Thursday, December 14, 2006

THURSDAY

Breakfast this a.m. Dutch Babies, fruit platter...no smoothie/no blender...fresh orange/clementine juice. Got a 4 mile ride in. 500 by Christmas is looking doubtful.

This week is speeding by. I can't believe tomorrow will be FRIDAY again already. I'm not ready for Friday. BUT I am ready for the girls to be home in a short week! LOL

Today is day 100!!!! I had thought of having a 100 party but its to close on the heels of the 1/2 way party, even for me. If you have no clue what I'm talking about...welcome, to my blog...you must be a new reader? ::snort:: 100 days that a big chunk of my heart has been playing in the sand box.....

No school today. We finished week 12 on Tuesday and decided that was enough for this week. I took Nolan, Jamin and Zander out shopping. I took them to Wendy's afterwards. There was a gentlemen who commented, "you have quite a gap between your oldest and the youngest two." Oh, Jamin is right....I shouldn't have said anything. ::snort:: I told me I should have just let the man say that and not tried to explain. I'm a teacher....I must try to clear up perplexities. I was explaining the gap, "Oh, I have nine children and the others fill in the gaps." "NINE children????" The conversation went from there. He began to tell others walking by that I had nine children. His wife came back to the table and was told. She turned to me and said, "we only had one - I can't imagine NINE." OK - you have to understand they were NOT directly next to us...they WERE talking loud enough for most the dining room to follow the conversation. I was trying to eat and pretend I didn't hear anything. Her husband then said, "*I* can imagine nine children" and to me, "I wanted a large family" and they proceeded to argue. I couldn't believe this. She commented to me, something like "what were you thinking" and I pulled out my famous lines...a double whammy, "I wanted one child per month so that when I'm old I can travel to 12 locations a year and not overly burden my children" and "I had enough extra children to cover your social security payments." They laughed.....Jamin is not the one to have enjoyed this interchange. He said, "Mom - what DID you mean about social security" and then was fine as we moved away from the whole "Nine children on display" scenario. ::snort::

We made a salad and delivered it and a gift to Melody's house. I won't be able to make the baby shower but wanted to be sure the gift makes it.

Poor Josiah got called in to work. He will close tonight and be in early tomorrow to unload the truck. He asked them to try to find someone else. A first....I had all his uniforms in the washer when they called. ::snort:: They told him to come on in and they'd have a manager shirt he could wear. LOL That sounded better to him than wearing wet clothes all night.

We made cookies. I forgot I made a double batch of Dutch Babies this a.m. and had no eggs. I remembered that Jodi makes vegan cookies without eggs and went for it. I couldn't quite remember what she does instead; I simply added a couple of T of water. They were good. I think we like them better. LOL I baked them a bit long.... but my kids will eat anything sweet.

Tonight was Mom's Night Out. We had dinner at Wholesome Food - a fun spot. A great salad and quiche. Butternut squash soup - that was new for me....it was good. . .cold but good. The speaker is a homeschooler whose youngest is now finished. She was good. She talked about Ellen Davis' box example...where things are urgent/important, urgent/not important, not urgent/important, or not urgent/not important.....I realized that if I don't tend to the not urgent/important I move them to the urgent/important and thus always have that adrenaline laced lifestyle going on....did anyone follow that????? I need to be sure that I schedule SOME of the non-urgent important things in before they become urgent...like calling AK DMV to register my vehicle that expires in 16 days. She put things like playing with the kids in that not urgent/important category - but I have that down fairly well....having the girls leave home taught me to rearrange THOSE priorities. LOL

Well - better get to bed...Friday's are long and busy.
Recycled toys....what do you do when a ball springs a leak? Make a punk wig...the toy lives on! ::snort::
NO! They Don't Outgrow "IT". God made them this way! Jamin spent some time in the workshop.....

Oh - keep forgetting to say that we all had a good laugh when Mike opened his Christmas box. Stacia had deposited a binky in the box....

Wednesday's Photos

I try to post at least one photo a day for family and didn't get it done yesterday.....here's a few...

