AllowancesThis is a backwards Works for Me Wed on FRIDAY - because Iwant to ask NOW. LOL
We've done a variety of things.
We've NOT given any allowance because you are part of a family and we work together as a team to accomplish what needs to be done to fullfill the mission of the family.
We've tied allowance specifically into chores. This worked well when the older ones (3 now graduated) were young. I ran my home by my index card box ala Sidetracked Home Executive. Each card had a notation in the corner - .05, .25......we kept track and added up their salary each night. This worked well as the children competed for the BIG jobs. ::snort:: THEN we entered the military and it got overwhelming to have to change cards every 2-3 years. LOL
We've simply given allowance so they learn to use money wisely and not tied it to chores in any way.
We've had systems where you lost money if someone had to do your job.
The thing is that I usually don't remember to pay them. They go for months without seeing their allowance. I also think we may woefully underpay allowances. What do you all give for allowance - and is it weekly or monthly? Of course, when they begin to MAKE their own money (Jared - 13 landscaping last summer, the girls babysitting at 12, the boys working) we quit giving them allowances, at THEIR suggestion.
Shannon over at Rocks In My Dryer blogged this week about how SHE handles allowances. Each child has their own savings account linked to their main account. Weekly she transfers their allowances into their accounts. When she buys something for them they watch as she transfers it from their account back to hers. It's all done online. I think the kids would stand a better chance at receiving their allowance this way. Shannon's gives them 1/2 their age every week. Linda, is this similar to what you do with the check registers? Where did you buy the registers? I'd love to hear your thoughts....I've been trying to remember all we talked about. LOL
What are your children expected to pay for with their allowance - and at what ages? Do they buy books, movies, bowling, church and support group events, clothes, gifts....? OK I know they all tithe and save. I'm wondering beyond that what you expect.
Please respond.
23 comments:
That's easy for me to answer because we can't afford to pay a regular allowance to anyone.
When my kids do extra work, they sometimes get paid, they tithe from it, and depending on the amount, save some of it. Otherwise its theres, though I won't let them buy anything they aren't allowed to have in the first place.
Thrice Blessed
Well....ours haven't had any regular allowance for many years...but I think it will help the younger ones understand things like saving, budgeting etc if they have some. SO.....we're rethinking....we've really not changed amounts since our 23 year old first started getting allowances...and as I said we've not paid it on any schedule for years.....they do the big jobs, because we ask them to do them. LOL
BUT I do want them to begin to have their own budget.....becuase they'll then understand our budget talks. LOL
De'Etta, we've been all across the board with allowances too. What's been working for us the last several years is giving the children an allowance once a month. The amount is not tied to chores.....they are part of a family and as members of a family they are expected to help out. They separate their money--tithing, taxes (family day trips/vacation/activities they want to attend), savings and fast cash. We do expect the teens to pay their way to the movies (they usually have gift cards anyway). They are expected to purchase books they want, clothing and haircuts as well. We don't have a set age that this occurs: we base it on the maturity of each child since they're all so different.
I give a weekly allowance based on age, however I only have one child. I decided to do this after reading Kevin Lehman's book "How to Make Your Child Mind Without Losing Yours." He advises giving an allowance, and then deducting an amount if they fail to do their part in the family. He states that is how it works in the real world, you have to pay people to do your work for you. So far it is working. Usually she does not receive the cash, as she purchases something that week, or leaves it in our account to save for a bigger purchase. Of course, it's easier to keep track of it in our account when you have only one child.
We have never given an allowance, though they regularly ask for them. They live here, they're family, we all work together to maintain our home.
However, we've been discussing trying an allowance, for jobs/chores. The children see us tithe and want to do the same. I like their desire and want to encourage it. They each give their tithe on interest earned from their college savings accounts at year's end. We're not sure what to do beyond that.
CT's 10 now and it seems a good time to start training him in money management/fiscal fitness. All the children understand the basic concepts from the Money Matters for Kids game; give 10%, save 50%, spend 40%. However, we've not given them real money to live it out.
Glad you brought this to your blog.
De'Etta, we also have been all over the board with the allowances.
Bessie does quite a bit of babysitting and works regularly for a woman at church, so we stopped giving her an allowance. She uses her money for extra things, but we still provide the basics.
