Quick update
:::snort::: you all are so precious. A quick update because I've gotten three messages asking me if everything is o.k. since I didn't blog last night.
Yesterday was great. We are fine. We did some school. The boys went to House of Faith.
We went to homeschool skate day. Arielle and Nolan had worked so hard to learn to skate. They were a bit unsure in the beginning but picked up speed near the end. Thanks to Tricia for motivating us to try it. Her daughter, Ashley, was so encouraging and patient with my timid Arielle.
I ran to the BX and cashed checks.
I took Adrienne's daughter home after House of Faith and could easily see that Adrienne needed a break. The poor thing. Her family has had hand, mouth and foot disease. They picked it up at their church nursery a couple of weeks ago. Can you imagine blisters in your mouth? ARGH. 4 of her 7 children caught it. Lot's of sleepless night and not going out at all. I had been invited out to dinner last night and knew that these moms would be fine with Adrienne coming. I ran another errand while she showered and took her with me.
There it is the jewel of my day? Ladies Night Out (:::snort::: read post below to see that I aim for BALANCE) Hmmm....nah...maybe skating was the jewel of the day because I saw two of my kids conquer fear and have fun. I digress (as typical).
Charly had invited me out to dinner to meet one of her friends. I don't think there is any better compliment than someone wanting to share a friend with you. It's awesome...and I've had several here willing to do that with me. Originally it was to be Charly, Beth and I. Charly invited Sherri and I invited Adrienne and we had a great time visiting. The best thing is that these ladies were willing to move the time earlier so that I could be home for Stacia's bed time. What a great night.
So we're fine. We're choosing joy. I simply went to bed at 10:22 last night instead of midnight. :::snort:::
Friday, October 20, 2006
A Mother's Love
One of our daughter's friends left a comment on my my space blog. Part of it went something to the effect of "thank you for showing me what a mother's love for her children looks like. You'll never know how much that has meant."
I cried.
As I prayed for this dear girl (who is 22) and thought about it early this a.m. I realized that so many children/young adults are in this same boat. My generation of women and the generation before mine were focused on "equality" and "fulfillment". Everywhere we look, from Christian authors to secular talk show gurus, we are reminded to "take care of YOUR needs" sometimes with "too" added on.... I've thought for a long time that children were getting lost in women's search for fulfillment.
Unfortunately, this has happened in the church among Christian families as well. This is NOT an entry about women working...because I've seen many stay at home mom's that are as guilty of neglecting their children as working moms. Shame on us for pointing fingers at each other rather than focusing on the path God has called us too and supporting each other. This is simply some thoughts...meant to be encouraging...hang with me here. :::Snort:::
Scriptures clearly tell us to look out for the interests of others (certainly our children would be included in "others"). The verses that continue to speak to me the most about this are Phil 2: 1-11. We are to "do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interest of others."
I've been surprised when I teach these verses how often they've been taught in Christians circles to justify that we ARE to take care of OURSELVES. Folks bring out verse 4 and say that this proves that we ARE to look out for ourselves FIRST and then for others. Well....yes...it assumes we will be looking out for our needs. If you check the context of these verses you quickly discover that the MAIN point Paul is making is not that Mommies need to go out for Ladies Night Out. {bg} I realize that there are many wounded individuals in our midst who need to be told it is OK to care for themselves...but most of us instinctively do take care of our basic needs...and quite a few other needs that aren't so basic. I don't believe I'm the only selfish person in Christendom...in fact....I'm sure I'm not. We're all HUMAN.
The very next verse (Phil 2:5) to "have the attitude that was also in Christ Jesus" and the next 6 verses describe that attitude. In other words laying down our lives for others, humble, not grasping for equality....
Paul begins by telling us to regard one another as more important than ourselves....has a quick blurb about not merely meeting our own needs...and concludes by saying have the attitude of Christ....and WE pull out of their justification to pursue our selfish desires. {sigh}
Meanwhile two generations of children have been raised without anyone considering their needs FIRST. Many of these children have NEVER experienced unconditional or unselfish love. Many were born to be trophies for Mom and Dad. These children have had children....or will in the next few years. I fear for the generation after my children's generation.....because I see so many wounded in my children's generation.
