Thanksgiving Eve

It's no secret 32 bodies (11 of them under the age of 8) makes for beloved chaos in an open plan living room/dining room/kitchen split level home.  When we originally moved to Alaska, family gatherings were 14. God has blessed us and in 7 years we have grown to 32! That is amazing! More than doubled! and we had fretted we'd NEVER have grandkids as our friends started having grands.  We've looked for good ways to use the space as the family has grown.  Summer and fall is EASY. We have a great yard with lots of things to do and explore. Winters have been more of a challenge. 

This year our children have loved me well!  By the time they had all signed up to bring food I only HAD to do a turkey and a salad. Carrie and Arielle had said they planned to come early to help set up, clean, whatever.  That gave me time to think. 

I told Michael I thought it was time we put some tables downstairs as we'd outgrown the through the dining room and across the Living room plan. We discussed pros and cons most the week. We LIKE having everyone at the same table. The ever-lengthening table really isn't conducive to conversation however with some people at the front of the house and spread through to the other side and AROUND.... In prep for winter gatherings, we had begun talking about renting out a church hall or the train depot monthly...but that involves a lot of moving parts we didn't have energy to engage. We had the luxury to continue to THINK as our brains were free from shopping lists, grocery trips and cooking for three days. 

I woke up this morning with a thought....Our basement has 3 rooms, a bathroom, the laundry room but the central area is a second kitchen and family room. We haven't used the kitchen as a kitchen since CoRielle moved out four or five years ago. I DID have tables with pantry items organized in the space and a craft table. WHAT IF WE MOVED THE PANTRY AND FURNITURE OUT? We'd have one big multi-purpose room. We could set 4 tables and 2 kids tables in the space. At this point I thought the food would be upstairs and we'd have to go up and down with food....we ended up moving the pantry. This allowed a buffet table by the "warming oven," and plenty of seating space. 

Michael was game. We moved the pantry. He had to run to an appointment. I moved the furniture - all stuffed into the spare oom and it's narrow hallway. 

The bachelors had told me they were bringing 2 televisions and a bunch of Nintendo controllers for the kids to play with downstairs - their suggestion for curbing the chaos. I let them know the basement would be set up to eat in, then we'd take table down and play a family game and then set up the tvs and games. 

Nolan texted to ask if we would like him to come over and help move tables and chairs. YES. I was sure we HAD time to do it all, but I knew Michael and I were already feeling back strain from moving the 50lbs of flour and oats around. 

Spare Oom before the furniture moved in

Michael came home with a small table to move the freeze dryer to so that table could be utilized, and a highchair to put together. We'll probably get another one from a thrift store if we find one cheaper. This one was reasonable. We have 2 2yo's and 2 7–9-month-olds so two highchairs won't hurt.  Nolan put the highchair together, helped Michael carry the chairs in from my van, and assisted us in settling on an arrangement and then setting it all up. 

I went on a snowy trek across our yard to find the kids' picnic table. Our guess is Trudy and maybe our three 4 year olds can sit at it? Arielle is bringing another table for the 7 and 8 year-olds. Liv will sit at a big table and if Kaelyn and Rylin are with us, they will too. We've got a plan. LOL 

I went shopping and found the fall housewares 90% off. I scored some centerpieces for $2.50. 

The other kids table goes to the left of the tables you see below, around the alcove where the picnic table it. 

The tables were set up! This always took TIME on the morning of a dinner! It is so much nicer to have it done the day before. 

I actually love putzing around in the kitchen with the kids. We had time so we made a Texas Trash Pie. We decided it was far too rich for normal sized pieces.  Allie was still at work at this point. 

These two played cribbage and Michael and I sat in the hot tub. 

I am feeling sad - but prepared. An unexpected pro of trying this is Michael plans to get shelves built under the stairs for the pantry so we don't have to move all the food out and back once a month. I'm not sure where all the stuff currently stored under the stairs is going...one step at a time. 

GRACE NOTES:

1. HELP from adult children...cooking, set up, hauling things...love in action. 

Deep Thoughts from a Shallow Mind

 Two Three thoughts, or streams of thought, are chasing around my head this morning and so I will get them down and possibly revisit them at another time. 

