Monday, April 16, 2007

Busy Day

Wow! I really got things done.

I DID pay the bills.

I DID work out at Curves...being careful to slow way, way down at the first hint of dizziness.

WE DID finish school.

I DID take a nap.

The Dr. did call back. I sort of KNEW that the receptionist should have asked more questions and worked me in sooner than the end of May...but I hate to make waves. Evidently, Dr. Laura has decided that I will be seen in April. She thinks I need care before the second trimester but isn't terribly alarmed with my symptoms. OK are you ready? THIS is what I'm to do...."take it easy", "don't drive if you feel this coming on", "rest"....since I've had 2 second warnings...this should be interesting. It could well be hormones, or anemia, or low blood sugar...I don't have other symptoms of high blood pressure so I don't think it's that. I am trying to be sure I eat every couple of hours. Isn't God funny? I've really been having trouble keeping up this eating style the last couple of weeks...but believe me it is easier that falling out of the shower. ::snort::

I sat in the van and read while Josiah took out a car on a test drive. It turns out it is owned by a past wing commander of the base.

Went with Josiah for group cap and gown photos. A mom there had just heard I was pregnant. What fun. I'm blessed not to have heard a lot of nasty comments yet. We have noted, when we lived in TX before, that people down here seem to be more accepting of big families. The further North and West we get on our moves, the more strange looks and nasty comments we get. ::snort::

Josiah and I dropped by the library and picked up more books for the next few weeks of school. I saw a few I wanted to pick up to read - but then I remembered my rather substantial spring reading thing list. LOL

All in all a good day.


The younger kids and I finished up our four week study on the American Civil Rights Movement today. Chris, on SHS, posted recently that the difference she saw between Sonlight Curriculum and Tapestry of Grace was that SL was "literature based" and TOG is "history based". This helped me articulate the difference I see in the two programs. Both are GREAT programs that center on a lot of wonderful living books.... When we studied the Civil Rights with SL we had more engaging historical fiction books. I don't think we've read a single fiction counting in the grammar levels with TOG during this study. We have read some really awesome, engaging, non-fiction history books - written for younger children. *Through my Eyes* by Ruby Bridges tells the story of the year Ruby was the only black child to attend William Frantz elementary in New Orleans. This book was great. I especially loved how she brings out the role that faith played in her experiences then and now.

When I first began using TOG I really missed all our historical fiction. Now, I'm coming to really appreciate biography books. I'm also learning that sometimes those historical books distort history. ::snort::

We began a new unit in our Zoology study today. "Interesting Insects" - we shall see. I'm not totally sold on the concept.

I'm exploring new options for next year. I'm really interested in Character Quality Language Arts. I'm not sure. TOG has most of these subjects in their manual...but I like the idea of combining character studies with LA studies. I also like the programs that she's used as basis for this new program. I like it being multi-age.....not sure if I NEED it. I'm hoping to see it at the Arlington Book Fair - but it doesn't look like this vendor will be attending.

Jared has been working on 2 and 3 digit multiplication with worksheets I've made at the Math U See website. I think it's clear he'll be able to go ahead and skip ahead to fractions. Somehow he just missed that one concept in Saxon...and kept scoring high enough that I didn't flag it. Bad homeschool mommy. It happens. I've place an ad on the website of our local support group. I am about ready to simply order the fractions and alpha now so that we can begin working on the new math now.

Pregnancy Journal - 16 Apr

THIS is exactly what I hope to avoid by not telling folks that I'm pregnant until the second trimester.....I don't want anyone to have to endure the ups and downs of this season with me....and so delete if you so desire. I've debated how honest, or raw, to be here.

I've had high days. Days of extreme confidence. God has heard my prayers for 3 years that I not have to walk through another miscarriage. He blessed with Stacia. I was slow getting pregnant with this one...that MUST be because He is honoring my prayer and I'm simply not conceiving babies that would miscarry.

I also have days where it feels that fear is a very real person. I feel like it is on my heels, breathing down my neck, and threatening to pull me under some terrible pond of despondency. I want to go to sleep and wake up in a couple of months when all this will be resolved.

For the most part, I've felt confidence. I called the docs office this a.m. and reached the nurse. She said that she'll pass the message on to Dr. Laura and she'll call me back....but she also asked about pregnancy symptoms. THEN IT HIT ME!!!! I'm not drop dead sick this time. I'm not spending hours with my head draped over the toilet bowl. This should be cause for joy. I've prayed for light nausea...but now...ack...I'm not experiencing symptoms. A bit of my history - I've always felt GREAT in the pregnancies that I've lost and been sicker than a dog in the ones that continue. Fear threatened to overtake me. I finished school. I grabbed my Bible and ran for my room, after getting Stacia down for a nap. I journaled in my "written journal" - those raw things that may or may not ever make it to public. ::snort::

For some reason it seems important to leave a trail of how very precious we consider this baby to be. It seems important that there be some "evidence" of his life....even now...Of course, in the back of my mind must be the thought that if we lose him I'll remember all I thought and felt during this time...but also so that this little one knows that we are NOT simply breeders...that he is not simply "another child"...that he is an individual and was greatly rejoiced over and wanted from the very start...before we got to know him in I journal.

My prayer: God save this little life. We want to hold him, kiss him, partner with you in raising him to fulfill your unique call on his life. Please don't call us to walk a path of pain and loss again.

Ah God's word...always so close and precious.....Phil 4, James 1, Hebrews 4:16, I peter 5:7, Ps 55:22, Is 26:3, Is 41:10, Ps 139, Ps many jewels there to mine. Peace and comfort for the asking....and so I beat back the fear once again. I take the thoughts captive. I move forward and I keep a God who has my ultimate best in view, in a God who is rich in mercy and grace, a God who will ALWAYS carry me...and I specifically pray for this little life. I pray for enough nausea to reassure me that I'm having pregnancy symptoms - but not enough to incapacitate me. I pray not to pass out while driving. I pray that I walk ever closer to His throne of grace and that I receive mercy and grace in this time of need. I pray for life.


After missing the Catholic Parish Appreciation Dinner on Saturday night, I took the time early Sunday a.m. to update our family calendar. I have a calendar in MY notebook but obviously, with another adult's schedule to integrate, we need to go back to our BIG family calendar.

This is a monthly board that I use for a weekly schedule. I need big spaces. I have the days across the top. Each person has a color of pen....and all is on here....Josiah's work schedule, outside classes, chapel events, Mike's schedule, doctor's appts, play dates, co-ops etc Across the bottom I usually have our weekly menu written....but I've not come up with a menu yet for this week.

My goals for bills before Curves, Curves, make a menu, do school, grocery shop, cook dinner, graduation meeting tonight.....oh yeah - call the doc.