Back to Alaska & the Ugliest Tree in the State

We needed to get back to Alaska. When it came time to leave, both Michael and I wished we'd scheduled a couple of more days in Oregon....but we had pressing things to do at home as well.

Dakota had tickets to visit and was in AK - we wanted to see him before he returned to Oregon.

Michael had a neurology appointment which I needed to attend.

Michael had started a new therapy for swallowing and was not supposed to miss sessions.

We wanted to be home for Christmas, our first Christmas with the older Gherkins nearby and in our new home.

And so, Nate and Heather took us to the airport. I didn't expect it to be so hard to watch Dad walking out of the airport. My heart continues to grieve for all he has lost.

But we turned towards Alaska - home. 

I was so glad we'd had the forethought to pack our coats where they were easy to reach. It was 17* F when we landed....and we had a bit of a walk to our car in the long-term parking. We were cold. Jamin and Josiah met us at the airport and took our extra luggage. We just couldn't fit in the Jeep with luggage.

We got home and discovered our quirky, Dr. Seuss tree, had become a true Charlie Brown tree.

We aren't giving up. We want to be able to plant trees in our yard and harvest a tree each year....but if THIS happens next year, we will buy artificial on the after Christmas clearance sale. LOL

Memories from Mom's Service

I knew from burying Mom G in February 2017, that I would feel unprepared for the day to arrive, but that it would bring a sense of completion to the season. Before we knew it, it was the 22nd and we were getting ready to head to the church.  I think Nate is sporting a winning combination!

I can't enough times how wonderful it was to see Nate and Heather. Another friend I was able to reconnect with at the hospital and at Mom's service was Becky. We've been friends since we were 2 year old and neighbors. She came from a nearby town and it was priceless to have her both at the hospital and at the service. Her mom is in a couple of pictures I've posted - Moms friend of more than 50 years.

Mom's service was wonderful. She wanted worship - and we had it. She wanted a few hymns sung and they were.  Joneile, a dear friend, sang "Thank you for giving to the Lord," while a slide show played of Mom's life. Many of those photos are in the blog post of Mom's Life Story.  Here is  the link to the stream of Mom's service.  I'm not sure how long it will be there.  It was amazing to see so many people who we have known through the years. Dad has an amazing support system in the area. He and Mom are well-loved.  Will had suggested we open the mic for memories at the ICE CREAM reception, rather than the service. I think that worked well. Folks who wouldn't have talked at the service were comfortable at the reception and those who needed to leave, were free to do so. 

As wonderful as it all was, I was drained and ready to go home and cocoon - though cocooning is not exactly what happened. 

Mom's Life Story

Janice was born in Hardin, MT on Feb 10, 1941. She joined two brothers Bill and Jim - 9 and 17 years older than she. 

Mom, Bill (L), Jim (R)

Hardin, MT is directly outside the Crow Indian reservation. Growing up in a diverse culture played a part in awakening her heart to the needs of other cultures.  Across the street from her home was Dick's Drive-In - which featured a walk up window which served ice cream. Her mom would save the spare change and allow Janice to walk across the street for a daily treat. Thus began  mom's life-long craving for ice cream and other sweets. 

Her father died when she was 16, a heartache mom carried all her life. It also contributed to her certainty of the importance of investing in family. A heart for the nations, an insatiable sweet tooth and a love of family were to characterize Mom throughout her life.  

 

Mabel (Grams), Mom, Sim (Grandpa)

1944 - Hardin, MT

 From an early age Janice was "spunky."  Part of her early years were spent living in a hospital  where her mother, Mabel Simmons, served as hospital manager and head nurse. Mabel loved to tell a story of Mom at 3 years old. They heard clomping down the stairs. Mom entered the room, put her hands on her hips, and declared, "When you hear me coming down those stairs, I want my breakfast on the table!"

Gram's replied, "You don't say? Who says this?"

