Saturday at the Gym and a RANT

 I wasn't sure I'd be able to fit in a soccer game today - but it worked. I was glad to attend as Arielle had all the littles today. What a blessing to be able to be a part of their lives. 

Arielle, Ellie, Charles, Danny

Ah the cleverness of Ellie Rae. Look! TWO teeth!

Benny has had a theory/superstition that blue always wins and whichever teams wears the white jersey will lose. Today, his theory was disproved. White won! Though, of course, as an enlightened Bachan I know we don't care if they win - it's about everyone having fun - but I do like a good soccer win (as a Baby Boomer LOL). 

Benny

He plays hard and he did kick that ball. 

Yes, sweets, Bachan saw! 

Meanwhile, back in the stands Bachan is thinking the game ended JUST in the KNICK of TIME. 

Charles, Danny, Bachan

Lyra and Arielle

I am going to go on a rant, because some of y'all need to HEAR ME, bless your hearts. Cory was prepping for his first Easter as a lead Pastor (and it was an amazing service btw). Arielle took the kids out to eat and then to watch The KING OF KINGS. A JESUS movie...where one would expect others to show the LOVE of Jesus. Remember, grace? 

They went to sit in a row that was empty. A middle-aged woman - one who should know better - threw her coat over the kids/the row and said, "I have reserved this row." No.she.did.not. No one came to sit in the row.  The kids were not being bad. They were simply trying to find a seat at a KIDS JESUS movie. 

Arielle moved to another section with enough seats, on an aisle so she could get out if need be. That means there were FOUR seats between the aisle and the millennial lady sitting in the row. As Arielle went to sit down the lady made it known she likes her "personal space" and asked them to move, actually touching one of the children to move him in the process. Oh, it's a good thing I wasn't there. I suspect the Bachan Bear may be more deadly than the Mama Bear...and this behavior is hitting on my kids and my grands.  

Arielle moved to a third row. Keep in mind she is a lone mom carrying a baby, with 3 boys following her. They move to sit down. As one walks to his seat, he bumps into the seat in front of them. They sit down. THAT woman turns around and tells him to "quit kicking my seat." and continued to sigh and turn around to glare at little boys. They were still getting into their seats. Arielle POLITELY said, "We are still settling. This is a Jesus movie." 

NOW...y'all. What is WRONG with us? Can we not REMEMBER being a young mom? Can we not show the GRACE, MERCY, LOVE, INCLUSION Jesus showed while at a KIDS JESUS MOVIE to kids and a young mom????? What if Arielle wasn't secure in her faith and was trying to have a fun outing with her kids? You think these behaviors would make her likely to venture to a church with her kids if supposed Jesus lovers at a KID'S MOVIE can't accept her and her children? I can't even. 

Women, we can do better than this for each other! We can. I LOOK for the mom in the store with a strong-willed child and tell her she's doing a good job. I go out of my way to find young parents and compliment them and thank them for investing in the next generation.  I track down and encourage the young father on the flight from Hawaii who had a sad toddler. He told me this flight had the nicest people on it, a man had encouraged him too (he'd met Michael). So, WHAT if they bump me, or crowd me in a theater! I can't even imagine. Like I said, it's a good thing I wasn't along. 

It feels like many need to be reminded the OLDER WOMEN are to be encouraging, teaching and loving the younger women. All of us would do well to remember Jesus welcomed children.... And this was a movie for CHILDREN - can we not extend a little grace. 

All this being said in WALMART - not in a Jesus movie - one reached out and slapped a woman walking by. They are working on impulse control. Arielle immediately apologized, stopped the cart, told him we don't touch others or invade their space. The lady complimented Arielle on dealing with the behavior immediately and encouraged her in her parenting. Same young mom; same four children.

Ladies, come on. We can do better. Speak blessing, encouragement, grace. If your grace isn't big enough to handle children in a theater who aren't even acting out, it's not big enough for... well you finish the sentence. Honestly, I just wanted to say to the ladies, "Do you even KNOW Jesus?"

