Making Sense of the Senseless

There are some things you simply never want to write. This blog post is one of them.

If you live in San Angelo you may have seen this months ago: B140596F — S N G and Josiah M G, filed Sept. 15

Today, the ugly reality of divorce entered our immediate family. Our son's sweet bride decided in late July she was done with marriage.  After months of praying for a change of heart, trying to reconcile, digging for some other reason and believing God would work a miracle - Josiah heard a judge end his marriage this morning.  He reports God's grace is overwhelming.

When we hear so and so's wife left him, we are quick to judge. This man must have "done something," "he must be a bad man,"  "I bet he leads a secret life," will run unbidden through our minds. This isn't always the case.  If something had been done, it would have been repented of and changed.  Over the months the consistent story has been she simply decided she is not the marrying kind. We ought not to judge what we can't possibly know.

We have watched. We have learned much. We watched our son receive counseling when his bride refused to talk to him or a counselor. We watched him lay his life down for a bride who didn't value the gift of his love and life. We saw him sacrifice to make her happy, and watched his pain when he was told all he had to offer wasn't enough.  We watched him faithfully love, when that love was no longer returned. We watched him lose all he had and not really care, if it might win his bride back.

And - I saw myself. How often have I rejected God's call to come and reason with Him? How often have I under-valued the gift of God's love and life?  How often have I caused God pain when His sacrifice isn't enough to please me? How often has God faithfully loved me even while I reject Him? He gave His all  - gladly - to win back His bride.

We're all broken. Some of us realize we're broken and fall on the grace of Jesus. I have no doubt Josiah's life is not over. God is not done with him. God hates divorce. We hate divorce. Josiah hates divorce. Life doesn't end because a bride chooses to file for divorce.  God  has a plan for Josiah and He will bring that plan to pass. Only God knows how to prosper him through this time of suffering - but God does have a good plan. God is faithful. God loves Josiah.

Son, you are not a bad man. God, Himself, understands faithfully loving a bride who doesn't return that love. We are proud of the man of God you are becoming. I believe you will one day be the family man and father you dream of being. We can see nothing else you could have done. You have followed the heart of God in the way you loved S. There really was nothing more you could do once she filed for divorce.

This is not a chapter Josiah would have written. It is a chapter we've prayed none of our kids would live through. It's where we are.  We had to explain to our 9 year old that, "Yes, you can decide not to be married. Just like that."  We had to tell her to quit wasting her texting minutes as the texts would never be answered.

We love you, S.  We accepted you  into our family. You chose to leave.  I choose to continue to love and pray for you daily. I realize I will probably never know how life turns out for you - but I simply choose not to turn love off and on.

I choose to love courageously.

A few months ago God began dealing with me about my anger at the way He seemed to be choosing to answer our prayers for BreZaak and JoBy.  The bottom line is this - I've grown most as a person, developed a deeper and more authentic relationship with  God, during the hard times. Much  more than during the good times. The same will be true of my children. This testing - surrendered to God - will lead to their refining and shining as pure gold.  He is answering the desire of my heart.

If you've read this far - we affirm marriage is precious. Marriage is meant to be for life.  Treat your covenant vows as a treasure - as something to be valued and cherished. You do not want to walk through this pain.

I'm sorry this isn't the typical Christmas post. It's real. It's authentic.

Note: I deliberately have chosen not to publish S's name to protect her privacy. She has removed herself from Facebook and other online forums. I have to assume she'd rather not be found by us or our friends. 

Josiah agreed I could write "something" so those who know and love us aren't left wondering....he has posted  on his Facebook page.

Choosing Joy!
©2014 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

Productive PJ Day

This was a pj day. It had to be. I had SO much to do that none of it would get done if I left the house.

We got school done.

The older kids had Japanese lessons.

Last night the kids tore into the tree and set it up. I was reminded, once again, I'm woefully behind on Stacia's ornaments. Each year, each child was to receive a photo ornament. At this point the only ornaments on our tree are THESE and special ones reminding us of special places. But evidently, we've only celebrated two Christmas' since Stacia's birth. Hmmmm.....


