"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." Elizabeth Stone
The above quote has been one of my favorites for years. Two weeks ago it became even dearer. Two big pieces of my heart left home and now reside in WA. For years I had joked about “never having an empty nest” and “never being lonely”. I quickly changed my perspective. We knew that family life would change when the girls left home. We were unprepared for how quickly and how completely life changed. We miss them dearly. A day doesn’t go by that someone doesn’t ask if they’ve called or emailed one of us. However, we are so very proud of BreAnne and Krista. Our pain is actually a testament, a measure of success. Years ago God led us to homeschool as a family lifestyle. This was not out of fear, political motivation or social motivation. It was a response to God’s prompting. It was out of faith in a vision He had given us for family. We saw parts of this vision before our first child was even conceived. Now, 20 years later, we see more of the vision. Our daughters LOVE the Lord with their entire heart, soul, mind and strength. They are seeking God on a daily basis and we are confident that their future paths will become clear to them. They have the confidence and heart to follow hard after Him.
The girls are spending this year at Master’s Commission where. Their days are divided between academics in the morning and hands on ministry and service in the afternoon/evening. In the past this group has done mission trips, youth work, evangelism, camps, VBSs, trips to Alaska (wouldn’t that be fun???
The girls have become adept at running a household, raising children, entertaining church groups and much, much more. They’ve made our family life a joy. I’ve had to totally rethink how much time I can afford to spend outside the home and how much entertaining I can do INSIDE the home since they’ve left. They did all this with willing hearts and big smiles. An example of their hearing from the Lord and serving with thankful hearts is our recent family experience. We talked about them moving to WA when we left Alaska so that they could get established. They prayed and felt that they were to move with us to be a “help to mom”. We discussed and agreed…but I must admit I had questions about the necessity of them moving to help *me*. It turned out to be a move in the 3rd tri-mester of a pregnancy. They unpacked the house, helped entertain children when I was put on bed-rest, walked a colicky baby when my blood pressure went crazy after delivery…they were indispensable. All this done with a heart of joy.
The following excerpt that I wrote about “fingerprints” for a PWOC newsletter clearly describes our daughters. “As often happens God uses every day things to gain my attention. You see my life is a clean surface when I come to believe in Him as my Savior. When I fully submit my life to His. If God is coming into contact with me - there should be fingerprints. Unique fingerprints. Fingerprints that will never deny the identity of my Lord. Fingerprints that should become so apparent that the vision of "me" is obscured by His fingerprints. In fact many things can leave fingerprints in my life. The prints will be determined by what I am in contact with. There is no faking it. Maybe I'm not the best one to view the fingerprints in my life. Maybe I need to ask others whose imprint they see on my life. “
I clearly see the fingerprints of God on the lives of our daughters. Bre sang a song by Avalon at her graduation that is the heart cry of both our daughters: “Everything to Me”. I rejoice in seeing that He truly is becoming more and more their everything.
I am so thankful that we have no huge regrets when looking back at their upbringing. This does NOT mean that we were perfect – far from it. God covered us in His grace and mercy. It does mean that I don’t regret making the children my priority; my mission. The past weeks have sharpened my focus once again.
Somewhere along the way the girls went from being children, to being young adults. They transitioned from being my daughters to also being my “forever friends”. For those just entering the “teen” years, may I encourage you that they can be the best of the child raising years? We love you girls!
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Some have asked us “how we got” such good “teenagers”. I always hesitate to answer such questions. Much of it is due to their heart relationship with God. However, He has impressed a few basic things on us in our parenting of “young adults”. First, continue to be consistent and second, they still need you. As for books that have influenced our mentoring of the young adults entrusted to our care:
*The Bible* – truly all answers to life can be found in its pages and it is the only book I’ve ever trusted or tried to apply completely.
*Myth of a Teenager* - great article that we discovered over 14 years ago. This greatly shaped our philosophy of parenting. The first link is the complete article. The second link is a transcript of an Elisabeth Elliot program where she discusses this article.
http://www.home-school.com/Articles/PlattTeenagers.html
http://www.backtothebible.org/gateway/today/639
*Age of Opportunity* by Paul David Tripp. Paul calls us to examine our own hearts and then clearly spells out how to make these years COUNT.
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