Monday, June 04, 2007

Midnight Hours

Yesterday evening Zander told me, "Mom, the babies in your scomach died and we cried. You shouldn't of let those babies in your scomach die - go get some more?" I've already struggled - and taken captives the thoughts that threaten to overwhelm. Mother's Day: "What kind of a mother are YOU - you can't even keep your baby safe?" But I know to react calmly to little ones questions - they are simply processing the situation as best they can. We talked. I didn't cry.

Then we went out to eat and there was a tiny baby fussing at the table next to us. Stacia was fascinated and went to visit. They turned the seat so she could watch. She loved it. She cooed and was sweetness itself (shew)! ::snort::They had named their baby a name I was hoping to use this time. It made me sad.

At home I had a message from PBS that a book I'd auto requested was on it's way to me: Supernatural Childbirth.

After everyone else was asleep I spent some time alone, praying. I cried. I reminded myself that Paul said he'd LEARNED to be content. I taught myself a few things I'd taught before. Being a Bible Teacher is so much fun - those words are always rattling around in my head somewhere. Honestly, it IS a blessing. {G} I chose again (and will do it repeatedly, as often as necessary) to be content, to be satisfied with this season of life, to recognize that my Shepherd leads and in short - to choose joy once again. Deliberately and repeatedly.

Maybe you are walking through a tough of those that doesn't naturally lead to joy and contentment. Even though your situation is totally different than mine - the lessons are the same. He leads. He's to be trusted. We have to repeatedly choose to rest contentedly. We have to deliberately and repeatedly choose to handle our trials in the way he Has instructed us. I picture handing the pain/trial/circumstance to him and telling him to squeeze every last drop of learning he has for me out of the thing before we move on.....maybe that way I'll be here less often. Or I can learn deeper lessons during the next trial?


I am by nature a perfectionist. (Alright - already - I can hear those who have known me in recent years yucking it up!!!!) I am a RECOVERING Perfectionist. I learned years ago that I was making my family CRAZY by my need to organize, plan, have every thing in its spot etc. I would chase around after them picking up dishes before they were through, moving newspapers when they got up to get a new glass of milk...that sort of nutso. I relaxed the standard. We no longer aim for perfection - excellence will do. We also loosely describe excellence in some seasons of our life. ::snort:: BUT I, personally, still feel better with lists, schedules, plans, I'm out to get my life back under control after the past few whirlwind months.
To manage as many circles of life as I do - I NEED TO BE ORGANIZED. I've been sick, not well, had major events, the miscarriage - frankly it was time to organize. So I spent the day working on getting my life back. Unfortunately that meant another day on the PHONE. I needed to organize co-op things, chapel things, school things, online things....and GRRRRRR Vacation things.

I had no idea what time it was until Mike arrived home and suggested we do THIS for dinner (two older boys were working):

Zander played a charming doorman

Then we came home. I set about to check more off the "to do" list. Mike and Jared went to get gas. I received a call and for the first time EVER Mike had locked his keys in the vehicle. We hopped in the Honda and went to the rescue.

Back home Mike and Jared helped me out of the "nothing to blog" dilema. Seems Cadet G of the Civil Air Patrol was told to lose the facial hair before Thursday.

Here's our traditional "it's time to shave" photo - Jared and Mike

Jared assures Mike he knows what to do with a razor!

And Stacia brings polish to Arielle for help with Chigger Relief, she had one on her tummy

A photo from Friday's Movie Night....note the polish on Arielle's neck. LOL Other daily tidbits: we cleaned, drained and moved the kiddy pool. A dove had dived into it and met its end. We got a bit of our "summer school" done. I found myself out buying Benadryl at 3:30 a.m. The ONLY time to shop at Walmart! ::snort::

Jared did another two lawns.

I'm looking for rental cars. Has anyone found a great spot for THAT - like maybe CRBO (Car Rentals by Owners)? ::snort:: I'm not sure if it's because we are trying to rent a car in Anchorage or because of the time of the year - but I KNOW we paid about 1/2 this cost when we were traveling two years ago. Anyway, if you have any tried and true site or such leave them in the comment section - ok? Or we may hitch hike while in Anchorage. LOL

Jamin and Josiah are home from work...time to bring this to an end.

Book Discussion Question

How are we all doing? I know that Lisa is through Chapter 8. I see some of the rest of you posting on the links?
I've slowed down as the pace of a section a week seems to be too much for most. I was trying to finish the book before we left on vacation and so that it would be finished on my Spring Reading Thing....BUT if you all are back on chapter 3 or 4...then I'll wait until next week to post more blurbs.
I think I will go ahead and read and save entries in draft and then I can post them while I'm gone if need be.
BUT how are you all doing? Remember this book can be incredibly convicting - but don't let Satan turn that to condemnation in your life. Conviction we take to the cross and we repent - turn and go a new way.