WARNING: DEPLOYED SPOUSE ZONE

I'm not sure what I'm going to write tonight. It was a good day. Really it was. However, there were some decidedly hard edges to the day that tend to overshadow the good. Do I ignore the hard and focus only on the good? Maybe. I've really processed through it by now. I Thess 5:18 says, "In everything give thanks for this is the will of God....." Hmmm...dovetails nicely with James 1:2 - "Consider it all joy...." and so I have...and yet.....

I love my alphabet soup child. I often think to myself that labels are useless....that we all have our quirks and I simply need to teach my child how to live with his quirks. I believe that. In a sense having vague labels helps because they can help someone with different quirks (i.e. me) understand your quirks. OK....so I can go along for weeks on end thinking "We've got it covered...not a problem...those labels were all mistaken" and then I hit a wall. Honestly, it happens most at chapel, which makes me want to stay home....and yet...I know it is because that is the situation where my child is most surrounded by a different routine, different authority figures, and those who don't understand his quirks.....but I have to train him to function.....Today my dear child was appallingly rude to an adult. Out and out defiant. I was shocked. None of the others would have acted like he did. He apologized. I realized that I need to do more work with him in this area. I've not noticed him being incredibly disrespectful to adults in general, but he was today. We talked some more this afternoon. He understands that he simply can't act like this. I called the lady he was rude to and let her know that I'm sorry he was out of control, and that I'm dealing with him. She was gracious.

I wanted to ask God this afternoon, "Why"? Then I realized that I have a dear and charming son, really he is. He IS a gift. He IS a blessing. I know that God is going to use him mightily. I know that there are things in my life that need to change and that this little one is God's tailor made gift and tool in my life. I also know that God felt that I was capable of training and mothering this little one. I didn't ask why...I quoted the aforementioned verses. I determined to stay focused. I determined to learn more about his quirks, labels if you will, not so that I can excuse his bad behavior but so that I can better reach him and train him. I wish so badly that others could see the glimmers that I see in this little jewel...but I fear it may be a while before the "general public" can truly appreciate this one.

At bedtime he came to me and said, "Mom, do you forgive me?" I assured him I did. He replied, "And I forgive you, Mom". This is hopeful...if he was concerned about forgiveness, he's not TOTALLY defiant. I believe God is going to reach this little one's heart and he is going to be a blessing to many. I believe. I will see this.