FRIENDSHIP IN PROVERBS 23
Today's Proverb is full of more characteristics to search for in a friend - and to pray for in myself. Again, I believe that we can be "friendly" with folks who have these characteristics....but that they should not be my most intimate friends. I'm still not sure that these are commands that MUST be obeyed at all costs...but they are certainly wise and I see the benefits of following them....and the character traits mentioned are surely ones that will result as I surrender daily and walk by the Spirit.
23:6 - 8 Do not eat the bread of a selfish man, or desire his delicacies for as he thinks within himself so he is. He says to you, eat and drink, but his heart is not with you.You will vomit up the morsel you have eaten, and waste your compliments.
23: 9 Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, he will despise the wisdom of your words.
I must be careful that *I* do not despise the wise words that others share with me.
23:20 Do not be with heavy drinkers of wine or with gluttonous eater of meat
(Note no where in the original Hebrew does it mention CHOCOLATE!) ::snort::
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Friendship in Proverbs 22
22:11 He who loves purity of heart and whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend.
Solomon (I'm assuming) looks for those who are gracious and pure of heart in order to form relationships. I must too. I must also surrender to the work of Christ to become this type of person.
22:11 He who loves purity of heart and whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend.
Solomon (I'm assuming) looks for those who are gracious and pure of heart in order to form relationships. I must too. I must also surrender to the work of Christ to become this type of person.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Friendship in Proverbs 20 revisited
I've had a bit of time to dig out the gems in this verse. I'm glad I took the time to do so - it answered many of my questions . Before, I dig into this more I want to share, without giving specifics that God's timing for calling my attention to this verse was amazing. My questions stem from a personal situation but one that I am sure does not involve anyone who I know reads my blog. How's that? I don't want anyone wondering if things they've said to me are bothering me - I'm an upfront person. I've been known to tell friends "I think our friendship is too gossipy - forgive me - we need to clean it up." If I thought our friendship was in this realm - I would say something privately to you.
As a counselor of women and as a pastor's wife there are times when folks share confidences with me - I don't consider that gossip. I don't know that I've ever said, "You are so right - give me the dirt". KWIM? AND I don't spread the intimacies shared with me....but I've said for a long time that "gossip" is the "disease of those in ministry" and so I guard against it carefully. This verse SMACKED me and raised questions. It HIT me because I don't want to be a person that goes around slandering - and I don't want to have friends that are slandererous either. That said - WHAT exactly does the Scripture consider to be slander? I know what is LEGAL SLANDER but that doesn't apply here. What does GOD consider slander?
20:19 He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip. NASB
"He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips." KJV
Word Studies
talebearer/slanderer
Strongs # 7400
Blue Letter Bible: slanderer, informer, to go about for the sake of slandering (hate it when the word is used to define the word - don't you?) ::snort::
Dr. Zodhiates: always negative, spreading rumors or falsities about someone
revealing things that should not be made public
TWOT #2165B (Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament)- says same
Conclusion: this is a person who goes around telling tales out of school - maybe they are true - but they shouldn't be made public - this person is described further....He reveals secrets.
REVEALS -
Strongs 1540 - uncover, remove, expose, disclose
SECRETS
Strongs # - 5475
Blue Letter Bible (Strongs) - secret counsel, as reclining at a couch and sharing intimate, familiar discourse
Dr. Z - Confidentiality is at the heart of the term.
~information shared in confidence should remain confidential (Pr 25:9)
~suggests the idea of intimate counsel
~in a negative sense would denote evil plotting
TWOT #1471 A - this is confidential counsel vs general counsel
~indicates a circle of trusted intimates who give their advice.
This is COOL, are your ready?
~a wise and upright man who walks in the fear of the Lord will have God's secret counsel (Ps 25:14, Pr 3:32, Amos 3:7)
Conclusion: A slanderer is one who reveals (uncovers) INTIMATE CONFIDENCES - he is one who breaks an expected trust of intimacy. A pastor/counselor is Biblically slandering if they break the expectations of confidentiality and share intimacies that have been shared with them. I'm sure there are exceptions - but as a rule this conduct would rise to the Biblical use of the word.