1. HOW can anyone possibly think we have the "idyllic family life?" I have been open and honest about our family, in person and online. We have ups and downs. We have successes and failures. We have vast differences about all manner of political, spiritual, and cultural issues, and yet we respect and love each other. We find ourselves in a time when we long for community and have little energy to seek it. For God's sake, our son was murdered, and we are all picking up pieces as we live with the consequences of another's choices...and still some comment on how "perfect" life is for us. Life isn't perfect! Life is hard. I suspect it's supposed to be hard. God carries us. He's near. Life still hurts.  As an aside anyone who has spent time with us would assure you, we are NOT remotely a 1950's family, and no, we are not patriarchal...though we do love and respect Michael...as he does for each of us. 

via google photos

2. It is quite possible to be incredibly grateful, to look for grace, to see God at work and to STILL grieve. Do not assume tears or prolonged grief means a person is not grateful. Do not assume expressing thankfulness and grace means a person is not grieving. Do not assume joy and grief cannot co-exist. They can. It's odd, but they do. 

3. Another thought I am processing this morning is that my habits can move me toward God or away from Him. I'm examining habits. 

That's all - more deep thoughts from a shallow mind. 

A Sledding Adventure

Stacia invited a group of friends from college to go sledding at Clarke Wolverine.  

She loaded her car with sleds, extra snow gear and off they went with my warning to be safe ringing in her ears (I'm pretty sure she was remembering my exhortation).  

At some point in the afternoon, whilst I was envisioning the fun, I received a phone call from Stacia. 

"Mom, I biffed." 

It didn't take long until a friend took over the phone. Stacia wasn't stringing coherent thoughts together. She told me she was fine, but she wasn't o.k.  Her friend, whose name I cannot spell, said she'd flown off the sled, landed on her back and somehow her face got involved too...she had a gash on her eyebrow but what was most concerning is one eye reacted to light, and one didn't.  Hmmm...now visions of googly eyes danced in MY head. 

I had GG and dinner...I tend to under react in these situations and so I got Michael up and off he went to a spot which was new to him. LOL  Someone in the group can drive a manual and they would get Stacia's car to the college. Stacia and a friend walked back to the car and waited in the parking lot for Michael to pick her up. He would do an assessment and decide if she needed to head to urgent care or come home and to be observed.  Allie was home and got on the phone and talked with Stacia and Linea until Michael showed up. 

Meanwhile I enlisted the prayer of the sib group and Carrie provided nursing tips.  When Michael checked her eyes, both were responding, she was talking in complete, logical sentences again, she was lightheaded but was walking straight and wasn't nauseated. She came home. 

We ate dinner. 

She opted out of her evening class. 

Allie went to the movies with a friend. 

Linea checked in. 

Stacia took the max dose of Ibuprofen. Her face has tiny blood vessels which broke, her eye is red and swollen, she is sore and will be rather bruised in the next day or two...but no broken bones. 

We snuggled on the couch and watched a Great American Christmas movie and an episode of White Collar which allowed for observation. 

YIKES! Stacia grew up sledding in Japan and here - interspersed with years in Texas which has little snow. She has stories of flying off the back of the sled with brothers, of falling off and being run over by Michael...this story is sure to live with the other stories. She did this one all on her own. It seems she needs to work on staying on the sled...maybe giant velcro on the sled and the seat of her snow pants? 

Beware of icy patches beneath powdery snow....

GRACE NOTES:

1. The girls' friend groups.  

2. Time - which doesn't heal all wounds but does provide assurance life continues. 

3. The judicial system with hopes for a trial month by the end of this week. 

4. A quiet evening with Michael and Stacia. 

5. No broken bones or concussion - I'm grateful. 

A Night at the Theater!

Sunday, we had the chance to relive sweet memories and make some fantastic NEW memories.

Bre contacted me a month ago (give or take) and we reminisced about me taking her and the others to plays when they were little. This happened most often in Great Falls and San Antonio, and San Angelo had the Nutcracker. She wanted to take her older three to see our local theater's production of C. S. Lewis', "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe."  It would be their first theater experience, and she asked if I'd like to come. YES, I agreed it would be something the girls and I would love to do. The three of us were already planning to see the play.  Finding the right showing was a bit tricky. We don't like to plan things Sunday afternoon as we are often not back in the valley until 3 p.m. Bre wanted to find an easy time for her to arrange baby-sitting for her younger 2.  We agreed on a Sunday and originally were thinking December - but we were told we'd be in the middle of a trial, and we hope to have company during the trial to help with GG and childcare. We went with the first Sunday showing. Two of us were to sit in front of the rest of the row. Wow - they pack people into this little theater. 