Ladies, it is time for US to step up and be the Titus 2 older women; mentoring, nurturing and illustrating godly love to these young women and children. I often hear from women my age (40's and 30's) that "no one has EVER mentored me". Guess what? I've said it. I've longed for someone older to mentor me in mothering and in being a wife...but at this point it's time for ME (and others like me) to quit selfishly bemoaning that we've never had a mentor, and begin to impact the lives of those who are younger than us and have not only not had a mentor but not experienced a mother's love as God intended for it to be. God has been faithful to mentor me through His living Word. I've found all the encouragement, direction and support I've needed in the Word. I'm sure at some point God is bringing a mentor into my life. {G} I've been so impressed by my friend Chris. For years she and her husband served as a host family for many Master's Commission students. She showed many of those young adults the first "mother love" they'd experienced.
I'm certainly not advocating that we all go out and focus on other's children to the neglect of our own. I'm saying that we need to be aware. We need to pray for those wounded youth that God brings our way. We need to build relationships with 20, 30 year old women who are young moms and have no idea what God would require of a mother. We need to reach out to that obnoxious young mom who grates on our nerves (you know who I mean - most of you have a picture of one such woman). We need to care. We need to ask God if that person is in our life because WE have some role to play in her healing and wholeness. OUCH...
There are seasons in our lives. It would not serve us well to neglect our children to minister to others...but in the dailiness of sacrificially loving your children, caring for them, looking out for them...you have no idea how many will be impacted. How many other moms are watching you? How many young moms are watching how you mother? How many of your children's friends are saying "wow - that's what a Christian family can be like"? We ARE called to be salt and light. We are to impact our society and there are at least two generations of adults/children that need us to impact them with love. This begins as we begin to impact our CHILDREN by loving them as GOD loves us.
Obviously, none of us are perfect. I am NOT a perfect Mom. In mothering my children, however, God has ministered to others. I've had several tell me or my children that our family is the ONLY family they know where mom, dad and their children all live in one home. As you fulfill your call to mother...watch out for those friends of your children that God brings your way...simply by mothering your children and loving their friend....you may make a huge impact on society. It's as simple as walking in obedience to the Word....or as Paul says "living by the Spirit". None of us are STUCK at home...God desires us to minister to our families and to minister to others through our families.
I am passionate about women and about women finding healing from life's hurts at the feet of Jesus. Because I have. I have not had to walk through the issues that many of our youth are walking through. There have been times when this passion has led me to be WAY over committed outside the home in women's ministry and mentoring relationships (as in Alaska, Darshia). God lovingly pulls me back each time. The best way for ME to minister to the hurts of women is to keep my life in balance. My primary focus is my young ones....He brings others around for me to touch. As simply as a young adults friend watching and seeing what a Godly Mom could be like and desiring that for her life and even beginning to receive healing as she realizes that what she has was not what God meant for her to have. It's NOT all her fault.
We don't have to go search for ministry. We simply need to be faithful right where God has placed us. Ministry is sure to find us! BTW don't expect ministry to LOOK a certain way....I guess cleaning those fingerprints off the wall is ministry, making that menu, taking the walk to the park, ah....meeting a young mom at the park and simply letting her observe how you parent......teaching a study, taking a young lady to lunch, sending a carepackage to your daughter and including something for her friend who never hears from home....
What we are doing as Christian mothers matters so much! Let's excel at it. I even give you permission to OVERACHIEVE! In the process...let's keep our hearts humble and not worry about judging others who are also trying their best to mother and wife...have you ever realized that mother can be a noun or verb...but wife...well what would be the verb for that...wifing....hmmm...thoughts to ponder.
One of our daughter's friends left a comment on my my space blog. Part of it went something to the effect of "thank you for showing me what a mother's love for her children looks like. You'll never know how much that has meant."
I cried.
As I prayed for this dear girl (who is 22) and thought about it early this a.m. I realized that so many children/young adults are in this same boat. My generation of women and the generation before mine were focused on "equality" and "fulfillment". Everywhere we look, from Christian authors to secular talk show gurus, we are reminded to "take care of YOUR needs" sometimes with "too" added on.... I've thought for a long time that children were getting lost in women's search for fulfillment.