Gabe gets tickets (your method) for doing his schoolwork well and without complaining and then gets a certain amount of money for each page filled.
The Littles have no clue about money yet, so we haven't done anything with them.
I'll be interested in what others have done.
We decided we would never tie chores to allowances after seeing that go disasterously wrong in another family. We don't tie the purchase of things for the kids to chores either. They get things bought for them when we can afford it because they are kids in our family. {g}
We do give £2-3 per week to each but they are very willing to forgo this when we can't afford it, which is more often that I care to admit.
Money does not seem to motivate them. They are not interested in earning it or spending it atm, though I'm expecting that to change. They aren't that interested in buying 'stuff', which I am quite happy about because there isn't much money to go around in our family.{g}
I guess I haven't given any useful info, have I?
Much food for thought. I may have to write more in the original post.
We also believe the children help out because we are a family. Our children do much more to help out than I observe in 80% of the families I know.
Our children are NOT asking for $, they are NOT wanting to buy a bunch of stuff.
WE want our children to learn by application how to handle their money in a god-honoring way - it seems that it would be good for them to have some to manage - rather than just hearing us talk about it. Then all of a sudden earning a salary with lots of money to manage.
Our oldest son has currently enough in his savings to pay for the next two years of college, have an emergency fund and move out.....so not having a consistent allowance hasn't hurt him.....however.....
there are also attitudes about money seen around here (like it magically appears when you want to go the movies or buy a new swimsuit) that occur if a child never has $ of his/her own.
I suppose we want the children to begin developing a bit more independence in the use of $.....and our 13 yo worked very hard last year and saved every penny of it to be spent for World View Academy..... it was earned and spent...and that was o.k.......but I think there are other lessons we want them to learn - to avoid our own hard lessons with money - that will be helped by them learning at a very young age how to manage their resources, instead of having to rely on us for the $ to go out with friends etc.
In another vein when we WERE regular with allowance reality discipline was much easier.....you break the window, the $ comes out of YOUR account to replace it. ::snort:: Now....it's something like "you have to do these extra chores" which is sort of silly because we ARE a family and we all work to do the "extra" chores whether we break a window or not. We all pitch in with what needs to be done...so to tell the others "you don't have to help becuase X needs to pay for this by doing something he would have been doing anyway" is sort of strange. LOL
Just more thoughts as I process.....we do the ticket redemption thing for the little ones who have no concept of $ anyway....but I want them to begin to have a concept of savings, spending, giving....and I want to encourage them with the resources to give.
While we certainly don't believe that each family SHOULD or MUST give an allowance of any sort...if we are led that way we'd like to hear what others have done - what worked and what didn't work.
This is not a slam against what others do with their families....it is also not a slam on our older children....but we think that we should have spent a bit more time making sure all firmly understood money matters before moving out of our home. The girls were able to go through FPU/Dave Ramsey so they're covered......but we are in the position to see what may have been missing lessons for older ones and fix it in younger ones. LOL It's the real blessing of having a younger set and an older set. LOL We see what we did well and we see where we wish we had done better and we have the chance to do it better a second time around. ::snort:: I could write another whole post on THOSE lessons we've changed due to comments from the older ones. LOL
Michelle - I love your definition of taxes. ::snort::
Anon - we did the same after reading Leman back in the dark ages....I think our oldest was 7 or 8....but then we quit regular allowances for quite a bit of time....maybe a decade here.....it's been a long time. LOL
Darshia - YES the heart desire to GIVE...that is a biggy around here.....I suppose it hit home yesterday because I watched a child spend HIS birthday money to buy his sister a present...because he didn't want MY money to buy it for his sister.....and I realized he had NO money of his own because we haven't done allowances at all. He wants to give and we could do better at cultivating that attitude....Then I realized this is quite common around here.
We do give £2-3 per week to each but they are very willing to forgo this when we can't afford it, which is more often that I care to admit.
*****
Dorothy this is the boat we've been in I think. The kids never complain and have sweet spirits about it - but *I* want them to have the means to learn to give to God others, do fun things, save for their future...and not be totally dependent on us to save their $ for them, or give them $ for their fun etc.
