Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Wednesday P.S.


A few accomplishments I said I'd post and "forgot".

Jamin finished rewriting his novel again! He also finished his first assignment for the Christian Writer's Guild.

Josiah's pay check came with another note, "Congrats, Josiah! You sold 26.67 milkshakes per 100 customers! Thank you for all your hard work, personal excellence, GREAT attitude and loyalty!" They are having a contest each pay period and the one who sells the most milk shakes receives a $20 gift certificate to the gates of....I mean Walmart. He is rarely up front these days as he is one of the few who can do the back room things....but he managed to win. We did NOT order a single shake...in fact we haven't gotten one since the girls left...but maybe it's time...if I can go over there without Zander...they are NOT FG at all. LOL

Watching *Reds* now....immersion that's what this is. . .
DAD UPDATE (from my Mom)

He is feeling so much better and with the unknown infection of the last 2 operations gone he is have good results from pain meds. {Dad had an abscessed tooth and had a root canal between 2nd and 3rd surgery. Speculation is that the infection from that interfered with the healing of his bones?}

They took him off morphine and he is not on percodan. His pain is there but much easier to manage.. They had him up today teaching him how to use a walker without putting any weight on the left side but still putting the left toes on the floor for balance. His arms will sure get strong.

He had to have another 2 units (4 by now) of blood today. Seems there is still a lot of bleeding from within the bone, and surgery area etc. Kinda sickening to see them empty this round thing.....it is like a diskette and 2 inches tall.......gets full so they pour it out in a pee cup and measure how much blood there is etc.......... even a bit gross for me and things don't usually make me feel shocked.............
Wednesday

Yikes - I'm on a row. Bear with me in the parenting study if you aren't interested. Skip over it. {g} Studies are like this for me....I marinate in them and then they sort of explode. . . naturally and almost effortlessly.

Last night I didn't get to sleep until 6 this morning. :::snort::: TEEEEETHING again!

I finally dragged myself out of bed at 7:45 a.m. I didn't exercise at all. I felt it was an accomplishment to be standing.

I got several phone calls that ate up my morning - but they were good. I was able to talk to Mike for the first time in 6 days. Yippee. Krista called! Yeahaw! Now - I asked ya'all to be praying for my babies when they did the backdraft assemblies in Seattle. Krista reports that the wind was knocked out of her in both assemblies. I told her she needs to tell Trevor to quit throwing her around quite so enthusiastically. Bre was the ONLY ONE not hurt at all...which makes me wonder what to make of the whole thing. :::snort - tongue firmly planted in cheek:::

We did a bit of school. The older 3 are zooming on without me. The younger two NEED me and the phone and Stacia conspired against our school efforts today. Arielle did get all her table work done. Nolan doesn't get table work done unless I "remind" him to get started. We did begin reading *Polar the Titanic Bear*. Stephanie - THANKS for this recommendation. It's wonderful. I want to find the book for our own. That and our family way is about all we got done of couch school. :::Snort:::

Debbie, a dear local friend who is a working mom, came over on her DAY OFF to surprise me with a meal. Wow. It was timely. She brought so much that I have two more meals of spaghetti sauce in the freezer. {g}

The littles and I ran out for milk.

The older 3 are watching *October*. This is another movie about the Russian Revolution. The funny thing about this one to the boys is that it was made in the 1930's. It's basically a silent movie with music and words popping up on the screen from time to time.

I'm still without my computer and need it. I need to compile our co-op splits tonight and I can't minimize email when I'm online so I can't go back and forth to quickly compile the order. Whine, whine, whine....

That's the day.
Jewish View of Childhood - sort of a side trip.

Brief notes:

In Jewish society life was divided into three stages: childhood, young adult, adult.

In childhood one was not considered to be responsible for moral choices such as choosing God. There are several words used for this phase. There is one specifically for children under the age of 5 (typically this is translated as nursing babe). This phase obviously began at birth {snort - still with me?} and ended around 12.

Young Adult - A child is meant to transition from being a child to being an adult. The whole teenager thing (with the phases that we are told are aboslute were invented after WW2). A Young Adult knows that he is in training to be an adult. He is transitioning from childhood to adult. I've written about this often....a great article that changed our views of the whole "teen years" is The Myth of the Teenager by Michael Platt. This article gave us GREAT hope as our oldest approached the teen years and others were constantly telling us that she WOULD rebel and that a child MUST rebel in order to make their faith their own. What???? This article is worth a read, it's worth printing out and saving...it's been around a long time. We read it when Bre was a 5th grader and she is 21 now. This phase seems to have lasted from 12 - 17 or 21 depending on the sources I read.

Adult - the phase when a person has been fully trained and is responsible for moral choices and is marrying and having a family. (Not that all must but Jewish culture seems to have assumed this was the mark of adulthood).

There are LOTS of Hebrew and Greek words translated as CHILD in the Bible...we'll look at one more in-depth as we study the rod verses in Proverbs. English simply says "child" but the Hebrew word choices are very specific.
PROVERBS

With a basic understanding of what the Bible means by "rod" I headed to the book of Proverbs.