Unfortunately, this has happened in the church among Christian families as well. This is NOT an entry about women working...because I've seen many stay at home mom's that are as guilty of neglecting their children as working moms. Shame on us for pointing fingers at each other rather than focusing on the path God has called us too and supporting each other. This is simply some thoughts...meant to be encouraging...hang with me here. :::Snort:::
Scriptures clearly tell us to look out for the interests of others (certainly our children would be included in "others"). The verses that continue to speak to me the most about this are Phil 2: 1-11. We are to "do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interest of others."
I've been surprised when I teach these verses how often they've been taught in Christians circles to justify that we ARE to take care of OURSELVES. Folks bring out verse 4 and say that this proves that we ARE to look out for ourselves FIRST and then for others. Well....yes...it assumes we will be looking out for our needs. If you check the context of these verses you quickly discover that the MAIN point Paul is making is not that Mommies need to go out for Ladies Night Out. {bg} I realize that there are many wounded individuals in our midst who need to be told it is OK to care for themselves...but most of us instinctively do take care of our basic needs...and quite a few other needs that aren't so basic. I don't believe I'm the only selfish person in Christendom...in fact....I'm sure I'm not. We're all HUMAN.
The very next verse (Phil 2:5) to "have the attitude that was also in Christ Jesus" and the next 6 verses describe that attitude. In other words laying down our lives for others, humble, not grasping for equality....
Paul begins by telling us to regard one another as more important than ourselves....has a quick blurb about not merely meeting our own needs...and concludes by saying have the attitude of Christ....and WE pull out of their justification to pursue our selfish desires. {sigh}
Meanwhile two generations of children have been raised without anyone considering their needs FIRST. Many of these children have NEVER experienced unconditional or unselfish love. Many were born to be trophies for Mom and Dad. These children have had children....or will in the next few years. I fear for the generation after my children's generation.....because I see so many wounded in my children's generation.
Ladies, it is time for US to step up and be the Titus 2 older women; mentoring, nurturing and illustrating godly love to these young women and children. I often hear from women my age (40's and 30's) that "no one has EVER mentored me". Guess what? I've said it. I've longed for someone older to mentor me in mothering and in being a wife...but at this point it's time for ME (and others like me) to quit selfishly bemoaning that we've never had a mentor, and begin to impact the lives of those who are younger than us and have not only not had a mentor but not experienced a mother's love as God intended for it to be. God has been faithful to mentor me through His living Word. I've found all the encouragement, direction and support I've needed in the Word. I'm sure at some point God is bringing a mentor into my life. {G} I've been so impressed by my friend Chris. For years she and her husband served as a host family for many Master's Commission students. She showed many of those young adults the first "mother love" they'd experienced.
I'm certainly not advocating that we all go out and focus on other's children to the neglect of our own. I'm saying that we need to be aware. We need to pray for those wounded youth that God brings our way. We need to build relationships with 20, 30 year old women who are young moms and have no idea what God would require of a mother. We need to reach out to that obnoxious young mom who grates on our nerves (you know who I mean - most of you have a picture of one such woman). We need to care. We need to ask God if that person is in our life because WE have some role to play in her healing and wholeness. OUCH...
There are seasons in our lives. It would not serve us well to neglect our children to minister to others...but in the dailiness of sacrificially loving your children, caring for them, looking out for them...you have no idea how many will be impacted. How many other moms are watching you? How many young moms are watching how you mother? How many of your children's friends are saying "wow - that's what a Christian family can be like"? We ARE called to be salt and light. We are to impact our society and there are at least two generations of adults/children that need us to impact them with love. This begins as we begin to impact our CHILDREN by loving them as GOD loves us.
Obviously, none of us are perfect. I am NOT a perfect Mom. In mothering my children, however, God has ministered to others. I've had several tell me or my children that our family is the ONLY family they know where mom, dad and their children all live in one home. As you fulfill your call to mother...watch out for those friends of your children that God brings your way...simply by mothering your children and loving their friend....you may make a huge impact on society. It's as simple as walking in obedience to the Word....or as Paul says "living by the Spirit". None of us are STUCK at home...God desires us to minister to our families and to minister to others through our families.