Be like the lady in Walmart and not the three at the Jesus Movie.  Shaking.my.head. 

Allie is Twenty-One

 Allie turned 21 today!!!! It's a big milestone.   I spent the morning at a gym with Arielle and the kids and running a couple of errands. Stacia slept in. Allie spent an hour observing society for a college assignment.  We met back at home and opened gifts and loved all being home together. 

Allie is a great gift-giver. I laughed when myself, and a couple other Gherkins, mentioned, "We have to up our gift giving game!"  It's hilarious Allie does not SEE herself as a great gift-giver.  It was fun for Michael and I to brainstorm how to bless Allie this year. Stacia has had her gifts ready for months; they were wrapped and ready before she left for Japan. 

She actually was quite surprised, but I didn't get the camera ready in time, so we staged this. ::snort:: 

Stacia remembered Allie loves unwrapping gifts. She wrapped this little gift at least 25 different times....in the end the gift was a pair of kintsugi earrings. She also got Allie a wood carving or burning set - I think a burning set and a carving tool?Also, a game called Anarchy Pancakes. 

All the paper and laughing started Millie barking.

We focused on things Allie will need as she leaves home for Virginia. We knew a tea station in her new apartment is a must.... a tea box. 

We also got her a couple of fun t-shirts. This one is perfect for Allie. LOL 

Keep Talking - I'm diagnosing you

She's a little more prepared to leave home: an Zojiburshi hot pot, a couple boxes of one of her favorite teas, a tea box, game, tools for her hobby, kintsugi earrings, a pottery mug with mtns - to remember the mtns up here, an extra fine mesh tea strainer, a couple of t-shirts (each with messages to remind her of home) and a hair brush...because look at how long her hair is getting. 

This has been a year of tremendous growth for Allie, and we are incredibly proud of her. She realized the career course she was on wasn't "her" and had the courage to make the change to another career path and university which requires a move outside of Alaska. She then put in the hard work to get all the prerequisites out of the way by taking online courses this year while working full time and has been accepted into the Film Production Cohort at the university of her choice. She'll come away with a Bachelor of Arts in Film Production, (with an emphasis on screen writing), having worked on several production projects. She has accomplished all this while we are still reeling from the aftermath of Josiah's murder, trial, victim statements etc. She has kept a balanced life with time for family and friends alongside work and college. She has also continued the very hard work that comes with therapy. This girl is on fire!!! It was fun to celebrate her today!  We love you, Allie. 

Nolan and Alex popped over later in the day. We caught up with each other and happenings around and about us. Alex helped Michael burn a bunch of stuff. Nolan helped us set up tables for tomorrow's Easter Party. I've made the deviled eggs, and salad today. We are well staged for a family celebration. 

Jamin and Jared arrived, and we had a pizza bash followed by games. We'd planned to have peanut butter milk shakes per Allie's request, but we were all too full when it came time to make the shakes. LOL 

Stacia, Jared, Michael, Jamin, Allie & Nolan
Alex was zoning and I took the picture - GG went to bed

Krista & Luke are Moving - Somewhere....and more

Krista and Luke are moving. The packers arrived today to pack their unaccompanied baggage. The irony is due to "military wisdom" they are not 100% sure where they are moving. They have been planning to go to Okinawa, but that is in a state of flux. Nonetheless, packers were scheduled, and they came.  They will hold their things until they have a sure location - one wouldn't want their household goods in Okinawa if one's body ends up in the lower 48. ::snort::   We have some of their things stored at our place, so we got the fun of being involved in one last military move - 10 years after retirement! 

Oh, the memories. It was fun to be an observer. What military member, or spouse, hasn't watched a group packing and thought, "It would really be so simple if you removed x and put y and z in it's place. 

Nuska - short for Matanuska - stands guard! She kept the free range chickens from the truck and the packers in their place. 

