*Age of Opportunity* by Paul David Tripp

I read this book about 10 years ago, when our oldest was 11/12. At the time we were youth leaders and we were seeing some amazing things among the youth we worked with. However, we continued to be warned, "wait until YOU have a teenager". And "all teens must rebel in order to make their faith their own". (We've not experienced that to be true). We didn't believe that we had to buy into society's view of "youth"; we searched the Bible, watched families with teens who were respectful, and read, read, read.

I know that I'll sound like a broken record to SHS members, but I have to comment that *The Myth of the Teenager* by Michael Platt was the first step in helping us form what we believe is a Godly plan for raising youth. We ran across this article when our oldest was 8 (13 years ago). ::snort::

After Michael Platt's article, I would recommend *Age of Opportunity* for those who either have youth or plan to have them in the future. With two of our children graduated and three more young men in our home, it was time to read this book again.

I started reading it about a year ago. I bogged down. I thought that this book was so good I needed to host it as a book discussion on my blog. I set up a book discussion blog but then thought that managing two blogs was more computer time than I wanted to invest. That's as far as THAT went. I finished reading this again on our camping trip. THEN I bogged down trying to decide how to review it. Should I host it as a discussion? Should I post chapter reviews? Two weeks later, I'm simply going to post a "quick" summary.

Mr. Tripp uncovers the heart issues that affect parents and their teenagers. He contends that this age can be an age of opportunity rather than simply a season of survival. The book is divided into three parts. The first part is about "Clearing the Debris". In this section he leads us to examine OUR hearts and to see if we have idols that are getting in the way of making the most of mentoring our youth.

In section two we move on to "Setting Godly Goals". I'll simply list the goals here to whet your appetite. Focusing on spiritual struggle, developing a heart of conviction and wisdom, teaching a teenager to understand and react redemptively with his culture, developing a heart for God in your teenager (we could discuss this one for a bit), and preparing teenagers for leaving home. Each goal is defined, and steps are given to reach these goals.

Section three is titled, "Practical Strategies for Parenting Teens". The first strategy is "Project Parenting". Here is where you focus on one God-given project per child at a time. This is a strategy that we use with all ages of children as I've shared before on the blog. The second strategy is "Constant Conversation". It's so easy to begin to buy into the world's line, "your teens do NOT want to talk to YOU". I've found the reverse to be true. Our youth DO want to talk to us. They value our opinion and are happy to share their thoughts and confusion - if we ask. The third strategy is "Leading Your Teenager to Repentance".

I did not agree with everything in this book. Mr. Tripp seems to assume that all teens will have a frenzied schedule and no time at home - and that there is nothing a parent can do about this. I disagree. I think a life skill is teaching a young person how to carefully choose what activities to become involved in. Mr. Tripp does not homeschool and so assumes those school hours are lost hours. We have carefully tried for over 14 years to have "youth" and not "teens" and so the constant reading of "teen" grated a bit - but I'm used to that. LOL

I liked the sections that included "signs of a pursuit of God" and "signs of maturity". There are lists and lists and lists in this book. One list I found especially helpful is questions that help to teach a child how to think biblically. He states that many families have "years of unfocused family devotions". These are not without merit, but in Mr. Tripp's opinion could be better if we used every opportunity to point out a Biblical worldview to our youth. He states that "Everything we learn from Scripture should be attached to a biblical system of thinking." p 161.

Questions to focus "family devotions" and be sure we are communicating a biblical view of life:

~What does this passage teach us about God, His character and His plan?

~What do we learn about ourselves, our nature, our struggle, and the purpose of our lives?

~What does this passage teach us about right and wrong, good and bad, and true and false?

~What instruction is here about relationships, about love, authority, etc.?

~What does this passage teach us about life, its meaning and purpose?

~What does this passage teach us about the inner man, the heart and how it functions?

~What have we learned from this passage that would guide the way we live and make decisions?

~How does this passage help us understand and critique our culture?

"As we teach our children to ask and answer these questions, we will be showing them how to use the things they read in the Bible to think about their own practical life situations." p 162. I am excited about the above questions because they are easy to use with ANY passage of Scripture, providing a bit more structure than read and discuss - which is what we've done...and works...but I like a bit more focus. LOL

There were simply so many good points in this book that I can't do it justice in a review. It would make an excellent book discussion (we've done it before on SHS). I've thought about hosting it here - but I'm torn between this one (which I've done before), "Heartfelt Discipline" or "Ministry of Motherhood"....we'll see. LOL Look for a book discussion to begin "soon" - if there is an interest?????

