Saturday, January 13, 2007

*Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit* by Teri Maxwell


I’ve debated how to write this review. I think it will be part book review and part word study. ::snort:: I struggled because there are things that I liked about this book and things that I disliked.

Book Review first: I had heard many comments about this book. The common statements ranged from, “life-changing” to “nothing new, I’m not impressed”. I wondered at a book that would spark such varying comments. I’ve never read any of the Maxwell works and have been waiting for one that struck me as a “must have” to purchase one so that I could sample their work. Thanks to Debbie, who sent me this one to read. PBS now sent me the Maxwell book on keeping our children’s heart, and I look forward to reading it.

I find the title of this book to be misleading. Though it will minister to the homeschooler, it will, I think, translate as well to any woman wanting to live life with a meek and quiet spirit. I did not find this book to be life-changing. I think if I’d read it 15 years ago, I may have found it to be. The Holy Spirit has faithfully taken me on many of the same journeys that Teri has traveled and, therefore, I’ve already reached many of the conclusions she reaches. For someone just starting to deal with the issues Teri discusses, this book COULD very well be life-changing. I am not talking about age or even length of salvation – it’s simply what path you’ve traveled to date or need to travel from this point forward. ::snort::

Teri begins by defining “meek and quiet” (more on this later). In following chapters she discusses undergirding (devotional life), fear and worry, disorganization, anger, hard work and dying to self, depression, gratitude, contentment, and a Smile, and the power of a meek and quiet spirit. Each chapter ends with a few discussion questions that would make this a great book for a support group discussion. Note I did NOT call it a Bible Study – because it’s not a Bible Study if you aren’t studying the BIBLE. ::snort:: This would be a fun small group book discussion!

Some of my favorite quotes from the book are:

“Anger creeps into these situations when I am more concerned about my inconveniences and difficulties than I am about my child’s long-term character growth. Otherwise, each time there was a problem, I would be happy for the opportunity to work on the character issues that the Lord is bringing out in this child.” (p 72)

This is an oft-heard quote but: …..”Nothing becomes dynamic until it becomes specific.” Teri then goes on to share how we need to be proactive in our training of our children. She gives concrete examples of going on the offensive with training for specific tasks and attitudes rather than parenting on the defensive. Good stuff here.

“Following the Lord through homeschooling will cause us to daily deny ourselves and take up our cross. It is imperative that we keep the truth of God’s Word in our minds and hearts so we don’t become resentful toward our workload.” (p90) Proverbs 31:27-28

“I am not saying we should never sit for a few minutes, relax, or simply do nothing. Rather, I am encouraging us to accept the fullness of our homeschooling lifestyle with joy instead of resentment. When we have the realistic expectation that our days will be very busy and that there will be much hard work, then we will be more likely to maintain a meek and quiet spirit. If we think we’ll have our evenings and weekend free, then we will be frustrated and angry when we can’t fit our homeschooling, plus our other homemaking tasks, into just the weekdays.” (p92)

“Contentment and gratitude are tightly bound together. If I am grateful that I can stay home with my children and homeschool, then I am going to be content in what I am doing. If I am thankful for each of my children, I will not wish they were different or that they would not bring trials into my life. When I am thinking about my husband’s positive traits, I am grateful for him. When I am praising him, I am content with the leadership he provides in our home.” (p110)

Word Study or What I didn’t like about the book: With so much good to say and such great quotes WHY would I possibly have been torn about how to write this review? I LOVED much of what Teri had to say. It took me a bit of time to put my finger on what bothers me about this book.

From the start the stated definition of the word meek ate at me. Teri uses I Peter 3:4 as the basis for her title/book. She defines meek by directing us to Webster’s. Her working definition of meek is “mild of temper, soft, gentle, not easily provoked or irritated” (p17) and quiet is “peaceable, not turbulent, not giving offense, mild, meek and contented” (p 17). The problem is that you can’t do an accurate study of the Word by using ENGLISH definitions of translated words from Webster’s. If you want to know what a Greek word meant in a specific verse and in that culture, then you need to look in a Bible Dictionary. I found the definition used for meek to be grating and shallow.