Stacia, Allie, Gideon, Bella, Bre
Me and Annie

We settled in and were delighted when Arielle showed up with Benny. This was Benny's first play too, a late birthday gift. Benny pulled his first tooth Saturday night (bottom center). UGH... LOL 

Benny & Arielle 📷by Arielle 

I cannot tell you how much I value being able to be with the kids for these events. Yes, I thought He was withholding Japan from us, but He was graciously giving us choice blessings in being all together these past few years and being able to spend time with grandkids. That'll preach. ::wink:: 

We saw a few people we knew. We chatted. The lights went down. I was a bit teary remembering dear ones lost...but soon Annie was asking if she could sit on my lap. We weren't more than five minutes into the play when she leaned back with a sigh and said, "Grandma, I could be an actress!"  Yes, sweet girl, I can see it. 

We bought a few refreshments during intermission. Stacia and Allie stayed inside. 

Bella, Gideon, Annie, Bella 📷by BreAnne

Arielle & Bre - 📷by BreAnne

The VPA did a great job with a wonderful story. As we were leaving Annie made a break from me and got right down to the stage and began talking with her favorite characters. She was thrilled when they asked her if she'd like a picture taken with them. 

The unicorn was a big hit! She wasn't interested in Mr. & Mrs. Beaver OR Aslan. 

She was excited to talk with Lucy. I was quite impressed with "Lucy's" people skills. They chatted about the play, Annie's name and age and "Lucy" made sure to tell her they were going to be putting on a play titled, "Annie" in a few months. 

Gideon, "Lucy," and Annie

GRACE NOTES:
1. Sweet memories and the chance to make new memories. 

2. 16 Baptisms at church - season of growth and new life.

3. Rest. 

Slow Paced Week

 WHY am I SO tired????

It's been a fairly slow-paced week. I spent Monday and Tuesday focused on some paperwork issues. I completed and scanned Dad's application to the appropriate office. I also made "new patient" appointments and settled our transition from one local medical practice to another local medical practice. 

I felt really sick after dinner on Tuesday night and missed lifegroup. 

My Wednesday tea got cancelled because my friend is sick. 

We have been looking ahead to hosting Thanksgiving and realized a mid-week trip to Costco may be nicer than a Sunday afternoon trip. Mike, Dad and I headed into Anchorage. Mike set dad up with a $1.50 lunch, Krista met us, and we enjoyed a quick visit as we raced through Costco. It reminded me of the "power play dates" we used to have with the Armstrong family in San Angelo, TX.  The main thing we wanted were CHAIRS. We watched as someone purchased the whole supply at the Debarr Costco. We headed to the Costco business center and picked up 10 chairs....I suspect they had more but 10 will work. We will most likely buy another 10 as we routinely have 30 people at family gatherings.  

We have been having Nolan over on Wednesday nights. This week both girls had plans and we were glad he came over anyway. I'd made a salad earlier and threw ribs in the oven when we got home. A few roasted veggies and we were good to go. Nolan has been put on a gluten free diet so we're all learning new tricks. He began teaching me cribbage and we watched an episode of Lost in Space. 

Allie is completing this year of her college coursework online and working as well. She's got dreams and goals and is diligently working towards reaching those goals as soon as possible. What we are able to offer covers her tuition, but she will NEED to be able to take a year or two off from working to focus solely on finishing her course and so she's working hard and saving much now. This is a common sight. 

Stacia is continuing her college coursework in residence at Alaska Bible College. She's keeping busy with school and student government.  What we are able to offer covers her tuition and after starting the year working full time she's enjoying not working at this point. She's more traditional in her choice of study space...table in the basement study/library. 

Taco Thursday found us at Nolan and Alex's for dinner. In addition to the other items, I experimented with gluten free cookies... Krista and Nolan have been meeting weekly for dinner for over year. About 6 - 9 months ago they began inviting us all and we try to make most weeks. Since all the dietary issues we are eating more at home where it's easier to watch out for dairy and gluten. Krista and Nolan settled on a walk at 5 and dinner at 6 for any who wanted to attend. We opted to skip the walk in single digit temps. Arielle and kids joined for the walk and skipped dinner. Bre and kids skipped the walk and joined for dinner. 

Izaak was on call but was able to stop by for dinner. It was good to catch up with him. The girls went to a movie, Dad, Mike and I joined the family.