We become slanderers when we share intimate confidences with others that have been entrustedto us. It seems to me that this is a significant betrayal of trust.
Meddle Not/ Don't Associate
I checked Not means Not or don't....we'll leave that word. LOL
Strongs # 6148
Blue Letter Bible - Strongs - take on a pledge, mingle, occupy
Dr. Z - exchange, take a pledge, give a pledge, mortgage, taking possession of exchanged material, implied sharing or associating at a meaningful level, conveys the idea of engagement.
TWOT - #1686 Word usage in OT
1. barter, exchange
2. pledge, mortgage
3. become surety or bail for
Homonyms - associate with, intermix, meddle
Conclusion: Associate - is a deeper relationship than simply hanging around with someone. It speaks of "intermingling", of becoming a surety for the person.....it's "sharing at a meaningful level". So - I should not have this level of relationship with someone who goes around breaking the intimate confidences of others. If I know that someone makes this a practice - I should establish boundaries to ensure that I can speak into this person's life but NOT become victim to this person. This verse doesn't mean that I can't say Hello or go to lunch with any person that has ever gossipped.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER: He who goes about spreading rumors and revealing things that should not be public reveals intimate confidences, therefore don't share a meaningful relationship with a person who gossips.
There is still room for relationships because we are to be salt, light, and mentor each other....
This definition of "slander" is tougher than the legal definition....this is helping me sort through that situation I illuded to earlier....I thought one party may be slandering another...but now I clearly see that the first party was biblically slandering and maybe the second party isn't. I also see that this is not saying that all level of relationship with a known slanderer is to be cut off.
I've had a bit of time to dig out the gems in this verse. I'm glad I took the time to do so - it answered many of my questions . Before, I dig into this more I want to share, without giving specifics that God's timing for calling my attention to this verse was amazing. My questions stem from a personal situation but one that I am sure does not involve anyone who I know reads my blog. How's that? I don't want anyone wondering if things they've said to me are bothering me - I'm an upfront person. I've been known to tell friends "I think our friendship is too gossipy - forgive me - we need to clean it up." If I thought our friendship was in this realm - I would say something privately to you.
As a counselor of women and as a pastor's wife there are times when folks share confidences with me - I don't consider that gossip. I don't know that I've ever said, "You are so right - give me the dirt". KWIM? AND I don't spread the intimacies shared with me....but I've said for a long time that "gossip" is the "disease of those in ministry" and so I guard against it carefully. This verse SMACKED me and raised questions. It HIT me because I don't want to be a person that goes around slandering - and I don't want to have friends that are slandererous either. That said - WHAT exactly does the Scripture consider to be slander? I know what is LEGAL SLANDER but that doesn't apply here. What does GOD consider slander?
20:19 He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip. NASB
"He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips." KJV
Word Studies
talebearer/slanderer
Strongs # 7400
Blue Letter Bible: slanderer, informer, to go about for the sake of slandering (hate it when the word is used to define the word - don't you?) ::snort::
Dr. Zodhiates: always negative, spreading rumors or falsities about someone
revealing things that should not be made public
TWOT #2165B (Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament)- says same
Conclusion: this is a person who goes around telling tales out of school - maybe they are true - but they shouldn't be made public - this person is described further....He reveals secrets.
REVEALS -
Strongs 1540 - uncover, remove, expose, disclose
SECRETS
Strongs # - 5475
Blue Letter Bible (Strongs) - secret counsel, as reclining at a couch and sharing intimate, familiar discourse
Dr. Z - Confidentiality is at the heart of the term.
~information shared in confidence should remain confidential (Pr 25:9)
~suggests the idea of intimate counsel
~in a negative sense would denote evil plotting
TWOT #1471 A - this is confidential counsel vs general counsel
~indicates a circle of trusted intimates who give their advice.
This is COOL, are your ready?
