ALRIGHT - WHO IS IT???

Someone forgot the "not incapacitated" part of the prayer. I think 20 minutes a day would be enough to reassure me. Let's not go overboard with this 24/7 stuff. ::snort::

Seriously, today has been a rough day. I've been real sick most of the day...and the dizziness isn't making it easier to cope with. I'm trying to eat every few hours...and I'm remembering to drink so I don't dehydrate....and I'm smiling because I'd say pregnancy symptoms have finally hit.

Wednesday!

Talked with B a couple of times about getting her luggage. Her departure date from the base has moved up - so I'll need to go pick her suitcases up tomorrow.

We're having a homeschool support group book sale on Saturday and I really want to pull a few things together to sell. I need to find time online to find retail prices and then adjust. Is the going rate still 50% of new if it's used? I've noticed a lot of things going for higher than that online.

Our first PWOC project night is coming up - and I can't find the box that had the photos from our trip to AK and the first year up there. I'm going to have to figure out a different project for the night. The terrible thing is that there is a project I'm wanting to work on for a friend and the photos are in THERE. WHERE could the box have gone?????

Took Jared to get a haircut. Bought groceries at Sam's.

I still can't get a card reader to work. Mike will be home soon.

School Today

I received *Five in a Row* today from Paperback Swap. I need to look it over and see if/how to incorporate it into our school. I don't really "do school" with Zander but have wanted a bit more structure. I think even partially doing this with him a few times a week, will be that "special time" he craves with me.

Arielle watched a lesson and did 4 MuS worksheets in 10 minutes. She aced them all. She then aced the test for that lesson as well. I warned her that eventually we'll have her in the "right spot" and it WILL take longer. At this point the lessons are really great for her because of his trick for quickly doing say 9's and 8's...but it is review.

I didn't get to couch school today. Really, it's o.k. since we've already done 3 weeks of TOG this week...but it has made me think I need to reconsider my schedule. I can't have this going on for very long.

I'm sick - really sick today. I've had lots of phone calls - and I could ease that up if I simply didn't answer the phone during school time. I had errands I HAD to run (milk)...this week has been TOOO busy and it's only Wednesday. I don't do well when I have THINGS on the schedule that I have to be out outside of our house. They take over my focus and our schedule. I know folks that are amazing and can run all over, keep house clean, school on track...and I simply can't. I've proven that to myself over and over. I'll begin by getting to Curves 1/2 an hour earlier...I think that will help. I'll not read any list mail or moderator messages until AFTER couch school - that should help. ::snort:: Not sure what else I can do. I'll pray about this. I do NOT want to end up shorting school on a regular basis - been there/done THAT. LOL

Thinking Blogger Award

Dorothy has tagged me for the Thinking Blogger Award. Dorothy shares life in England, gorgeous photos of places I dream of visiting, and deep insights of the process of sliding into decrepitude. I'm honored that she chose me. I started my blog to chronicle our daily life for far away friends and family....and then I discovered it was a good place to share whatever took my fancy. I'm truly surprised others read it. I'm touched that my ramblings seem to communicate something - at least some of the time. I'm also perplexed.

Here's my problem. For the most part, I read blogs to relax! I also read mostly SHS blogs but if I tag only SHS bloggers eventually they'll run of those to tag. I'm going to try to pick "non SHS" blogs so that others who are tagged on SHS still have a blog pool. ::Snort::

1. Jodi - is the first one who explained blogging to me. Her blog helps me think through the issues and daily life of the autism spectrum, she has given me glimpses into the vegan lifestyle (yes, you CAN still EAT), and has demonstrated how to incorporate fun into our homeschool. Jodi is a constant source of encouragement as we seek solutions for Zander. She truly exhibits the old wisdom that often we walk our paths, in order to help others who follow behind.

2. Trish - my friend from our assignment in Anchorage. She challenged me to be sure that women leaving my Bible Studies were not "stuffed with fluff". Mostly her blog makes me think I need to find my pictures so I can scrapbook...but she also shares great info on fibromyalgia (which Trish has) and reminds me to "rejoice in everything". Trish is a great thinker in real life and that comes through in her posts (from felt purses to bearing fruit with a chronic illness).

3. Large Family Logistics - I'm sure they've been chosen a zillion times and no longer participate - BUT I continually find food for thought at this blog, as well as meal tips, laundry tips and more. "The art and science of managing a large family."

