Sunday, September 28, 2008

Jared or The Power of a Vision
This post will brag on Jared. He's gone at World View Academy for a week and will not see it for a bit of time. Therefore, he won't be embarassed.

I overheard a conversation today at chapel.
To Arielle, "You'll be a teenager soon."

Mike replied, "Not in OUR HOME!"

At which point I jumped in to save the day and clear up confusion as to what we were planning for poor Arielle's future. I explained that in our home we have "young adults" and not "teenagers". I realize many feel that this is simply a matter of semantics (like using the term kid/child). It is more for us. By consciously calling our 13-19 year olds "young adults" we keep before us our goal to raise YOUNG ADULTS....and we remind ourselves that they should be taking on more adult freedoms along with their extra responsibities.
By voicing to our children that we "don't have teenagers in our home", we communicate with them our vision of what they will act like, who they are maturing into, who they are IN THIS VERY SEASON....They are YOUNG ADULTS. Visions/expectations are powerful. My expectations will influence my communications and responses with my young adults. My children and young adults will live up to my communicated expectations for them. Do not be deceived.....verbally or non-verbally your vision/expectations are communicated.

What does this have to do with Jared? Jared was the typical 11-13 yo. However, at about 13 he really began to grow into the leadership potential we had seen, to stop wanting the privileges of adulthood without the responsibilities, to begin taking the initiative to lead and help at home and elsewhere. It's been fun to watch.


We'll miss Jared this week while he is at camp. We are praying he has a safe, fun, beneficial time at World View.

Yesterday he sucessfully tested for Master Sgt. in the Civil Air Patrol.


Last weekend the local CAP went to Midland to help out with an air show. Jared was allowed to lead one of the "flights". This was a big step in leadership for him.

I love this time of transitioning from childhood to adulthood. Yes, there are a few rough months along the way. We TELL our children that we are on their side, that they will most likely have to learn to deal with raging hormones and that we'll love them through it all. LOL It seems that girls deal with hormones by becoming "a bit" moody and must learn to deal with emotions in a godly way. Our young men have all gone through a time where they seemed to become aggressive and have anger surges....which I chalk up to hormones....and they've had to learn how to deal with this in a godly fashion....but honestly.....these years are wonderful years.....

People used to tell me, "Just wait unitl they are all teens - you'll regret having so many." That's been proven false in our home. We've had up to four young adults in our home at a time. They've all been huge blessings as they matured. If you are looking for some encouragement on raising young adults, I recommend reading this free article, Myth of the Teenager, and "Age of Opportunity" by Paul David Tripp. Of course, I probably don't agree with all the thoughts shared in either...but the Myth of the Teenager, helped to set our vision for the "teen years" when Bre was just 8 years old.
Today, a tribute to the youngest adult in our family. You make us proud, you make our family life much easier by sharing our family vision, by embracing our vision for this season of your life.
For more Super Size Saturday entries click here.

©2008 D.R.G.


Anonymous said...

De'Etta, we also don't buy in to the whole "teenager" thing but have been using the term teenager. Thanks for sharing how you guys use "young adult!" We have a brand-spanking new young adult in our house, so this is very timely. :-)

Jen's Whimsical Life said...

Thanks for posting about this "topic" again. It's actually been on my mind quite a bit lately and I actually googled the article last week. Hannah is going to be 10 soon, she's entering puberty (read moody), and I've been trying to wrap my mind around this so that we don't end up with 4-5 "teenagers" in our home in a few years:)

Jen in Wa.

Jen's Whimsical Life said...

By the way, I'm proud of your kids too....glad to see that Jared got to go to Worldview!

DeEtta @ Courageous Joy said...

Jen it makes me so happy to think that you are in the same city as my grown baby girls.....I'm sure I'll meet you one of these days soon....I'm quite sure of it! LOL Thanks for your kind words about our children.

DeEtta @ Courageous Joy said...

Congrats, Becca. I'd not say that these years aren't tremebndous years of growth for both the young and not so young adult....but we've loved this season.

Anonymous said...

De'Etta, I'd love to meet you guys someday! I've been meaning to email you that if your girls ever need anything, I'd be happy to help out. I know they've got friends and church here and all but you never know what can happen.


Jodi said...

This is one of the first things I remember "picking up" from SHS when all my kids were tiny. I loved your views on no teens/young adults. I try to remember that mentality as now I have big kids!

Corine Moore said...

I LOVE THIS!!! I'm deeply inspired, and would feel ungrateful if I didn't express my appreciation. THANK YOU! :D