haven't called her as often as I should. It's so hard to tell which students are wanting mothering and which are enjoying their first taste of independence. Anyway, this dear young woman has run into some hard times. She's leaving our base as of Friday. She's sad, hurt, disgruntled. She talked tonight about how hard this has been for her. We didn't realize her mother had died 3 years ago. She said, "I have no one to call and I only want to discuss this with my Mom." She said several times, "I need a surrogate mother. I know I'm 26, but I miss her and I need a mother figure." So...what am I going to do? I'm going to do what others have done for my baby girls as they left home and moved into the world in WA. I'm going to mother this young woman. I'm going to remember how very much her own mother loved her and how very much I would want others to mother my babies if I were not here. I know she's leaving our base, but you can be sure I'll keep in touch. I'll have her luggage so surely, she'll get in touch with me?????

I know I'm tired. I know I have a full ministry here with my very own children...but I can't turn a deaf ear to this huge need that I see over and over in young women of this generation. They need to experience a mother's love.....Can we doubt that the "simple" act of mothering is in fact a ministry to our children....and quit easily to their generation???? I've always felt that my passion was to mentor other women....increasingly however, I find YOUNG women being attracted to me...just as I enter decrepitude (right there with you Dorothy!). I'm really surprised...because you know I AM old...and old fashioned and PECULIAR. It's hard to say what's on my heart. I guess I'm realizing that I need to continue my focus on my children...but I need to be willing to also look beyond my boundaries and see who else God is placing in my life that really needs the loving touch of a mother. Not in any way to take away from my mothering of my children - I've been there and I'm pretty aware of situations that are going to have a negative impact on the mentoring that I must do at home. Obviously, if I expend all my energy mentoring women and other young women and neglect my OWN children...I've failed.

I think I'm leaning towards reading "The Ministry of Motherhood" for our first book discussion.... LOL

Upcoming Book Discussion

I mentioned hosting a book discussion earlier. After reading the Trivium and trying to find someone to discuss the book, I think I'm going to follow through on this idea. LOL I'm looking for some input. Which would be preferable for a book discussion? Using the chat box and having a "live" chat on the book? Having blog entries with comments? Pros: Chat - more give and take in a discussion; Blog entries - more opportunity to comment as schedules permit, record that can be saved and revisited.

I'm considering either *Heartfelt Discipline: The Gentle Art of Training and Guiding Your Child* by Clay Clarkson, or *The Ministry of Motherhood: Following Christ's Example in Reaching the Hearts of our Children* by Sally Clarkson. Both are on my Spring Reading Thing list. Clay and Sally are homeschool parents, but the books that I've bought from them before speak to all parents, regardless of their educational choices. You can read more bout the Clarksons at Whole Heart Ministries. Oooo, Sally has a new book out called *The Mom Walk*....I really do need to read these two so I can buy more. ::snort::

Opinions anyone?

Pregnancy Tidbits

Tricia informed me today that she's been praying I'd be sick enough to be reassured but not incapacitated. You gotta love a friend like that. ::snort:: Her prayers work...as do many of yours from what I'm hearing. Seriously, thanks for your prayers.

Yes, more nausea.

Worked out today. They rechecked all the books and the key is that my heart is not to go over 140 max....and that is 23 heartbeats in 10 seconds....that is about 75% of my max and I can keep it THERE much easier than at 50%. ::snort::

I am still dizzy more than I would like to be, but I've not had those near fainting or fainting episodes for a week.

I found the "mother of all baby name books" on our shelves. I knew we had to have one that wasn't worn out. ::snort:: They still don't have the name I compiled from my grandmothers' names. That's o.k. I still have quite a bit of convincing to do before Mike will go for it. AND this one is being born in "boy season" but still I suspect a girl...but will say "boy" to keep the peace around here.

The Week is OFF and RUNNING...

Mike left this a.m. for a week's TDY (temporary duty). Zander didn't realize he was gone until bed time when he said, "Isn't my Dad coming home tonight?"

Josiah and I spent time obsessing over the slide show. It has to be in Powerpoint. We got the slides going but couldn't get the music to embed. Tricia had the same problem last year and had instructions for us. He got it to work on the jump drive. We can't get it to work if we save it to a hard drive, and we can't make a disc...but it's there.