We have done allowances for several years. Their allowances are supposed to go for anything extra that we do not provide. For example, we feed and clothe them and treat them to a meal out or a trip to the ice cream shop occasionally. If they want extra clothes, toys, video games or other things our budget does not allow for, then they have to fund it.
DS 11 and DS 7 must save their money for the extras, and it works out well for us. I never have to feel bad for telling them no, because I can't afford to buy them something they want. They have learned they must save money for those things and that not everything is a "must have" when they are paying for it. I have been really impressed at how they have matured in their choices.
For example, last night they wanted to go to a pizza and games place. We told them that they would have to pay their way and buy their own games tickets. They treated the whole family to pizza...typical for our generous DS 7, but not so typical for our ds 11. Dad & I were impressed and the boys were so happy to treat the littles to a night out. They even made sure every child came home with a prize from their winnings.
Allowances have provided us with the opportunity to teach responsibility and the bonus of watching generosity grow in our children.
BTW..for extras the littles may want we do set aside a little each pay period for them. When it builds up and does not get used, we put it in their savings accounts. We sometimes let them shop when their big brothers get to go shopping. DD 2 recently wanted a scooter, so we were able to let her get one with her own money.
-Shelly in TX
Ugh! Blogger ate my comment.
I'll just make it again but shorter.LOL
We do allowances. I take the money out every two weeks as soon as Eric gets paid. They get paid a salary of $20.00 each, every two weeks. I take the money out when I go grocery shopping so I can't forget.
They need to tithe with this and also pay for anything extra including birthdays and holidays.
Jon will save his money and buy nice things with it. Allison will spend it the minute she gets it.lol
They have chores that they are assigned and they have to help with the littles. Since we consider the money they get as a salary, they are just responsible for whatever they are given as tasks for that day. They can be fired for doing a bad job though. If that happens, they work without the benefit of receiving pay until we feel that they can be dependable and hardworking.
As of next pay period, Allison will no longer be working for us. Since she has an outside job, she'll be earning her money that way.
HTH!
This is a GREAT topic...and one that my older two kids have been bringing up repeatedly lately.
Like many other responses, we have been all over on this suject.
While I would LOVE to be giving my children an allowance, there is only so much space in my head right now to handle things, and paying the children is NOT a high priority. We also work on the idea that we are all members of this family, and we will ALL contribute to the house.
Our oldest is trying to go on a missions trip this summer and finding ways to earn money is challenging. There was a summer that she was paid to babysit her siblings all summer, as I was working nights and sleeping during the day...but we cannot afford to do that all the time.
I would like to hear what you come up with, and how you organize it, because I want to implement SOMETHING again soon, because they all need to learn about handling their own money.
What age exactly is defined as little? My children are all littles (I think), but they all want money to buy things- usually things to give to others. Only the oldest two are old enough to recognize that when I give them money it's really not their money. I want to enourage their generosity (especially Micaela's as this seems to be true gift), but their giving is not always appropriate. Anyway- at what age is learning to manage an allowance worth the effort? When I read this I think you're more referring to Nolan and not Zander- just curious?
Becky....I'm thinking Nolan is certainly old enough at 9 to have an allowance.....
We're debating on Zander. At this point he has all he can to earn 30 tickets and get to play Play Station once a month. ::snort::
If we gave him any $ it would probably be the 1/2 your age thing so $3 a week.....and maybe that would be a good start.
Stacia is certainly too young at this point. LOL
Does that help?
Thanks all for your responses.
I'll be no help since we too have been all over the place on this. At one point we had $5 each going directly into each childs account. Other times we have done half their age weekly or monthly depending on our own finances. We haven't done any allowance in over a year which they didn't notice for awhile and now they remind us. LOL
When we did allowances it was only expected that they would use the money for extras and fun stuff.
We will soon have home repairs and wood to cut for winter and other bigger jobs. DH has said if anyone helps with BIG jobs they'll get paid. Now my youngest goes around telling people he'll be taking a job very soon. He's very small and this gives people pause that he is so serious about his job. It's pretty funny to hear him say.
When they do have allowances or birthday money my oldest always saves it all or spends a litle carefully. My younger three spend it right away (too fast!) and usually buy each other something too, which is nice.
All this to say I think allowances can be a good idea to teach money skills but we've never had one tried and true system here.