~a wise and upright man who walks in the fear of the Lord will have God's secret counsel (Ps 25:14, Pr 3:32, Amos 3:7)
Conclusion: A slanderer is one who reveals (uncovers) INTIMATE CONFIDENCES - he is one who breaks an expected trust of intimacy. A pastor/counselor is Biblically slandering if they break the expectations of confidentiality and share intimacies that have been shared with them. I'm sure there are exceptions - but as a rule this conduct would rise to the Biblical use of the word.
We become slanderers when we share intimate confidences with others that have been entrustedto us. It seems to me that this is a significant betrayal of trust.
Meddle Not/ Don't Associate
I checked Not means Not or don't....we'll leave that word. LOL
Strongs # 6148
Blue Letter Bible - Strongs - take on a pledge, mingle, occupy
Dr. Z - exchange, take a pledge, give a pledge, mortgage, taking possession of exchanged material, implied sharing or associating at a meaningful level, conveys the idea of engagement.
TWOT - #1686 Word usage in OT
1. barter, exchange
2. pledge, mortgage
3. become surety or bail for
Homonyms - associate with, intermix, meddle
Conclusion: Associate - is a deeper relationship than simply hanging around with someone. It speaks of "intermingling", of becoming a surety for the person.....it's "sharing at a meaningful level". So - I should not have this level of relationship with someone who goes around breaking the intimate confidences of others. If I know that someone makes this a practice - I should establish boundaries to ensure that I can speak into this person's life but NOT become victim to this person. This verse doesn't mean that I can't say Hello or go to lunch with any person that has ever gossipped.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER: He who goes about spreading rumors and revealing things that should not be public reveals intimate confidences, therefore don't share a meaningful relationship with a person who gossips.
There is still room for relationships because we are to be salt, light, and mentor each other....
This definition of "slander" is tougher than the legal definition....this is helping me sort through that situation I illuded to earlier....I thought one party may be slandering another...but now I clearly see that the first party was biblically slandering and maybe the second party isn't. I also see that this is not saying that all level of relationship with a known slanderer is to be cut off.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Terrific Tuesday
Quote of the Day: "If a man wants to leave tracks, everyone should let him!" Amen! I pray that all my children are track leavers. LOL
45 minutes of Step Video.
Friend, Kim, dropped by with the completer set of MUS. We had a nice visit. She had even asked them why I had a RED "ones" counter in my starter set. I had joked that it must be like the golden ticket of Willy Wonka's. No such luck. Ah well - I had dreams.
Fielded several phone calls.
Began co-op order.
Had a fun talk with Krista.
Took the children and Emma, Arielle's friend, to the Rec pool. It was EMPTY and then was VERY FULL! This is a different year than last...duh. ::snort:: Last year Zander and Stacia pretty much stayed in the kiddie pool and I could sit on the side and visit with friends or read. THIS year Zander has learned to swim underwater, is more daring, and has taught himself to dive. We have no idea how - but he did - and he has perfect form. The problem is that we've had a hard time convincing him it is DANGEROUS to dive in 3 ft of water. Yesterday he had a reality check and I'm still praising God that His hand was on Zander and it wasn't more serious. He dove in....while I was trying to keep Stacia from falling out of the big life vests. The China Beach pool, devoted to LITTLE kids, has closed. This means, evidently, that they took all the little life vests and put them up for a season. ::snort:: I need to go buy a small one or not go to the pool without another adult in the water. It was too hard to watch Zander and Stacia if she isn't in a vest. She, of course, thought she could jump in, paddle etc as she does with a vest. ::snort:: Back to Zander.....while my attention was turned to Stacia, I was RIGHT THERE, he dove in. He hit the bottom of the pool with his face. He had/has? a bump on his forehead and a big scrape on his nose. He was shaken but not permanently injured. No more diving....he moved to new tricks - flips into the pool (also a no-no at this pool) and standing on his head and waggling his legs....cute trick.
Dinner was baked penne by request of Jamin. Jamin was HOME for dinner and so was Mike. Yippee.
I think that sums up the day.
Quote of the Day: "If a man wants to leave tracks, everyone should let him!" Amen! I pray that all my children are track leavers. LOL
45 minutes of Step Video.
