Off the Shelf

My heart is full.  Two years ago, as I prepared to speak at Misawa's Spring Retreat on the Holy Habits of Secrecy, Silence, Solitude and Surrender, God began to move on my heart.  The retreat was a beautiful time with friends and God.  I knew the prep work God did in my heart before the retreat. I knew the things he called me to surrender at the retreat.  By the end of the summer He had impressed clearly on me that I was to practice those words He'd given me to share.  I did not know where He planned to take me. 

Via Google Images

I am the clay.

He is the potter. 

He was leading me deeper into the Secret Place with Him. I surrendered Chocolate - I thought that was greatly silly. I see now it was the first thing. 

God impressed deep in my spirit that I needed to learn more about silence and solitude. 

For the first time in over two decades, I took a break from teaching. I was silent for two years....the WILD (Women In Leadership Development) trainings that summer were the last time I taught, gave a devo, or spoke at a retreat. It hurt. I didn't understand it. I grieved...and in the silence and solitude I began to hear the voice of Jesus in new ways. 

I surrendered teaching. 

I surrendered local leadership positions.

I knew God told me to be faithful to my PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel) regional commitment...but in Feb 2013 that position abruptly ended when the Army Chief of Chaplains reorganized PWOC. I surrendered. 

I had more time now, it would be natural to begin teaching...but God.

 It wasn't time. I needed to let Him form what He desired in my life. 

Via Google Images

I was on a shelf - in an oven - and He was applying glazes, maturing gifts, leading me to new areas of freedom. I stayed on the shelf - in the oven. 

We moved, it would be natural to jump into leadership at a new location. It seemed a natural time to end my year of rest... I prayed. I nearly begged. He was silent on the issue.

 A dear friend reminded me to obey the last word God spoke, until I KNEW it was time to do something different.

Two years.

Two years of a teacher not publicly teaching.

Two years of a leader not leading.

Two years on the shelf.

And in those two years He worked.

I worked. I learned. I grew.

It was sometimes painful. It was always good.

I learned about self-care.

Via Google Images

I learned to obey when it made no sense.

I grieved the death of a loved Father in Law and the graduation of Jr.  I KNOW some of you cannot conceive how I would feel an empty nest with four children at home - get over it. I did. I'm sure I will feel it deeper in 9 years.

I learned to walk in freedom over food addiction.

He healed deep places in my heart and soul.

He led me to new areas of ministry - mentor groups.

He led me to new areas of service while I sat on the shelf - children's ministry -  I taught in new ways.

And now....

Five months ago the whisper to discipleship became a roar. EVERYWHERE  I turned I saw the responsibility of the church not to simply make "converts," but to make "followers of Jesus."   I suspected I would begin teaching again. Soon?

Maybe a devo - but I wasn't asked and didn't feel a green light to volunteer.

Maybe I'd teach an RE class - again I wasn't asked and didn't sense the go ahead to volunteer.

Others, who knew the journey I've walked, began to share they sensed my season on the shelf nearing an end.

I asked for prayer as the opportunities abounded.  I was careful to listen.

He began the familiar vision download.

I knew it would happen....

And then I heard the, "Go...."

Today, I came off the shelf. I didn't plan it that way. I don't think Michael planned it that way. It just  happened. Today I stood in the front of a chapel and was installed to lead a new ministry team for the upcoming year of women's ministry at Beale AFB. I stood...and I marveled that He chose to take me off the shelf....and it WAS clear when it was time - just as my dear friend had said it would be. I thought of the  teams I've served with in the past decades...local teams, regional teams, international teams.... such profoundly sweet memories.

The moment I officially came off the shelf

I planned to sit this year out. I planned to be a mentor if asked. I planned to coast until retirement and our new season of ministry. God planned for me to serve one more year in leadership while we are in the military. I am in awe of the team He is building - and I realized afresh the dear treasure every one of those women I've served with in the past years have been. Each one was used of God to shape me....locally, regionally and internationally.

Not only was I installed as President of PWOC...I was asked to teach the Family Bible study tonight. My husband needed me to stand in. I knew the time was right. I stood before the group of teens, women and men;  and  taught. For the first time in two years.

 Gal 4:1-6....God's word spoke powerfully to me. I was rusty. I was scared. I was emotional on the inside, as I realized I was coming off the shelf. God was smiling. I stepped out and obeyed to lead when I wanted to sit....and He gave me back the joy of teaching.

AND...it was the first time I've taught adult men.

Fascinating questions!