To which mom replied, "I AM!" As you can imagine, this exchange did not end quite the way Mom had intended. 

Mom eventually grew up and headed to Eugene, OR where she attended Eugene Bible College and met and married, Dad, Paul Townsend. The rumors "we" hear is they were known for pulling pranks in those years. They made life-long friends during this season in their life, many are here today, and we thank you for the parts you've played in Mom's life and in our family's history. One man, Walt Olinger was driving a car one night in 1961 while Mom and Dad rode in the back. Dad mustered up his courage to propose to Mom. She didn't answer... He asked again; she sort of mumbled and WOKE UP! Yes, she'd fallen asleep during her marriage proposal - or maybe she just wanted a couple of proposals.  Friends like these were treasured by Mom throughout her life.

Nov 17, 1962

 

In front of the barn where they had their first date - 2012

 Mom and Dad along with De'Etta and Will served as Open Bible Missionaries in Liberia, West

1968 - family photo 

Africa. The family lived on a compound that included a clinic, school, church, several mission houses and dormitories for students who came to the compound to be educated. Their water supply was collected in barrels, the electricity was supplied by generators, and motorcycles and small airplanes provided their transportation. They had monkeys and raccoons for pets and traveled in canoes on rivers said to be populated by crocodiles. There were also snakes - lots of snakes.  Mom hated snakes. Part of Dad's ministry required him to make overnight trips into the wilderness of Liberia. On one such evening, when mom and the kids, were alone the night erupted with gunshot. Boys and men came running from all corners of the compound to check on us fearing what they'd find. They found mom standing on a chair. She had unloaded 6 rounds of buckshot into an unsuspecting 2 1/2 foot snake. The boys from the dormitory were disgusted she wasted so much shot on such a "small snake."

Cess River, Liberia, West Africa

 After an interval in the states, Mom and Dad moved to the Philippine Islands where they again served as missionaries. They spent the next  22 years ministering in the barrios and jungles of the Philippines."Ma'am Jan "taught Bible college classes, INSTE and Bible studies during these years.  By this time, Nate had joined the family.  They continued to have unique pets. It was during this time Mom, unknowingly, first sampled ground hog, dog and monkey. She was not impressed. She loved to snorkel in the ocean and collected some impressive shells. She continued to love riding her motorcycle around the barrios.

Teaching in Mindanao, Phillippines

 

Pastors, Dad, Mom and Nate on a trip

 At the end of their missionary career, Mom and Dad settled in Springfield here at Calvary Open Bible. Mom worked as a one-on-one aide at Springfield High School and loved all the kids she met. She was known at the Coffee shop for her love of hot chocolate - with LOTS OF WHIP CREAM. On days when Sherri wasn't in the area, she'd even get refills.

We have many ice cream stories about mom.  All the grandkids remember Grandma's order of two medium vanilla - cherry dipped cones with extra dip on the side from any given Dairy Queen. She explained, "You get more dip with two mediums than with one large." A routine meal included a THICK malt, fries and an ice cream cone. In recent years, Mom was not supposed to drive and was supposed to limit her sugar intake. Her granddaughter, Bre, was out with her family and was surprised to find GRANDMA at Dicky Yo's...with a big dish of ice cream...alone.

"Don't tell your Grandpa or Lorri!"

We didn't tell Grandpa - until we were sharing stories after Mom passed away.

 Mom loved her church family and treasured the friends she had here. Many of them were friends dating from the 1960's.  (Kathy - Mom's friend from college, and Bev - Mom's neighbor after college in 1965, were second mom's to me). 

Mom and Dad on far left, Kathy playing accordian

Mom & Bev at Bre's bridal shower

Mom realized she was "getting close" to aging around 70 and compiled a bucket list. Michael had recently been deployed to the middle east and sent home photos of himself riding on a camel. She decided she HAD TO ride a camel.  Opportunity presented itself when the 49'ers group from Calvary scheduled a trip to the Wildlife Safari. Mom promoted camel rides for our younger kids. As we waited in line, she said, "I'm going to ride a camel today, too." 