Our kids are given allowance to learn to manage money. They are given $1 per week per grade in school (up to 10th grade). So a third grader gets $3 per week.
They are required to buy bday & Christmas gifts for family members, Scout dues, extra activities (like youth group trips that are recreational only - such as amusement parks), etc.... I pay them monthly based on how many Sundays there are that month. Some money is given to them in cash and some is transferred to their bank accounts (each has one with USAA) - they request the amount given in cash. Sometimes they are denied the amount requested that month.
We were all over the board on allowances. Sometimes we were in country and they got a dollar per year of age. Sometimes we were overseas and we simply gave"allowance" when we traveled. They had few places to spend money at.
Their basic needs were fulfilled. When my dd started working- her allowance days ended (highschool). My ds never really worked a job- he ran in the summers and did massive homework during the school year. His allowance continued (even coving prom and dinners)- our pay off was West Point:>)
What we did do was continually include them in on family money envelope system as soon as they were in high school. It must have gone well. Our 24yr old dd is married to an E4- SAHM- and saving to buy their next car with cash. Our ds is a LT and saving for his first house. They have envelopes in their households and still do fun things with off time. Neither own credit cards used for anything except travel and internet (you know- no one takes a cash deposit)
I think seeing how a family system works gives the best example of investing, tithing, saving and spending seemed to be the key for us.
My family always had allowances. Five of us at 50 ish- the one who spent all of hers as a child is the millionaire. The one who saved all of his is the person in debt....I had to read books to learn how to spend money- lol
YOu already know that we don't do an "allowance" for many of the same reasons you didn't at one point anyway.... 1. We are a family and EVERYONE has to pitch in to make things work. 2. I would forget and I never have any cash (LOL).
Now, that being said we do pay the kids for some "jobs" above and beyond the normal (everyday) care and upkeep of a home.... things like painting the house, digging up the asphalt in the driveway, etc...
Yes, this is similar, DeEtta. Sorry to be so late answering. I've not been reading blogs since gone to the HS convention then Memorial Day. Anyway, our system is a combination of suggestions from Julie (I can't remember last names - you know - the Living Math guru on SHS in CA) and then incorporated into the P.E.G.S. system. The kids all get allowances. It is age-based and activity-based. They pay for everything except clothes. (I need to give Landon a bigger allowance and make him start doing this although he says he won't buy any clothes. LOL!) They pay for hs bowling, anything they want outside of a bday or Christmas gift. We pay for movies (we go out to one maybe once a year) and eating out (which we have to do twice a week because of traveling so far to church). Anyway, here are the allowances per month:
Landon $30, Gerren $28, Chase $22. These go into 3 places: Tithe, Savings, Spending. Tithes and Savings I have to have actual cash for as they put their tithes in an envelope at church and I put their money in savings. I do think I've got them all set up online now, so I should probably do the transferring from my account online. The spending is what I use the checkbook register for, and it's pretty much a paper-only thing. I bought a pack of 10 registers on ebay for a pittance and I write down their allowance deposits once a month. Anything they "buy" in the store (which I actually pay for), they record in their checkbook registers. I figure this is good practice for them. I do put $60 a month into my savings account for this in case anyone wants to make a big purchase or put a big sum into their savings and needs actual cash. The $2 purchases at Wal-Mart aren't a problem, but those types of things would be. I gave them some discretion as to how much they wanted to tithe and save (requiring a basic 10% and allowing them to do more if they chose). I do tie it to the chore part of the PEGS system. Three undone chores = a management fee. The management fees are based on the allowance. Landon $0.55, Gerren $0.50 and Chase $0.40. Every evening or the next morning, I mark down everything from the PEG board (chores and behavior stuff) on a chart. I started by using one that was in the PEGS book but ended up adapting it so that it worked better for us. We only record management fees in their checkbooks once a week. At the end of the week I add them all up and them they deduct management fees accordingly. So, if Gerren had 9 marks off on his chores, he would record a withdrawal of $1.50 in management fees. Also, if he had 10 or 11 marks, it would be the same. He wouldn't get another management fee until he hit 12 chore marks. HTH!
I appreciate everyone sharing their thoughts...still contemplating, discussing and praying.
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