I'm learning to walk out the lessons of the past two years in this new season. I'm sure there will be more to learn. 

I am determined to take the new areas of healing and freedom into this new season. 

As many know, this is our final year of ministry in the military. I sense this season of ending is the beginning of the new season God is calling us to.

Via Christine Caine's Facebook Page

Choosing Joy!
©2014 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

Obedience - Faith Defined

 I've been working through Acts and Romans.  I'm hungrily tearing off big chunks of the  Life; and,  while I'm "sufficiently satisfied,"  I haven't had time to process well enough to share my thoughts. 

I've discovered Paul asks questions. Paul answers many of those questions - and tracking the answer back to the question really helps the book of Romans "gel." But it takes TIME....I'm not making it through a chapter a day any longer. ::wink::

This morning ONE PHRASE lit off the page....  Romans 6:15 opens with a question, "Shall we sin because we are not under the law?" May it never be! (That is not the WHOLE answer. ::snort::) Paul lays out in Rom 6:1- 14 that a life of habitual sin is not consistent with the gospel. In Rm 6:15 - 7:6, he asks about the occasional lapses. To paraphrase....

"My occasional lapses aren't a big deal now that I'm under grace - right? "

Yes, they matter.

Grace is not the enemy of effort or holiness. Grace is the enemy of earning.   Our occasional sin matters because it shows who we have chosen to serve in that snapshot of time....Sin is NOT our master, and sin was not the Roman's master either.

another personal graphic

"But thanks be to God that though you were slaves of sin, you BECAME OBEDIENT FROM THE HEART to that form of teaching to which you were committed, and having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness."
(Rm 6:17-18)

We're freed from sin - now we need to voluntarily enslave ourselves to righteousness. This happens as we are "obedient (to the gospel) from the heart!"

It's not slavishly selling myself to new-improved-list of dos and don'ts....it's about my heart. My heart loves Jesus. My heart is so grateful for all He's done. My heart wants to obey. I obey  and begin to walk as slave to righteousness - rather than sin.

At the core of a lifestyle of personal holiness is a heart passionate to obey!  "Obedient from the heart...," this one phrase is a wonderful description of faith. Faith in Jesus and His teachings (the gospel) will lead to obedience. If we really believe something, we will act according to that belief.

That one word that "slips out?"

That one 'tude we sport in a moment?

That one conversation that is true, but not needed, which we choose to share?

They matter because they illustrate, in that snapshot of time, I didn't really believe Jesus. I chose to enslave my self to sin rather than righteousness. Yes, I will confess my sin and He is so faithful to forgive. BUT I get in these spots through my choices and unbelief.

IF I really believe God can control my tongue, if I really believe I'm to imitate Christ's attitude shown in Philippians 2:3-8, if I really believe gossip and harsh words are sin (Eph 4:29, James 3)....THEN I will OBEY.

IF I really believe God; THEN that belief will spill over into every area of my life.

It must.

It's yeast.

It's our natural makeup is to grow.

Choosing Joy!
©2014 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

Kodomono hi Omedto

I have no clue if I got my Japanese right and the kids are in bed. 

Today is Boys Day or Children's Day in Japan. We had to celebrate - somehow.....we pulled out the Pocky we had splurged on in town. 

Notice Stacia's expression.....she is not impressed....in JA-PAAAAN the Pocky come in separate sticks - NOT in one big block. ::snort:: Of course, by the look of the chocolate these Pocky have been around the world a time or two. 

In any event - it's always fun to have an excuse to celebrate the Gherkins! 

Choosing Joy!
©2014 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

All American Experience

 Michael spoke about the Road to Emmaus and I was challenged. I continue to think about a slow heart and a burning heart....the differences and which I have.

This was Zander's Sunday to pick the restaurant. I knew what it was going to be before he even began to speak. I have avoided this place since last summer. Home Town Buffet.  It's impossible not to overeat there...even for a vegan.

The conversations we overheard at the table next to us were sobering. I am still thinking, praying and sad....and the ankle bracelet on the young girl fresh out of "the hall" left me wanting to shake a few adults at that table.

The perfect way to follow up Home Town Buffet is a trip to Walmart. It was an All-American kind of day. ::snort::

Wondering what we're doing with all the chips. Stephanie C made some of her award-winning salsa. I bought jars and chips and we were ready to raise morale for the staff on Cinco de Mayo....no sweets this month. I may aim for no food at all for June....already collecting and thinking.

Back at home I made a card, packaged up chips and salsa...and let's see....oh yes....

