Friday, January 09, 2015

Another Update

Michael takes great joy in mocking my propensity to fall asleep reading a riveting book from my ipad.

This week I have come to walk in intimacy with Michael a bit more as I understand the FUN in catching a spouse "reading" while asleep. ::snort::

Michael did not come home today. He had a rough night and it is best he is right where he is.

I had M&Ms today (Moms and Mentors).  Megan has graciously opened her home to us. She has a playroom upstairs and our kids watch all the kids there - while we moms meet below. There was much more energy from the upper room - but I think we topped them for fervor in the living room.   This is going to be a fun group. Today there were 18 of us - 5 moms. Our discussion of  Desperate was encouraging and challenging as we discussed how we are not alone in this call to mother, the importance of friendship, the role of formulas in our parenting, and the fact that both we and our children are sinners - and how that should impact our mothering.  The group loves the format of a young mom baring her ragged struggles and an older mom sharing wisdom learned through the years and Scripture.   There is  something priceless in simply meeting with a small group of other women and sharing honestly about our success and struggles. Each gal will get together with another one of the gals sometime this month - it may be a play date, or a coffee date or whatever.  Sally's comments in chapter two about how she finds and create communities for herself and her children as she moves around were really encouraging and appropriate for a group of military women.  I believe each of us left encouraged. I would love to have a couple more older moms attending - I think it would provide a richness in shared views and would be fun to pair not only with  new play date friends but with older friends.....but at this point it's me and the young gals.....they chose to meet early in the morning - and while this means we "lose" a day of school - I can see this works so well for their little ones with nap and lunch.  I'm going to love this group - and so they start my list of blessings for the day. LOL

After M&Ms I took the kids home, grabbed a bit of lunch and headed for the hospital. As Michael was resting peacefully, I left in time to be home and watch a movie with the kids. I certainly didn't expect this week to go as it has - but it's been a good week - full of blessings should I choose to look for them.

Blessings:
  • M&Ms - the Moms and Mentor kind ::wink:: Still abstaining from sugar
  • Stephanie brought over some yummy enchiladas and roasted veggies for dinner
  • Michael has lost the oxygen and is awake more
  • Movie with the kids before bedtime
Choosing Joy!
©2015 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

Thursday, January 08, 2015

Day of Silence

I left the house this morning with the intention of bringing Michael home. Dr. Fahey decided to keep him another day.  It was a good call.

I spent another quiet day with Michael. We didn't talk much.....

He read Lord of the Rings
 
He tried to write emails
 
He "ate" dinner

Do you see a common theme? ::snort:: Throughout the day he lost various tubes and such. He's down to oxygen, pain pump and an IV....we went for three walks up the hall....all in all a good day. A sleepy day.

I read more from The Reason For God.  I did a bit of PWOC stuff. I talked with Gopi, our nurse.

Blessings for the day:
  • Time with Michael
  • Great care at Sutter Surgical Hospital North Valley - highly recommended and close to home
  • Days of solitude and silence - wasn't quite how I envisioned it - but it's good
  • Bowl of soup from a local café - sitting by the fountain from the Farmer's Market
  • Blanket from the warmer - love Gopi.
  • Father Frank and Ed came by with flowers and snacks - and left dinner for the kids again.
  • Arielle made muffins for Moms & Mentors (M&Ms) so I didn't have to when I got home.
Funny from the day:

The hospital has chefs. They come around in their chef's uniform to ask what you'd like for meals - a few times a day. Michael could have anything he wanted - as long as he realized it would be put in a blender before it reached his room.  Our gal asked if I'd like to have a complimentary dinner. Why not? She told me tonight was "shrimp and steak." I told her I was vegan and I'd grab something when I got home. She told me she could make me a  vegan meal. Dinner came. I had a bowl of mashed potatoes. Just like Michael's......and HE got 7-up and yogurt too. ::snort::  Cracked me up - my first chef prepared vegan meal - a bowl of mashed potatoes. They WERE good.

Choosing Joy!
©2015 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

Wednesday, January 07, 2015

Surgery Update

We left bright and early this morning for the Sutter Surgical Hospital in Yuba City.  I am really impressed with this place.  We had been told Michael's surgery would take 45 - 90 minutes. He would be out by 1000 and we'd  be home by 1200....unless.

Our prayer has been they'd figure out what is causing pain and fix it......

This center has many more options for pain management than we had available in Japan. We figured this out when they put a red band on Michael's wrist to alert all which narcotics he reacts to. They asked him what he was given in place of them and he said "Vitamin M" - Ibuprofen.  Evidently that was the wrong answer. Praise God.

Surgery lasted until 11:45. They had told me if they were able to do it all laparoscopically  it would be quick. The choices of what might happen went all the way to bad.

