Dad/Household Update

We live life fairly transparently.  I know many are praying for Dad, he's spoken into your lives over the decades as a friend, mentor, pastor, brother, uncle - you care... I will do my best to balance transparency with Dad's privacy. 

Dad has been home from the facility for a month. He is 2 months post surgery. A quadruple aortic by-pass is a big deal - made even bigger if one is 79 and has a diagnosis of dementia. 

As Dad feels stronger new challenges arise. While he CAN walk with the walker these days (an improvement from when he came home immobile), his legs (and arms) simply give out unexpectedly. One of us is ALWAYS supposed to be within arm's length. Sometimes Dad forgets this; sometimes, I suspect,  he simply balks at the dependence.  ::wink::

One afternoon, as I adjusted the gait belt for a walk, I told him he was like Peter...belted up with others leading him where he doesn't want to go. Mike piped up a loop around the house was better than prison. 

The PT and RN spent quite a bit of time this week explaining if he hits his head while on these blood thinners he can bleed out before we know there is a problem. 

Dad has gotten quite good with the wheelchair. Here he shows off his skill with doubles. 

I told him we needed to get our laps in with the walker. Um. ::snort::

Our goal is to "park the wheelchair" unless we are going outside. This will encourage more natural exercise times of walking with the walker and getting up and down etc. His muscles didn't work at ALL for a full 3 weeks post surgery. We'll get there.  He likes the wheelchair as it gives him more security and independence. It's a juggling act. 

Other than the challenge of mobility, Dad is having quite a few nosebleeds. When I check blood sugar it takes about 5 min to stop the bleeding. If he bumps his hand on the wall - it bleeds....we are to call the RN if I can't stop the bleeding within 10 min. We've been up against that time constraint many times. 

Sun Down Syndrome is real and became a part of our reality on Halloween.  After being immobile for weeks I woke at 2 a.m. to find dad at the head of the stairs, then moving to the window, in his wheelchair. This was terrifying on many fronts. The safety issues jolted me out of bed. The need for supervision ramped up. He didn't know where he was and it was a prolonged time before he DID know who he was, or where he was. He did recognize me. He told me he was glad I was here because this was scary. My heart. It was scary for us too. 

These incidents continued throughout the week. The last few nights he's slept through the night. I attribute this to prayer at bedtime, and trying some of the tips shared with us. This is the first time we've seen what they saw at the facility. We'll be discussing the cognitive breaks, vivid dreams, and hallucinations with the doctor this week. 

Which brings us to discussing Dad's mental recovery. He's happier at home. He's smiling. He's reading the paper. He holds conversations. He needs verbal cues for several tasks. He is remembering family names. He's remembered most functions on his phone. He laughs and tells jokes. He gets angry from time to time. He followed the election results for 3 days....and then decided we'd best just keep praying. 

I am becoming an OT/PT assistant - now if I could just fit my exercise in as well as I keep up on his. ::snort:: Both the Occupational and Physical therapist have given him daily exercises. I thought he was about ready to be discharged from their care. They told me they will not discharge him for quite a while and there is still a lot of improvement they think we can achieve. From those first few skeptical appointments - we've all become one team. All have commented throughout the week how he is making good progress, has good caregivers, and is lucky to be at home. They've been pleased with his progress in the past month. 

I spilled my heart about the new dementia incidents to the speech therapist on Monday morning - the first home health into our home. At the end of my story I said, "I'm sorry. You're here to check on swallowing, not all this, but I don't know who to contact about this." Um....I'd forgotten. Speech therapists deal with dementia. Perfect timing. She gave us some tips, is writing a referral to switch her treatment from swallowing to cognitive support. 

The new sun downing wrinkles brought shift work to our home. Michael and I trade off so someone is aware and awake at most times of the day....though all are slightly punchy at all times of the day. ::snort::  We've added a monitor and will have a fall alarm as soon as Amazon gets it here.  The wheelchair (which is easier for Dad to get into quietly) is no longer in his room. We can hear him as he moves the walker - because Michael rigged a soda can alarm on it.  Hey - we may be redneck but we are getting it done up in here. 

See! Doesn't he look happy to be in the middle of family activity? He helped color fondant this week. 

