Things are Happening

 Big things are happening with our youngest two girls.  These years are amazing....the senior year hits with fuzzy plans....and before you know things are falling into place and they are flying high! 

Allie is about to wing across the continent participate in the film program she's been accepted into. OK - not until fall - but it feels imminent.  Stacia has decided to finish her Bachelor of Artgs degree and then pursue a Masters in Teaching English as a Second Language. 

Of course, our thoughts and conversations visit the upcoming separations....the girls have solved the problem of missing each other. 

It just may work! They'll have to try some practice runs. Treat any large boxes coming your way from Alaska with great care. 

If this works, my friends, I may begin shipping myself all over the world. Prepare to receive shipment. 

A Depressed Dog, a Sprained Ankle and a Therapeutic Exercise

Millie does her best to nudge Michael into getting up. I find it hilarious when she gives up and joins him for a snooze.  She misses her college girl. I think she gets a bit depressed. 

My one goal today was to finish my victim impact statement and get it mailed into the Department of Corrections, so my words can be included in the pre-sentencing report for Josiah's murderer. I have been DREADING doing this. The first two questions were fairly easy. There were tears as I shared how his murder has impacted me, how things have changed and then I hit question number 3. Share what you'd like the judge to know about your loved one, share memories, anything else you want the judge to know as he or she considers sentencing.  Whew!  My thoughts swirled. I knew I would need more than the space allowed. They encouraged you to add a page as needed...so I did.  I had so much I wanted to communicate to the judge. At points in the trial, it felt like Josiah's life had less value than the defendant's right to a defense. The state has the burden of proof. This is good - but I didn't expect a defense lawyer can say hateful things which defamed Josiah's character without proof. But they can. I wanted the judge to know Josiah's life had value; he was a good, caring, loving man, and he mattered. I began writing...

Allie came home early from work. In the midst of breaking up a fight between a pure-bred Doberman and a mutt, she was thrown to the ground and injured in the tussle. Michael took her to urgent care for a check-up.  Allie came home with an ace bandage for her acute sprain and strained ligaments AND most importantly a note for work.  (Note *I* am being dramatic; Allie had to be persuaded to go to the doctor). 

I continued to write and edit. We have been told we can speak at the sentencing, but we can't speak directly to the criminal and must direct our words to the court. I wrote much of what I want to say to HIM while telling the judge what I thought about various things, and I realized I COULD speak to him while addressing the court. snort:: This turned into a therapeutic exercise; gut-wrenchingly hard but therapeutic. My voice will be heard. I was allowed a bit of power in sharing who Josiah was; what the community lost with his murder, and what I think needs to be done. 

Yes, I DID need additional pages! 

I fixed and served dinner. I hadn't spent much time outside today so I walked the packet down to the mailbox - 1.5 mile walk. 

It's on its way. 

Stacia came home with a friend, Lonicera, and they took Allie's mind off her aching ankle. The girls will be in Lonicera's wedding in June. 

This is my favorite shot. 

We enjoyed the brief visit. Millie is a bit perplexed by Stacia's comings and goings.

How I Raised Them

I've become a rather lousy blogger and I apologize. Allow me to share a few excuses. ::snort:: The holidays were tough following the anniversary of Josiah's loss, I've been processing the whole political season local and national, and I have also been processing broken and lost relationships... That covers Nov - January.  February arrived with the trial and THAT sort of processing...the long and short of it is I'm finding my way back to a new normal. This is not to say I have "moved on," rather I am learning how to travel well with my new companion named "grief."  

My counselor pointed out I'm starting to do "things" again, and they are brining joy rather than exhaustion. Michael and I have begun planning for a couple parenting workshops we have been invited to facilitate.  We are attending a local care group. I have begun attending a Ladies Bible study at Wasilla Community Church, the church Cory pastors. This has given me the joy of not only attending Bible study with a great group of ladies but also being able to sit under our daughter, Arielle's, ministry. Good stuff. 

Since it seems grief isn't going anywhere far, it is time for me to learn to blog with that tenacious companion. 

Here goes!!!! Today, Krista and I met at that favorite of all shopping places - Costco. Many were there to stock up against the impending eruption of Mt. Spurr.  We were there to purchase a couch for KrUke to take with them when they move.  Their unaccompanied baggage will be packed out in April, so it was time. It makes me sad as I'm about to lose THIS Costco buddy. 

Krista treated me to an "80% less sugar" iced chai and lunch at Yak and Yetti. YUMMM - Nepalese food. 

We fought through the Costco crowds and finally checked out with a full CART of groceries, and two flatbed carts loaded with three big boxes containing their couch. We had thought we could load them into her jeep and my mini-van, I brought Mike's truck "just in case." By this time, we realized it was a good thing I had brought the truck.  We were told associates would help us load the truck. We TOLD him the taller, square boxes should be on the bottom in Mike's truck and the long, thinner box on the top. He refused. 

I really think these should go in first!

I kept offering helpful comments such as, "This does NOT look good." Krista offered physical assistance. 

No, I DON'T feel good about this.

He threw the boxes up there and ran for the hills. He said he couldn't help with strapping them down. We threw a couple of straps on, and Krista did the snap, "That's not going anywhere" test Mike is famous for, I snapped a photo and texted Michael. Michael began blowing up our phones. At this point we agreed there was NO WAY I was driving THIS back to the valley on the HIGHWAY. 

