12 weeks since our safe and secure lives were turned upside down.
They say, "time heals all wounds." Who is they? And how much time? Certainly, more than 12 weeks. Maybe 34 weeks one week for each year of his life? Maybe 41 weeks the time I carried Josiah in my womb? Maybe 13 years the time we homeschooled him? I don't know.
*And when a nightmare walks through your door
You want the truth to be a lie
To say hello, no sad goodbyes
You're gone, I'm here, my world is dry
Without you
Twelve weeks and life still feels unsafe, painful, chaotic. At times I'm numb. At times I'm in excruciating pain. Sometimes I'm resigned and sometimes I'm angry. I have big questions with no real answers.
This I do know. God is here! I don't know how people walk through times like these without God. God weeps. God loves. God forgives. God is with us. God calls me to shelter in grace. God calls me to rest and remember. God welcomes the emotions and never, ever calls me to pretend it doesn't hurt or to "get back to normal." God calls me to forgive the unforgiveable, to receive and extend grace, to trust Him with justice and vengeance. I know I will see Josiah again.
Twelve Weeks.
* I miss everything about you
I just miss being around you
Outta sight, outta mind
Don't add up, not this time
It's the cold truth
I miss everything
*Everything About you by Toby Mac