He helped with party decorations.

My days are full. Dad can no longer get his own breakfast or lunch. There is a lot of laundry, lifting, watching and interacting. There is a lot of checking levels...blood sugars, oxygen, heart....

I can't get a routine worked out which includes Jesus time, workouts, reading, blogging, yard work, Bible study breakfasts with Stacia, time with friends....I have attempted to be disciplined and work it out. I've not been gentle or realistic with myself. 

I attend a weekly zoom small group focusing on my wellness journey. Frankly, I wrestled with whether I should attend this week. I'm not working out. I'm not moving forward. The last 2 weeks I had to leave mid-meeting as Dad woke up and rang. I attended and sat quietly. At the end of the meeting the leader (Tamara) and one gal asked me to stay and chat a bit.  

They observed  1. I'm doing this well. I started crying.  I didn't realize my emotions were so near the surface. It doesn't FEEL like I'm doing it well. I feel frazzled and off kilter.  2. Tamara used to work in a hospital and told me to consider my early hours as shift work, and to sleep rather than work when others wake up.  For the first time in weeks I realize it's OK if I choose to sleep over a task or working out. It's o.k. if I don't lose weight just now. I'm in a transition season and I need to recognize it. Going to bed at 10 and waking up at 1:30 for the day is wearing this "middle aged" gal down.  I HAVEN'T been able to nap  during the day...but I'm prepared to do so next time Dad takes a mid-day nap. I've kept him too busy Saturday and Sunday to nap...and BTW less mid-day napping seems to help with sundowning too... and 3. I realized I lost chunks of some of the kids' childhood because I was so focused on getting "back to weight." I don't want to lose a minute of this special time with Dad because I'm fussing about weight.  We'll figure it all out. 

On a personal note, I am learning to walk in TODAY and not worry about TOMORROW through all this. In our discussions with various professionals about Michael's Parkinsons I've been determined to get healthy so Michael can stay home when we're "old"  rather than going to a facility.  I plan to be the little old lady who can bench press 200 lbs, and lift her 6 ft husband without a thought. As I take on Dad's care, and fight the exhaustion, I began to think, "There is NO WAY I CAN DO THIS FOR MICHAEL."  And that, my friends, is the enemy of my soul, trying to wiggle his way into my soul with lies and fears when I'm in a tired state. Those thoughts are captive to the lordship of Jesus and I'm going to focus on walking this season well, learning all we can in this season, rather than fretting about what a future season MAY look like. LOL 

One last thought...Dad has some amazing friends. Thank you to those of you who call or listen when he calls....thanks for laughing at stories from past decades, helping him recover a detail or two when he stumbles, and not pointing out when he shares the same info with you 3x in one call. You all are the best - our family appreciates you. 

We checked this system out again on Saturday. It still works. Glimpses of outings to come. 

I think we've all made remarkable progress in one month. I bet we have this thing flying high by this time next month. 

Sunday

Nolan worked at McDonalds. Krista drilled from home - virtual drilling - it's a thing. It's not a GOOD thing - but it's a thing during COVID. Michael, Alex and Stacia went to church. 

Dad and I watched last week's service from OUR Alaska church and last week's service from our OREGON church....

Michael and the kids brought home a "picnic" so Dad and I could 
"eat out" too. It was nice. 

Aaron and Elise came over. I enjoyed visiting for a bit while Aaron smoothed out the ground where the ramp is being built before it could freeze.

We have had snow, then an afternoon of melt, and refreeze and more snow...and the deck and stairs down to yard were TREACHEROUS. Today was 40* and RAINY....I got the deck and stairs cleared. 

We had the same weather-induced problem with our driveway. Michael "squeegeed" the driveway.... We call this our TX snow shovel. LOL 

It was a valiant effort. It began snowing while he was out there. Heavy, big, fat flakes. 

Honestly, we brought Dad home early the week we had set aside for fall cleanup.... snow began.  It usually snows, warms up, snows, warms up before winter really gets a grasp on us. It has stayed cold this year until today. We may settle for a giant breakup clean up this year. 

Look @ the snow coming down

The girls and Dad watched Christmas movies. The guys played video games, read, and prepped for their early work day tomorrow. Michael wrote, I blogged.... 

