Chapter Four - The Grace of Forgiveness in Action This chapter is excellent. I should copy the entire thing here, but I'll refrain. {g}
"Beyond that, though, I have learned that maturity in Christ is not instantaneous but a slow process. Even as a real human being starts off as a baby and matures towards adulthood, making mistakes and learning along the way, so Christian believers - including my children - start out immature and move gradually toward maturity. It is gracious forgiveness that enables us all to move past our mistakes and keep on growing . Even more important, it is forgiving grace that makes real love possible in our lives." p 53.
"Our children need the same kind (as Jesus displayed with sinners) of gentle graciousness from us if they are to learn to share their vulnerability, to confess their own sin, and to be free to love. If they fear our strong condemnation and possible rejection, they will hide their sin, perhaps even deceive themselves about the nature of it. They will definitely not avail themselves of our mature direction in their lives." p55. (emphasis mine)
"I believe we must strive to model that kind of gracious, forgiving love to our children. Of course we must instruct them in righteousness so they will understand the law of righteousness that is written in their hearts (Romans 1;18-19). We must teach them what sin is, and we must discipline them appropriately when they knowingly stray. Yet we must also show them, as Christ did for his disciples, what it means to be able to go tot he throne of God to receive forgiveness, the cleansing of our hearts, and God's unconditional love. And we must do this not only by talking about God's love (and being honest about our own need for forgiveness), but by making sure our children experience unconditional love and acceptance from us. " p. 55 (emphasis mine)
Next week we begin the Gift of Inspiration.
3 comments:
I had a hard time with this chapter. Maybe because the chapter was an unbalanced view of forgiveness? I understand what she is telling me, I guess I feel that the chapter was too sugary sweet?LOL I guess I feel that if I were to do this in my home, I would have happy little sinners who would have no problem confessing what they have or have not done but would not be compelled to change. My kids DO come to me when they've done wrong, they know that I'm fair and won't lash out in anger BUT they also know that there will be consequences to their actions. I guess that's my point.LOL
Lisa - I think the key is balance...and walking through consequences can be done in a gracious and mericul manner. KWIM? That's what I took from it.
Yes, there have been a few points in the book where I've thought "is THAT REALLY the exact words of your child" or such....some parts are sugary. LOL
I love that finding that balance is a Holy Spirit thing - it forces me to walk daily in the spirit in order to know how to respond to sins/offenses/misbehaving.....
The couple of things that stand out in my notes are
1) guide my children to the throne of God by modelling Christ to them, as imperfect as my modelling is and
2) Jesus never imposed great guilt on anyone to make them hesitate to sin again. Yet He always called His disciples and followers to the highest standards. He maintained this same attitude of gentle and gracious forgiveness even as He was on the cross. Children need this same gentle graciousness so they learn to share their vulnerability, to confess their own sin, and to be free to love.
Oh, coming from a long line of guilt-invokers, this really spoke to me. I confess that there are many times that I have tried to shame my children my children into not sinning again. I am working on being a gracious forgiver at the same time that I am asking forgiveness myself.
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