Friday

I suppose I should do a recap?

Breakfast, though I can't remember for the life of me what I served. Jamin tried to convince us to drink the chunky smoothie that I was making when the blender quit working yesterday. UGH. He was the only taker. ::snort::

Speech at 8:30. Miss Natalie reported that Nolan is improving. He's getting the multiple syllable thing down and that's some improvement. She had talked with other therapists for more ideas for helping with his muscle tone (jaw etc).

Produce co-op - a bit late getting home but we were done sorting in time. Jared and Jamin did have to interupt school to come help - that's the first time that has happened. I'll work hard to be sure that it doesn't happen again. LOL It's always fun to welcome folks into our home.....even when there are boxes waiting to be broken down and broccoli and lettuce leaves on my carpet.....I finished a bit late, tying up details.....

The afternoon? I think most of it was spent trying to fix lights, return calls about appliances and get Stacia to take a nap. LOL

Jamin made pizza for dinner again. Yum. He made my 12 batch of pizza sauce while I was at Mom's Night out.

We watched Madagascar and Polar Express from Netflix.

I didn't get to walk or bike AGAIN today.....Jamin didn't get to work out much this week either.....I think that this is a "not urgent/important" thing that I need to figure out. When I was on the cholesterol program I felt I had PERMISSION to neglect other things to work out.....and if I keep it in the not getting done category I may find myself with it back in the urgent category again. LOL

That's Friday...and a week! I'm going to try to convince the children not to do school next week. They are slave drivers these days.....we need to PLAY a bit more. ::snort:: The big girls will be home by this time next week....WOW....my eyes are leaking. I'm getting very excited to have all the chickadees in the nest again....and I'm so glad we'll have CHRISTMAS LIGHTS to greet them! ::snort::

MY MELTDOWN

In keeping with the post below....I feel compelled to share my meltdown at Sam's. LOL

Things were wearing on me. I'd called a chaplain who is handy and he was somewhat perplexed with my lighting situation. It really looked like we were heading to an electrician. We sat down to eat and I remembered we were out of milk again. I hopped up. At Sam's club, I must have had 15 people say "Only 10 more days till Christmas!", "Are you ready for Christmas?" etc. I got out in the parking lot and realized the bottom line is that I haven't done Christmas without Mike for 24 years and I don't want to do this one without him either. I knew enough to pray. I sat in the parking lot, cried, prayed and told God that quite frankly I was TIRED. I was TIRED of the whole thing. Tired of everything breaking. Tired of shouldering the responsibility for everyone's safety, the house etc. Debby, my lunch buddy friend, asked me Tuesday night how I was doing. She said, "you don't seem to be depressed, are you?" and I told her I wasn't. I was more angry than depressed...and that's the crux of my melt down....I realized I was angry at everything going wrong and having to "fix it all" on my own.

Then....in the midst of my very authentic communication with the Father I was brought up short. "Did *I* EVER ask you to shoulder the responsibility on your OWN?" Oops...."No, Father." Folks think I'm strong. I'm not. I'm very weak, but oh the strength of my Lord....that strength infuses me when I finally realize that I can't and shouldn't "handle it alone". ::snort:: I told God I would remember that He is shouldering the responsibility and I told him it would be nice if I didn't have to call an electrician on Monday. I'm getting tired of major expenses every pay day...... I quoted James 1 to myself all over again (which I've done a LOT this week ::snort::) and determined anew to rest in Him, to choose joy and to let HIM shoulder the responsibility.

I walked in the door still sniffling but smiling. One of the boys said, "What's up, Mom?" I said....ah I'm just having a minor meltdown...then I realized the LIVING ROOM WAS LIT UP.....and the CHRISTMAS LIGHTS WERE ON AGAIN......another living example of Philippians....."Quit being anxious, but by prayer and supplication (specific, intense prayers) with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God....." so nice of Him to take care of this silly light thing in such a quick way.

And another week is completed...time marches on....

WHY DO I POST THE BAD STUFF????

This may be hard to put into words. I grew up in a pastor's family. I went to high school at a boarding school for missionary kids. I married a pastor. I'm now a Chaplain/officer's wife...all these things have an "expected image"...pastor/missionary kid, pastor's wife, officer's wife....and God cured me long ago of trying to keep everyone happy. I've learned, through the school of hard knocks, that its impossible to please everyone...therefore, the best thing to do is make sure HE is pleased with me. Along with that came freedom....I don't have to prove anything to anyone...I simply need to walk in obedience. It's more than enough for HIM to be pleased with me....and frankly I care more about his displeasure than anyone elses.

I've realized, from teaching women's groups and mentoring various ones, that it is very common for us to want to find someone who "has it together" and put them on a pedestal. This always leads to pain and disappointment. None of us are worthy of living on a pedestal and frankly, it isn't a comfortable spot to be.

So one reason I share the bad/tough/not so perfect moments of my life is to be real. I simply wasn't good at the "image"...but I'm great at loving Jesus and loving others. LOL If you know the REAL me - I believe you will see MORE of the work of Grace in my life.....in other words if you think I'm always saintly....you will believe a lie. Second, several have emailed to say that you see me as some sort of mentor.....well....it wouldn't be fair of me to portray a life where I easily choose joy at each moment, my children are perfectly behaved, my 12 year old is accepted to Harvard, I cook nutritious from scratch meals 3x a day....you may then try to live up to a false image. I shudder to think that anyone would attempt to grow into my image.....we want to grow into HIS image....and when you see how it is possible to struggle and STILL follow hard after Him, to fall and get back up, to face fears and learn to choose joy....then God is able to take the tough times in my life and use them for good in other's lives...then I'm showing you something real and something of worth.