I've tried ya'll (YES - I KNOW there are two ways to spell this and I checked with a life long Texan - two of them - they said to spell it this way ::snort:: Let's NOT go there again - ok?) but I mainly read SHS blogs...SO....I tried not to pick 5 and make it harder on them to find 5 - but ya'll are on your own. ::snort::

4. Kristine's blog makes me think about curriculum, books, and gorgeous spots to visit. I've been trying to get a family here to start a GH bakery...I've been craving GH for two weeks. Kristine's last post is about Great Harvest - so I pick her. ::snort::

I've counted at least 20 other SHS blog friends that I could put on here. Please know that I read and enjoy all your blogs...but I must choose one more blog here and get on with the day.

5. Debbie in NY - this family makes me think about how wonderful family is. How awe-inspiring that families such as theirs will go miles away and bring sibling groups a second chance at happiness in a new home, together. Debbie has made me think about HOW I juggle a large family, how hard it would be to add 3 at one time....and shes done it with GRACE. You've done amazingly well this year, Deb - and so I choose you for my 5th entry....

If any of you would rather have your link removed from my blog - please let me know. I'll leave your name and remove the link. LOL

This meme seems to have originated with the *The Thinking Blog* (A quick skimming of this blog leads me to conclude that though his blog may make me think, I do not necessarily agree with all his conclusions). Here are the rules:

Should you choose to participate, please make sure you pass this list of rules to the blogs you are tagging. I thought it would be appropriate to include them with the meme.

The participation rules are simple:
1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
2. Link to this post (his original post on the award)so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog).

Book Review: "Fragments of Isabella..."

*Fragments of Isabella: A Memoir of Auschwitz by Isabella Leitner and Irving A. Leitner

I began hunting for the adult books by this author after reading * The Big Lie* - a children's book which she wrote about her family's experiences during WW2. You can see my review of that book here.

This is a SHORT book. It's a POWERFUL book. It's a REAL book. It's a PAINFUL book. I feel it is IMPORTANT for the books written by holocaust survivors to remain in print...unfortunately, many are no longer in print. The words are carefully chosen. The author states that "each word in this book stands for one hundred other words that were too painful to express" and I got that sense as I read.

In 1939 Isabella's father left Germany to try to find a haven for his family. He helplessly watched WW2 engulf his country of Hungary while he fought for visas for his family. His wife and 6 children were eventually sent to Auschwitz. The mother and youngest sister were immediately selected by Mengele to die. The mother's last words to her children were "live". The struggled to live and survive and this book documents their struggle. In the end 4 of the 7 that were deported are reunited with the father.

I recommend this book, though it wasn't full of the hope and happy ending that say The Hiding Place has. I have unearthed the second adult book written by Mrs. Leitner and will read it soon. I'm hoping to find healing as she moves on through life. *Isabella: From Auschwitz to Freedom*, Published by Ex Libris is available from Amazon.com. This is different from the other books in that it contains new materials plus the other two earlier books. This is the relevant title that is print. Available in hard cover or paperback. (I found the orginal two used).

I couldn't help comparing this book with Corrie ten Boom's book. This book was shorter and somehow more "vivid"....both relied on God for strength. Their relationships with God are different. Corrie relied heavily on her daily personal relationship with God to forgive her captors. This contrast was vividly seen in a retelling of a situation in 1975 where Isabella is surrounded by Germans of the age of her captors that remind her of one guard. I do NOT find fault - only point out that she was devastated and wanted revenge of some sort. Corrie encountered an actual guard who had beaten her and her sister...and was able to forgive. This whole time period boggles my mind. I'm amazed at the courage and strength of the survivors to live.

This was another spring reading thing book. I'm thinking of moving my list to the top of the blog until June so it's easier to find and mark books read....I'd like to figure out how to cross out books from the list. LOL

Tuesday - Just Another Day

Curves - they kept telling me I looked awful and asking me if I was o.k. I was, I'd only slept 4 hours.

