Monday, November 13, 2006

Monday

School - We are finishing up the 20's and beginning the depression era this week in school. Today we read about flappers and jazz....we've loved studying Norman Rockwell's life. We also began working on our Thanksgiving lapbook today. I really, really wish I had a color printer....but this gives the children more to do. We decided to assemble one book and all work on various parts of it. It took me quite a bit of thinking to figure out HOW to assemble those three folders...but I got it.

Gattis - Zander had earned a family trip to Mr. Gatti's some time ago - but he forgot to claim it. He wanted to go today so we headed over there for lunch. It was a blast to watch Stacia play today. She's getting at the age where she realizes that EVERYTHING is new and FUN.

I received several more PBS books - the Brian Cleary one about prepositions and another Alexander McCall Smith book.

The younger ones were wired tonight. The older two at home were not. {sigh} I kept them separated for the good of all. ::snort:: The younger ones and I all turned out the lights and played hide and seek. It was great fun. Zander kept giving everyone away and they are trying to instruct him on the finer points of the game. Jared thought this silly and played Civilization instead. Jamin is still plodding away on school, I think. He had a hard day. He broke in the middle of his routine to go out with us and had a great time....but was stressed trying to get school done. Of course, I DID have reading both TOG selections in history - it said "or". I told him I was waiting for he or Josiah to say it was to much and we'd lighten the load. So we did. Also he simply isn't getting a lot out of the world view sections of TOG. It really is hard for him to comprehend and he's thinking it is all boring. This is NOT what I want for this subject. I'm seriously looking at other options. We have Cornerstone Curriculum, but I don't want to do that route again....and that work was even more advanced than this. He's really giving it a shot but I have to admit I find these authors fairly boring myself and I'm familiar with the subject matter. I'm considering Understanding the Times....I WANT him to study this whole topic....but I don't want to burn him out on the philosophers. LOL

After our rousing games of Hide N Seek - I read a chapter of Peter Pan and some of a Thanksgiving book to the younger ones. They are now all cozied up in the younger boys' room....Arielle sleeping in there too....listening to Mike read the "Lion, Witch and Wardrobe". I choked up when it came on "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe read by Dad" and they all cheered. I'm not sure what sort of compromise we'll come up with in the long run...Arielle can't sleep in their room every night. LOL
*Whistle Stop West by Arleta Richardson*

Today the four Cooper children arrived at their new home in this book based on their Orphan Train story. None of us are sure that it is a good home. I suspect we'll need to read book 3 and 4 as well. For the life of me, I can't remember how this series turns out. I remember reading it years ago to Bre and Krista.

This is a bunny trail that we are enjoying....

BIG FAMILY MYTH 3 - INDIVIDUAL NEEDS CANNOT POSSIBLY BE MET IN A LARGE FAMILY!!

My 15 year old suggested this topic. He titled it something like "it's always a struggle for survival in a big family". I was BLESSED that he saw this as a myth because for years (8 years old - recently) he has seen a large family as a cross to bear (my words - not his). He's a loner....and had a hard time seeing the benefits of God placing him in a large family (he's number 4). We've shared over and over that God knew exactly what he NEEDED when He placed him in this family.....and that is the crux of debunking this myth. LOL My loner son NEEDED to be in a situation where a large degree of loving interaction is forced upon him. This is not comfortable for him, but he has learned much about various personalities that he would not have learned if he was born into a "typical family". He can stay home and is still forced to socialize. ::snort:: He has begun to see that his NEEDS are met in a large family.....but not necessarily everything he would consider a need is met. We are able to let him be a loner and yet he is still learning social skills and how to interact with the whole gamut of personality types. LOL

Obviously, I'm going to go after the definition of "needs". I disagree that all children NEED their own room, their own iPod, their own car, a closet full of name brand clothes, their own whatever.....

I believe that the creator of my children knows EXACTLY what their true needs are and that He would not place them in our family if we couldn't meet those needs. He would not place within my child a need that would cause us to go bankrupt or compromise our convictions to fulfill the child's need. When there is a conflict, we look to see what the true need is and if it is one we can meet - or should meet. This boils down to trust in God. Trust in His plan for our family. Trust in His knowledge, love, and care for each of our children.

A recent example is that I strongly felt that my senior son NEEDED his father home to help him sort through all the looming decisions in his life. I felt that he NEEDED his father to be here for the completion of his time as a child in our home. God saw something different. I trust that God knows what He is doing in my child's life.