I would recommend this book. I do want to say that I think that more could have been said about the fact that youth have free will. That I CAN'T develop a heart for God in my child...that will be a sovereign work of God's grace in my child's life. I can plow the ground, I can teach the truth...and I do...but I pray and fast for God to draw and save my child. I can't save or develop my child's heart - that's the work of God/Holy Spirit. I can remove obstacles.

SPRING READING TIME

 (books read in red ink)

This is hilarious! Don't you love getting wonderful ideas? Isn't it even better when you find others doing the same thing?

I set a goal for reading shortly after Mike returned. I had somehow accumulated many 1/2 read books on the nightstands (his and mine), as well as new series waiting to be started. I had much thinking time while out camping. I decided I would create a "spring reading" list.

I began to finish books that had been sitting around and to set some goals of fun reading to help me weather the "homeschool burn out season". My lists include pure twaddle, as well as books that reflect my current season of life (parenting youngsters, youth, healthy living, homeschooling...) You'll note my list contains a few books that I've posted reviews for in the past couple of weeks. I limited it to books that I have read since spring began. The majority of books on my spring list are ones that I've gotten from Paperback Swap and I need to READ them so that I can repost them. I think that's the point of the "swap"....currently I have stacks of new books to read staring at me day and night. I've included two fiction series from PBS and probably will NOT read them all. I simple chose two to START reading through my PBS stacks. I have books from JoAnna Carl, Nancy Ahterton, Donna Andrews and Ann B Ross still waiting. I will NOT get all these books read...but as my son says, "it's good to have a list anyway."

Isn't that Spring Reading Thing the cutest graphic? It appears there is a "reading challenge" going on among bloggers. It's too late to qualify for the "prize" but never to late to participate. You can read more about the Spring Reading Thing at Callapidder Days. You can also grab the graphic and leave a link to your list. Basically, you post your list of spring reading, put a link at her blog, and post a few book reviews...all things I'm already doing. There is no pressure to finish all the books on your list.

My Spring Reading Thing List

Health
The 7 pillars of Health - Don Colbert, MD
Baby Catcher - Chronicles of a Modern Midwife - Peggy Vincent

Parenting
The Age of Opportunity - Paul David TrippThe Out of Sync Child - Carol Stock Kranowitz, M.A.
The Ministry of Motherhood - Sally Clarkson


Homeschooling
A Mom Just Like You - Vickie and Jayme Farris
Teaching the Trivium - Harvey and Laurie Bluedorn
Biography/Auto-Biography
Fragments of Isabella - Isabella LeitnerSaving the Fragments - Isabella Leitner
Molly Brown - Unraveling the Myth - Kristen Iversen
Nicholas & Alexandra - Robert MassieDietrich Bonhoeffer - Michael Van Dyke

Fiction
Midwives - Chris Bohjalian
The King of Reid - Jamin GYada, Yada Prayer Group Get's Down - Neta Jackson
Nursery Crimes - Ayelet Waldman
A Playdate with Death - Ayelet WaldmanThe Big Nap - Ayelet Waldman
Tears of the Giraffe - Alexander McCall SmithMorality for Beautiful Girls - AM Smith
The Kalahari Typing School for Men - AM Smith
The Full Cupboard of Life - AM Smith
In the Company of Cheerful Ladies - AM Smith
Yada Yada Prayer Group - Neta Jackson
The Yada Yada Prayer Group Gets Real - Neta JacksonThe Yada Yada Prayer Group Gets Tough - Neta Jackson
The Yada Yada Prayer Group Gets Caught - Neta Jackson

Visual Spring Reading List...

Ah Hem - another son asked why I don't just read the Bible through three times this spring instead of trying to read all these. Welllllllll....I am also doing Esther and I am reading my Bible - but those aren't part of a Spring Thing - those are a Life Thing!

Prayers for Heather

Prayers for Heather

Heather, the young mom in the sidebar, is in need of prayers. I tried to get the photo to link to her blog but can't figure it out. For now, use the link above, if you'd like to read more about Heather and her life.

Heather is a young homeschooling mother who was diagnosed with a brain tumor this week. She will be leaving for Mayo clinic in the near future. She has 3 children and is no stranger to medical trials. Please take a moment and pray for her now...and then as you're led, continue to keep her in your prayers. You can read more about her family and the situation above, if you are so led.

I'll continue to look for a button that will take you directly to her updates.

Scenes from Today's Co-op

Setting up can be harder than a person would think!

Ugh - breaking down the boxes

Everyone is old enough to help! Honey - one of our members has bee hives, she brought honey to sell - yumm! Honey 2 My neighbor with her load of produce and cardboard - I thought this was darling!
Mike's day off has fallen on Friday. Friday: the day that begins early with speech, then picking up and sorting produce, then passing out produce, and drama class. Mike is such a good sport. He laughed and said, "it's normal". I guess he's learned to deal with an extroverted wife. ::snort::

During the kids' drama class Mike and I went out for lunch. We talked. I asked about produce co-op and he told me that every time I've done this it's been not only about produce, but about building community and relationships...he knows that's the way I am and he's fine with it. There are some great benefits to being married 23 years...you start to "get" each other eventually. ::snort::

Yes, I sterilized the basket!!!

