Another Flannel Monday

They just keep coming...and I am learning whilst I try to face emotions head on there was a significant amount of denial in this past year.  Our new reality is counting the days of missing Josiah in years instead of days, weeks and months.  This goes on and on...an eternity.  I do suspect I will still count in months for some time...and flannel Monday...my soul seems to know even if my brain forgets for a day or so....

This "garden" is so peaceful. I made it out and discovered it's time to switch out my picnic blanket for a camping chair or bench.  When we selected the spot, they'd said we could snow blow a path to Josiah's grave. It's a fairly steep climb and I wanted to get rid of the snow so others could simply visit...and so I went out with a shovel and big thermos of tea.  I'm not sure HOW one would push a snow blower up this hill...I finally settled on simply packing down the snow and making a path. 

I also cleared his marker...of course it dumped another 10 - 12 inches in the past 2 days...so well...it makes for a winter work out. I nearly got myself stuck. It's time to put some gravel in the back of the van...or talk Michael into going with me in the truck.  

The most priceless thing I've discovered this year is those comfortable with simply being with me.  Tears remain my superpower - certainly not as frequent or predictable. I am thankful to those who have become comfortable with tears. 

The trial? We won't be in court Thanksgiving week watching jury selection. There is talk the three-week trial may begin Dec 9th.  Nothing is set - I check Alaska Court View daily to catch a date. It makes it hard to plan or feel very festive with a trial looming over the month of December. 

Just some Monday thoughts.  

In other news, I finished the 27-page application packet for Dad for the third time. We are trying to get some help...it feels like I can focus on the blog again now that we've got another trust set, and the application ready to go again! 

Michael and GG enjoyed an hour and a half playing with BreZaak's kids...I enjoyed sitting in the driveway chatting with Bre. ::snort:: OK - honestly, she and I drove her van over to Midas - the heater went out...and when we got home we did sit out in the driveway for a good 30 minutes. It's a thing. 

It's taken a turn for the COLD...like negative 6 this morning...and it got up to 6 degrees today.  Winter is here. I cannot continue to insist on fall. 

GRACE NOTES:

1. Driveway discussions and grand time with kids. 

2. Projects finished. 

3. Memories which accompany tears, which are healing I'm told.