Cy (Josiah) fixed the wonder mill again - it sounds great. It didn't die during my first grind....
Flour didn't really show up in the first photo

The Bosch blender blade attachment is ordered.....I'm beating those rascally appliances back into submission...with the help of a son, and a credit card. ::snort::
PARENTING IN PROVERBS CONCLUSION

~There are four rod verses in Proverbs that mention "children". Yet, many Christians will tell you that the Biblical way of parenting involves spanking first and foremost....and that Proverbs teaches this. I've not found any other verses in the rest of the Bible to support this view. I've discovered that Proverbs, itself, doesn't support this view.

~In 3 of the four verses "child" is "naar" which culturally and traditionally was translated "youth" - 16 - marriage.

~Spanking, as taught by some sections of Christianity, is not supported by in-depth study of the Word. I am saying that spanking is not expressly forbidden in Scripture but neither is it commanded in Scripture.

~Proverbs does have a LOT to say about parenting - more than I expected.

~Christians would be better off encouraging one another in ways to apply the concepts of "discipline" (which means training, oral instruction based on a coventantal relationship that is God-centered and God-natured) than in arguing over spanking. I think we can all agree that the Word clearly shows we are to be doing much, much more with our children than simply spanking.

~Many parents I know who do spank ARE concerned about the heart of their children. When we spanked it was NOT the main tool in our tool box. It was not used often. We were always concerned about our children's heart and not simply behavior.

~However, I'm seeing more and more Christian parents who are to "busy" to fulfill Biblical discipline and have resorted to thinking that if they spank instantly they are guaranteed godly offspring...I don't see that supported by Scripture.

Finally, I began this study figuring that I would find that everyone is right and that I needed to be using the rod more often on my children. I hated this idea, but I also knew that I love God more than any stance or belief I may have. I am committed to obedience and often those commands are revealed in the Word. I HAD studied this before but never as in-depth as I did this time. I KNEW that there were valid reasons that spanking was not my focus and that my concerns of proof-texting with various parenting verses were valid. I discovered, once again, that we should never be afraid to study the Word. Often the church has told us that certain verses mean one thing - when in fact - they don't. In other words we've been taught the interpretations of the Word and not how to study the Word for ourselves. In this case I discovered that the rod verses were much more complicated than they seemed to be on the surface. We THINK something like "that's cut and dried, I know exactly what that means" but we are guilty of putting 21st century interpretations on words that meant something else in the culture. It's been a fascinating study.

WHY did I drag you all along? One, I needed to write SOMEWHERE how we parent and why. Several wanted to know what I found.

Two, for a teacher...any study leads to a desire to share....

Third, I wanted to illustrate HOW to do a topical study....so I explained step by step, over the months, how I did this. Many on SHS have asked me HOW to do a word study... I showed how to do word studies and then showed several examples.

Fourth, I took you through Proverbs with me for several reasons. After doing word studies we always take the word back to the verses where it was found. To gain accurate context we will read the authors whole letter or book. After studying the rod verses it was important to see what else Proverbs had to say and if our observations would fit the context of the rest of the book. AND I wanted to show how easy it is to do a devotional study. We could easily read through Proverbs saying, "What does this book say to me about marriage" or "what does this book say to me about finances"....

The next step is to look at the topic throughout Scripture....which I have begun doing. I'm ending my notes here because this will be an on going study....I have a notebook with all these notes and will add to it as I read through the Bible.

I will also now begin to read the stack of books that many of you have been recommending over the months. HOWEVER, now I'm evaluating what the authors say by what I've discovered in the Word. The WORD is my foundation for my belief and I won't be easily swayed to believe one way or another because of specific authors. It is important to me to know that my actions are based on the Word and not on "impressions" I may have or on other's writings. I've been told several authors agree with me...so why did I spend all this time checking for myself when I could have gone to several websites, read the books several recommended and reached the same conclusion in a fraction of the time? If I had read the authors FIRST, I would have still be left with wondering if I was trying to skirt the rod verses. I'm now fully convinced. Study of the Word gives me confidence. Also a few of those websites are very unbalanced in trying to support their perspective. I have no need to enter on a crusade. I had a need to know what the Word said for MY family.

