Courageous Joy

*I'LL HOLD YOU IN HEAVEN* by Jack Hayford

This small book, with a powerful message, was published in 1986. I don't believe it is still in print, but a quick amazon search shows 79 used copies available - starting as low as .01. A remembrance book by the same title, written by Debbie Heydrik is currently in print.

This book covers healing and hope for the parent who has lost a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, abortion or early infant death. Pastor Jack (currently the leader of the Foursquare denomination) demonstrates how the answers to life's tough questions are found in Scripture.

As Pastor Jack says, "This isn't myth, fable, legend, or a selection of poetic thoughts for the sorrowful. This is truth to set us free. Here we are specifically freed to expect to meet children in heaven, to recognize them, and to be with them."

Pastor Jack writes with compassion and calls us to compassion of those who have lost an infant...yes, the same compassion to those whose loss came through abortion. He honestly lays out the steps that God took him through in order for him to love as Christ did "while we were yet sinners Christ DIED for us." He confesses his past attitudes towards abortion. He in no way is "easy" on abortion but he is compassionate. A story in the book about how God moved in the life of one lady who contacted the CPC run by Church on the Way moved me to tears.

There are many quotes that I could share. I've decided not to. If you are struggling with grief, questions etc having to do with "early flight" babies, I think it is worth the time to find this book and read it in it's entirety. If you find yourself ministering to those who have suffered miscarriages, abortions, stillbirths....this book would also give you firm hope in how to compassionately speak and minister.

I first read this book years ago - shortly after our first miscarriage - would have been over 22 years ago. I found hope and comfort in it's pages. I nearly set the book aside this read after the first chapter because I found that I now have some major differences in theology with Pastor Jack. We've become what some term as "quiverful" (though really not quite enough for those who are quiverful watchdogs - some of you KNOW what I mean ::snort::) and Pastor Jack is certainly not. I remembered being comforted by this book before and so I continued to read. I'm glad I did. Many new areas spoke to me this read. I would have missed the blessings of the book, if I had discounted all he said because he disagrees with me on the issue of birth control. There were a couple spots in the book that I marked for future study in the Word. Yes, this is a book that is not only highlighted but one where I talked back to the author in the margins.

Pastor Jack deals with questions of life and it's beginning, when a life receives a soul, what happens to the baby after loss, will I know and recognize my early flight baby, how to grieve....

One quote that applies to all of us - regardless of our prenatal experiences: "My evangelical orthodoxy required me to insist that I had to overcome sin by resisting it in others - not only in myself. Wherever I found it, I found myself succumbing to a "watchdog" mentality of critiquing my culture, rather than a shepherd mindset towards lovingly seeking the lost. That is, until I thought through the way Jesus overcame sin. The way He overcame sin was in SURRENDERING HIMSELF TO LOVE (my emphasis) - to stand forgivingly before it until His love overcame it. " page 108.

May we all become shepherds of our culture rather than expert critics of our culture. There is a difference. Our culture needs us to introduce it to an extravagant love of Jesus. Just deleted the rest of this paragraph - enough said. ::snort:: Off the soapbox.