Nolan came over to visit - GG took the chance to get help with his puzzle! 

Allie came arranged to swap shifts so she could come home early and go to Eagle River with us for the Good Friday service. Nolan, Krista, Carrie and I believe Jamin met us there.  It was a meaningful and moving service. One thought that stays with me is where Jesus says one of the disciples will betray him. One by one the disciples ask, "Is it I, Lord?" Only Judas asks, "Is it me, Rabbi"....Judas saw Jesus as a good or interesting teacher. The others saw Jesus as LORD. Think on that.  And this quote from Pastor Brian... Do I want God to remove me from hard situations or am I praying for him to remember me...

Such a good sermon - one more. The one criminal on the cross did the following 4 things. I can't find the link to the Good Friday sermon. If I eventually find it, I'll link it here. 

Stacia DID get home at 1:40 a.m. (tomorrow morning I guess). Michael and Allie stayed up and went to meet her rather than dropping her car off. I woke up enough to welcome her home and settled for catching up on Saturday. 

An Empty Square!

I was thrilled to see a square with not one thing written on it on the calendar.  

Dad filled the day with newspapers, biographies and puzzles. 

Millie is missing Stacia dreadfully! Stacia will be home midnight on Friday. 

Honestly, I read a book. I did the things for family that keeps our household functioning. I puttered around the house. I sat in the hot tub in the rain.

The ADRC (Aging & Disability Resource Center) called back this afternoon. As I talked with the nice lady on the line I noted when I spelled my name - she pronounced it correctly. Hmmm. She commented, "I went to church with a lady named De'Etta."

"Really. Where?" 

"The Military Chapel." 

"Then we know each other. I'm Chaplain G's wife, De'Etta. I didn't catch your name." 

TONI - TONI from the Gospel Service at Elmendorf AFB in 2002. What a small world. We enjoyed a quick catch up on where she and her darling daughter are these days. Here sister, Val, was a ministry partner and friend when we were assigned here. 

Unfortunately, the interview I had done a year ago - part one in this process of getting Dad some help - expired TODAY. We have scheduled a new interview for Monday. This proves that I really HAVE been working on this project for a YEAR and still am not through the first qualifying application with Medicaid. 

I hopped right on the laptop to let Dad's Care Coordinator know that I HAD heard back from ADRC and scheduled a new assessment interview. 

As I went to send the email, I noted a new email in the in box! The notice we've been waiting for.  Nearly 4 p.m. and I found out they had DENIED the Trust AGAIN. This time the lawyer used the template he was sent by THEM. He simply replaced names and dates. I called the lawyer. I've not heard back. This will be the 5th time he has to draft; I have to register with the court and submit an amended trust to the state. I see why the lawyers on the ADRC list all told me they are no longer doing these trusts. I also start to wonder if someone in that state office has something against us specifically. This has entered the absolutely ridiculous zone.  LOL 

2 Days until Someone turns 21. 

One really long, long day until another someone is home - o.k. probably early morning of the 2nd day. LOL 

Things that Make Me Go Hmm...

Michael has been reminding me we need to renew our passports.  We MUST get this done before we go on a road trip this summer. Remember we can't make it to the lower 48, or even our state capital, without driving through Canada.  Michael set down to begin the renewal process. His passport expired 3 years ago.  MY passport is good until 2029. We thought we got them at the same time. ::snort::  I DID have to collect everything to get Dad a passport when he moved up here in 2019, I must have renewed mine too. 

Michael was busy going to get a photo and filling out forms. 

I took Millie to the groomer. 

I was out, Dad was fed, and Allie didn't have to be work until 11. I went ahead and ran all the errands I didn't run yesterday. I bought some groceries, dropped off library books, picked up a Sunday and Wednesday paper for dad (the only days the Anchorage paper is printed), went to a couple of shops where I had things earmarked to pick up for someone's birthday. Someone is turning 21 on Saturday (Shhh - it's Allie).  I was thrilled to get a notice that all the online orders are arriving between now and tomorrow night. 