Stacia and Michael examine her lonely ornaments

 

 

It's a cute solo ornament!

Yes, the tree was done...but the living room looked like someone had dumped boxes and boxes of Christmas clutter in it.

The younger two finally found the traveling wise men. The oriental wise man whispered in my ear that he adores Jesus because Jesus always keeps His promises to us.

 

Stacia LOVES this nativity - and I'm glad she's still young enough to enjoy it.

The younger two and I spent a lot of time making order out of the Christmas Chaos in the living room. We put a few nativities out - will take a few to the chapel and - and packed away normal things to make room for Christmas things.

I also did some PWOC stuff and thought through what I'd like to share tomorrow at MTOC.

Stacia was excited and surprised to receive a package today! Thanks, Mandy. You made her day.

 Michael got home at almost the same time dinner was done.  We ate. We sang another hymn and read and discussed another passage. We found it ironic to be discussing Gen 2:21-25 this evening.

So thankful to be loved by a God who loves me when I'm unlovable. I adore a God who always keeps his covenant promises. He is faithful.

Choosing Joy!
©2014 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

Traveling Wise Men

Years before a naughty elf on a shelf was marketed, I heard of families with traveling wise men at their home during Advent. There has even been a book written which may be fun to use.  The basic idea is to be sure your children understand the role the wise men played in the Christmas story...then....

Plant the wise men and a note early in the Advent season and let them journey through until they find the newborn King - either on Christmas a.m. or on Epiphany (January 6th).

Like the elf, this tradition builds daily fun into your season. However, these travelers turn our focus to adoring Jesus each and every day.

After being reminded of this tradition on Facebook, I decided to use it this year. We missed all the elf fun as our children were older when he began making his big splash.....but I like how these wise men can help us start each day with a focus on adoring Jesus.

I wrote up a quick blurb.

I went to find our wise men....ours are going to be a bit harder for the kids to find this morning...they aren't nicely waiting at the Advent Wreath. They were still in boxes around the living room but I found a few! Yes, I do have a lot of nativities. I plan to display a couple and put the rest in the library at Far West. I also am planning to tell kids to take what they want as most of these will be given away rather than go to storage or Japan.

 

The kids buy me these pieces...but they're a bit big to be hiding....

 

These are a better size - from our very first nativity 30 years ago - but they're breakable

 

Here they ARE - the Fisher Price guys. Perfect....

We hide the little guys.

The kids find them.

One of the men whispers a reason to adore Jesus in my ear each morning (I tend to tie in with our Advent devotional from the night before).

I share that with the kids and we move on with the day.

For more Advent/Christmas fun check out our Advent Index.

Choosing Joy!
©2014 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

Singing in the Spirit

Woot! It's the first Sunday in Advent...and we are ON IT. 

Years ago, I created an index for "All Things Advent" - rather than writing about our traditions year after year.  I've not added to it in recent years - and our "Christmas" has changed again...but if you're looking for helpful tips you may want to check it out.  Be sure to check out the link to Stacia's Deployment Christmas Photos, our Family Photo Shoot of 2007 and the Daddy Bear links....some of my favorites. LOL  I'll leave the link at the top of the side bar through Advent.

Basically, we quit focusing on receiving gifts years ago. On their birthdays we celebrate the kids. We try to keep our focus on celebrating Jesus during this season. We focus on Advent. We  do NOT give gifts on the 25th. We have a great, big party for Jesus. Throughout the season, we prepare gifts for the party.  Christmas Shopping is about pigs, and wells and mosquito nets. We typically have a family gift exchange on 1 January - because we can't wait until 6 January  and because Michael has that time off and we are looking for fun things to do that night.  We do adjust as older kids come home, so we can have a family gift exchange whenever they land at home.

With all that said - we DO LOVE THE ADVENT SEASON! 

This is the devotional we plan to use this year. (We'd also like to run through Jotham's  Journey, but I'm not sure how it will fit).

