Several have asked me how I "really" am doing.
This is a TOTALLY new season. I have enjoyed older children, the freedom to meet ladies for tea and lunch, the ability to take a day here and there and go play all day....I have abruptly left that season behind.
I wasn't prepared for it to feel so overwhelming - but it's territory I remember. It's like those crazy, twilight days when you bring your first newborn home and wonder, "What did we think we were doing to be trusted with a newborn?" One is on call 24/7 alert. Another depends deeply on you. Sleep is interrupted. New routines have to be developed. Life begins to center around home. One finds ways to entertain AT HOME and counts the minutes until a spouse or child comes home to help. ::snort::
In the same way, my sleep is short. I cram every task I can into the hours when Dad naps. Until the ramp is built I really can't take Dad out, it is quite a bit of work to take him out right now anyway. My muscles ache as I do a lot of lifting to enable Dad to "stand" and "move." I've not been able to accept invitations to play. His discharge papers state he needs to receive 24/7 supervision. Now, he was not in 24/7 line of sight in the center....
Millie loves to grab wood from the woodbox |
We quickly realized the biggest fall danger dad has is his certainty he CAN walk. The solution is simply to have someone with him when he is awake. If I duck out while he is reading the paper, he is apt to forget and decide he can walk "that little bit." I've caught him several times just as he began to fall. Twice when grandkids were here he stood up without assistance. I love that - but still one of us needs to be near in case we are needed. He has horrendous bruises from all the falls he has taken. The hope and prayer is he WILL eventually be able to walk around home, with no assistance other than a walker. Currently, he needs one of us to have him in our sight when he is awake.
I am perplexed. In all the scenarios discussed with the heart surgeon, Dad being unable to move without assistance wasn't mentioned. We continue to pray for Dad's complete recovery. He IS in better spirits here at home. I don't see an improved quality of life resulting from the quadruple bypass. I see the opposite...but he still has 3 1/2 months before he reaches the magical 6 month post-surgery mark. This is the point where they consider he will have reached the level of recovery we can expect.
At home the evenings end with Farkle and MacGyver. That beats the nursing center any night according to Dad.