Sunday, March 31, 2013

My Sugary Idol

Sin is ugly and hopeless and for that reason I desperately need the crucifixion and the resurrection. I nailed him on the cross.  I don't want to admit it. I don't want my sin to nail him there. But I did. 

This was brought home to me Friday. I was frustrated. I knew I shouldn't speak...and that was right. I knew I should come home and hit my knees. Deep down I knew God would show me MY sin and I wanted to revel in HIS sin...just a bit longer. On GOOD FRIDAY no less. 

wader via photopin cc
 I knew I shouldn't buy the bag of Poppycock...but I chose to run to the bag of sugary goodness rather than the God of the universe. I deliberately went back to the aisle where it sits - AFTER having resisted through the whole shopping trip. I selected the biggest bag, paid for it, and ripped it open as soon as I shut the car door (and the kids were thrilled I bought it - they didn't know). I did. I chose not to deal with my angry feelings, my sin; I chose to run from the Holy Spirit into the arms of food.

 I suppose in the scheme of things this doesn't seem like much to most who will read this. But God has told me to follow him to freedom from food addiction, from out of control binges....and I CHOSE to run to a mini-binge instead of the arms of Jesus. Because in the history of binges this is small...but in the motivation of my heart this is big. 

Saturday morning I came into His loving presence. I thanked Him for an amazing night of table fellowship with friends. It was an absolutely fantastic night of friendship and plant based food.  I thanked Him for the price He paid on the cross for my freedom...I opened the Word and began to race through the day's I could turn to the epistle where  I planned to feast....
"Don't go back to worshiping worthless idols that cannot help or rescue you. They are totally useless." I Samuel 12:21
I remembered...what for others is an occasional "treat" is a stronghold, an idol, a place of false worship in my life. I simply cannot start down the road; at this point in my healing I cannot handle mini-splurges.  Out of control binges, food, has never helped or rescued me. They are totally useless. Jesus said to follow HIM to Freedom.  He clearly showed me Saturday morning  this is not time for me to enjoy these treats.

And we talked, my patient sweetie and I. I misunderstood his motives. My judging and subsequent idol worship was far uglier than his supposed fault.  Sin is that way. I confessed to him, as I need accountability. I'm done hiding ugly actions - because satan uses what I hide to bind me...browbeat me.

I'm broken.

I have hope only because HE was also broken - for my sin.

In tears, I rejoice. I thank Him. Once again, I truly repent.

I will continue to tear down the altar of this idol one choice at a time.

I will someday walk in total freedom - He has promised freedom as I follow...I should have listened Friday afternoon as I entered the commissary. I didn't.

Yes, I truly believe an idol is anything which I esteem higher than God, which I crave more than God, which I run to in place of God - and Poppycock is not always an idol...but on this day it certainly was. 

Choosing Joy!
©2013 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

Lovin Japan ~ Greetings and Service

I will miss the friendly, energetic calls of, "Irasshaimase!" as we pass stores and vendors. "Come! Come!"

I'll also miss doing a search for Shimoda Mall and pulling up photos I took three years earlier as I did with these. ::snort::

Look what else I found. I miss this little 4 year old...who is now a mature almost 8 year old and is quick to tell all she's a "Little bit American, but mostly Japanese."

Customer service in Japan  is unparalleled. Truly. In the airports, the train stations, the malls, the streets....people (clerks as well as the typical person) take pleasure in helping you.

I leave you with this view from a train station....note how friendly the attendant acts.

Choosing Joy!
©2013 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

When One Thinks of Easter.... doesn't naturally think of Vomit. But as my young friend, Amanda, reminds me, a mom of nine should know well, "Vomit knows no season."

Easter always requires a well-timed plan in our family. We agreed to let the children stay home from the sunrise service this year. Michael and I decided to take one car to base and save a bit of gas - besides we like to visit on the drive. He helped the PMOC with the Easter Breakfast. I enjoyed the sunrise service.

The plan was for me to then zip home, pack salads for Michael and I, get chicken and rice in the crock pot so there would be a hot meal waiting when we got home this evening for the kids. I would then head to base with all the kids for the 11:00 service. We would arrive at 10:30 as Nolan and Arielle were in a human video and needed to be early.  After service, a quick stop at the commissary for "lunchables" - a rare treat they requested - and we'd all head to Shipwreck beach for the afternoon. You may remember Zander and I missed the trip a couple of weeks ago as he was ill. This was to be our make up trip.

All was working like clockwork. I had the salads and snacks packed. I had dinner in the crock pot and was doing the last of clean up.

Stacia came down and said, "My tummy feels really funny."

Now, Stacia is "very aware" of all manner of aches, pains and bodily functions. I have learned not to get excited when she tells me her toe hurts, her elbow hurts, her throat hurts, her tummy feels funny.

She came back a few seconds later and informed me "stuff" kept coming into her throat and  she had to swallow really hard to get it back down. UGH.

I settled her with a bowl, some water and crackers. Zander stayed with her while I took Arielle and Nolan to the chapel.  I came home and kept watch for an hour, then  headed back to base (for the third time in one morning) to pick up Michael and the Kids. Remember, to save gas we'd only taken one car in at 05:30. ::snort::  I timed it to get a produce run in before I picked up the family.  They dropped me off at home and headed for Shipwreck.

While I encouraged Stacia  she and I would wear our new dresses NEXT week...and held the bowl for her....the others had adventures of their own.

Ah, the humanity of it all...ah, the irony....little white trucks often make their way into Michael's sermon illustrations. TODAY - they were rescued by a  Japanese angel with a rope in his little while truck. ::snort::

We don't often show the trash on the beaches - because we choose to remember them in a prettier light...but we are leaving soon and we do want to document life as it you go....and sometimes there are wonderful glass floats to be found in the midst of the trash. That'll preach!

This is the cliff - actually the road bed is above....very cool.  Today the kids had a fun competing to see who could get the most arrows the closest to center on the target they found.

 Today's winner is Arielle. 

Poor Stacia. She doesn't even want to cuddle or talk. She wants to sleep. She's been sick at least six times today.  It wasn't the day we planned, but for all but our little Resurrection (Anastacia) Joy, it was a good day.

Choosing Joy!
©2013 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...