When we hit the 2.5 hour mark I knew they had found something.  The surgeon told me part of Michael's small intestine had adhered to his stomach - they detached it. When they did that they could see his appendix. It was "abnormal," inflamed, scarred and IT had attached itself to his stomach at the spot where Michael has been complaining of pain. It didn't show up on scans or blood work.  They removed it and we are praying and hopeful  this is the end of the pain.  They had to make a 3 1/2 inch incision next to his other zippers....but hey....it was the middle option. I'm happy.

The surgeon said the appendix "could" be the source of his pain. It may not be. We'll wait and see.....and pray.  We'll talk to the surgeon more tomorrow. I may have details a bit skewed.

They took the time to "get their hands" on lots of intestines and did not feel any tumors. YES.

They admitted him. They gave him a spinal  with morphine in it and  he is numb.....and very, very sleepy.  He's in great hands at the center. He's having a very hard time waking up and staying awake. Sleep really is best for him and they ARE monitoring to be sure his heart is staying where it should be.

I came home to spend bedtime with the kids.  I'll go back in the a.m. Praying he makes it through the night with no adverse reactions to pain meds.

Blessings today:
Father Frank and Ed  stopped by the house with chicken adobo, pork chops,  meatballs, a salad and potatoes. They stopped by and visited and prayed with us at the Surgical Hospital - and they called and said they'd bring pizza and quinoa salad tomorrow.  I told them we'd have to do this more often if we got to eat like this. ::snort::

Michael nurse, Todd, brought me pillows and blankets from the WARMER! WOW.  They are very attentive and I'm at peace being home with the kids.

I spent a quiet day reading, texting and watching this man. Praying this is the final answer.

Choosing Joy!
©2015 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Surgery Tomorrow

Just got a call that Michael's surgical look/see has moved up to tomorrow at 0730. 

Several have asked how I feel.

This is how we feel - pray for answers.  We just hope at the end of the surgery there is some sort of answer as to why Michael is in pain.

The surgeon will remove his appendix (as he still has it and that's always a fun thing to do), look around with a camera and if that doesn't help, he's said they'll do a bigger incision and start...well...removing things, getting hands on them and putting them back.  We've been told this could be same day; we've been told it could be overnight. We've been told it could be a one week healing time or up to six weeks. When you go in for exploratory surgery you sign your life away - really anything or nothing at all could be done tomorrow. ::snort::

I'm afraid to hope they figure it out, but I really can't see what our next options are if they don't figure it out. Know what I mean?

Meanwhile, I'm going to spend an hour or so wrestling with the Kids Flight volunteer schedule for our winter session.

Choosing Joy!
©2015 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

Monday, January 05, 2015

Twelfth Day of Christmas

There is much I could write about at the start of a new year - but I'm not going to. I'm simply going to share three shots from this Twelfth Day of Christmas.

 Stacia asked if SHE could hide the wise men for today. What a cheery greeting.....and she even had a REASON....."We're thankful we are part of God's big picture." Yes. Yes, we are.


Take a close look at the photo below....that itty little bit of damage adds up to $1900+ when you consider that the side panel, back door and bumper are all scraped....and that there are electrical connections for the tow and paint to be painted and blended all over the whole thing....wow. I'm pretty sure their insurance is not going to like this.

 One wonderful part of feeding fourteen people for a week is you are left with a glorious bits and pieces from past meals....and when I put them all together in the pressure cooker with some extra seasoning we had a lovely STEW for dinner.

 And now it's time for our 12th Night reading.....and then Michael and I are going to sit in the hot tub and talk - we have lots to process and have had very little processing time. No kids allowed.

 Choosing Joy!
©2015 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...
 

Lean On Me - Anne Marie Miller


Lean on Me: Finding Intentional, Vulnerable, and Consistent Community is Anne Marie Miller's memoir more than it is a how-to book on living in Christian Community. Anne states, " In writing Lean on Me, it's my desire to show you that whatever course you find yourself on, you are not alone, you need God, and you need others." I think the reader's guide and resources listed at the end of this book provide valuable input for growing authentic Christian Communities.

Anne writes honestly from the path she found herself on - divorce - and the healing that began as she reached out to form a "team" or a "community." It is interesting to me to read this from the vantage point of an introverted author.  I did find the book lagging at times - going in  circles -  and YET for someone who is walking a similar path this could be very helpful.
If you are looking for checklists and Biblical exposition Lean on Me  may not be the book for you. This book does highlight the value of a healthy Christian community.  My biggest take away is the four categories of relationships Anne shares: not vulnerable and not committed, vulnerable and not committed, committed but not vulnerable, and committed and vulnerable. Anne provides stories which illustrate authentic Christian community for each category. I found it helpful to think through my various relationships and groups and evaluate the level from which I'm interacting.
I found the title provided food for thought as well - to live in community will require me to be intentional, vulnerable and consistent. The title itself was worth the read for personal applications. ::grin::

Overall, this is a good book. I recommend it for those seeking to establish a community for themselves and for those who may be walking through divorce.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review; I am disclosing this in accordance with the FederalTrade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
Choosing Joy!
©2015 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

