Friday, August 24, 2012
Grieving the End of Summer....
For the first time in many years I am GRIEVING the end of this summer. It just doesn't feel like it ever really started.
I left the above comment on a blog and realized I had tears running down my face. Time to stop and spend some quiet time with God. Yes, I'm grieving. The end of summer - yes - but so much more. The end of a season, the end of a loved one's life, the end of a son's childhood (YES THIS ONE IS SWEET TOO), the unexpected loss of "final trips," those days of youth when you take you and your husband's health for granted....I am not ready for the fall schedule to begin again....with Bible studies, church activities, schools and fall conferences....I want a summer vacation....mostly I need time to rest, to breathe, to feel ready to jump back into my busy life.
I often find myself attempting to be "strong." Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is to enforce boundaries, to rest, to wait, to be still. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say - other than I'm not ready for the fall. ::snort:: AND I committed again this morning to take the time I need to grieve well; Not wallowing - but not stuffing.
Michael asked me if I'd hit anger yet. Maybe. I'm not sure. I know I hit denial. Maybe the tears are about negotiation....maybe that's what I'm doing....or maybe acceptance...who knows...I only know for a time....I will rest, I will sit quietly, I will take things slowly, I will enforce boundaries, I will walk out the priorities my husband and I set.....and that is enough.
No, grieving isn't all I'm doing. God has given me some clear-cut direction, I'm fighting battles He's called me to fight, I'm investing in lives and relationships and running the race with Him.
Living all of life before the face of God...
Joyfully Penned by DeEtta @ Courageous Joy at 8:25 PM