Many of you know that I'm currently raising an alphabet soup child. Some who do not know what this is like, have encouraged me that if I'd spank him more, longer, and harder "he would shape up". The thing is that God created THIS child for a PURPOSE and THIS child has some differences....I am convinced that he will NEVER "shape up" in the sense of being a cookie cutter child. LOL That is NOT bad. You've heard me say this before. I have another strong willed son. It is not bad. It is the PERSONALITY that God gave him....and properly mentored, taught, and discipled, that determination has already been used of GOD and will be used of God in the future to accomplish great things for the kingdom. We need to quit thinking our children must be "fixed" to fit societies norm....and begin to see that God knew exactly what He was doing when He created each one. My son responds well to a parent who comes along side and teaches him HOW to respond in situations that he simply doesn't have the typical skills to deal with - yet. Spanking does not train him....he takes the spanking and continues to respond inappropriately - because that is what's inside of him. {G} His behavior often is distressing to me, but God continues to confirm that his HEART is to be my focus....regardless of how many other well-meaning Christians tell me to do this or that. I parent to please God. I hope you hear that I am not ANGRY at the advice I receive....I am simply motivated to figure out what the WORD has to say. Some children simply will not respond, as the majority of children may, and the Word gives us the freedom to use lots of techniques to SHEPHERD/PASTOR our children.

I'd always been led to believe that "non-spankers" were lazy, permissive, letting their children run wild.....I hope this study has shown you this is not the case. I don't spank - or haven't for quite a bit of time. My children, however, are NOT left to their own. I don't chalk bad behavior up to "developmental levels" - though I do recognize that there ARE maturity levels of children it would be good for us to WORK with instead of punish for. Often I see children being disciplined for being child-like. God doesn't discipline ME for being child-like in my faith...He instructs me how to mature. I have often thought "it would be much easier to spank him now than to take 30 minutes dealing with his heart issue". So...wherever you stand on this stance...let's look more to OUR households and less to others. Let's realize that all are trying to do the very best we can and that really the Scripture has a lot more to say on the subject than "spare the rod spoil the child" (which doesn't mean what its quoted to prove anyway).

Non-spankers should NOT assume that spankers are mean, hate their children or are lazy. Spankers should not assume that non-spankers are liberal, lazy or push overs. Quit judging each other. Get direction from God and give others the freedom to get direction for THEIR individual children from God as well. More than anything else I hope that this has helped others with a stance different than my own, to realize that those with my beliefs really also love their children, are very involved with their children and have valid Biblical reasons for doing what they do as well.

The bottom line is that each of us will be responsible to God for how we've raised our children. We owe it to our children to search out what God says on this matter and not what various authors say that God says on this subject.

The end.
Parenting in Proverbs - Ch 31

31:15 "She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens."

~Did you wonder why I was inspired to begin serving breakfast at 7 a.m.? Wonder no longer....::snort::

31:21 "She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed was scarlet."

~Ok, really, fear of snow down here is not a huge concern I've had....but I do remember the not so distant past living in AK. There were preparations that we rushed to finish before the snow flew. I think we can all take this verse to heart. There are preparations for our families that we need to be taking care of.

31:26 "She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue."

~Wisdom - not crabbiness, pms induced mania, or meanness....wisdom.

~KINDNESS is on her tongue....this is a big word around our home.

~Homeschooling Moms Note: Finally...a Scripturally endorsed curriculum.....teaching of kindness.....far more important than finding the perfect curriculum...if we must be curriculum junkies lets be junkies for finding new ways to teach the things that God says are important...here's an example.

31:27 "She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness."

~This will look different for each of us and we'd be WISE to worry about our own idleness rather than to judge if other moms are wasting time. LOL But there we have it.....before we spend time on "ourselves", we'd best be looking to the ways of our household.