Sunday, February 11, 2007

The Preplexing Nature of being a Mom to a Family of Raging Young Men when Dad is Gone for Months on End.....

I've felt overwhelmed the last few days. I'm not sure why....I think I feel like all the plates being juggled are sure to crash soon...and even that one week of extension on our separation feels like a long time. I've been thinking a lot about God's sovereignty and surrender the past few days. I know many of you think I'm "strong" and some sort of Super Mom but I tell you I am FAR from strong. Any strength you see is God's grace...and that's a fact. I need to carve out some extended time away with God...but I don't see that happening until Mike is home. I've been dreaming of that weekend that Mike sent me away to play.... So what has me perplexed and questioning my parenting on the fly ability?????

The boys are sure wedgies are kosher. God help me, I've thought about this and I can't find a verse to help me. I'm a MOM and I don't understand the young men raging around me. Wedgies???? Arielle and I are stunned. This wedgie thing is never directed at us...but it seems to have stemmed from Dilbert and to be hilariously funny to some of the male members of this household. This is not something girls did to each other in the dorm in high school! My brothers certainly never attempted such with me (who knows what they did to each other!). ::snort:: this normal?

I'm wondering if this is sort of a "boys dorm" mentality....and that you reach a certain level of males in one spot and they combust....and wedgies happen.....What do I know? I'm stumped. I'm pretty sure they are great, well-adjusted young men....sweet and caring, gentlemanly and kind to a fault...but what's with the WEDGIES? Is this something I'm meant to understand?

Mike finally convinced me a bit of towel snapping was o.k. but this is a new one. I can't believe that I've been brought to the point of uttering such wise words as, "No ONE gives ANYONE a wedgie in this house until your FATHER says it is o.k. to give wedgies." It's got to be some sort of low in my wise mothering career. ::snort:: I saw them struggling not to laugh as the words came OUT OF MY MOUTH and I ended their struggle by laughing myself. There are five young men in my home planning how best to plead their case with Mike the next time he calls. All sides of the issue will be represented.

As if the children going nuts isn't enough, the DOG is also testing all boundaries. We love this dog. However, this dog has NEVER been allowed in MIKE'S ROOM (which is also my room LOL) or in the kitchen. She sits at the entry of the kitchen and edges her nose over...she's been doing this for a month or so. NOW she is actually walking into my room with her head turned the other way..."out", I say and she mournfully stares at me.... I conclude this I think I better explain that raging is a term we use that means "tearing around with great fun and jubilation" not anger type rage..... And I'm also thinking maybe some boys are missing wrestling matches with Mike....but I am NOT even going to attempt to fill THAT space....some of these boys of mine are a full foot taller than I....though I've got them all beat in sheer weight! ::snort::

Catching Up....

Observant blog readers have noticed that I've not really said anything since Thursday.....::snort:: But I can fill up space saying nothing with the best of them, can't I?

Friday - HECTIC is the only word to describe Friday a.m.'s. I'm enjoying my class at the Health and Wellness Center, but it does take away from the fun of having lots of folks in the house in the a.m. I miss putting the kettle on with the stragglers.....ah well....

After class Jared and all the rest down to Stacia and I went and picked up a balloon bouquet and took it to the mall. We delivered it to Chick Fil A. Yes, we agreed not to celebrate birthdays until Mike got home, but 18 is a big one and we simply couldn't let the day go without some sort of recognition.

Saturday - The older boys had a birthday party to attend. It involved paint ball, pizza, Risk and such....I had the little ones at home. We relaxed.

I spent the a.m. creating a new food/exercise log that reflects what I'm currently doing. I think I'm happy with it. Right across the top I wrote my new motto "1200 calories is NOT gluttony". I also filled out two more FAFSA forms.

Sunday - Church. Zander's birthday. We hadn't planned to do gifts...but he kept mentioning today was "his Christmas" and I thought it would be good to get him some sort of gift. I don't think he fully understood what he was agreeing to when he said he'd wait for Mike to be home for his birthday. I think he meant Dad would be HOME. He actually talked to both Mike and Krista today - that's a good day on the phone for him. I gave in to his sensory issues since it IS his birthday and let him wear sweat pants to church. I did ask him to turn his shirt the right way and promised he could turn it inside out again when we got home. ::snort::

Road Trip

This is a photo I pirated of my oldest daughter - she tends to get his way in vans...or when she's not had enough sleep - I suspect both were true at this moment in her life. They are back from Seattle now and settling into the normal Master's Commission routine.


Zander is 5 today. When I asked him how old he is, he said, "Fifty-five"! It does sound a bit more impressive, doesn't it?

My Daughter the Emo/Goth

*got permission to cross-post some things from the girls' blogs...Bre's next week. This from Krista:

On a bit more of a serious note, I have some thoughts from a scavenger hunt we did the Friday after Thanksgiving. On this scavenger hunt a group of adults from the church goes to the mall and hides, while the youth tries to find them. The youth that finds the most people get a reward.

The hiders are encouraged to dress up. Bre wore her host brother's clothes and went as a boy, Molly dressed like a girl punk rocker. I dressed up like an interesting Emo/Goth. I ended up getting separated from the group and walking around the mall by myself for two hours.

I learned a lot by doing this. People would shy away from me like I had leprosy. This was weird because people usually crowd me and make me move for them! The little kids were all scared of me and were hiding behind their mothers! Everyone else acted like they didn’t SEE me! Now, they had to see me to avoid me. Didn’t they? After an hour of this, I really just wanted someone to smile at me or even acknowledge my presence. One person did, a person at a KIOSK!

I got to thinking about it. The place was crammed with people from the church, but none of them saw me. I walked by all the youth kids, and because they wouldn’t look at me, they didn’t recognize me. How often do we walk around judging people by how they are dressed? All the mothers that hid their children from me, would have let me baby-sit if I was dressed differently!

How may of the people that look mean and scary, that walk around the malls or around town, are inside longing for someone to just smile at them? I was. You have kids with bad lives that start dressing scary or even just DIRTY, because they cant afford nicer, and people treat them like outcasts. Except the REALLY gothic people, the witches, they will accept them. So that is where they go. The whole time they might be crying out, as they are dragged down that road, but we, as Christians don’t see or hear them because they are ”scary” and not “acceptable”.

Next time you see an Emo/Goth dresser, try the smiling instead of the judging look that asks why someone would dress like that.