GG and 4 of BreZaak's kids 

We are spending as much time as we possibly can with KrUke and the kids. Luke and Krista will be moving this summer. Krista is due for a pcs, we've been lucky to have Krista at JBER for 4 years. The assignment process has changed a bit, and supervising chaplains now bid for chaplains they'd like to fill their open billets. Krista has received 8 bids.  Now, we wait to see if assignments give her any one of these - all of which she'd love - or if they have a new adventure in mind for her. LOL 

Krista, Nuska and Nolan (Alex in the background)

Millie came back from the groomer with 3 bows AND a scarf. She's stylin. 

And here we are on Friday evening. Dad woke up feeling under the weather. Allie headed to work early. She is spending the evening with some friends in Anchorage. Stacia has been busy with homework all day, has a zoom meeting with missionaries in Japan and is heading over to the college for a student government sponsored event in a bit. 

I played with four of Bre's children while she and the other went to the dentist. It was great fun. 

We got word that the trial for Josiah's alleged murderer will not begin next week and probably not in December. We are looking more towards February. While planning is a bit of a pain, we are at peace. God knows the jury, the judge, and the timing...

I plan to settle down with some warm soup, a cuppa tea and cozy book to read. 

GRACE NOTES:

1. Family. 

2. Books

3. A warm house. 

Another Flannel Monday

They just keep coming...and I am learning whilst I try to face emotions head on there was a significant amount of denial in this past year.  Our new reality is counting the days of missing Josiah in years instead of days, weeks and months.  This goes on and on...an eternity.  I do suspect I will still count in months for some time...and flannel Monday...my soul seems to know even if my brain forgets for a day or so....

This "garden" is so peaceful. I made it out and discovered it's time to switch out my picnic blanket for a camping chair or bench.  When we selected the spot, they'd said we could snow blow a path to Josiah's grave. It's a fairly steep climb and I wanted to get rid of the snow so others could simply visit...and so I went out with a shovel and big thermos of tea.  I'm not sure HOW one would push a snow blower up this hill...I finally settled on simply packing down the snow and making a path. 

I also cleared his marker...of course it dumped another 10 - 12 inches in the past 2 days...so well...it makes for a winter work out. I nearly got myself stuck. It's time to put some gravel in the back of the van...or talk Michael into going with me in the truck.  

The most priceless thing I've discovered this year is those comfortable with simply being with me.  Tears remain my superpower - certainly not as frequent or predictable. I am thankful to those who have become comfortable with tears. 

The trial? We won't be in court Thanksgiving week watching jury selection. There is talk the three-week trial may begin Dec 9th.  Nothing is set - I check Alaska Court View daily to catch a date. It makes it hard to plan or feel very festive with a trial looming over the month of December. 

Just some Monday thoughts.  

In other news, I finished the 27-page application packet for Dad for the third time. We are trying to get some help...it feels like I can focus on the blog again now that we've got another trust set, and the application ready to go again! 

Michael and GG enjoyed an hour and a half playing with BreZaak's kids...I enjoyed sitting in the driveway chatting with Bre. ::snort:: OK - honestly, she and I drove her van over to Midas - the heater went out...and when we got home we did sit out in the driveway for a good 30 minutes. It's a thing. 

It's taken a turn for the COLD...like negative 6 this morning...and it got up to 6 degrees today.  Winter is here. I cannot continue to insist on fall. 

GRACE NOTES:

1. Driveway discussions and grand time with kids. 

2. Projects finished. 

3. Memories which accompany tears, which are healing I'm told. 

Surprise from Stanley

 We first met Stanley when Jared was managing his campaign for the Alaska State House of Representatives. He won.  We fell in love with Stanley. Stanley asked if he could come to this month's family gathering. Sure thing. As the day went on it was apparent Stanley would be late, the roads were getting worse, he still wanted to come. We were a bit perplexed. I asked Jared if he was going to sell us a time share. ::snort:: 

No, he wanted to present us with a citation from the 33rd State Legislature in honor and memory of Josiah saving a life!

Jamin, Stanley, Jared

Livie, Stanley, Josi & Carrie

Stanley made sure we had lots of extra copies. I'm on a search for frames! We'll give the framed copy to Carrie and the girls.  This was a moving ending to a heart full day. 

I'm still in awe of the way Josiah's life impacted others; in life and death.