Teriyaki Steak Marinade

Courtesy of cooks.com

1/2 C orange juice
1/4 C soy sauce
2 lg garlic cloves pressed
1/2 tsp ginger powder
1 T sugar (rapadura or honey)
2 T Olive Oil (or whatever you want)

Combine and use for steak marinade or a beef kabob marinade. Marinate at least overnight. Marinating 2 - 3 days helps tenderize some cuts of beef. Barbecue to desired doneness.

I used this for 5 hours and it was still yummy. I think it would be great with chicken too. We all liked it.

Highlights of Wednesday and Thursday

I spent nearly two hours yesterday at the base clinic. Why? I had to get a pregnancy test before I can get a referral to make an appointment to see my OB. Evidently, they drew my blood and went to lunch (or so the ladies at the women's health clinic guessed). After 1 1/2 hours they came and told me I was pregnant (I'd already done two home pg tests - so wasn't totally surprised). They put in a prescription for prenatal vitamins. I can't take these. They make me ill every pregnancy - I can't swallow big pills. I can't keep them down. Every time I get them though and try. I waited another 15 min and when they still didn't have them ready I told them I'd have Mike pick them up some time. Small bases are hilarious. When I went to turn in the slip for prenatals the tech said, "Aren't you Chaplain G's wife?" I said, "Shhhhh....it's still a secret!" ::snort::

I rushed home from the clinic, called the OB and can't be seen until the end of May, but at least it's scheduled. I am going to be visiting with Debbie, the dietitian soon. I'm really struggling to even get 1200 the last few weeks and know that I need 300 - 500 more calories than that. I'm hoping she can pep me up or help me figure out HOW to do that. LOL

It was gorgeous yesterday and we had a birthday party for Micky at the park. I got to tell Charly, Beth and Sherry our news....

Today we did school again....really enjoying our history reader. I'm about to give up on catching a fly. We've got lots of fruit flies and don't need to see any more of THOSE...we needed to watch a FLY eat...and such. Oh well. Maybe I'll try some chips and salsa instead of a banana, maybe TX flies like more spice. ::Snort:: Here's a photo of an experiment we did today. We were studying water bugs that walk on water. The photo is hard to see but the paper sunk and the needle floated.

We went to the park for a bit of time. We've not been to the homeschool park day all year. It was time. The kids had a great time. I had fun talking with moms that I don't usually see. One lovely Mom, Cindy, gave me two copies of Above Rubies. It looks to be full of great encouragement.

Picked Cy up from work. Picked Jamin and Jared up from their volunteer ministry. I got a quick co-op newsletter pulled together and will now go set up tables.

You're up to date with the latest from my house to yours.....she says in a strange broadcaster voice.

TESTING , TESTING...

*warning I'm fixin to wax eloquent! ::snort::

Testing is a big issue in homeschool circles this time of year. Should you or shouldn't you? Are tests an accurate measure of what a child knows? Have tests ever showed you something you didn't already know? I'm about to wade in with my opinions.

I took tests WELL. I really don't think I learned a whole lot in school. I could test well; then I did a brain dump. I don't personally feel that tests accurately measure what a child has learned in a year. For tests to do so, I would have to teach to the test. We have too much fun learning to put those sorts of artificial boundaries on our educational experience. Therefore, I do not think tests are really an accurate measure of what a child knows. Our first three children did not take tests. The first test our oldest took was the PSAT - where she scored really high. She is a test taker. I've realized since then, that though I don't believe in tests, I do need to make sure my children know HOW to take tests. I still don't organize our schedule around standardized tests or the SAT prep - but I have taken to teaching how to take a test. ::snort::

Furthermore, I've never been totally surprised by test results in 17 years of homeschooling. I've known we were strong, where they said we were strong. I've known we were weak, where they said we were weak. Tests can however confirm what we sense...and I suppose that could be a good reason to take tests. We've been testing this week. Math U See - my observations hold true. Did you know there are home tests to see if you are in menopause? I'm not. There are also home tests to see if you are pregnant. I am.

Want more details? Keep reading. Yes, we're "old". Yes, Mike's only been home three weeks. I call this one our deployment bonus. ::snort:: Yes, this test, as the Math U See tests we've taken this week, only confirmed my suspicions. Last Tuesday I nearly fainted - and that only happens when I'm pregnant.

