March Family Gathering

Technically, this month we celebrate GG, Cory, Kaelyn and Ellie. We didn't meet in January or February. Michael and I caught up with most everyone, but they needed to be sung too and to move to the front of the dessert line...so we added in Annie, Nolan, Jamin, Liv, Josi and Alex. Kaelyn doesn't enjoy being the center of the attention and isn't in the photo. I have a ton of Ellie photos and will post them separately. LOL 

Back - Nolan, GG, Cory, Alex
Front - Annie, Jamin, Liv, Josi

We had thought we may be outside today - but not quite yet. Luke and the kids made use the snow for a snowball fight. 

The new kids gate is installed and working. 

Sure enough - I was out of ice. These three volunteered and we discovered Bushes Bunches has ice. 

Allie, Nolan and Stacia in back. 

Uncle Luke and Ellie

We added the element of a group game to our gatherings in November. This month I tried to stay with a green Saint Patrick's Day theme....I was shocked how little I could find locally. It was still fun.  The idea is for this to be something everyone can enjoy and for it to be totally random. This month I simply put the cups on a table, and everyone picked one. We started with the youngest and worked to the oldest. There were hot wheel cars, t-shirts, breath mints, a pot of gold, gift cards and cash in the cups. 

Krista - not sure what she got

Liv picked a DQ gift card. 

Luke found some green...

...as did Jamin.  LOL 

Woot! Jojo chose the $50 cup. 

Carrie and girls

Always a jokester 

Benny got green chocolate coins

Annie got some fancy gloves I think. 

Even Ellie got to pick a cup. 

We were glad to have Mark and Mona (on the couch) with us this month. 

Gideon got some cash. 

GG won the $100 this month. 

Michael had captured a great photo which led to a meme competition. I need to have him write about the captions and the winners. I'm fuzzy on the details. 

This was the first family gathering where we began to FEEL how close some upcoming moves are getting. Let's not think about it yet! We missed JaRissa. Jared is in the throes of another campaign. 

Fun @ JBER

We are SO going to miss Krista and Luke when they move this summer. Krista is currently a True North Chaplain imbedded with the 715th Air Mobility Operations Groups. This has involved traveling OFTEN to Guam and Hawaii to care for troops in those locations as well as the troops here in Alaska. Krista is known for her gift-giving ability, and she has surprised us with all sorts of unique gifts from her travels. She and Luke are also known as a FUN Aunt and Uncle. They know where the best parks are in town and on base, they bring great games to gatherings, give snow machine and ATV rides, provide easy attendance at Air Shows, bring water ballons to family gathering, are always up for a snowball fight and Krista keeps us abreast of opportunities on JBER.  Our home couldn't participate due to schedules, but Bre and Larissa sent photos. I should have blogged it in March and I'd have many more details to share...but here is what I remember from what I was told. 

The 715th hosted this day to showcase their capabilities and the equipment they use to move things around the Pacific Command. Arielle couldn't make it in, and Krista came out to the Valley and picked up Benny and Danny. Some are sure to wonder, if not ask, why there are no photos of Charles. Charles is in a special program catered to his needs and learning abilities. The others are homeschooled which caters to their needs and learning abilities. Today - they went on this field trip. Charles was at school - which he loves. Frankly, every day he can ride on the big yellow bus is a field trip day for Charles. 

Nolan drove in with Bre and her kids. 

Larissa and Noah met everyone at JBER. 

They enjoyed the flightline, explored a park or two, had lunch and hung out in Krista's office while she had a pop-up counseling appointment. Then they all came back to the valley.

These first three photos are from Larissa. The rest are from BreAnne. 

Noah & Jojo happy to together

Trudy and Noah and a big plane

Jojo and Uncle Nolan

The kids raided Krista's office and scored a LOT of pirate loot. They also thoroughly enjoyed visiting the pirate park. Note Annie in the background with her loot! 

Danny, Annie and Benny

Benny

Bella

Danny

Gideon

Annie

Noah, Danny, Bella, Trudy (in front) Annie, Gideon
Benny, Jojo (also in front)

Bre and her children 

Note Trudy trying to pull her pacifier from 
Bre's pocket. ::snort:: 

Larissa, (Trudy) & Noah

Jojo & Nolan

Aunt Koko with Bre, Annie, Benny & Gideon 

Trudy and Noah 

Bella is growing up - fast! 