I am passionate about women and about women finding healing from life's hurts at the feet of Jesus. Because I have. I have not had to walk through the issues that many of our youth are walking through. There have been times when this passion has led me to be WAY over committed outside the home in women's ministry and mentoring relationships (as in Alaska, Darshia). God lovingly pulls me back each time. The best way for ME to minister to the hurts of women is to keep my life in balance. My primary focus is my young ones....He brings others around for me to touch. As simply as a young adults friend watching and seeing what a Godly Mom could be like and desiring that for her life and even beginning to receive healing as she realizes that what she has was not what God meant for her to have. It's NOT all her fault.
We don't have to go search for ministry. We simply need to be faithful right where God has placed us. Ministry is sure to find us! BTW don't expect ministry to LOOK a certain way....I guess cleaning those fingerprints off the wall is ministry, making that menu, taking the walk to the park, ah....meeting a young mom at the park and simply letting her observe how you parent......teaching a study, taking a young lady to lunch, sending a carepackage to your daughter and including something for her friend who never hears from home....
What we are doing as Christian mothers matters so much! Let's excel at it. I even give you permission to OVERACHIEVE! In the process...let's keep our hearts humble and not worry about judging others who are also trying their best to mother and wife...have you ever realized that mother can be a noun or verb...but wife...well what would be the verb for that...wifing....hmmm...thoughts to ponder.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Wednesday....
I got my hair done today. Many of you are familiar with my saga. I had always had sun bleached hair growing up (the tropics will do that for you). When we moved to AK it got very dark (no sun) and I didn't even recognize myself. I pictured myself as blond and was always shocked to see pictures. About 4 years ago I had highlights. After moving here it was always anybody's guess what color I would get when I went in. I've had burgundy, red...and really, really blond. Today I asked Heather to trim off the rest of the fried blond. This made it short. She said that she thought it would look good if I went back to my natural shade with a few highlights. I decided it wouldn't hurt to try. She picked a shade lighter than my natural. I was SHOCKED when she unveiled my new color. It really IS a shade lighter than my natural...but WOW...it's DARK. I'm not sure I like it - but then again....it's better than fried blond. The children laughed when I got home. Stacia screamed. This evening Arielle told me, "I was surprised to see your hair so dark but it is really like the pictures from AK". There you have it...4 years of dye and I'm back where I started (hmmm without the gray). When I first had it cut and highlighted I was told it made me look younger....I'm wondering if I now look older again. LOL Of course....at that point I went from very long hair to short....hmmm...No photo until I get the computer set up working again...but I'm telling you that I look nothing like the profile picture.
I also ran to the library again today. I took three books back and picked up 10 more. LOL
I found a used bookstore called "Book Heaven...where good books go after they've been read". I found to Nero Wolfe books and The Great Gatsby which Jamin needs for school - all for $7.
I had to buy milk - the children are drinking 2 gal a day for the past month. I need to buy a cow. I'm not sure why they doubled their milk consumption. Maybe it's a seasonal thing. {G}
I made dinner - chicken, rolls, salad, smoothies, carrots and fruit plates.
Steve, a family friend stopped over to look at my computer. It looks like I may be buying a new computer. I don't know. I can't run XP on the computer I have....and everyone is saying that it is silly to spend $130 on Windows 2000 when the new software will need XP.... I am TRYING TO SAVE money and buying tires, new computers...this is not helping.
I think that is the day in a nutshell.
I've been lonely today and missing Mike - but I'm also remembering to choose joy!
I got my hair done today. Many of you are familiar with my saga. I had always had sun bleached hair growing up (the tropics will do that for you). When we moved to AK it got very dark (no sun) and I didn't even recognize myself. I pictured myself as blond and was always shocked to see pictures. About 4 years ago I had highlights. After moving here it was always anybody's guess what color I would get when I went in. I've had burgundy, red...and really, really blond. Today I asked Heather to trim off the rest of the fried blond. This made it short. She said that she thought it would look good if I went back to my natural shade with a few highlights. I decided it wouldn't hurt to try. She picked a shade lighter than my natural. I was SHOCKED when she unveiled my new color. It really IS a shade lighter than my natural...but WOW...it's DARK. I'm not sure I like it - but then again....it's better than fried blond. The children laughed when I got home. Stacia screamed. This evening Arielle told me, "I was surprised to see your hair so dark but it is really like the pictures from AK". There you have it...4 years of dye and I'm back where I started (hmmm without the gray). When I first had it cut and highlighted I was told it made me look younger....I'm wondering if I now look older again. LOL Of course....at that point I went from very long hair to short....hmmm...No photo until I get the computer set up working again...but I'm telling you that I look nothing like the profile picture.
