Faith?

I've been thinking a lot the past few weeks about faith and surrender. I've journaled extensively. I shared a bit on the blog about being held and about contentment. I don't plan on transcribing my journal - but I am ready to share a few thoughts on faith.

I've been fairly widely exposed to diverse views of the definition of faith. It seems to me (and I've been doing a lot of reading in the word to check myself on this) that faith is not a dictating, demanding spirit which guarantees things I want from God. Faith, I believe, is a strong and vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is God all by Himself (LOL line from Yada Yada). It's a strong and vigorous confidence built on His nature. Whew - I feel preaching coming on - but I'll check myself. God is so good - ALL THE TIME!!!!

I've really looked. Yes, we are to specifically request things we'd like from God with a heart attitude of thanksgiving (Phil 4), but that is not the same as declaring that I will get what I want. I've seen a demanding, stubborn, self-centered spirit being passed off as faith. I don't mean to be harsh - simply stating something I've observed for a long time in churches. I have no problem ASKING for the things I'd like to see God do....I believe that is biblical. I have a problem DEMANDING that God do things MY WAY in trials, crisis or even just daily life. So often, I simply don't know what is best in a situation, even when I'm sure I DO know what is best. ::sigh:: I don't see how God will use my crisis to bless and mature others. I see MY viewpoint but I don't see what He is at work doing in the kingdom/church. If I could choose, would I be tempted to choose my comfort over what God may do in another as I surrender to His plan and His life is manifested in the midst of the trial?

I've been chided for saying that God's will will be accomplished....but there is STRENGTH in surrender. It's only as I surrender to what He is doing that I begin to experience peace. Oh, I still pray Phil 4 - but I also pray to be content where God leads. I consciously choose joy (satisfaction with His provision) because I'm commanded to. I can choose to surrender. I can choose to be content. I can be real with God and know that He is not appalled at my emotions. I can pray as Jesus prayed "take this cup BUT not my will - YOURS" and I believe THAT is faith. Faith to trust when I don't see the outcome...when life is uncertain maintaining confidence that God IS always certain.

I've read "My Utmost for His Highest" for years. I'm hit and miss. I don't read every day - sometimes I miss weeks on end, ok. MONTHS. Sometimes Oswald Chambers seems to pick a phrase from a verse and write a whole devotional that is great but doesn't match the context of the verse chosen..... all that to say that this week I've picked up this devotional. I've been amazed at the topics this week - habits.....good stuff...the habit of affliction. HUH? Anyway, a quote from today was such a confirmation to my spirit.

"It does not matter how much it hurts as long as it gives God the opportunity to manifest the life of Jesus in your body." YES. I greatly desire and have prayed for years that others would see Jesus in my life. That He would shine through - because for years and years that is NOT what they saw when they looked at me. If that is my prayer and my goal, then it's not really up to me to gripe when He lovingly uses pain to answer my prayer.

And, "May God not find complaints in us anymore, but spiritual vitality - a readiness to face anything He brings our way {or that comes our way}. The only proper goal of life is that we manifest the Son of God; and when this occurs, all of our dictating of our demands to God disappears. Our Lord never dictated demands to His father, and neither are we to make demands on God. We are here to submit to His will so that He may work through us what He wants. Once we realise this He will make us broken bread and poured-out wine with which to feed and nourish others {or a drink offering for your faith as Paul describes it}. " May 15th - My Utmost for His Highest

Isn't it cool that God would have me pick up that devotional at the exact time that I've been reading, meditating and journaling on the same topic? I could have been in August and who knows what it would say. ::snort::

James not only tells us to choose joy, but promises that properly surrendered trials will accomplish things in my life and faith....and he promises that we can ask for WISDOM to walk through a trial. My prayer at this point is wisdom.....wisdom to walk the paths that God has chosen. Faith to continue to surrender to His plan - with a thankful attitude.

Today - while it is still today

I had a PLAN but nothing went as planned.

Mike forgot his boots - and one can't change into their uniform after PT without BOOTS. I ran to my bank to deposit some checks. Ran to the base to deliver boots and deposit some funds into the chapel account. I then turned in paperwork from our Ladies Luncheon. I had the 4 little ones with me. At the bank I was told that someone had checked my balance inquiry and tried to withdraw money with my debit card - in NC. I cancelled it. We went to the BX and bought tape (to affix photos onto the display) and picture frames.

Came home planning lunch and then work on board. Ended up taking Jamin, Nolan and Zander to Chick Fil A - as noted below. Went to pick Cy up from work. Began scrapping. What a MESS - this house is too small for these sorts of projects. No room for dinner as the kitchen was taken over with STUFF. We decided a celebration for Jamin's 1st job was in order. Went to Mr G's. Back at home Mike took all the kids to play softball. I worked on project.