That said....we try very hard to get to know each one of our children individually. We make way for each other. When our loner needs to be alone - we all give him space. We may go to the park and give him the option to stay home, he may go for a walk.....you get the picture. Jamin gets up early to write, we all stay off the computers until he's done. Josiah hibernates on his bed to read, we stay out of the room. It's give and take.... lessons that will hold them well in life. Most of us end up with a family or roommate later in life.

I ALWAYS take at least one child with me on any errand. This is not because I get lonely. ::snort:: This is because I can then spend time alone with that child and get to know what he is thinking about one on one.

We have often made it a goal to take one child out on a special date with Mike and I every other week. That obviously isn't happening at the moment. {g}

Most importantly, we pray and fast for our children. We ask for wisdom to know what needs we are to be partnering with God to meet, and we ask God to be sure the individual needs of each child is met.

We have found the above statement to be a myth. God has graciously met all our needs in a large family.

I acknowledge that sadly in some large families this is not a myth....however, in some families much smaller than ours this is not a myth. I believe it comes down to how completely we embrace our role as parents and how earnestly we contend for our children in prayer....regardless of family size. I've sadly seen a child of one lost in his family.....and I've seen a child in a family of 7 lost as well.....

Strive to be a mother/father who is INVOLVED with your children...who is intentionally mentoring your children and hearing from GOD what needs to be worked in to each child He has entrusted into your care.
PARENTING/DISCIPLINE IN PROVERBS - Chapter 13

13:1 "A wise son accepts his father's discipline (instruction), but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke."

~Assumes that a father is indeed instructing his son - this won't happen by accident - it must be intentional.

13:3 "The one who guards his mouth preserves his life, the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin."

~Choose my words CAREFULLY

13:13 "The one who despises the word will be in debt to it, but the one who fears the commandment will be rewarded."

~Can't really tell if this is Word as in Scripture or word as in words taught from others....but in any sense...it was a reminder to ME not to underestimate the power of the WORD in my children's life and in my parenting.

~Teach my children to respect the Word of God and the word of those in authority over them.

13:18 "Poverty and shame will come to him who neglects discipline/instruction, but he who regards reproof will be honored."

~I must not neglect the instruction of my children - this is Godly parenting.

13:22 "A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, and the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous."

~Remember what we said about Proverbs being a poetic/wisdom book full of short maxims....that aren't necessarily absolute doctrine nor promises we can claim....this verse is sort of like that....I know MANY good men who have been poor and had nothing to leave to their children having grown up in 3rd world countries.....but....

~This is a good reminder that it's not all about ME. {G}

13:24 (did you think I'd shy away from this verse? Not a bit - it's the Word and I esteem the Word) "He who withholds his rod, hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently."

~The first 1/2 of this verse is most often quoted "spare the rod, spoil the child" without any reference to the rest of the verse...and modern meanings of words are used without any further study into WHAT the verse means. For further word studies on both rod and discipline click parenting and then scroll to Oct 25 - 28th. That being said...here are my thoughts...

~Since the remainder of the verse speaks of discipline (oral instruction),I take rod here to to be symbolic and not a literal branch/weapon/club. I know that some use "rod" to symbolize a wooden dowel, glue stick or striking with hand....I don't see that in my study of the word. I believe rod symbolizes authority, leadership, family connections and protection.

~So.....taking the word studies back to the verse (and feel free to read the extensive word studies I've done or do your own - these are MY convictions, they do not have to be yours - that's between you and God) I read the verse this way

"He who withholds his {leadership, protection, family connections}, hates his son {off spring - can be generic for both male and female}, but he who loves him {orally instructs him based on God and His character} diligently.
*The Complete Book of Christian Parenting and Childcare by William Sears, MD and Martha Sears, RN*

This book is offered to us by a Christian husband/wife medical team, parents of 8, and familiar to many through the La Leche League.

This book is reminds me of the "What to Expect" books that are so popular right now. The Sears cover a similar variety of topics, all from a Christan view point.

The book begins with pregnancy and progresses through disciplining and spiritual behavior in 3 - 6 year olds. I'm about 2/3's of the way through this book. . . but don't plan to read it page by page so thought I'd post a blurb now.

While I'm fairly certain I don't agree with everything in this book, this was another great find on Paperback Swap....one that I will be keeping. I think I'll put the "What to Expect" books on PBS instead. LOL