I share the pain of having grown children leave home because if I painted it rosy...and you expect to hit that phase and sail through it "like De'Etta did"....without knowing that I experienced incredible pain at the separation, and had to discipline myself to choose joy in the situation....well now...what sort of mentor would I be?

If I present perfect schooling....and you decide to homeschool without realizing that some days are frankly fairly ugly...what sort of a mentor am I?

Please, don't be alarmed when I share the bad or the ugly.....Of course, I'm careful. I certainly don't want to share other's ugliness....or gossip...or betray the trust of my family...but within those guidelines, I try to be real, authentic....bumps, bruises, warts and all.

So there you go....why I would share the bad stuff in such a public forum. If you hang out with me for any length of time I won't be able to keep that "image" thing going anyway - we may as well have fun, while we learn to be "real" with each other. LOL

ARGH

This is beyond humorous.....not sure what it is....maybe I'm getting hysterical? ::snort::

Jared is diagramming the lights/plugs that do and do not work. Jamin and I switched each breaker off and on - nothing. It's dark.....strange, strange, strange.

I think we'll live with it through the weekend and have to call an electrician on Monday....because it can't be normal for the light switches and plug ins in one part of the house not to be working...obviously some circuit is out...regardless of what the breaker box says...and the saga continues...

Ongoing appliance saga

I created a flurry of phone calls with one order and one email. LOL

The blender quit working. I emailed the lady I purchased it from in AK. I knew the warranty was dead but wanted to know if: 1. she's heard of this problem before, and 2. I should quit making smoothies. I told her in the email that Mike was an Air Force chaplain and I no longer lived in AK.

Meanwhile, I found the manual and my warranty was good on the motor for 3- 5 years (can't remember) and other parts for a year. Realizing the warranty was not going to pay for this, I went to urbanhomemakers.com where I'd ordered an outer ring for the Bosch the day before (this is also where I ordered the new lid for the Whispermill a few months back). They DID sell the blade assembly - no photos - but I guessed I needed a new one. I ordered. Pay pal didn't go through. I ordered again. Pay pal didn't go through. Duanne Moll (Marilyn's husband) called. They'd refunded me the price of one blade assembly because pay pal had paid them twice. Yikes! He would get it right in the mail when I told him what YEAR my blender was. Hmmm....

I had two messages that I finally had time to listen to this afternoon. Margaret in AK telling me that unfortunately Bosch went to plastic assemblys two years ago and they ARE having trouble...she would send me the part for $10 ($40 cheaper than buying it at retail). She needed my address.

The other message was from the service manager at BOSCH! He realized my warranty had expired, but he is retired Air Force and with Mike being deployed he wanted to be sure I was taken care of. Would I please call him with my address????? I came to answer emails from Maragaret and found one from the service manager...."Is this your address?" It was. He was going to send me a new blender jar AND assembly for free. He attached a photo and I was totally confused now - not sure WHAT I needed. I called him. He found my address by typing in my phone number in a search engine. Did I know chaplain so and so???? He was sending me a METAL blade assembly and I'd be able to do anything in it - it should not break again, but if it ever does I'm to call Bosch right away.

OK, now I have a free set coming in the mail, a $10 one offered to me, and one I ordered. YIKES AGAIN! I called Duanne and Urban homeamaker again. I'm so sorry. Bosch is sending me a free one and now I don't even need what I already ordered from you. Could I possibly have you cancel that and apply it towards something else I do need? Sure....he told me that he had asked about the year of the blender because 2 years ago (MY YEAR) Bosch began using plastic. They are now changing their design to take care of this plastic problem. I told him I'd been talking about adding the food processor to my Bosch. He recommended the slider/shredder for my size family. He said they've had theirs for 16 years and love it. He said that they are selling more of the food processors now but the shredder is almost twice the size....and my new METAL blender will handle anything the food processor would as far as salsa etc...so there you go....Mike I guess this could be either a Christmas or Birthday gift.....just remember I still need a "I'm back" gift...gold or tea pots, tea cups preferred. ::snort:: And, of course, the other 1/2 dz. of my deployment roses.

Electricity continued.....

I think that electricity is probably overrated....I think I could live without it on the front side of the house for a few months....candlight in the living room is nice....but then the Christmas lights are dark....hmmm....I've checked all circuits...flipped them all and still no lights....

AND I've got two messages about my Bosch part...one from urban homemakers and one from Bosch themselves.....I swear life would be simpler without electricity and appliances....but then I'd have no computer....

Electric Rampage???

Having finally beaten back the appliances, I arrived home last night to a DARK house. We drove PAST the house because we were watching for the outside lights. ::snort::

It seems that the outside lights suddenly all POPPED OFF.....guess I'd better look into that today.

Darshia, I tried the link but they need a RRN number from a notice that they've not sent me....so I'll remember to call them after produce co-op today.

On with the day...CHARGE....not to worry Mike I mean that strictly in the military sense and not in the plastic sense. ::snort::