 She would not be dissuaded. She tried to talk De'Etta into getting on the camel with her as the operators were allowing two on a camel. 

        

Also on Mom's bucket list was riding a zip line and sky diving. Mom asked Dad if he would go sky diving with her. He said, "No! Why would I want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane!" Somehow she convinced John Simmons to jump out of a "perfectly good" airplane with her when she was 71 years old. The funny thing is that she took a selfie of herself in front of the building and texted it to her grandsons. The next one they got was a photo of her in the sky with her hair flying...

   Maybe God set up a zip line for her near her mansion in heaven.

Mom loved family. It was a driving passion in her life to have the entire family over, sitting at one table, with fine china and a big meal. This didn't happen nearly often enough for her liking. The last time we all had dinner at her home, the one table morphed into four...I'm sure Mom has already begun planning the big dinner she is going to have one day in heaven with all her family around one very big table.

Entire family (at that date) at Mom and Dad's 50th Wedding Celebration 

 Mom loved CHRISTMAS! Boxes of nativities line her garage wall.  It's fitting  she would finish her race and enter heaven at Christmas time.

Her legacy is her love for others and her willingness to share Jesus and to give to others.  Even at the end of her days while her pain levels were beyond excruciating, her heart's desire was to be a good witness in order that others might know Jesus. She will be greatly missed by family and friends.  

Note: This was read at Mom's memorial service. If you missed the service and would like to view it, it will be archived here for another week or so.  Click "Memorial Service for Jan." 

The Week Between

The time between Mom's death and the service was filled with the typical "business of dying" stuff that one must take care of....so we did.

Michael and the kids arrived on the 16th of December. Stacia gets the frequent flyer award for the month.

Nate (my brother) and Heather arrived on the 17th of December.  We missed seeing them last summer, maybe it's been two summers, so it was wonderful to catch up.

Amy arrived on the 20th of December (I think).

Mostly, we spent the time catching our breath, processing what we'd been through, and being with each other.

One day Mikhail (Nate & Heather's son), Nate and our crew went to see Star Wars. I liked it, though I know others didn't. Check out this car in the parking lot....look at all the spines and such attached to it.....

If I could take a couple of suitcases from Hobby Lobby back to Alaska, I'd sell it all within hours. I love this store. Michael wonders if this would be a lure big enough to catch the big ones in Nancy Lake.....

We were all concerned for dad. Losing a partner of 55 years is tough! Over the past few years, we've gotten into the habit of playing Farkle when we are at Mom and Dad's. Lorri introduced us to the game. We missed mom, but it was good to play.

Michael, Nolan, Alex, Dad, Lorri (Cousin)

In little ways the week together passed. It was a good time. We received several offers for lodging. The thing is, I wanted to stay with Dad. I knew it was most likely my last time to stay at the house. I wanted to be near Dad. That's it.

Bits and Pieces in Prep for Traveling

Pictures from home - the boys are continuing with the Advent Scavenger hunts. This one took them to the garage.....

Two for this night - I want to see if Bubbles will freeze and I think the DVD is one on AK history. 

This night is special as they are packing to come to Oregon!  It will be nice to have the five of us together. Even Benny wants to come.....three weeks old and he's ready to travel! That's my boy!

Lessons From Mom or Mom Simply Stopped Breathing

Stacia flew out for Anchorage early on the 12th. Alaska Airlines was amazing! They arranged for her to be escorted, fly at better times and it only cost me $60. They gave me a complete refund on my ticket, so that I could book my return flight whenever it was time for me to fly home.

The afternoon of December 12th, with family around her bed....mom simply stopped breathing. Those in the room began to leave and Will and I were at the hospital, talking to funeral homes and care teams about what to do next.

I sat beside mom and reflected on all she'd been through which brought her to this point. Several from the church came to visit and didn't know she had passed away. The support of the church is amazing.

