Monday, October 19, 2020

How Am I REALLY Doing?

 Several have asked me how I "really" am doing. 

This is a TOTALLY new season. I have enjoyed older children, the freedom to meet ladies for tea and lunch, the ability to take a day here and there and go play all day....I have abruptly left that season behind. 

I wasn't prepared for it to feel so overwhelming - but it's territory I remember. It's like those crazy, twilight days when  you bring your first newborn home and wonder, "What did we think we were doing to be trusted with a newborn?" One is on call 24/7 alert. Another depends deeply on you. Sleep is interrupted.  New routines have to be developed. Life begins to center around home.  One finds ways to entertain AT HOME and counts the minutes until a spouse or child comes home to help. ::snort:: 

In the same way, my sleep is short.  I cram every task I can into the hours when Dad naps. Until the ramp is built I really can't take Dad out, it is quite a bit of work to take him out right now anyway. My muscles ache as I do a lot of lifting to enable Dad to "stand" and "move."  I've not been able to accept invitations to play.   His discharge papers state he needs to receive 24/7 supervision.  Now, he was not in 24/7 line of sight in the center....

Millie loves to grab wood from the woodbox

We quickly realized the biggest fall danger dad has is his certainty he CAN walk.  The solution is simply to have someone with him when he is awake.  If  I duck out while he is reading the paper, he is apt to forget and decide he can walk "that little bit." I've caught him several times just as he began to fall.  Twice when grandkids were here he stood up without assistance. I love that - but still one of us needs to be near in case we are needed. He has horrendous bruises from all the falls he has taken.  The hope and prayer is he WILL eventually be able to walk around home, with no assistance other than a walker. Currently, he needs one of us to have him in our sight when he is awake.

I am perplexed. In all the scenarios discussed with the heart surgeon, Dad being unable to move without assistance wasn't mentioned. We continue to pray for Dad's complete recovery. He IS in better spirits here at home. I don't see an improved quality of life resulting from the quadruple bypass. I see the opposite...but he still has 3 1/2 months before he reaches the magical 6 month post-surgery mark. This is the point where they consider he will have reached the level of recovery we can expect.  

At home the evenings end with Farkle and MacGyver.  That beats the nursing center any night according to Dad. 



Yes, we're tired. Yes, the days are long. Yes, there are challenges. But this is family. We are blessed to have Dad at home. We are blessed to have such ready ministry at our fingertips. This matters too. 

And Then There Were Apples!

 This week there were apples!!!!  In the end there were 40 quarts of applesauce, 6 bags of dried apples,  3 bags of apple chips, and one tray of fruit roll ups. 


But first....there was this.

I have been waiting for apples on sale for .99, but I caved. I am not sure we're going to see them that cheap this year. These were YUMMY....and $1.79 a lb. I bought 5 cases - 100 lbs - $179 dollars....I didn't save a lot of money processing them myself...but they are all added sugar free. Dad likes to eat applesauce, Stacia and I use it in our oatmeal, and we replace oil with it as well in some baking recipes. 

I spent  12 hours on Friday making sauce and canning, canning, canning. I WILL FIND A SECOND CANNER BEFORE NEXT YEAR.  I also started a dehydrator load of fruit roll ups and apples drying.   Krista provided me a burst of energy when she got home and began helping....and then she got GG involved. 


Saturday and Sunday I finished the apple slices....we turned 4 cases into sauce and used 1 case for the rest.  One reason I caved on buying apples is the BOXES are great for storing our potato harvest.  But then I've not written about the garden or the big harvests this year yet.....

Note - this is the first time I used the Victorio Food Strainer. The waste spout broke. I've ordered a new part. I'm going to have to look for one with MEDAL parts...and the little motor to add to this is looking better all the time. Though I DID get a bit of an arm workout in. LOL 

Sunday, October 18, 2020

"Baby Snow"

Cory works on Sundays and Arielle and Benny often visit. I suspected, with the snow, they'd be over to play at Baachan's Playground. They made it home before the others got home from church. 

He noticed IMMEDIATELY GG's Mickey Mouse shirt. Score. GG wasn't so sure when I suggested he wear it today. I told him I bought it for him JUST for the grands who are all totally INTO Mickey. 

Dad acquired a stack of National Geographic Magazines during his time away. I put them in the front room and there are some amazing photos. Benny enjoyed looking at the photos...

He was quick to notice Baachan needed a little help. 

Benny went outside this morning and labeled the snow "Baby snow," but he did note it was cold. I meant to make it outside to play with them, but as often happens these days, something came up, one thing led to another and by the time I could break free....they were coming back inside. LOL  Thanks to Arielle for sharing some photos. 