Gideon 

Danny

Jojo

We need a room like this where everyone can be lined up and secured. ::snort:: 

I happened to be at CoRielle's watching Charles (and Lyra?)  when the boys came home. They had a blast. Bre commented about her kids, "I think they think the military is all about the snacks, cool parks and airplanes." Her kids grabbed recruitment brochures. 

Memories were made by all. 

Editor's note: Not to worry, Papa, Bachan and Aunt Koko will make sure they have an accurate view of military service before they act on the brochures. ::snort:: 

G Dog (GG) Goes to Stem

Arielle has been sick. Actually, the kids have been cycling through the crud and Arielle caught pneumonia. She's been quite sick.  The boys are feeling better now, and Arielle is feeling worse.  I miss the boys stopping by. I cannot WAIT for summer so I can spend more time with the grands again. LOL Anyway, the boys love STEM with their Homeschooling group, Charles was at his program at the public school, and I was available to take the boys to STEM so Arielle could rest with Ellie. 

This meant GG was going to have go to STEM because Michael was in OR for his neurology appointment.  He's a good sport - though he wasn't 100% sold on the idea of a room FULL of lots of YOUNG siblings as well as 20 or so STEM participants. 

Danny got ahold of my phone and took 53 photos of his leg, GG's leg and GG. I thought this one captured Dad's mood. 

 Benny enjoyed working on two projects. 

Danny played. 

GG Read. BTW, we've discovered he likes the young adult biographies we'd collected over the years of Heroes of the Faith. 

Arielle decided she would be happy for a bit more time, so we stopped for lunch at the uncles place (also known as the local McDonald's).

We all had a good laugh when Nolan noticed we were there. He KNOWS I don't often do McDonalds. He's been seeing a woman around town who looks like me and in fact has almost hugged her at the grocery store before realizing at the last minute she isn't me. He got a glimpse of me out the corner of his eye and thought, "Oh, that woman who looks like Mom is here," and then realized with time it WAS me. 

Nolan came over to visit and offer the boys ice cream. Danny took this incident to tell me "God says we should have ice cream." 

I challenged them to come up with a verse to support his declaration. 

Benny offered God wants us to be happy. 

Meanwhile Nolan brought two ice creams out. 

Danny looked up and said, "God says, if Uncle Nolan gives you ice cream, BE HAPPY." Words to live by. 

I kind of like Danny's self-portrait. 

Grief Update - Trial Prayer Requests

Alrighty,now. It's been a month since I blogged and there is much to blog. Before I put my hand to "catching up" I thought I'd write THIS post...to share a bit of our heart and the areas where we could use prayer/support. 

I have been asked, "Was this Christmas easier than last Christmas?" 

No. 

I can think of a few reasons. As I've written before, we were numb last Christmas. The truth of "never" is setting in. We will never celebrate another birthday, Christmas, family gathering with Josiah this side of heaven. 

And then there is this, when we gather, Josiah is always missed. His absence is glaring, his presence is felt which brings comfort and an aching longing at the same time. That doesn't go away. 

Due to being house bound, first with a knee injury and then with a virus, I have spent a lot of time reading this month. This has been good for me.  People have recommended authors who "get it."

I have found my grief being questioned. I have concluded several things....first, a sudden, violent death leads to a complicated grieving process (so says my counselor).  My counselor also encourages me that it is healthy to admit emotions, it's OK to cry - EVEN NOW, it is perfect to hold the joy and the sorrow together and the intensity of each is enhanced by that holding. My intimacy with Jesus increases as I admit where I am. Lament is holy. 

I have this silly sticker of "Joy and Sorrow" on my laptop! Way before the movie, God impressed the concept of both existing together on our hearts. Since I need a photo for this wordy post....

If Josiah was worth loving, he is worth grieving. I will not rush this process or force it to conform to an arbitrary timetable or chart. This journey will be what it will be. 

Maybe a better question would be, "How was this Christmas?" 

It was gut-wrenchingly hard and breathtakingly beautiful! I look forward to sharing some of the beautiful moments with you as I catch up. 

But FIRST - I have thought hard about what to share about the trial as we don't want a bunch of stuff "out there" which could be problematic. Please understand I am going to make some broad statements and if you feel a need to know details those are for in person discussions rather than internet perusal. 