We texted family who wasn't here. I called Michael and they were on their way home from the airport after picking up Stacia. We began to get texts and phone messages...."I went to Dairy Queen and remembered Grandma."

"We stopped at DQ and had ice cream in Grandma's memory."

And us in Oregon....we went to Sharis and had THICK chocolate shakes with fries - in mom's memory....One of the shared memories Mom and I found funny had to do with her love of fries and ice cream. She was visiting us in CA. I had taken all out to eat, the kids ordered, Dad ordered, Mom went to order.....She asked for fries and "an extra thick chocolate shake."

Without thinking, I exclaimed, "No, you can't have ice cream with lunch!"

She was flabbergasted, "What? Did you just say I can't have ice cream?"

"Yes, I did. If you have it all the kids will want it, and I'm paying so no ice cream."

She found it hilarious and brought it up often - even texting one of the grandsons to say, "Do you know what Aunt De'Etta just did?"

It was funny in Virginia, Alaska, and Oregon we were all tied together, doing the same thing, for the same reason.

Here I am - the last post about this season in our life.

What lessons did I learn? 

There's the advance directive thing, and a new understanding of Ps 116. 

It was confirmed for me death is sacred and holy - closer than we often think. It seems there is just a curtain between us and heaven, and when it's time, God simply pulls the curtain aside and we step over.

Many, MANY, emailed, called and said Mom was one of the few that "loved me just as I was." I want to live my life as one who loves others, out in the open, just as they are.

The outpouring of love was amazing. I honestly, don't believe Mom realized how much she was loved. I want to deal with my past hurts, so I can fully accept the love others give me.

In the end, eating too much sugar, really didn't matter! I will continue to pursue good health and follow the eating plan laid out by my doctor, but I am hyper aware when it is time - it is simply time.

Mom was a charger. Always. She went full bore into the things to which she committed.  It seems to me this is good. I know she felt there were things she left undone - but if she hadn't been a charger there would have been more.

On the other hand, Mom was not afraid of solitude and NOT doing everything that was expected of her. I will prayerfully consider where I choose to invest my time.

A heart to share Jesus is good - and He will find a way to honor our heart even when we can't vocalize the Roman road.

Family is important. Treasure each moment with them - but learn to hold them with open hands.

Keep pursuing new experiences and new activities. We'll grow old if we stop playing.

Sometimes a girl needs a thick chocolate milk shake - and that's o.k.

There are many more, but these are the ones which come readily to mind. I find, as I process the "What If's," I continue to learn from Mom's life.

I'm relieved to be done blogging about this season in our lives.  For now.

Mom's Obituary

         

      Janice M. Townsend, born in Hardin, MT on February 10, 1941,  went home to be with the Savior she knew and loved well, on December 12, 2017. We thank the medical team of the River Bend Comfort Care wing for the excellent care she received.

                Following Jesus led Janice to Eugene Bible College, where she met her life-long love, H. Paul Townsend. They were married on November 17, 1962.  Together, they served as missionaries in Liberia, West Africa for 3 years and the Philippine Islands for 22 years, before settling in Springfield.

                She loved Jesus, friends, Christmas and family. She collected nativities, tea cups, china and elephant figurines. Janice is truly home for Christmas this year.

                Janice is survived by her husband, H. Paul Townsend; her children: De'Etta (Michael), Will (Sherri) and Nate (Heather); 14 grandchildren: BreAnne (Izaak), Krista, Josiah, Jamin, Jared (Larissa), Arielle (Cory), Nolan, Alex, Stacia, Matt (Lily), Andrew, Amy, Mikhail and Nadia; and 4 great grandchildren: Harmony, Bella, Gideon and Bennett and several nieces and nephews.

                A service will be conducted at Calvary Open Bible Church on December 22nd  at 4 p.m. and will be live-streamed under the media button at calvaryopenbible.org.