Poor little guy had big emotions today. Mama began preparing his room for the addition of a new brother. Change can be hard for all of us. 

I was happy to have the outside visit today! 

First Snow of 2020

 Yesterday, Cy and Crew, Jamin, and Krista and Luke were all here to visit before they (along with Alex and another friend, Josiah) went to try their hand at an Escape Room. 

Stacia stayed home and watched Olivia, Carrie's daughter (as in Cy and Crew). She had a huge list compiled of things for them to do. They kept busy. Livie told me, "This was the best day ever." We loved having them visit.....

Dad began to plan and take steps to get to church this a.m. We did the bath and shaving last night. He woke up at 0430 to be sure he didn't miss his ride. ::snort:: I talked him into sleep and then....it snowed! 

I noted small flakes at 0500 when I took Alex to work...but it's still snowing.....Our ramp isn't built. It was deemed unsafe to try to take the chair and dad up the slippery slope out back. He and I didn't make it out of the house again....but maybe next week. 


Proof I DID actually take a shower and prepare for Church. LOL 

Millie loved the snow! Her first snow. I'm not sure she'll love it as it gets deeper....

This very young bull visited our garden plot...He's not one of the four who have been coming the last few weeks. 


Maybe fall is gone - nah! Not yet! It's only Octo 18th! 

It has continued to snow all morning. Dad finished his paper and chose to transfer to the couch for a nap. I had minutes to begin the great blog catch up of 2020. 



Friday, October 16, 2020

Lord, Help GG's Heart Owies or GG is HOME!

 In the last post Dad was heading to surgery. If you aren't a Facebook friend it must have seemed like we dropped off the face of the earth.  I won't copy all the FB updates....but here's a summary and I will be backdating posts through the winter... LOL  Summer and Fall are just too busy to keep up. 

Benny came over to visit with GG one last time before we headed to Anchorage for surgery. He prayed a sweet prayer that GG kept in his heart, and shared with doctors and nurses for the next months..."Lord, Help GG's heart owies." 


On the 4th of August we prayed together, then Stacia, Michael and I moved into the RV and up to Anchorage with Dad. Krista was training that week on base so it was nice for her to have an affordable place to stay as well. 

We checked Dad into the hospital on Aug. 5th. I stayed with him until he was being wheeled into surgery. 

We were told he'd be in the ICU for 2 - 4 days and the hospital for 9 - 14. Due to his age they suspected the later.  The medical staff at Alaska Regional are wonderful. They knew I am Dad's POA and they communicated well with us as Dad wasn't able to do so.  Walking out of the hospital and knowing we'd not be able to visit until he was released  was HARD. 
Mom gave me this sweat shirt. It's too big now, but it feels like a warm hug. I've been thinking about Mom a lot. Her last coherent thoughts had been for Dad's care. I'd assured her we would take care of Dad. I know she may not be able to "hear" me, but I found myself telling her we were doing the best we could to take care of dad. It helped to remember this was Dad's decision. 

Dad did not "wake up" for 9 days. One doc was ready to implement Dad's medical directive and take him off life support. His heart surgeon and our family agreed if he showed no improvement in a week we would implement his medical directive. This was made more difficult as we couldn't visit the hospital due to Covid-19. 

People around the world were praying for dad (and still are). We knew God saw Dad,  and we believe the Holy Spirit was able to speak to Dad even in his state. We believed he knew he was never alone. We  prayed before surgery and declared God is good, and THIS was the day the Lord had made. We chose to rejoice. 

In the end, Dad did not leave the hospital until Sept 1st. When he left he was still not able to sit up, walk, stand, or take care of any of his needs. He WAS off the feeding tube. They talked us into admitting him to a skilled nursing center. The goal was for him to continue to improve, have daily PT, OT, and such and come home fit and strong. We were told we could not touch or see Dad,  he would go directly from the ambulance to the nursing center. I talked to the ambulance company and they let me know when they would be showing up. We met the ambulance outside the center so Dad would know we were still close by. This proved to be good as he was very confused. He didn't know where he was being taken and for days thought he was at our house in the basement. 




 In addition to Michael, Stacia and I, Arielle and Benny, and Yadira and her girls joined us. 

When the doors opened we cheered, and barked. Dad was excited to see Millie (and us). Chaplain Michael may have broken the rules and TOUCHED Dad - and prayed with him. 
I LOVE this photo

The next day we began our window visits. Note, if family has more photos they'd like added - send them to me, these are the ones I have available. At the first visit, I joked to Dad he had always known it would come to visiting through a glass window. LOL Window visits can be frustrating, but we were excited to have this connection. We began drawing and writing on his window. He looked forward to the visits. We were surprised more folks did not have visitors. We always had lots of eyes watching our visits. 