Trial - we are not looking for the trial to bring healing or ultimate closure to our hearts. That role belongs to Jesus. It took a fair bit of wrestling for me to be able to write I am not looking for vengeance, but justice. I attempt daily to walk out the forgiveness I determined to extend to the murder defendant. Justice belongs to God and in our country, there ARE laws of conduct, and we DO look for the justice that our local system can provide.  

The trial was slated to be the first two weeks of December.  Then we were told to keep January clear and finally it was scheduled for the first two weeks of February. As we begin to hear more of the details of the trial the reality of having to watch and hear our son murdered sets in.    Here are some thoughts and ways you can pray for us as those dates approach. 

I find myself praying as Jesus did in Luke 22...."If there is any other way to get justice, please let us avoid this - but your will be done."  If there is some way God can be glorified in a trial - we're there. 

Prayer Requests:
1. If a plea deal which brings justice could be settled - even at this last date - that would be great! Pray for our souls to accept a trial may simply be the way God has willed for this to be walked out.

2. Our hearts. Pray for comfort, forgiveness, God's presence for all. 

3. Pray for our facial expressions and for our verbal expressions not to get us kicked out of court. 

4. Pray for God to be glorified. 

5. Pray for each of us as we decide which portions of the trial we will witness. 

6. Pray for a fair, strong, courageous jury. Pray none of them are traumatized by the evidence they must consider. Pray that God uses even this in the life of the jurors to draw them to Him. 

7. Pray for truth to be revealed and acted on by both jury and judge. 

8. Pray for the three who are traveling up here to help with GG, be with us at court, and help for those weeks.  Easy travels.

9. Pray for those arranging childcare to attend, and for all our children during that week (there are 14 of them)as the adults may be wonky. 

10. Prayers for HEALTH are appreciated. 

In addition...the time set for the trial falls on many "big" family dates. I don't even know how to pray here...but it pulls on my heart. 

7th - Josi's first birthday

8th - Nolan's Birthday 

9th - would have been Josiah's birthday

10th - Livie's birthday 

11th - Alex's birthday 

14th - BreZaak and Our anniversary 

20th - Jamin's birthday 

I was asked, "What do you think Josiah would want for an outcome in all of this? What would he like the price of his life to be?" 

Wow. Good question, isn't it? It's given me something to consider these past few days. 

I'm just starting to forge an answer. Josiah loved big and well. He was gentle and kind - but he wasn't a pushover. He was forgiving but he erected boundaries. 

Josiah would want God to be glorified.  He loved telling people "about his Jesus" and he'd want Jesus to be glorified.  He would want us to forgive, as that's best for all and commanded.

 As for the price of his life? He gave his LIFE protecting those he cared about. He would want his wife/daughters/family/community protected in the same way. The court system may help in that protection, ultimately our lives are in God's hands. I think he would want the defendant contained as long as he is a danger to others. I have no idea what sort of sentence that would be.

There now. Many of the swirling thoughts are out and I'll start showing the happy, beautiful side of the last month - or catching up as we bloggers like to call it. LOL 

Friday!!!

I thought my knee felt well enough to run errands. My first stop was counseling. I discovered driving results in pain. I never realized how much knee motion was required to drive. 

I ended up running one errand and leaving the rest. It was a good thing I went home.

Bre and the kids dropped by, can you see what they brought me? A GRINCH nutcracker! I have started picking one up if it signifies something of our year. The year Krista went active duty I found a female in BDUs, one year a gal skiing for Stacia's adventures, one with gingerbread...I love this one. BTW the grinch responded well to love, kindness, community...its not really a story mainly about stealing and hating Christmas.

 Arielle and Benny dropped by so Arielle could help Stacia style her hair. 

Benny went through some training with Millie. It was cute to watch.

In keeping with my enforced resting regime I read another book and Michael made breakfast for dinner.

Stacia Update

Stacia met with a friend and was invited to be one of her bridesmaids. She and Allie will be in two wedding in June...I think one week apart.  It's an exciting season at the Bible College. 

 Stacia is done with this semester! 

She took her last final and scored well. 

There is one class grade she is waiting on, but we are predicting she will continue her 4.0 college streak. Three semesters in a row...and that first year was a doozy of grief, therapy and blech! 

Stacia is on student government this year, enjoying an online friend who is now living in the dorm and taking in person classes, and doing well with grades. She continues to be frustrated about her employment situation...maybe this lesson of living by faith will be a good one for a future missionary.