Sunday, January 04, 2015

Farewell to a Brother

It was only a few months ago that my brother, Mike, collapsed on the golf course with no apparent warning.  In the subsequent medical evaluations, it was discovered  he had an inoperable brain tumor.  The doctors reckoned that he would have 6 weeks on the short side to three months on the far side.  He used up every bit of the three months and then some.  My brother, Mike...  I should explain.  My father was married and divorced before he met my  mother.  This woman, Rella, already had two children, Robin and Mike, from a previous marriage.  My father, Earl, spent a great deal of time raising Robin and Mike.  Earl and Rella had two children, Earl Jr. and Kathy.  In the break up of their marriage, Earl Jr. and Kathy went to Rella.  My two sisters and I came along from my dad, Earl, and my mother, Mary.  I learned in later years that my name is a bridge between these generations in the family - Michael Earl...  So, Mike was Big Mike, and I was Little Mike - until that generated more questions than was helpful in ID'ing us since I became the taller of the two of us.  The new name was Mike the Elder and Mike the Younger.  All that is to say, my brother, Mike, truly fit the title "Mike the Elder."  He was a rock in the family.  He was wise and gracious in his relationships.  I enjoyed spending time with him and his pretty wife, Paula.  Mike was also a retired Chief Master Sergeant.  You could see this in his bearing and in his speech.  He always had a confidence and a level of professionalism that I truly respected and admired.

Earl Jr., Mike the Younger and Mike the Elder in CO a couple of years ago
 
When Earl Jr. called to let me know that Mike had passed away, I knew I needed to go out to bid him farewell.  It took a bit of time to get everyone together for the funeral (Mike's son, Mike Jr. was in the middle east), but I headed out of town on 28 December for the vigil service that evening, a funeral service on 29 December and a graveside service on 30 December.   There is no doubt - I will miss my brother, Mike.
It was a very cold day.  Temps were hovering around 0 F.  The contrast between the life Mike led and day's weather is stark, but even so, the honor he deserved for a life well-lived transcended the day's  very cold weather.

 
This is one of the Pavilions at Ft Logan, Colorado where the "graveside" ceremonies take place.  As it turned out, it was the same one that we used 2 years ago at my father's graveside service.  Here, an Air Force Honor Guard folds the flag.  After this, Taps was played and then the flag was presented to Paula, Mike's wife.  The emotions of the moment is hard to describe.  There is a finality to it that takes your breath away.  It is the final farewell.
 
 
A Navy Chaplain from Buckley AFB conducted the majority of the graveside ceremony.  I was given the opportunity to share a few words and close with a word of prayer.  I definitely appreciated it.  "Well done, good and faithful servant."  You will be missed...

Once the ceremony is complete, everyone is ushered out of the pavilion.  The staff at the cemetery take the casket to its actual burial site.
 

Earl and I spent a few minutes with our father, Earl F.  He is buried at the same cemetery as Mike - not too far away either.  The emotions of the moment are a bit overwhelming.  It was the first time I had been there since my father's funeral in 2012.  The sight of the grave stone brought a flood memories.  I really have missed being able to talk with him. 

An added bonus to the trip was spending time with many family members I had not seen in quite a while.  I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with my brother, Earl, his wife, Mary and their son, Jerome.  I also got to see Crystal and Jennie, Earl and Mary's daughters, Dominic, Crystal's son, John, Jennie's husband and even my sister, Rebecca.  Come to think of it, I got to touch base with a huge number of family members.  There was Paula and four of her children, Joanna, Kathy, Debbie and Mike.  There was my sister, Kathy and her three children, Kim, Brian and Kurt. There was also Sierra, Kim's daughter and Robin, Mike's sister and her son, Randy.  It really was a who's who of family relationships. 
 
Kathy and Earl Jr.

Mary, Earl Jr's wife, and Rebecca, my sister
Crystal, Earl and Mary's first daughter 

John and Jennie - Jennie is Earl and Mary's second daughter.  I looked through all of my pics and noted that I had missed Jerome as well as a few others.  I will be ready to catch those the next time around.

Two of Mike's daughter's, Joanna and Debbie.  Debbie came to support the family when my Father passed away 2 years ago.  I enjoyed touching base with her.

 
Crystal's son, Dominic, deserves a post of his own.  He is a walking miracle.  He fell off of a second floor balcony onto concrete.  He was hospitalized with some very severe injuries.  People from around the world began praying for him even as some very talented medical folks worked diligently to save his life.  It was good to see him up and around.  There is a long journey ahead, but hopefully, the worst is behind him...

 

Later that evening, we had a time of reminiscing.  I found myself wishing family had been closer in those growing up years.  There was so much life that I just missed.  Don't get me wrong; I enjoyed my growing up years, but there could have been so much more family in those years.  I am over half a century old and am trying to catch up on life and family.  How does this happen?

Michael - the Younger...

By Grace!
©2015 M.E.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...