I tested last Friday. Mike didn't come home until after the Good Friday service so I had a bit of time to find out and figure out how I wanted to tell him. When I found out I was pregnant with Stacia, Mike was in Korea. I had a month to figure out how to tell him. Christmas was coming so I put off saying anything until Christmas a.m. I gave Mike a quiver that I'd written part of Ps 127 on. In the quiver were 9 arrows...8 with names and birth dates...one with the estimated arrival date of Stacia. He was totally shocked - as were the kids. First he looked puzzled, and thanked me. Ever polite. Then I told him to look closely and he read the arrows and the moment he realized is on film....as well as the moments the children figured it out.

I ran and bought a new arrow. I wrapped a big bow around the top. I took a picture of the test results (I'd bought a bulk package of tests and the test result goes away - I tested twice to be sure) and taped it onto the bow too.

After the Good Friday service, I gave Mike a Blue Mountain Card. Mike is a read every word type of card receiver. This did get me in trouble when I was careful to read each word on His valentine's card this year, but didn't notice that the front had the legs of two women dangling off a bridge. ::Snort:: ANYWAY - at the end of the card I wrote, "Is there room in the quiver for one more arrow?"

I had time to retrieve the arrow while he read. He was properly "surprised". OK - we're both blushing to the tips of our gray roots! He has, after all, only been home 3 weeks. We do not usually tell others when I'm pregnant until the second tri-mester. I've had 5 miscarriages. I told Mike that I couldn't find the quiver and that I was going to put the arrow in the quiver and leave it at that. He laid the arrow on the bed and went to get the quiver.

Jared and Arielle came in. They saw the arrow. Jared immediately got it. Arielle read "preg...nant?" with a question in her voice.....then got red and smiled real big. Jamin was then brought in by Jared and shown the new arrow. He smiled his shy smile that always brightens my day. He asked how long we had known. I told him "Dad's known 5 minutes and I've known about 4 hours." This prompted him to say "From a HAIR appointment??" Mike teased him. "Yes, Mom goes to a full service salon...touch up, cut, wax, styled and a pregnancy test".

Nolan was ushered in and Jamin showed him the quiver. He explained that there is a verse that says children are arrows and each arrow in the quiver represents one of the children. The arrows have names and birthdays on them. Nolan counted them - 10. We don't have 10 kids. Then someone pointed out that there was no name on the arrow. When do we have a baby without a name? It took a lot of leading - but he got it. Then he said, "Oh, you mean you aren't playing a joke on us?" I guess he thought it was an April Fool's Day joke. Zander informed us that he doesn't want "any more boys in his room - only girl babies". The next day he had changed his mind. He now says the baby can sleep in his bed with him and be a BOY.

Mike cracked us all up. One of the boys said, "So you'll be HOW OLD when this one graduates?". Mike so sweetly looked at me and replied, "I've already committed to being an engaged father well into my 60's. ::snort:: Wait up there sonny, I can't get my walker over this trail!"

Josiah was at work. Can you tell none of this went as I'd planned? God is good; He won't let me cower for one moment. The children voted to put the quiver on the mantel and wait for Josiah to notice. He didn't notice Friday night. We were watching movies when he got home. He didn't notice before he left for work Saturday. He noticed immediately when he got home. He smiled and gave his low chuckle. This means that the tradition continues: I've been pregnant at every graduation. During every family circle someone asks for prayer for Mom and the Baby and I'm glad we told them early. I've prayed often since the last miscarriage 3 years ago, the week after Bre's graduation. I've pleaded with God not to make me walk that path again. We do covet your prayers.

Mike called his parents. I called mine. I called the girls on Easter and they "happened" to both be at Krista's host home. They were surprised. It's tough to think of so many memories being made when such a big part of our family isn't HERE...but life does move on. Bre kept saying, "Mom - I'm 22!" and I kept replying, "Bre, I'VE DONE THE MATH!" Krista told me I could have waited six years and I'd have grand kids. I told them both that it will be o.k. When they have kids they can take their aunt to the park. ::snort::

And me? Well, my response is one of great joy tinged with fear. I'm choosing joy and running to the Throne of Grace for strength and peace. The timing is a bit shocking. Really though....discovered on Easter and Born at Christmas...pretty cool. I realized that we could not have CHOSEN a better time to have a baby. This one will either be born when the girls are home for Christmas break or just before they arrive and they'll have two weeks with "her". Seems fair to have a girl and even the numbers, don't you think?

This will seem like a LONG pregnancy now that everyone knows before the second tri-mester...I'm really believing for a pregnancy without diabetes or high blood pressure. I've changed my diet, lost weight, I work out 5 times a week....I'm doing all I can and am leaving the rest with God.