I also ran to the library again today. I took three books back and picked up 10 more. LOL
I found a used bookstore called "Book Heaven...where good books go after they've been read". I found to Nero Wolfe books and The Great Gatsby which Jamin needs for school - all for $7.
I had to buy milk - the children are drinking 2 gal a day for the past month. I need to buy a cow. I'm not sure why they doubled their milk consumption. Maybe it's a seasonal thing. {G}
I made dinner - chicken, rolls, salad, smoothies, carrots and fruit plates.
Steve, a family friend stopped over to look at my computer. It looks like I may be buying a new computer. I don't know. I can't run XP on the computer I have....and everyone is saying that it is silly to spend $130 on Windows 2000 when the new software will need XP.... I am TRYING TO SAVE money and buying tires, new computers...this is not helping.
I think that is the day in a nutshell.
I've been lonely today and missing Mike - but I'm also remembering to choose joy!
School Daze
Today we read a fun book on verbs: *To Root, to Toot, to Parachute* by Brian Cleary. The younger ones obviously had a different mental image on the title than the author meant. :::snort::: I DID go to the library and picked up the Ruth Heller books that Cynthia recommended. I got a couple more on nouns and one more on verbs. I plan to move on to pronouns, adjectives or adverbs after this. I wish I'd hit on this much earlier. This is just PERFECT for teaching them the grammar they need without doing endless drills.
The older children continue to work on week 4 of TOG. The younger ones and I continue to enjoy our rabbit trials.
Today we read a fun book on verbs: *To Root, to Toot, to Parachute* by Brian Cleary. The younger ones obviously had a different mental image on the title than the author meant. :::snort::: I DID go to the library and picked up the Ruth Heller books that Cynthia recommended. I got a couple more on nouns and one more on verbs. I plan to move on to pronouns, adjectives or adverbs after this. I wish I'd hit on this much earlier. This is just PERFECT for teaching them the grammar they need without doing endless drills. 
Yesterday, I had picked up several more books on the Wright brothers. The children picked this one to read. It was great! Enough info to hold their interest but not so much info that their eyes glazed over. I would like to find a model of their glider or something....something EASY....I think the one I got may be impossible for us to put together.
Arielle finished her math book today! Yippee. Actually I took a very hands on, relaxed approach to math last year. She wanted a workbook so I picked up the Grade 2 math book at Sam's Club. I thought I'd pick up Grade 3 for her today - but this Sam's club doesn't have any. I did pick up some living math books and I do have Math Reasoning....and Family Math....and some math games...so we are not in a huge rush to get a workbook - unless she really wants one.
I'm not sure what else we did in school - it all begins to blur.
Zander is eating pancakes and smoothies this a.m. and looks up and says, "I miss Dad".
I said, "He misses you too, you should talk to him when he calls."
He replied, "I miss him THREE times".
I countered, "Wow, Three times."
Zander conclued, "AND I miss Bre and Krista THREE times too. "
From the mouth of babes.
I said, "He misses you too, you should talk to him when he calls."
He replied, "I miss him THREE times".
I countered, "Wow, Three times."
Zander conclued, "AND I miss Bre and Krista THREE times too. "
From the mouth of babes.
Early A.M. Choice or Where the Rubber met my Road
"Mom, can I come with you?" ARGH...so close....Stacia and Zander were still asleep. I was up. I could get a BIKE ride in...finally....and then the plea. Stacia had been up last night. She would NOT go to sleep. I finally put her in the crib to "cry herself to sleep". I needed a bit of distance after rocking, feeding, changing and her still bouncing around. 25 minutes later things were calm. I went to go into my room and the door stuck. I gave a little push and found Stacia asleep by the door. She'd climbed out of the crib, off my bed and to the door. She'd never gotten out of the crib or off my bed before. She is incredibly strong willed - God is going to do amazing things through her determined spirit. She woke up. She wanted to cuddle and so we got into bed and cuddled and I watched *Here's Lucy* to keep myself awake. Finally, at 4:00, she fell asleep and I dropped her into her crib. It was a blessing that I was up now, early enough to go on my ride of solitude. I needed that quiet time to focus on what God would have me do today.