A few thoughts to keep in mind when reading Proverbs. This information was gleaned from *The Hayford Bible Handbook*, *The New Inductive Study Bible*, and the *Spirit-Filled Life Bible*. All I learned matched up with what I knew from previous studies and from Bible School, so I did not take this part of the study further. If you remain unconvinced, I suggest you do some more study. Find a commentary or Bible handbook that you trust and see what they have to say about the book of Proverbs as a whole. This type of information is most often found in the introductary notes of commentaries, handbooks or study Bibles. Check more than one source - my rule of thumb is three sources. BUT at least check two. {G}

Written - 971-686 BC mostly by Solomon and Hezekiah but multiple authorship

The book is not prophetic or doctrinal. It is not a book that tells a story or recounts history. It is poetic. It is wisdom literature. In other words it is a compilation of short maxims and teachings on wisdom. It is compiled of wise and clever sayings of general truth.

These are maxims NOT commands. You cannot take the observations and turn them into absolute commands. You also cannot directly claim all promises implied in the writings. They weren't written, in other words, to be absolute doctrinal truth. They are meant for us to meditate on, to learn from, to apply but many are figurative and many do not translate to absoulutes - principles rather than absolutes!

For instance: "A man's enemies will be at peace with him when his ways please the Lord" - Jesus' enemies were not at peace with Him though He pleased God in all that He did.

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing" cannot be changed to be a command that one MUST find a wife.

Figurative example: "Put a knife to your throat if you are a man of great appetite".

*Side note - the last chapter Pr 31 is UNIQUE in ancient literature as it reveals a high and noble view of women that was not common in ancient civilizations.
Summarize rod: big, thick, stick capable of smashing a skull (Numbers 24:17) and killing a man (Ex 21:10) a weapon used for protecting sheep (Ps 23:4).

At the time of the writing of the book of Proverbs a Shevet was understood to be an instrument to inflict pain, to kill and to maim.

Fools and servants were beat with a shevet across the back (not backside) to inflict pain, to cause them humiliation and to teach them submission.

Symoblized authority, tribe (family) and discipline.

Fools, servants and rebellious sons seemed to have been literally beat (but then again the other option was stoning to death).
TALKED TO DAD! He sounded MUCH better than he usually does this soon after surgery. He sounded in good spirits. Thanks for your prayers.
"Rod"

I began my "serious" study by looking at the word rod. I did this because the rod verses are most often quoted to me right after someone asks me what I would do in a specific situation. :::snort:::

For example:
Gertrude: What would you do if your child reached for a hot oven?
Me: I would say "hot" in an alarmed voice, and move her.
Gertrude: How can you teach a child to leave an oven alone without spanking her?
Me: I would understand that developmentally she will explore, a 2 year old needs me to be WITH her, I would react strongly each time she neared the oven (BTW maybe a gate is in order).
Gertrude: spare the rod spoil the child

Or

Gertrude: What would you do if your child began to fuss about leaving the library?
Me: (because this happened LOL) I would get down on his level and say "I know you don't want to leave the library and that you love it here. It is time to leave now. If you fuss you will not be able to come next time." Then I would tell him "it's time to leave". If he fussed, he'd not be able to come back next time. (In our case Zander came and said later in the van "I'm so, so, so, so GOOD!"
Gertrude: I'd spank. He who spares the rod hates his son.

I wanted to check out ALL the rod verses carefully. I expected there to be many. Below are my findings. I have deliberately NOT read any of the books that folks have suggested when they heard that I was doing a study. I look forward to reading them when I'm done here....which is why I'm going to bite the bullet, come out of the closet and share my thoughts. So I can read again. LOL

NOTE: I do NOT claim to have perfectly behaved children. I do NOT claim to be an expert. I do NOT claim to be a "model family" for parenting. I only am sharing what I've studied.

For those who want to know my background. I grew up in a wonderful pastor/missionary home. Spanking was practiced. I love my parents and am not damaged. We did spank our first couple of children, because that is what we thought the Bible said. The more we studied and the more we saw what WORKED and produced wholehearted, honest children we began to focus more on HEART issues and less on OUTWARD behavioral issues. Those who know our children will tell you that they are well-behaved. We don't spank a lot and haven't for years and years. At this point I would say that I don't spank and Mike says "there are times when it is needed" but I've not seen one of those times in a long time. We do have a couple of STRONG WILLED children. The first time around we religiously applied Dobson's principles and spanked nearly non-stop for several years. We almost broke his spirit. It is only lately that I see that old spark emerging. We currently have another strong willed child. He's 4. We don't spank. We allow for him to be a child. We also use a lot of positive reinforcement and creative techinques. I "shadow" him - he is with me most the time - always when we are out so that I can see when he needs me to teach and train him how to react in a situation. It is harder than the spanking route but we are seeing quicker results with a child who still has quite a bit of spark left. LOL He's not what some would consider "well-behaved" but those who take the time to know him would tell you that he is a lovely child who happens to be very high energy. Someday he'll be as well behaved as his OLDER siblings (but see at 4 you can't expect young adult behavior).