The word used here (and in Sermon on the Mount, and to describe Jesus, and as a fruit of the spirit) is 4239 – Praus – it comes from 4236 Praotes. Yes….it does mean meek, mild, gentle, soothing, humble…that’s a start. Meek (gentle) is an inward grace of the soul. It is calmness towards God. It is an acceptance of God’s dealings with us….it is me considering God’s dealing with me to be good because they enhance the closeness of my relationship with Him. Meek doesn’t blame God for persecutions and meek is ACTIVEY ANGRY at evil. The word was used in the culture to mean “balanced anger”. Wow – catch that. It’s the balance between uncontrolled, unjustified fury and being passive in the face of evil, never angered by anything. It was used in this sense by Aristotle.

Digging deeper gives a clearer picture of “meekness” and of what our goal is. It is NOT simply a mild, soft, unflappable, quiet existence. Think of Jesus. He illustrates meekness for us. Yes, He was humble, mild and gentle, but he also exhibited anger at sin and evil, He also shows an acceptance of the Father’s dealings with Him. THIS is meek. THIS is what I strive for in my life…throughout the book the use of meek as “quiet and peaceable” grated on me.

I felt that many of the things suggested, if not all, were external things we could move, change or do, in our quest to produce a quiet and peaceful life….but at the heart of this word it is an INWARD grace. Meekness/gentleness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. Yes, following the author’s suggestions will position me to have a more peaceful life. However, the only way to truly gain the character of meekness, to have the fruit of the Holy Spirit in my life, is to SUBMIT. That’s my role in this. I must SUBMIT to a life-changing relationship with God. I must SUBMIT and allow His transforming Spirit to bear fruit in my life. There was so much more that could have been said. I believe that organizing my life for quietness is a good thing…but I do not believe that is what the authors of the New Testament were speaking about when they used the word.

Is it simply semantics? I wondered. I’ve thought about this for a couple of weeks before commenting. I do not think it is simple semantics. I think that our culture wants “fixes” and many Christian books offer external ways for us to achieve and measure godly character. The thing is, we aren’t meant to produce godly character on our own. We’re meant to SUBMIT, we’re meant to walk in relationship and the fruit will flow. In fact, as I am transformed into His character, as I am born of God – God’s very genetics become mine…the fruit must follow. I think a person could follow Teri’s excellent suggestions and their life may well get peaceful and quiet. I believe they are good suggestions. I simply know that to truly have the character of meekness will require not only external activities but an internal submission.

Bottom Line: I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this book, with the caveat that the reader do some study on their own to truly understand the word meek as it is used in the Scripture. I think this book would be most beneficial either to those first beginning their homeschool journey or to those who struggle with some of the issues that Teri deals with: disorganization, child-training, depression, anger. She has some great things to say. I simply was left with the impression that we were supposed to follow a checklist and be magically “meek and quiet”. This may be a book I buy, write in the word study on the front cover, and loan out to others. Is this too much fence walking???? ::snort::

*Debbie this book and Tabitha are on their way home to you. Thank you so much!

4 comments:

Debbie said...

De'Etta, you have such a way of saying things I am thinking.

Thank you for your eloquent and complete review of this book.

Yvonne said...

Nice review, De'Etta! I read this one several years back (when it first came out I think)and enjoyed it, but over the years developed a different idea of what meek meant. I love how you put it all into words. Excellent thoughts! ~Yvonne

Kathy in WA said...

Thanks for sharing, De'Etta. I have this book on my shelf but haven't finished it.

I wanted to comment on the Keeping Your Child's Heart book. I am curious to see what you think of it. There was much in there that was very convicting to me (and dh). In particular, the idea of turning your heart toward your child in attention and love and time, etc. I would imagine you have already come to many of the same conclusions in this area.

They do, however, restrict outside influence on a their kids' lives to a very high degree. Interesting. You read it and let us know. Ha! How's that for vague?

Jillianne said...

De'Etta,
I really appreciate your comments on this book. I loved the way you emphasized that real meekness is something only God can do in our lives...we could never follow a check list and come up with it on our own.

I, too, am eager to see what you think of Keeping Our Children's Hearts. I, too, just finished this one and would love to hear your thoughts. It's a quick read!

Jill in AZ