Friend, Kim, dropped by with the completer set of MUS. We had a nice visit. She had even asked them why I had a RED "ones" counter in my starter set. I had joked that it must be like the golden ticket of Willy Wonka's. No such luck. Ah well - I had dreams.
Fielded several phone calls.
Began co-op order.
Had a fun talk with Krista.
Took the children and Emma, Arielle's friend, to the Rec pool. It was EMPTY and then was VERY FULL! This is a different year than last...duh. ::snort:: Last year Zander and Stacia pretty much stayed in the kiddie pool and I could sit on the side and visit with friends or read. THIS year Zander has learned to swim underwater, is more daring, and has taught himself to dive. We have no idea how - but he did - and he has perfect form. The problem is that we've had a hard time convincing him it is DANGEROUS to dive in 3 ft of water. Yesterday he had a reality check and I'm still praising God that His hand was on Zander and it wasn't more serious. He dove in....while I was trying to keep Stacia from falling out of the big life vests. The China Beach pool, devoted to LITTLE kids, has closed. This means, evidently, that they took all the little life vests and put them up for a season. ::snort:: I need to go buy a small one or not go to the pool without another adult in the water. It was too hard to watch Zander and Stacia if she isn't in a vest. She, of course, thought she could jump in, paddle etc as she does with a vest. ::snort:: Back to Zander.....while my attention was turned to Stacia, I was RIGHT THERE, he dove in. He hit the bottom of the pool with his face. He had/has? a bump on his forehead and a big scrape on his nose. He was shaken but not permanently injured. No more diving....he moved to new tricks - flips into the pool (also a no-no at this pool) and standing on his head and waggling his legs....cute trick.
Dinner was baked penne by request of Jamin. Jamin was HOME for dinner and so was Mike. Yippee.
I think that sums up the day.
Friendship in Proverbs 20
First, a thought. When approaching any study of Scripture we need to keep an open heart to change required in our lives. If studying the Word doesn't cause me to know God deeper, to be transformed a bit more into Christ's image...then it's simply an intellectual exercise. I do not believe that is what God had in mind when He told us to meditate on his word, to look into the perfect law of liberty....
In studying what to look for in friends I've become acutely aware of the type of friend I need to be to others....and I've been challenged and convicted and changed.
20:3 - Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, But any fool will quarrel."
I need to beware of being quarrelsome. This is difficult for a talker...and I've often had to apologize to my family, to my friends in real life, on SHS and probably even on this blog. I try.
I need to beware of quarrelsome friends. The Word says they are foolish.
20:7 - A righteous man who walks in his integrity - how blessed are his sons after him.
I will look for righteous friends who walk with integrity - and I will continue to strive to walk in integrity....and to daily throw myself on His grace which allows me to be clothed in His righteousness.
20:19 He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip.
Youch - this one appears clear.....but I DO have questions. What exactly does the Word mean when it says slander? Is it different than what our culture considers to be slander? What about secrets? What about associating? Does this mean NO FELLOWSHIP? How can I be salt and light to a friend who struggles with these sins if I have nothing to do with them? Does the word associate maybe mean a deep friendship and a mentoring or acquaintance type friendship would be ok? Remembering that Proverbs is not a doctrinal book but a book of wise maxims, I know that this may not be a COMMAND that I HAVE to follow but rather a wise principle that a wise person would follow? It certainly is for my GOOD to avoid someone who slanders, gossips and reveals secrets of others. Yes - I need to do more study. I've begun word studies and will share more on this as I flesh it all out. If you've prayed about this or studied this verse and have some insights you'd like to share - feel free to comment.
*Yep, I decided to just jump in and not try to "catch up" from the first.
First, a thought. When approaching any study of Scripture we need to keep an open heart to change required in our lives. If studying the Word doesn't cause me to know God deeper, to be transformed a bit more into Christ's image...then it's simply an intellectual exercise. I do not believe that is what God had in mind when He told us to meditate on his word, to look into the perfect law of liberty....
In studying what to look for in friends I've become acutely aware of the type of friend I need to be to others....and I've been challenged and convicted and changed.
20:3 - Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, But any fool will quarrel."