Please understand this study was a process. It will be a process to share it. I start only with definitions in this post. In a topical study I define key words, take those definitions to key passages and then check the rest of the Word to see if what I have found is consistent.

~There are four words used in the Old Testament for rod and one in the New Testament. I will spare you the definitions of all five.

The Hebrew word used in connection with children is "Shevet or Sebet or Shebet".

Strongs # 7626

Strongs: a branch, a stick (for punishing, fighting, ruling and walking), a staff (striking - killing predators), chastening a fool (and 4 references with children), rod of a shephered, rulers scepter, family, division. Symbol of authority (Amos 1:5,8), weapon of war (Ps 2:9)

"Shevet represents in a symbolic way rules of authrotiy from the messiah" (Ps 2:9, Is 11:4)

Most common translation is TRIBE


Dr. Zodhiates (OT Bible Dictionary): Rod, scepter, tribe; common shepherd's tool (Ezekial20:37, Ps 23); weapon (2 Sam 23:21), beating cumin (Is 28:27), shaft of a spear (2 Sam 8:14), discipline for slave, fool and son

Most common use: symbol of authority, rulership - tribe


Theological Wordbook of the OT: All of the above
Shephred uses Shevet to count and inspect sheep. YES!!! What a beautiful word picture. The shepherd would stretch out his rod and the sheep would pass over or under it...he would count and inspect each sheep INDIVIDUALLY! (Lev 27:32; Ezek 20:37)

Used to protect sheep(ps23:4, Michah 7:14)

Instrument of "remedial and penal" punishment for slaves, fools and sons

remedial - special course to overcome defeciencies (assumes prior training; being 2 is not a defeciency :::snort:::)

penal - legal punishment

In Proverbs shevet is a symbol of discipline (preventative (verbal rebuke) and corrective (physcial))

Mark of authority, tribe


Brown-Driver-Briggs-Gesenius- Hebrew-English Lexicon #986b
used figuratively - for chasetisement
Shephereds implement (muster and count sheep)
truncheon - scepter, mark of authority, symbol of conquest
tribe

Conclusions: definitions need to be taken back to the context of various verses to determine which definition fits the context.

A shevet was a thick, tall branch like staff, it was used as a weapon, to protect and as a walking stick.

Shevet is most often meant to "symbolize" authority and tribe (family).

Shevet is seen as a "symbol" of discipline.

It appears that spanking may be used for remedial and penal uses. Since most of us are not administering legal punishments to our children that wouldn't fit in the parent/child role. As far as remedial - this would be the camp Mike is in. There are times, AFTER training has occured and taking into account that children ARE children and not mini-adults, that remedial training may be needed. When we've taken the time to be with our children, training them, praying with them and mentoring them we've not hit a spot where we needed to spank. However, at this point of my study I am not convinced that this means that spanking should be the main tool of discipline in a young child's life. They've not been trained at that point. I'm also not sure that it is the best tool. But it may be one tool where remedial conditions exist....if you choose to adapt the view that the rod is to symbolize physical spanking of some sort. At this point in the study I wasn't making conclusions so I won't share them here. I believe we need to look at each verse in context to determine which definition will fit best.

Shevet is most often used in speaking of discipline of slaves and fools. It is mentioned in connection with "children" four times in the book of Proverbs.

Even those who say they literally (as opposed to figuratively or symbolically) apply the definition of rod; don't. No one I know is beating their child with a thick branch. All of us have chosen the rod to symbolize "something"...be that a "glue stick", "mr. whacker", ruler, belt, hand, OR authority, family, discipline.


With this preliminary understanding of the word translated "rod", I read Proverbs. I noted each verse that specifically spoke to parenting. Hundreds of verses would apply to parenting, but I looked for the ones that seemed to speak to child discipline. I noted that the word "discipline" is used far more often than "rod" in the book when speaking of children. I began to suspect my study would never end and I would study discipline after rod. :::snort:::

I NEED to say this. Even when we spanked religiously and instantly....the children's HEART was the issue. I believe whatever child training method you are using this MUST be the focus....and I believe this is modeled by God in His treatment of His children. Where I've seen spanking work well - long term - in other words I've seen the children leave home and continue to hold to the beliefs and values of the family....it has been in families where it was combined with TRAINING, praying, shepherding, mentoring....focusing on HEART and not BEHAVIOR....we must go beyond the behavior of our children to their hearts. When we do this - spanking can be a tool that is used and I've seen it turn out o.k. I've also seen families that begin spanking at a very young age and see spanking as their only tool or main tool of discipline. I see perfectly behaved youngsters...sometimes a bit more rebellious young adults and often 18 - 25 year olds who splatter. Not always - but often.

Please know it is NOT my purpose here to say that if you spank you do not love your children. It is not my purpose to say if you don't spank you hate your child. It is my purpose to share what I've found as I've studied. And yes, to encourage all to go beyond behavior to heart when disciplining our children. By the way - not sure when discipline came to mean physical spanking.....but that's another word for another day. {bg}