Can you even imagine?

We discovered none of the boxes were small enough yo fit in Krista's Jeep, so she went to base to get Luke's truck. AND here is the point of this story. 

I raised my boys (girls too come to think of it) to offer assistance when you see it may be needed. I am amazed at how many men walked or drove by laughing and making silly comments but not offering to HELP us move these three heavy boxes. One even said, "You were loading those an hour ago when I went in." Krista laughed and said, "Yes, yes we were."

I raised my girls to figure out how to get the job done if no one offers assistance. 

 First, we began sliding and dropping boxes from the truck bed onto carefully positioned carts. 

Krista corralled a man walking past and asked him to please help us with just the one long box. He helped get it into the back of Luke's truck. We only had to slide it in...Krista pulled and guided, I pushed....

Our next challenge was getting Krista out of the truck. 

We lifted the other boxes back into Mike's truck and strapped them down. It was a much better solution than the original leaning tower. Krista followed me out to the Valley. 

Alex and Nolan met us at home, and they made short work of unloading into KrUke's storage shed. We're all ready for the packers. 

Stacia is house-sitting and dropped by about the time Allie got home from work. We played 30 minutes of "Tell me without Telling Me,"  before the girls disappeared. GG went to bed. Michael and I spent a delightful evening in the hot tub. 

Ellie Turns One!

 I am determined to get March's entries published. Eventually, I will get Noah's 2nd birthday and Josi's first birthday blog post published, but I can finish March if I go out of order.  Note Arielle had better photos than I - though I have about 30. I used hers. 

Ellie turned one on March 24th. Here are photos from March's family celebration. 

Stacia made a smash cake; we decorated the highchair and blew up balloons. Wala - a celebration. LOL 

Charles, Danny, Arielle, Ellie, Benny, Cory

Josi turned one last month. These girls' personalities are cracking me up! 

Cousins! Josi & Ellie

Something was funny! 

Sunday Fun

The morning began early when GG woke up and declared he didn't feel well and went back to bed. I stayed home with him. Allie drove herself to Eagle River for church as she planned to stay late. Stacia had homework and planned on coming back to the Valley after lunch. Michael picked her up from her housesitting gig and they made it in time for a rip-roaring sermon which concluded the marriage series we have been enjoying. 

Everyone grabbed take out lunches and convened at Carrie's to catch up and connect. Look how LONG Josi is getting. 99th percentile.

Liv, Josi, Allie 📷by Allie

Michael and Stacia came home. Allie joined the rest of the crew for a leisurely walk through a few Eagle River neighborhoods with Jared. It was a lovely day to knock on a few doors. 

Jared, Krista, Noah & Jamin, Luke, Alle 📷by Jared

 

Visiting Beit Tikvah

One thing we LOVED about our military ministry was being able to worship with believers of ALL PERSUASIONS...from Catholic to Charismatic.  We were excited to be invited to attend Beit Tikvah (House of Hope), a local Messianic Synagogue in Palmer. They had contacted us and asked if we'd be open to participating in the mourners Kaddish for Josiah. One of their members, Joseph, is a friend of the girls. 

I found the service deeply meaningful. I grew up in multi-lingual churches and it was fun to be in a service with a few languages spoken (Hebrew, Aramaic, English). I was happy for English translations. The worship was thought-provoking and moving.  Praise dancers...yes, this wasn't invented by "us".  However, the worship leaders and the dancers were at the back of the congregation. I'm not sure if this is always true or just due to space with this group...but I loved it. I began misting as we sang Amazing Grace (Chris Tomlin style) and lost it when we moved into "Faith to Believe" by Shane and Shane. Y'all those words are IT. 

I loved the devotion to Torah. 

The Rabbi did a great job of explaining parts of the service that would be new to visitors. His homily was solid from Exodus and John.

They did not call us out or put us in the middle of a circle or anything like that...in the part of the service where we prayed the Kaddish we simply mentioned Josiah's name at the right time...as others mentioned the names of their loved ones. The prayer, and service, focused on who we know God and Jesus to be...in good times and hard times. They are comfortable with mourning, and it was good to be seen and reminded...even in the mourning, the pain, and grief... God is good, holy, merciful and gracious and always near...and to pray for grace to believe in the hard times. 

They ended the service with blessing the children - I loved it! We stayed for a dinner afterwards. I bet two couples who live out by us. It was a lovely evening. I'm grateful Joseph reached out with the invitation. 

Go, Benny!!!

Benny is playing soccer! He has an enthusiastic fan club!  Michael stayed home with GG as we knew the walk/bleachers would be hard for GG to maneuver.  From around the Valley and Eagle River the rest of us converged on PJMS to cheer him on! 

Benny is in blue on the right

When Benny saw I was there he said he'd try to make a point for Bachan! I was proud of his hustle, sportsmanship, and awesome game face (above).  Watching him score was icing on the cupcake for Bachan! 

 He certainly had the biggest and most charming cheering section. Thanks to Bre for catching the spectator shots! I do believe Annie was created to be a cheerleader!

Annie & Bella

Aunt Allie, Trudy, Gideon, Annie

Annie & Uncle Jamin 

Jojo, Aunt Stacia and Bachan in the far distance

Bre, Gideon and Trudy fixing Gideon's hair

Stacia, Jamin, Me, Arielle