I need to beware of being quarrelsome. This is difficult for a talker...and I've often had to apologize to my family, to my friends in real life, on SHS and probably even on this blog. I try.
I need to beware of quarrelsome friends. The Word says they are foolish.
20:7 - A righteous man who walks in his integrity - how blessed are his sons after him.
I will look for righteous friends who walk with integrity - and I will continue to strive to walk in integrity....and to daily throw myself on His grace which allows me to be clothed in His righteousness.
20:19 He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip.
Youch - this one appears clear.....but I DO have questions. What exactly does the Word mean when it says slander? Is it different than what our culture considers to be slander? What about secrets? What about associating? Does this mean NO FELLOWSHIP? How can I be salt and light to a friend who struggles with these sins if I have nothing to do with them? Does the word associate maybe mean a deep friendship and a mentoring or acquaintance type friendship would be ok? Remembering that Proverbs is not a doctrinal book but a book of wise maxims, I know that this may not be a COMMAND that I HAVE to follow but rather a wise principle that a wise person would follow? It certainly is for my GOOD to avoid someone who slanders, gossips and reveals secrets of others. Yes - I need to do more study. I've begun word studies and will share more on this as I flesh it all out. If you've prayed about this or studied this verse and have some insights you'd like to share - feel free to comment.
*Yep, I decided to just jump in and not try to "catch up" from the first.
Friendship in Proverbs
I'm doing it again! I love to read through the book of proverbs month by month. I often look for one word or one theme and mark it, take notes etc. Any verse can speak to me, but I find that looking for a specific theme does help me to keep my mind from wandering.
For general background info on Proverbs you can read this post, which contains thoughts I shared when beginning to study "Parenting in Proverbs".
I'm going to be leading a six week study on Friendship starting 4 Sept. I've been doing a lot of thinking and thought I'd share. I have a heart for relationships and found that I really NEEDED this focus in my personal life.....maybe someone else will appreciate it too. A people person sometimes struggles to find a balance in relationships. Are friendships expected to be forever? What do you do if a friendship seems to dissolve? How do you make friends when those around seem not to need new friends? How do you know when it is safe to share your heart? What should I look for in friendships? Are there different levels or types of friendships? These are things I've been pondering and I am curious to see what Proverbs (that book of wisdom) has to say on the topic.
Again this will be devotional - I'm not not looking for an in-depth topical study at this point. I reserve the right to dig into a specific verse at any time. ::snort:: I use the New American Standard Bible, published by The Lockman Foundation, in my devotional reading.
I only need to figure out if I should go back and try to catch up or just begin posting from here....stay tuned....I simply want to set some framework for daily posts you may begin to shortly see..... (no cutesy friendship graphic - maybe I'll have to go surfing soon. )::snort::
I'm doing it again! I love to read through the book of proverbs month by month. I often look for one word or one theme and mark it, take notes etc. Any verse can speak to me, but I find that looking for a specific theme does help me to keep my mind from wandering.
For general background info on Proverbs you can read this post, which contains thoughts I shared when beginning to study "Parenting in Proverbs".
I'm going to be leading a six week study on Friendship starting 4 Sept. I've been doing a lot of thinking and thought I'd share. I have a heart for relationships and found that I really NEEDED this focus in my personal life.....maybe someone else will appreciate it too. A people person sometimes struggles to find a balance in relationships. Are friendships expected to be forever? What do you do if a friendship seems to dissolve? How do you make friends when those around seem not to need new friends? How do you know when it is safe to share your heart? What should I look for in friendships? Are there different levels or types of friendships? These are things I've been pondering and I am curious to see what Proverbs (that book of wisdom) has to say on the topic.
Again this will be devotional - I'm not not looking for an in-depth topical study at this point. I reserve the right to dig into a specific verse at any time. ::snort:: I use the New American Standard Bible, published by The Lockman Foundation, in my devotional reading.
I only need to figure out if I should go back and try to catch up or just begin posting from here....stay tuned....I simply want to set some framework for daily posts you may begin to shortly see..... (no cutesy friendship graphic - maybe I'll have to go surfing soon. )::snort::
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