Courageous Joy

Early A.M. Choice or Where the Rubber met my Road

"Mom, can I come with you?" ARGH...so close....Stacia and Zander were still asleep. I was up. I could get a BIKE ride in...finally....and then the plea. Stacia had been up last night. She would NOT go to sleep. I finally put her in the crib to "cry herself to sleep". I needed a bit of distance after rocking, feeding, changing and her still bouncing around. 25 minutes later things were calm. I went to go into my room and the door stuck. I gave a little push and found Stacia asleep by the door. She'd climbed out of the crib, off my bed and to the door. She'd never gotten out of the crib or off my bed before. She is incredibly strong willed - God is going to do amazing things through her determined spirit. She woke up. She wanted to cuddle and so we got into bed and cuddled and I watched *Here's Lucy* to keep myself awake. Finally, at 4:00, she fell asleep and I dropped her into her crib. It was a blessing that I was up now, early enough to go on my ride of solitude. I needed that quiet time to focus on what God would have me do today.

We've been studying "Our 24 Family Ways" during family worship. These principles are built around six areas of life: authorities, relationships, possessions, work, attitudes and choices. Each area has four "ways". Each "way" has a week of study that goes along with it. We review all the "ways" each week as we move to new "ways". A few weeks back we studied, "We love one another, treating others with kindness, gentleness and respect." Since I am also leading a Bible Study on I John, the subject of love is timely. I'd done some word studies. The upshot is that agape love is a choice, a decision of the will....it's laying down our life sacrificially for others. It's an action. It's NOT warm fuzzy feelings - that's phileo. Last week our way was, "We serve one another, humbly thinking of the needs of others first".

What was I going to do? I'd worked for WEEKS to get up and out of the house for my "daily" bike ride...and as I rode down the driveway I heard Nolan call, "Mom, can I come with you." ARGH. I was irritated. I sighed. I looked up the driveway and there he stood soaking wet (15 second shower so he could hurry and catch me :::snort:::) and barefoot.

What would I do? What should I do? This is one of the few things I do "for myself". I love my time ALONE on bike rides. I pray and worship and recharge....but here was my 7 yo so eager to join me. He would slow me down. He would talk. He is a TALKER - and he's the one with speech problems so it requires real effort to converse with him. "We love one another, treating each other with kindness, gentleness and respect."

I had valid reasons to go alone. Many would say that I NEED time alone. It really is one of the few things I do "for myself". Would I choose to lay down my "self" and take him along?

I did. We had a great ride. There was more traffic than normal and Nolan, the talker, kept wanting to ride side by side. I decided we should ride down the alleys. The row of homes that abuts the green-belt do much to attract deer. Each yard has big watering troughs out and corn scattered on the ground. We were able to see about 40 deer in among the cactus and mesquite. It was beautiful.

We rode DOWN roller coaster hill. It was Nolan's first time to ride down such a "big mountain". He tired out at about 6 miles so at 6.5 he chose to stop at home. I rode another 5.5 miles. I thought that one route was 1.5 miles but discovered today (with my odometer working) that it is 2.6 miles.

I blessed my child's heart. I know that I "loved" him this a.m. God, in turn, blessed me and I got my alone time in as well.

I've been thinking a lot about laying down "self" for my family. Many of us stay home but we don't truly embrace family....we whine and complain and look for every opportunity we can to "escape" for Mommy time. I'm sure there is most certainly a time for "mommy time"...but I know that today God was well-pleased that I chose to lay down "the only thing I do for me" for my son....and I know that his heart was truly blessed and encouraged to go on the "secret" ride that Mom likes to take.

The choices I make today will have repercussions 5, 10, 15 years from now. I need to be more consistent in choosing to SHOW love to my little ones. After all, I'll always have ME with myself...but I've learned how quickly these young adults grow up and leave home. I look for any opportunity to interact with them....in 18 years I will have all the ME time I need...and that really isn't that far from now, is it?

For over 20 years Proverb 14:1 has been a life verse of mine, "The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands." I ask God almost daily to help me make choices that would truly BUILD my home and family....because it seems to be human nature to pick those choices that actually lead to tearing down our homes and families. Or maybe it is simply MY nature...years ago I realized that my "first response" very often was a "tearing down" choice. God has worked and worked with me on this issue. He is so FAITHFUL to complete the good works He begins in our lives.

This a.m. I made the right choice. I'm praying that the rest of the day goes as well. How's that prayer go "and now it's time to get out of bed"? :::snort:::