It was a nice Sunday. 

The Ramp

Why don't you build a ramp? Are you building a ramp? CAN they build a ramp during the winter? Why don't you pay someone to build a ramp? Why isn't the ramp done?

These are all questions we've been hearing. No doubt, life WILL be less complicated when we have a ramp.  So here's the scoop. 

At first we were told we couldn't bring Dad home without a ramp. Michael talked a contractor friend - a man of God who loves us and whom we love  - he and his wife. They talked the 2nd weekend in September. Dad had just moved to the facility and we were told he would be there at least 2 months. Aaron gave us an estimate. We gave the green light. There was no big rush. 

Dad began falling in the center. We told them we'd be bringing him home as soon as we got the ramp done.  After the 2nd ride to the ER (and the 7th fall) we had those conversations where we insisted Dad be "discharged a month early," regardless of the ramp. 

In other words -WE sped up the time table of the need for the ramp. We also proved we could bring Dad home without a ramp - we just couldn't leave home again. LOL We brought Dad down the back of the house to the basement door, and took the stair lift up to the 2nd floor. That only worked because there was no snow or ice on the decline to the basement door. It snowed the WEEK we got dad home. If we'd waited, he wouldn't be home until the ramp was finished. 

 Aaron came over and worked on parts of the project as weather permitted... we ran into things like the ground being frozen solid, clay that had to be dug out before concrete could be poured, which ended up requiring a truck to bring much more concrete.....

As Dad feels better he wants to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! I understand. It WILL be easier to juggle schedules if Dad can come WITH me to run errands. We will both be happy to be back at church. It will give us peace of mind to know if we need to take Dad to the doctor we don't have to call the medivac. I'm desperate enough for social interaction I may take him out to lunch with me and the girls. LOL 

Dad begins most mornings asking, "Is that young man here?" ::snort:: 

Yesterday the answer was, "Yes."  He was here in the bitter cold, working on the ramp. There was more ground that needed to be thawed...but the platform is done....the concrete pad looks nice and is done. He couldn't smooth out the ground because it was frozen solid....

He set up a warming tent again around the frozen ground and warmed it up....after church he was back here smoothing out the ground before it had time to freeze again tonight.  

He'll be back tomorrow to work on the ramp. I'm not sure if it will all be done tomorrow, but he says I'll be able to get Dad down the ramp by Monday night. Dad has a doctor's appointment on Tuesday. ::snort:: 

I attempted to wheel Dad out of the house to the landing so he could watch yesterday. I had a "spot of trouble." OK - so it alarmed Michael and Aaron...and they are thinking of another element to make it easier to get Dad over the threshold...I guess it may have looked like I was going to lose control of Dad and send him down the steps. I quickly learned to back over even small bumps...but the space is tight and I thought we could manage a small bump in the road. 

There's the story of  "the Ramp."  

We Have a Winner

It's official. Team A - Dip-netting wins the 2019 Gherkin Gingerbread Competition.  

These gals are excited to see how many adventures they can give Mr. G before the next competition...

Krista, Stacia, Arielle & Mr. Gingerbread Man

After some discussion it was decided Mr. G would go home with Arielle. It appears he may be the ONE visitor during COVID who makes it in to see Arielle and "Turkey" at the birthing center. Baby is due Nov 24th. 

Happy Saturday

 This morning began with a 5.1 quake not far from us.  This was followed by a couple of 4. aftershocks and another bigger one an hour later. The memories. My heart and prayers flew back to Japan - a country still deeply in my heart. 

Izaak came over and cut one of our dead spruces for firewood. Bre and the kids came over too. 

The cake looked a bit bedraggled but the kids were excited to see it and the decorations I'd not put up yet. I quickly got out candles and we had a "Happy Saturday" celebration. Most of the cake, itself, hadn't been eaten. 

Bella is 4 1/2

This boy's smile! 

Gideon @ 3 1/2 years old

Annie is 21 months old

Eating chocolate cake is worth pulling out the paci. 

Bre is due Nov 20th. Soon and very soon....Baby D4 will be here....