 



Even Millie made window visits


Annie, Gideon and Bella Visit


Bennie is surprised he is allowed to draw on the window

The falls began the week he arrived. No one was able to tell us what happened. They would hear a thud and discover him.  The first fall resulted in an ER visit. The ER doc called and asked if Mike and I would like to see Dad and bring him back to the center. Dad was telling everyone he had "busted out of jail." He also told them it would take a long time for me to get there as his daughter was a "very slow driver." He thought he was in OR, knew he lived in AK, but thought our van was his van and we were coming to get him from Alaska. We picked him up and transported him back to the center. It was NOT easy. It was here we learned that he was still a mechanical lift and was unable to assist with moving himself. We realized we needed to make some adaptations to our house in order to bring him home.  It was also during this ride we were able to reach my brother Will so he and Dad could talk. Dad had been unable to connect via phone. I joked with Will that he got an "I love you." When we pulled up at the facility dad said, "Humph, so you're putting me back in jail," and wouldn't look or talk to me. He got over it by the next window visit. 

The nurses were mad we were called and said we could all have been injured. He fell 7 times in the month he was in the center. He was taken to the ER twice in a month. At one point we were asked not to visit as he got excited and fell when we visited. We deemed this to be a CYT move as we were THERE when we visited and knew only one of the falls had happened during a window visit. 

The "problem" is they are a no restraint facility. They couldn't put up a bed rail or a seat belt on the wheel chair. They assumed he was falling out of bed or reaching too far for things and falling out of his chair.  They continued to tell us he needed at least another 4 weeks in the facility. We determined to bring him home when the ramp we are having built on our house is finished. 

Sunday, the 4th,  I got a call as we left church. Dad was being taken to the ER again.  They weren't sure how he'd fallen. Michael and I decided we would figure out how to get him into the house and move him ASAP. 

Monday, the 5th were full of several conversations - the upshot being we removed him from the facility on the 7th of October with it documented that his cranky daughter was "removing him from treatment at least a month early." I felt confident in this move. His nurses agreed it was the right move. The official stance is still that Dad would be "safer" in a facility as we can't provide 24/7 supervision.  But, he wasn't safe in the facility. I keep a far closer eye on ONE person than they could with a floor of patients. 

Dad came home 2 months and 2 days post surgery....what an adventure he has had. 
He has 24 hour oxygen

We were able to guide the chair down the slope in the back of the house and these 3 lifted him over the step and into the house. 

The stair lift made it possible to bring dad home. 

Here's an odd 4 generation photo....GG, Papa, Daddy, and Benny 

Papa allowed Benny one ride....

Luke and Reno dropped by to say, "Welcome Home," and share dinner. In the craziness of the past months I'm not sure I introduced Luke to the blog. Luke is a man from church whom Krista is dating. Reno is an English Mastiff who Millie claims as her play buddy. 

Stacia made some yummy chicken pot pies. We've not had tuna or salmon since Dad came home - but Salmon will be on the menu again starting this week. We still are not sure WHY they were feeding Dad tuna every lunch and dinner for 3 weeks. They confirmed they were - Dad was not making that up. 

Stacia also made this cute cake! 


GG and Benny were thrilled to be together again. LOL 


 I began to catch a glimmer of how my life was changing - maybe I'll write more about that later. 

Dad is home and happy. Some have asked if he's "better than surgery," or "back to pre-surgery health." No, not really.  His heart is better, but he is very weak. He is not able to stand, sit, do anything without assistance. He HAS stood by himself when grandkids are around. He was released with the understanding he needs 24 hour supervision. He IS getting better. He is MUCH LESS confused now that he is home, and we hope to see him progress in this area. 

Our 11 days have been full of establishing home health care...we've had 3 nurses, a Speech Therapist (swallowing/choking is a problem), an Occupational Therapist, and a Physical Therapist in the house.  The intake appointment felt intrusive and a bit aggressive. Since I've met the others and they've read a few notes to me - I get it. They were told we removed dad from a safe environment against the advice of the professionals.  All who come regularly have commented we made the best decision, they are impressed with how we've changed our home (ADA toilets, grab bars, stair lift, ramp in the planning stages) to get dad home. They are encouraged by the love and level of care he is receiving at home.  I've been advised to get ahead of the dementia curve and put door alarms on the house - other than that we are good. 

I think we could become an elder "day care" with all the modifications to the house.