Sunday, August 21, 2011

Lessons in a Storm or Where HAS De'Etta Been?

Blog readers know my motto is to embrace life in the fish bowl.....mainly because I was raised in the fish bowl...being a pastor's kid and a missionary kid....and then married into the fish seems healthy to embrace it.

However, in the past few weeks I hit a spot where it seems unwise to be totally transparent.

Life has been tough...the Lover of my soul has met me IN THE STORM. Life has had a few unexpected twists and turns in the past few weeks. Enough said....but I CAN share

Lessons I've learned....

God faithfully prepared me with journal entries from the months prior
  • "God will allow all to be shaken in my life so that which remains is stronger. His kingdom cannot be shaken. In times of shaking I'm to serve with gratitude." 
  • Or: "Lord, help me be quick to look for you in unexpected storms." 
  • Or: "My sheep know my voice and a strange voice they simply will not follow. Father, may I listen for and follow your voice alone."
I have felt these lyrics in  new ways the past few weeks.

Here before Your altar
I am letting go
of every motive, every burden , everything's that of myself
I just wanna wait on your my God
I just wanna dwell on who You are
Here in your presence
I am not afraid of brokenness
To wash your feet with humble tears 
I would be poured out till nothings left

It's possible to forgive instantly and walk in  forgiveness. Walking in forgiveness keeps channels open for God to work in hearts all around.

Leaders make decisions, fail, make mistakes and learn from them. 

I am NOT a perfect leader (knew that ::snort::), neither am I a perfect failure (need to remember this). I hear over and over the words God clearly spoke to me in moment of near panic over leadership responsibility, "I don't call you to be perfect, I call you to be faithful." That was good 2 years ago and it's good today. 

My words at WILD ring in my spirit, "Follow the heart of your king!"

I learned that I still want to be practically perfect. When all broke loose I was "weathering well" until Kari Jobe "My Beloved" came on. I was gasping and sobbing so hard I had to pull over at the train park (and don't think THAT wasn't shocking to kind folks in the park).

You're My Beloved
You're My Bride
To sing over you is My delight
Come away with Me my love...

I was gasping out, "No. I've failed AGAIN."  His words were sweet.... it's precisely in times when I feel least deserving I most need to embrace intimacy with Him. 

Again I heard  "let Me lead,"  "keep your gaze focused on Me," "dance with Me." 

Now is the time to STAND and FIGHT for the vision He birthed  years ago....

God  waits for us to say, "It's all YOU God or this is not working!" and He steps in and shows His stuff. I'm in awe.

NEVER say you will "never" do anything in ministry...there just is no telling where that sort of silliness will take you.  ::grin:: 

Finally, if God is sovereign...He is! That's it. Nothing more. This includes His hand in Air Force assignments, personality conflicts, leadership issues, health, natural disasters....He is sovereign.

New one introduced to me by a dear Sister/mentor

Choosing Joy!
©2011 D.R.G.
~Coram Deo~
Living all of life before the face of God...


Renee said...

{{{De'Etta}}} It is hard to go through tough times in a small military community probably more so as chaplain's wife.... feel free to vent privately if you ever want to

Kristine said...

Praying for you.