We've been studying "Our 24 Family Ways" during family worship. These principles are built around six areas of life: authorities, relationships, possessions, work, attitudes and choices. Each area has four "ways". Each "way" has a week of study that goes along with it. We review all the "ways" each week as we move to new "ways". A few weeks back we studied, "We love one another, treating others with kindness, gentleness and respect." Since I am also leading a Bible Study on I John, the subject of love is timely. I'd done some word studies. The upshot is that agape love is a choice, a decision of the will....it's laying down our life sacrificially for others. It's an action. It's NOT warm fuzzy feelings - that's phileo. Last week our way was, "We serve one another, humbly thinking of the needs of others first".
What was I going to do? I'd worked for WEEKS to get up and out of the house for my "daily" bike ride...and as I rode down the driveway I heard Nolan call, "Mom, can I come with you." ARGH. I was irritated. I sighed. I looked up the driveway and there he stood soaking wet (15 second shower so he could hurry and catch me :::snort:::) and barefoot.
What would I do? What should I do? This is one of the few things I do "for myself". I love my time ALONE on bike rides. I pray and worship and recharge....but here was my 7 yo so eager to join me. He would slow me down. He would talk. He is a TALKER - and he's the one with speech problems so it requires real effort to converse with him. "We love one another, treating each other with kindness, gentleness and respect."
I had valid reasons to go alone. Many would say that I NEED time alone. It really is one of the few things I do "for myself". Would I choose to lay down my "self" and take him along?
I did. We had a great ride. There was more traffic than normal and Nolan, the talker, kept wanting to ride side by side. I decided we should ride down the alleys. The row of homes that abuts the green-belt do much to attract deer. Each yard has big watering troughs out and corn scattered on the ground. We were able to see about 40 deer in among the cactus and mesquite. It was beautiful.
We rode DOWN roller coaster hill. It was Nolan's first time to ride down such a "big mountain". He tired out at about 6 miles so at 6.5 he chose to stop at home. I rode another 5.5 miles. I thought that one route was 1.5 miles but discovered today (with my odometer working) that it is 2.6 miles.
I blessed my child's heart. I know that I "loved" him this a.m. God, in turn, blessed me and I got my alone time in as well.
I've been thinking a lot about laying down "self" for my family. Many of us stay home but we don't truly embrace family....we whine and complain and look for every opportunity we can to "escape" for Mommy time. I'm sure there is most certainly a time for "mommy time"...but I know that today God was well-pleased that I chose to lay down "the only thing I do for me" for my son....and I know that his heart was truly blessed and encouraged to go on the "secret" ride that Mom likes to take.
The choices I make today will have repercussions 5, 10, 15 years from now. I need to be more consistent in choosing to SHOW love to my little ones. After all, I'll always have ME with myself...but I've learned how quickly these young adults grow up and leave home. I look for any opportunity to interact with them....in 18 years I will have all the ME time I need...and that really isn't that far from now, is it?
For over 20 years Proverb 14:1 has been a life verse of mine, "The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands." I ask God almost daily to help me make choices that would truly BUILD my home and family....because it seems to be human nature to pick those choices that actually lead to tearing down our homes and families. Or maybe it is simply MY nature...years ago I realized that my "first response" very often was a "tearing down" choice. God has worked and worked with me on this issue. He is so FAITHFUL to complete the good works He begins in our lives.