School - finished but I kept falling asleep. Arielle (9 - almost 10) finally suggested I let her finish reading *The Files of Mrs. whoever*

Nap - I went to put Stacia down for a nap. I woke up an hour later on my bed (not where I'd started). Stacia was not in the bed with me. ::snort::

Bible Study - there were a group of men in our room and I prepared to politely kick them out. Our Catholic Parish Coordinator chased after me and got my attention. It was the Bishop and she felt terrible she forgot to call me about switching our location. NOT a problem....we got to eat the leftovers from the Bishop's spread. I was really thankful she caught me before I told them, "I'm sorry but we've reserved this room. Your time is UP!" ::snort::

Graduation - Josiah took the slide show with music on a jump drive to the cooridnator. Seems many are having trouble with power point. With the girls' graduation we could use whatever program we had (Windows Media). Anyway, it's out of our hands...hopefully THEY can get it on to a disc...our computers simply won't do it...unless we rebuild the slide show in the Burner software - and THEN it wouldn't be in Powerpoint again. LOL

Family Reading - I read two chapters of Jamin's books to the children tonight. Arielle asked Jamin if she knew that he hated chapters that ended like these - that it's torture. He shared his sketch book with them to help them figure out what a merrix looks like...

Going to bed - not even reading email or blogs.

I'm reading *The 7 Pillars of Health*. The first pillar was water - got it down. The second was - sleep. Oops. The 3rd is food - I have that fairly well down....but that sleep one I must work on, especially now as I'm exhausted 30 minutes after waking up. ::snort::

Surrogate Mothering....

BUT I already HAVE a houseful of children to mother!!!

OK - now that that is off my chest.... I made a CONSCIOUS choice 2 years ago to leave many of my leadership/mentoring/ministry roles behind. I had become over-involved with ministry outside of my home and needed to focus on my children. Yes, I teach a small study now...but I WAS teaching 3 - 4 studies a week for quite a bit of time. I've carefully evaluated each activity to come our way. I've made sure it won't interfere with school, it is something that will benefit my children, and that there is TIME to become involved. I've been quite content to put most of my focus on the ministry of mothering.....and I sense that God has been pleased with this as well. Sometimes, the children wish I'd get out a bit more. ::snort:: Sometimes, Mike misses me being a very active helpmate in the chapel...but all in all it's been good. I've been focusing on mothering MY children!

I'm finding more and more, as my children interact with their generation, that there are peers of theirs who are looking for a mother figure. I've thought about it. I've failed to do much. I was asked by one of my daughters if I'd sort of adopt one of her friends....I never lived in the same town, I didn't really know her, I've prayed, but it has been easy to let it slide....I'm busy with a new baby (now 20 months old)....this amazing young woman who has tenaciously followed Christ to Guam deserves a Christian Mom who will not only pray for her, but take an interest in her life.

We've had a student attending Bible Study. She's had some rough times. I've stayed late and visited. I've given her rides. I've prayed. I haven't had her over. I haven't called her as often as I should. It's so hard to tell which students are wanting mothering and which are enjoying their first taste of independence. Anyway, this dear young woman has run into some hard times. She's leaving our base as of Friday. She's sad, hurt, disgruntled. She talked tonight about how hard this has been for her. We didn't realize her mother had died 3 years ago. She said, "I have no one to call and I only want to discuss this with my Mom." She said several times, "I need a surrogate mother. I know I'm 26, but I miss her and I need a mother figure." So...what am I going to do? I'm going to do what others have done for my baby girls as they left home and moved into the world in WA. I'm going to mother this young woman. I'm going to remember how very much her own mother loved her and how very much I would want others to mother my babies if I were not here. I know she's leaving our base, but you can be sure I'll keep in touch. I'll have her luggage so surely, she'll get in touch with me?????

I know I'm tired. I know I have a full ministry here with my very own children...but I can't turn a deaf ear to this huge need that I see over and over in young women of this generation. They need to experience a mother's love.....Can we doubt that the "simple" act of mothering is in fact a ministry to our children....and quit easily to their generation???? I've always felt that my passion was to mentor other women....increasingly however, I find YOUNG women being attracted to me...just as I enter decrepitude (right there with you Dorothy!). I'm really surprised...because you know I AM old...and old fashioned and PECULIAR. It's hard to say what's on my heart. I guess I'm realizing that I need to continue my focus on my children...but I need to be willing to also look beyond my boundaries and see who else God is placing in my life that really needs the loving touch of a mother. Not in any way to take away from my mothering of my children - I've been there and I'm pretty aware of situations that are going to have a negative impact on the mentoring that I must do at home. Obviously, if I expend all my energy mentoring women and other young women and neglect my OWN children...I've failed.

I think I'm leaning towards reading "The Ministry of Motherhood" for our first book discussion.... LOL