This little book has daily devotional readings for each day of Advent and the twelve days of Epiphany. It incorporates both our Advent Wreath and Nativity. Each day has a Scripture reading, a "Think About It" section, a prayer focus and a hymn to sing.

I suspected this would be a bit of a challenge. The kids are old enough to work through a devotional, but the family sing-alongs might be a challenge.

Sure enough we loved the focus on the Promises of God. All the kids were able to share their insights. I especially loved when we all shared a promise from God that was specifically meaningful to us. As we  shared stories or verses from the Bible, one shared, "God has promised us we'll be going back to Japan. He's confirmed it." WOW....yes, He has....and it was good for us to hear this from our children tonight.

Then came the singing. We miss BreAnne - that girl can SANG! "What a Friend We Have In Jesus," never sounded this joyful before - I'm quite sure.  I was belting it out when Michael just couldn't handle it a MOMENT LONGER.....he tapped my leg and helpfully shared, "Hon - it's in a minor key."

To which I blissfully replied, "I'm just singing from my spirit, Michael."

"Well, sing from the spirit in a F minor."

And before I could reply, Arielle popped in with, "Let's all sing in the spirit. From your spirit now...."

We did have a great, rousing start to Advent.

Choosing Joy!
©2014 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

Decorating? Um....Energy Conservation

Krista and Lindsey headed back to OR today.

Our plan was to go to church and then spend the day decorating our home.

Um....well....Michael is at a spot where we need to conserve energy. He simply doesn't feel good. Today he needed to rest - that's what we did. We have a busy week coming up; there won't be many things we can miss.

Everyone laid around...and I updated the blog.

We went out for lunch.

We went up to the chapel to finish the chapel's Christmas card. I like the way it's turning out.  When we get photos of it all set up - I'll blog more about it and share more photos.

 

It's coming together...

 

We came home and received a call from Josiah. We had a deep and meaningful conversation - while we talked the Christmas sprites moved all the decorations to the living room.

We are going to count this as decorating.  Tomorrow - I will decorate, prepare to speak a bit at MTOC and get ready for PWOC.  Tonight - I'm going to go with conserving energy.

Choosing Joy!
©2014 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

Planes and Ducks

Our next stop was the base.

Michael drove us by the flight line and explained all the types of planes.

We drove by the WW2 POW Cell block.

We stopped at the SR 71 Static Display.

Good rain shield

Krista and Lindsey

 

There are a few times when we miss having television at home. The OR Civil War Game is one of those times. We tried out the chapel - and the TV in there did NOT get ABC. What's with THAT.

Another spot was closed.

We stopped at the Bowling Alley right as the game began. We ordered food and settled in to watch the game and bowl.....

They closed at SIX o' CLOCK! This left us scrambling - but we found our way to The Club.  One big TV didn't work. The other one was on AL/Auburn - What a game!  They agreed to turn the little one to the side of it to the Duck game....we had no sound....but we watched the Ducks trounce the Beavers.

I have now made up for not taking many photos on Thursday and Friday. ::wink::
 
Choosing Joy!
©2014 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

Family Mania

Aside from wondering what Michael's retirement look may look like - this photo is to introduce our next activity! Check out his HANDS.....yes, he is planning geocaching. Lindsey had never tried this - this was the perfect chance to introduce her to this mania fun past time.

Sure...yep....look natural....don't want anyone to guess what you are doing...look natural, I tell you.

 

As a group, in the rain, on the side of the road.....not sure these were the best hide locations

 

Ostrum road....I did my best and pointed the pretty camera every time a car came. It's left up to THEM to figure out why we'd be taking family pictures on Ostrum road in the rain.

 

This fellow was NOT too impressed with our coordinates

Did I say it was raining?  

 

I'm not sure we won Lindsey over.

These were all micro hides...really tiny. They were all right off a busy road. We looked for three. We found zero. If it wasn't raining, we would have spent more time looking. We were content to head on to base to give Lindsey a tour.

Her father grew up in Gridley and went to Yuba City College. She was interested in Beale AFB.

Choosing Joy!
©2014 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...