I went to a meeting today about fund raising for World View Academy. We're considering this for Jamin and Jared in the fall. Has anyone else had student's attend this? They have a week long homeschool camp in the fall. Heather - I need to catch you to talk about this.

I already wrote about school.

Tonight was Shop Natural co-op. It was an easy night...small night. Always fun to visit with folks.

I have some GREAT photos from the day, but I can't get any of the card readers to work...Mike is gone again...you KNOW what that means!

SCHOOL TODAY

Math - Nolan needed some review and so I had him watch lesson 8 again. He then did a worksheet. I told Arielle to do math for 15 minutes and she finished 4 worksheets. I think she'll whiz through this level fairly quickly. Jared took a test and aced it....He'll move quickly too. Maybe he'll be back in pre-algebra by next fall or winter - which is where he would have been in Saxon next year.

TOG - We're all on DIFFERENT levels. Jamin has stayed the course. He's taking the most credits, doing Chemistry and Alg 2....in other words he's had a tough schedule and he's where he should be considering we didn't begin school until the end of September. I don't regret spending those weeks with Mike and the girls before they flew the nest. Josiah doubled up quite a bit because he wants to finish his school in May even though we started in September. He hasn't needed any credits for two years but opted to do TOG Year 4 history and literature anyway. Easy to double up. Jared worked quite hard and doubled everything for over a month. The littles and I? Well.....we hit a spell where there doesn't seem to be much assigned for the younger set...we did 3 weeks today. ::snort:: I do want to go find a book on the challenger....

I WAS appalled when our DK president book ended their rather wimpy section on President Regan with this quote, "Nevertheless, Regan was popular with the voters". I set the record straight....

Phonics - STILL can't find that Raceway book...and I don't want to buy a 3rd book but I will....well Nolan will buy this one. He knows where his school books are to be kept...and I didn't move it.

Science - We finished our dragonfly book from the library. WOW....amazing photos.

READ ALOUDS We kept reading "The mixed up files of whoever she is" and I finally "gave in" to the kids' pleas to read pilgrims progress...I "planted" this book in January and waited for them to want to read it. ::snort::

ART - The three youngers cut up cardboard, reassembled it, painted it and made....are you ready a house for Barbies and Dinosaurs. I'm not sure I'd picture the two together, myself.

Book Review *Teaching the Trivium* by Harvie and Laurie Bluedorn.

I have a friend that attended a seminar where the Bluedorns spoke. She recommended this book over 6 years ago. I really had little interest in Classical Eduation and so sort of put the idea on the back burner. Someone told me that the curriculum we use, Tapestry of Grace is classical. She was surprised that I was a "classical educator". I began to hear this more and more. I was aghast. Me? Nope. I'm a fun-schooler or a Charlotte Mason educator....I kept hearing that TOG was like "Teaching the Trivium" so I finally began to read this book.

I've been trying to read this book for over a year. I decided last week that I WOULD finish this book before I read another one. I determined not to mark the book. A used book sale is coming up this weekend and I'd resell it. A while back I wrote an entry on my propensity to mark books. Tonight, I went back and reread that entry and the article by Mortimer J Adlerabout how to mark a book. I feel a bit better about what happened.

In a fit of "interaction" I began to mark this book quite liberally. First, I found things I liked. Then, I found things with which I intensely disagree. I found things that simply weren't logical to me (which was supremely ironic considering Bluedorns write some really great logic materials). I wanted to unreservedly LOVE this book. I don't.

I DID find things that encouraged me and with which I wholeheartedly agreed. I also found things with which I vehemently disagree. It did cause me to think. It did allow me to interact with some of the true greats in the homeschooling movement. I found myself today trying to find someone who had read the book to discuss some of these issues....I've decided not even to begin listing what I liked and didn't like...it would be far too long of a post as there are lots of both.

I think this book falls into my "chew the meat and spit out the bones" category. ::snort:: Alas, this book is now so thoroughly marked that it will never be sold or given away. I simply couldn't stop myself...and it was a fun read in the end.

NEW ARTICLE

Josiah drew my attention to this article. Continue to pray for Iraq and her citizens.

In this story gunmen stopped a bus and told all the Christians to get off the bus. Some did. Then they killed everyone still ON the bus. Pray for our troops (US and allied), world leaders, Iraqi leaders, troops and citizens.....I believe it honors God for us to not simply read the news but pray through the news.