I forgot to call my doc about going to get another urine culture...tomorrow. Oh - did some school too.

Scrapbook Therapy

A dear, wise friend, Melanie, suggested that I needed some scrapbook therapy. The idea is that I needed to fill my mind and surround myself with pleasant, happy memories. It works! (Once you get over all your pens being dried out, the blades to your cutter being missing, and the baby spilling milk on the prints). ::snort::

We printed out digital photos for Cy's graduation table last night and this a.m. (had to go buy new ink and paper as our cartridge had dried out since the last use LOL). I planned to pull photos from the albums too....but it quickly became apparent that I had WAAAY to many photos for the board....Josiah suggested I throw the 40 - 50 that I couldn't fit on the board on the table in front of the board...we compromised with getting a sleeve type album and putting that on the table. LOL

At one point, I seriously considered doing something "scrappy" with the contact sheets and calling it good. ::snort::
Ideas began to gel. I cut out titles and let myself be a bit scrappy on them. Overall, I refrained from froofy....not Cy's style at all. {g}


Here's the nearly finished product. I still need to take photos of our CURRENT home for the bottom left side....I also need to buy a gold gel pen to write labels of towns for the "homes" section. I may put some do dads in some of the blank spaces.

MY GUYS

A moment of pure mama braggin! Josiah had told Jamin if he was going to apply for a job, he needed to do it now. Zander, Nolan, and I drove Jamin to Chick Fil A to turn in an application. We were told that if Tim O was going to interview him it would be 45 minutes. His interviews are quick for those he doesn't plan on hiring. So......we bought an Oreo Shake (to split) and sat down for the wait....... In less than 5 minutes Jamin was following Tim O into the back room and setting up his first day. Jamin has his first job. He really debated about this because school is very important to him, but he's also trying to earn money to get to World View Academy in the fall.

Jared went out this afternoon to scare up a few lawns to mow. This is a hard way to earn money - it's hot! He also does windows. Jamin discovered that you walk an hour or two to find one lawn to mow...though by the end of the summer Jamin was getting calls back. Jared found another lawn to do! Every $20 will help.....I'm very proud of him for being willing to work for World View Academy and not expecting us to pay for it....though I considered paying because I REALLY want them to go! ::snort:: When Jared got home and counted his fist of $ bills he realized the man had overpaid him $1. He is on his way BACK to the house to give the man his dollar back. I'm a proud mama today!

AND...Josiah brought me a yummy Chick Fil A brownie home from work....

(Back to my photos)

More Mother's Day

These arrived today - thanks Mom and Dad. It appears that the florist's computer died. He couldn't retreive orders until someone came in today who could show him how????? Anyway - thanks. They are beautiful.

A package arrived from Mike's parents. They sent a darling little mobile for the new baby.

Mother's Day

Our day was a bit different this year. I am not feeling "great" and we had to juggle around Mike's chapel schedule. The chapel thing is fairly common, but having me not up to attending all the shindigs with him is not. LOL Mike took the older 5 with him to Sunday School. I stayed home with Zander and Stacia. They came home after Sunday School and we had a nice lasagna dinner. Then Mike ran back for the Gospel Service. When he got home we opened gifts. I got to talk to Mom and Mom Mary (Mike's Mom) yesterday.

This is my second mother's day with the girls away from home. They both called. Bre had left signs with Josiah to put around the house....a nice surprise.

I've been working on creating various files for slide shows, for printing, etc. I hope to get Josiah's display board done in the next day or two. THIS is what I SHOULD have worked on at our last PWOC Scrapping Night. ::Snort:: Debby and Mandy are scrapping pros - they would have whipped it out in no time for me. Oh - not really a mother's day gift per se...but Mike bought me a jump drive. I've already used it to compile files of photos from the various computers and such. This will be very handy since we don't have our computers networked. He bought Jamin one too to store his book and school work on. Last week Jamin lost SIX weeks of lit and history discussion questions when a disc he had backed them up on suddenly quit working. We are jinxed around here.

Here I am with my "loot". I got flowers from Mike and from the children. Arielle made a couple of bright and cheery cards. Nolan also made a card. The rectangle box is a digital photo frame!!!!! from Mike and the younger 4. Have you seen these? We put a card in it and it scrolls through the photos. We can add MP3 files....guess we'll wait and let Bre figure that out this summer. ::snort:: I LOVE this gift. I can put photos that are on the computer (as in not scrapped yet) on a card and in this frame and we can enjoy them. IN THE LIVING ROOM...not quite the same as sharing photo albums on the couch but certainly a step in the right direction. ::snort:: We'll have this at Josiah's graduation with photos scrolling through it. Cool.