This a.m. I made the right choice. I'm praying that the rest of the day goes as well. How's that prayer go "and now it's time to get out of bed"? :::snort:::
"Mom, can I come with you?" ARGH...so close....Stacia and Zander were still asleep. I was up. I could get a BIKE ride in...finally....and then the plea. Stacia had been up last night. She would NOT go to sleep. I finally put her in the crib to "cry herself to sleep". I needed a bit of distance after rocking, feeding, changing and her still bouncing around. 25 minutes later things were calm. I went to go into my room and the door stuck. I gave a little push and found Stacia asleep by the door. She'd climbed out of the crib, off my bed and to the door. She'd never gotten out of the crib or off my bed before. She is incredibly strong willed - God is going to do amazing things through her determined spirit. She woke up. She wanted to cuddle and so we got into bed and cuddled and I watched *Here's Lucy* to keep myself awake. Finally, at 4:00, she fell asleep and I dropped her into her crib. It was a blessing that I was up now, early enough to go on my ride of solitude. I needed that quiet time to focus on what God would have me do today.
We've been studying "Our 24 Family Ways" during family worship. These principles are built around six areas of life: authorities, relationships, possessions, work, attitudes and choices. Each area has four "ways". Each "way" has a week of study that goes along with it. We review all the "ways" each week as we move to new "ways". A few weeks back we studied, "We love one another, treating others with kindness, gentleness and respect." Since I am also leading a Bible Study on I John, the subject of love is timely. I'd done some word studies. The upshot is that agape love is a choice, a decision of the will....it's laying down our life sacrificially for others. It's an action. It's NOT warm fuzzy feelings - that's phileo. Last week our way was, "We serve one another, humbly thinking of the needs of others first".
What was I going to do? I'd worked for WEEKS to get up and out of the house for my "daily" bike ride...and as I rode down the driveway I heard Nolan call, "Mom, can I come with you." ARGH. I was irritated. I sighed. I looked up the driveway and there he stood soaking wet (15 second shower so he could hurry and catch me :::snort:::) and barefoot.
What would I do? What should I do? This is one of the few things I do "for myself". I love my time ALONE on bike rides. I pray and worship and recharge....but here was my 7 yo so eager to join me. He would slow me down. He would talk. He is a TALKER - and he's the one with speech problems so it requires real effort to converse with him. "We love one another, treating each other with kindness, gentleness and respect."
I had valid reasons to go alone. Many would say that I NEED time alone. It really is one of the few things I do "for myself". Would I choose to lay down my "self" and take him along?
I did. We had a great ride. There was more traffic than normal and Nolan, the talker, kept wanting to ride side by side. I decided we should ride down the alleys. The row of homes that abuts the green-belt do much to attract deer. Each yard has big watering troughs out and corn scattered on the ground. We were able to see about 40 deer in among the cactus and mesquite. It was beautiful.
We rode DOWN roller coaster hill. It was Nolan's first time to ride down such a "big mountain". He tired out at about 6 miles so at 6.5 he chose to stop at home. I rode another 5.5 miles. I thought that one route was 1.5 miles but discovered today (with my odometer working) that it is 2.6 miles.
I blessed my child's heart. I know that I "loved" him this a.m. God, in turn, blessed me and I got my alone time in as well.
I've been thinking a lot about laying down "self" for my family. Many of us stay home but we don't truly embrace family....we whine and complain and look for every opportunity we can to "escape" for Mommy time. I'm sure there is most certainly a time for "mommy time"...but I know that today God was well-pleased that I chose to lay down "the only thing I do for me" for my son....and I know that his heart was truly blessed and encouraged to go on the "secret" ride that Mom likes to take.
The choices I make today will have repercussions 5, 10, 15 years from now. I need to be more consistent in choosing to SHOW love to my little ones. After all, I'll always have ME with myself...but I've learned how quickly these young adults grow up and leave home. I look for any opportunity to interact with them....in 18 years I will have all the ME time I need...and that really isn't that far from now, is it?
For over 20 years Proverb 14:1 has been a life verse of mine, "The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands." I ask God almost daily to help me make choices that would truly BUILD my home and family....because it seems to be human nature to pick those choices that actually lead to tearing down our homes and families. Or maybe it is simply MY nature...years ago I realized that my "first response" very often was a "tearing down" choice. God has worked and worked with me on this issue. He is so FAITHFUL to complete the good works He begins in our lives.
This a.m. I made the right choice. I'm praying that the rest of the day goes as well. How's that prayer go "and now it's time to get out of bed"? :::snort:::
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