Bre is 35 - see I can do numbers

Annie thinks if she covers her eyes we can't see her! LOL  We ended the night playing a rousing game of Farkle. 

The ramp is taking shape, we got to visit with BreZaak - a good day it was. 

November's Birthday Bash

He loved his cake

The prep was done. We waited for Jamin and CoRielle so the party could begin.

When Benny opened the door I yelled, "Happy Birthday." He was extremely excited...jumping up and down and yelling back at me....he had a card for Papa. 

Benny, Papa and Auntie Co-co

Playing catch the dino egg. LOL 

I'm not sure who is having the most fun. 

Uncle - come look at my cake!

Photo by Arielle 

Yes - it was the affect we were going for...

Arielle has a darling video of Benny singing along....here's a still shot. 

He blew, and he blew, and he blew, and then Papa helped. 

Ah, the pig hat. For over 25 years birthday celebrants have worn ye old pig hat. For these joint celebrations one grabs it...Papa is a good sport.  Benny returned the favor of help and blew out Papa's candles. He was on a roll. 

Getting the frosting off the dino's foot. 

"Turkey's" arrival is getting close....by the end of this month. Arielle wanted to have Benny's birthday over before the new one arrived....so we celebrated a week early. All is ready now....

Photo by Krista

We missed those who couldn't make it tonight - but it was a great night. Pre-schoolers are a blast....

Photo by Krista

Party Prep

Stacia loves playing in the kitchen. She does a great job and has become a good baker. This year she's launching into cake decorating. By way of a disclaimer....neither of us have ever worked with fondant. We probably should have played with this earlier in the week. Of course, we'd miss the adrenaline rush of decorating the cake the day of the party if we did it that way. LOL 

I wanted to "help" and we ended up making a good team. Stacia said she was nervous when it came to putting the fondant on the cake. She'd done the research. I provided encouragement, and I actually lifted the green fondant onto the cake... Stacia was off and flying solo. 

 

Aren't these trees darling? 

Arielle picked up some decorations for me earlier in the week. Making a Target run would take more juggling than I could handle this week with Dad's care and therapy appointments. Arielle brought decor by and stayed to help. Krista picked up some great dino things at Walmart for me....I miss running out...but it's all getting done thanks to a wonderful tribe. 

Moving the cake

Benny wanted candles. That's it. We hit on the dino theme and I had Krista pick up sparklers along with a birthday candle. We put sparklers at the top of the volcano and down through the lava. 

Stacia did a great job! I think I'll have her make more birthday cakes....I KNOW the family loves the ice cream cakes, but a variety could be fun. 

Everyone got into the fun of decorating....

We've had these chair covers for 25 years. We  had a wall hanging that lit up, it fell off the wall and broke today. The pig hat is also 25 years old - and if you don't know what the pig hat is - read the coming birthday post. 

It is an amazing blessing to have a built in Great Grandpa to share these moments with us. All those years living as vagabonds, moving every 3 years, we never even dreamed of having all the kids nearby AND Mom or Dad living with us. I thought it was something we gave up when we followed Jesus into the ministry lifestyle we've lived. 

It turns out Josiah and crew can't make it tonight. Livie isn't feeling well and they don't want to share with Dad. BreZaak aren't coming. It's close to baby day and they don't want to take any COVID chances.  Nolan is working. It seemed like a good date when we picked it. LOL We're still going to have fun! 

Dad decided it was time for a rest break. He called Uncle Walt and enjoyed a fun visit...lots of laughter and stories. BTW - those are NOT balloons - they are dinosaur eggs. ::wink::

We decided not to fill this guy with candy as  the other grands weren't coming, and he's too big for one kiddo...He became a welcome dinosaur and went home with Benny at the end of the night.  Maybe we'll fill him and break him open in the spring....

Michael is 20x Benny's age....He'll be the big 6 - 0 on the 17th. I may need to have another party....I guess we'll have to see what happens with the COVID stuff in the next bit of time. Note the photo of 4 year old Michael....He was actually 4 on the day Mom and Dad got married. 

We did it. We were all ready for the party....and realized it was us, CoRielle and Jamin. We put one of the pizzas in the freezer and we'll have cake for a bit of time. LOL