Jamin made FIVE loaves of bread for me today! This is GREAT. I've resorted to store bread the past few weeks and there is SOMETHING in it that is setting Zander off. Jamin also thinks that he can't work out as strong when we are eating store bread??? I've simply been to sick to bake. Poor babies. I went online and almost ordered bread from Great Harvest. Why, oh WHY, doesn't our town have a real whole grain bakery????The older boys gave me two seasons of WALTONS! YES!!! Josiah was scheduled to pick it up after work. He ended up having to close. Mike, Jamin, and Jared went for a 2 hour run last night. Duh! I thought they are just to dedicated to this running thing of theirs. ::snort:: They ran to the mall, got the car, drove to buy the CD's, took the car back to the mall, then ran home! My men! Keepers all! Arielle and Nolan made these darling foam magnets at Sunday School today. They have a clothespin on the back - with magnet. I can clip things and such with them. Currently, they are holding my calendar on to the fridge.

AND we totally demolished one of Mike's famous ice cream cakes! Yumm! It was Stacia's first and she approved. Zander was upset when he heard we were having cake instead of ice cream - because we always do ice cream once a week on Sunday night. He was 1/2 way through his piece when he said, "Ummm....this tastes like ICE CREAM!" ::snort:: I was too busy eating to snap a photo of the cake before it disappeared. I guess he'll have to make another!

Book Review: The Ministry of Motherhood, Introduction

MM - Intro Study Questions

I've debated if it would be better to have one entry with all the questions or 5 entries - one for each question. I guess we'll try it this way and then see what happens. I'll put my intial comments after the questions.
1. What purpose do you think God had in mind when He designed the role of mother? Have you ever specifically considered that, in becoming a mother, you have actually been called to a ministry? In what way does that concept change how you think about your role?
I think woman was meant to help/encourage a man to stay on the godly course God had set for him. I believe that woman was given jurisdiction over the home and that would include mothering. I believe mothers are, therefore, to partner with God and husband to mentor, teach, train, protect and prepare the soil of a child's heart for a life-changing relationship with God. I think a mother SHOULD be one of the first to teach a child about trust, unconditional love, forgiveness, mercy and grace.
2. Read Ps 127:3 - if possible, in more than one translation. What does this verse imply about the ministry of motherhood?
Children are gifts from God - all children. I don't believe, as I've heard some teach, that we can invert this verse and say that miscarriage, infertility etc are God's curse on individual women - and I'll leave that thought there.
This verse says to me that if I believe the word then I must believe that every child in my home (regardless of his gifts or disabilities) are gifts sent from heaven. Therefore, they should be treasured, valued, appreciated, cared for....and not scorned or resented for the work or discomfort they may bring into my life. ::snort::
3. Proverbs 31:10 - 31 paints a vivid portrait of the life of a godly woman. Describe what a Proverbs 31 life might look like in a modern context. What parts of this description do you find particularly inspiring? Which areas pose a challenge for you? How do you think these reactions relate to your ministry as a mother?
This woman would be intentional in the care and training of her children. She may homeschool, she may send her children to school....but she would be involved (my sil is a great example of a Mom whose children are in public school who is extremely aware and involved with her children's teachers/school/principal etc.). She would take the time to prepare nutritional meals (ouch), she would help help her children to be clean and clothed, she would make wise budget choices, her husband would trust her, her children would bless her. In my opinion the Proverb leaves it open that she may or may not work outside the home...but she will CERTAINLY have her home as her top priority and will work in the home. ::snort::
4. Read Proverbs 14:1. In what specific ways can a woman in this day and age build her house or tear it down? If possible, give examples from your own observation or experience. Then list four specific ways you want to build your house by ministering to your children and making disciples of them.
Tear down: allowing junk into her home via TV, movies, books, music, computers - in other words leaving her children to interact with the culture with no guidance or boundaries. Having a bad attitude towards her husband. Allowing sin to grow in her own life. Screaming and being unmerciful consistently to her children. Gallivanting all day rather than looking to the ways of her home. Or even doing GOOD things to the harm of her priorities at home. Spending more money that her family can afford causing her dh to have to work several jobs or forcing herself to go to work....out of control spending is what I'm thinking here....not simply not having enough $ to stretch the budget. LOL
5. Write out a plan for ministering to your own children using the acronym GIFTS List at least one goal for each letter.
I think I'm going to have to think about this and let it develop over time. I have our current projects with the children.....and they fit into these areas. Our overarching family goal is to show our children what it means to love the Lord wholeheartedly and to love others as ourselves....that would fit into some of those categories...but I'm not quite ready to write out a whole new system....gotta pray about this.