Michael made this for me. Do you know what it is? I LOVE it. I've wanted one just like it since we were newly married reading the Chronicles of Narnia to each other before we had children. 

I did NOT want a wooden prop, I wanted a REAL, fully functional light post... I looked around town and came up with some ideas and Michael made it happen. Our family room has a Narnia theme. Michael tried to convince me to install it in the orchard or the woods behind our house. We compromised. This one is in the family room. He is free to create more and install them outside. 

I need to create and place Tumnus' packages and a red scarf on the arm....it makes me smile. So many happy hours reading to the kids on couches around the world... I want our home to be welcoming to grands or I'd set up Tumnus' tea party downstairs... but not the stone table. 

I concluded the day at Bible study with Arielle and the ladies. This was the last night for this study on Daughters of Grace from The Daily Grace Co.   The study was meaningful and I especially enjoyed being part of a multi-generational group of ladies all growing and learning together. 

My "Final" Counseling Session or Tuesday in Alaska

I awoke with lots of energy. I got the kitchen cleaned, turned some moose meat into taco meat, made Dad breakfast and lunch and blogged. 

I left for my last counseling session with a list of errands to run and things to do afterwards. Wow. I was wrecked after that session. Our last. I decided to come home for a good hug from Mike and cry instead. We hugged and cried. 

 The thing about grief is one thinks they've reached an equilibrium. This hurts, it's hard, but I'm healing. I can carry this forward....and then something happens that sets it all spinning again...and a new level of loss is discovered and must be processed. If I'd had my last session a week ago, I would have been confident we were cruising from here into eternity.  It was good to have this happen to be able to discuss it with Josh today, rather than having the cheery "I've got this!" session for a final session. LOL He reminded me that the void in my life is Josiah, and there will always be this void of our missing son... I'm trying to describe this - words fail. It's a profound sense of loneliness. I'm lonely for Josiah. My life is really good. I love each and every one of my people. I'm excited for the good things happening in our family.... mission trips, moves, new friendships, new community and studies. I'm still deeply lonely for the son I cannot see and touch. The son I cannot get an update from. I've known him over 1/2 my life. He is missed. So much. 

I AM healing, but the wound is here and there will be new discoveries of loss that bring pain and that's o.k.  I'll process and deal with each new grief storm as it arises. Josh suggested a few more points in life where grief may be stirred into a storm... it's good to be prepared. I could tell he was right as each occurrence he mentioned brought fresh tears. I am reminded I am in relationship with the ONE who walks on stormy waters, the One who speaks to storms, and they calm. He sees. He knows. I know He is here with me, with us. 

Michael and I ended the night by spending 2 hours in the hot tub. 

Tuesday in Japan - Stacia

 Well - now. Here's an assuring note to Mom from Stacia.

"I live. Too much to report. More later."

 Stacia will write more when she has more time. And so....I will share this photo which google photos popped up...

Four-year-old Stacia on April 14th -  15 years ago.  These rice paddies were by our house. We'd walk through them and by them to the local markets. 

Many know our family planned to return to Japan after Michael retired in 2015. It's one of those bittersweet full circles to see past Stacia and current Stacia in Japan. We can't wait to hear the stories in full. 

Stacia has sent more words. LOL 

Tuesday was our first campus ministry. It was hard. I learned I don't like cafeterias in any part of the world lol. This ministry is mostly about making conversation with strangers. It begins the relationship. It's very important but goodness I don't think I've been quite so nervous in a long time. I overthought EVERYTHING.

And we get to do it again today (Wednesday). Pray I actually talk to people this time. Yesterday I was struggling to participate. I reverted to a very quiet state. I am determined to try harder to talk more. Being able to start conversations is a life skill I want to develop. Timps are always welcome!