I decided to save $10 and take my gel polish off myself. I've been watching how they did it. I thought I could do it with a bit of help from Arielle.

Note the spacey fingers.....I neglected to realize how hungry I was before we put on the foil.....nuts in the bowl and not chips, BTW.  The polish is off - but my nails are not as smooth as they are at the salon. I'll have to go buy a buffy, scratcher pad....

Another Sunday in the bag.

Choosing Joy!
©2014 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

Jamin's Race

It's been a big weekend! 

Jamin - yep he's ALWAYS been our runner - ran his final Lonestar Conference this weekend. I watch him run and I remember all the times he got away from me at IGA in Hardin.....all the times he escaped the nursery workers and shot up the aisle at Hardin Open Bible.....shoot....he was just reaching for his destiny!  I was looking for photos so I could write about his race and found he'd made the Lonestar Conference Academic team....Congrats son...toot the horn just a bit louder - k? 

 "Gherkin, a security studies major, has led the Rams distance crew in both cross country and track this season. The senior broke the ASU school record for the 10,000-meters earlier this season....and is currently ranked No. 2 in the LSC for the event. Gherkin has now been named to the all-academic team for the LSC twice with one for track and one for cross country. To be eligible for LSC academic honors, student-athletes must carry at least a 3.30 grade point average and have reached sophomore status both athletically and academically."

As the week ended we kept track of how his Achilles tendon was doing.  Not 100% but "feeling good." Um....this made me pray harder. LOL 

Finally, Friday came. I spent the day trying to find a live stream. They didn't stream it this year. Bummer.....but we were all watching for the results and knew very quickly....he had a good race. 

"Jamin 'Gherkin'  finished second in the 10,000-meters with a new career-best and new school record time of 31.32.69 to give the Rams a huge eight points to end day two of the championships!"  He beat the record he set a few weeks back! Handily. Both Jamin (yellow) and the Conference Champ (center) broke stadium records as well. It was a fast race. The rams weren't able to hold on to their lead and came in 2nd. 

COACHES you never know what will happen when you agree to let a homeschooled-never-before-competed- kid walk on and have a trial run....When that homeschooled kid is determined to work and train hard you never know what may happen.  

Congrats, Jamin. We're proud of you. Your dedication will take you places.

Choosing Joy!
©2014 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

Party Animals

Stacia and I had a fun day out and about on Saturday. First, we went to a baby shower. Everything was fantastic.

Then we went to an Elsa Birthday party. I hadn't brought my camera but ended up snapping some with the phone.

Pin the nose on Olaf

Making snowmen

Pretty cute snowmen! 

We had met the B girls on a field trip and it was fun to spend some time getting to know them better. I HAD all their names down - but I've forgotten again, I'm sure.

Stacia enjoyed making Elsa's cape. Isn't this a great idea? Each guest made one and took it home.


Choosing Joy!
©2014 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...

Random Observations From a CRAZY Busy Week!

Walmart- Medium is way, way larger than Romy XL. ::snort::

Stacia observed, "VBS! Five days of absolutely no school!" Do you think I should tell her most families don't school all year?


Gherkins love ice cream...and are willing to spend their allowance on it.

Doing school when tired leads to an interesting historical perspective.  I knew I was struggling to stay awake. I read a line, heard a little giggle, and noticed Nolan was in the room and all LAUGHING.  I was reading Rush Revere and the First Patriots to Zander and Stacia.  I read, "...this person in history used the kite to experiment with torture....." and that caught Nolan's attention as he walked by. He stayed and evidently I continued to read, "He's the mystery man in  history that invented the swimming suit, owned a printing press, and created the Franklin nose."

I came to my senses when Stacia commented, "That's amazing he created the Franklin nose."

"WHAT - you're not paying attention....." and then - they laughed, we laughed.  I took a 30 min nap before the next class.

It's the time of year when park meetings must include sunscreen and ice water.

I did not have this snack. 

Stacia headed out with me to shop. I observed, "You always like to come with me. Why do you like to come with me?"

Are you ready?

"Because you are so much fun!"

She melted my heart and we enjoyed what we titled a "Peoplers Day" instead of a Girls Day since Arielle didn't join us.

Finally, tonight, I observed some members of my family are ruthless when playing Monotony.  After four HOURS of being a good sport, my man child bankrupted me  because I was short $4.  They continued to play another hour.....and in the end he won....but I did find sweet irony when he was calling on me to show grace in a mediation on his behalf.....I was merciful and defended him.

Choosing Joy!
©2014 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...