Thursday, August 17, 2023

All By Myself?

A flurry of last-minute comments and activity and the girls were out the door for their first day of in person college. I forgot to take a picture. I teased them about first day photos with the white board. I realized my error immediately and grabbed this one. 

They're off on a grand adventure

They took separate cars as Stacia wanted to be able to come home as soon as possible. 

It quickly became apparent life has changed, and we are going to have to catch up with it. Michael had an appointment at 2:15. I had an appointment at 3:00 and we were both to meet at the church around 4 p.m. for another meeting. I thought it would all work as I thought the girls' last session began at began at 3 p.m. Arielle and the boys agreed to come to our rescue!

I found myself strangely "at odds and ends." Stacia turned 18 yesterday and her and Allie going to college orientation today put an exclamation mark on the fact homeschooling is over, and our babies are grown. I did what I do when transitions, like deployments, goodbyes, new pastors, moves and children moving, occur. I cleaned.... I dusted high and low, swept, dust mopped, put pork loin in the instant pot, folded Dad's laundry, started a load of our laundry, got Dad's breakfast, cleaned two other words...I'd done all I could do...and it was 10:00. LOL I sat down with some tea, a scone and cozy mystery. 

Time for a self-care break 

I began to feel a bit lonely. I may have begun humming a rousing verse of "All by Myself," when Millie went crazy. Krista dropped in unexpectedly. She sat down and had a scone and tea with me. PERFECT timing. 

This gal has IMPECCABLE timing.

Michael joined us for a bit of conversation and then Krista and I ran errands. We got home and Arielle and the boys dropped by. I am thankful I am not all by myself at all today. We visited for a bit before I had to leave.  

Danny, Benny & Charles

The turbo 2 year olds

"Had to leave?"  My 3 pm appointment was an emergency pedi. My nail had split and hurt, and I decided a pedi was a better option than a doctor. LOL Turns out it was in-grown too.... but this gal is a wonder worker. They had a cancellation while I was there and asked me if I knew someone who wanted a pedi. I called Krista. LOL I laughed as she fielded office calls during the pedi. 

Last time I had a pedi - in June - I asked them to cut them short. They told me they couldn't cut them too short or I'd get ingrown toenails. Today she told me if you leave them too long or cut them too short you can develop ingrown toenails. Now this is far over my pay grade to know where the perfect point is. Right? The only solution is a monthly pedi. LOL In any event the pain nearly always goes away after a pedi...we talked about taking Dad in.  I'm not sure he'll want to, but it seems like a good idea to me. 

All better

Michael and I met up at the church for our meeting and came home a bit after 6:30 p.m. I arrived home with a raging migraine. THAT FAST. I have no clue what set it off this time.  I had not had tyramine and wasn't near scents. I just don't know. I took a handful of pills, discussed the girls first day of orientation with them, and promptly fell asleep. The girls pulled together dinner and I don't remember the rest of the evening at all. That is not a simple catch phrase. I honestly do not remember what happened the rest of the night. 

This is the point where I should say something profound. I am still processing the new season. It has been more than our baby simply turning 18 or completing our homeschooling journey. We've also said goodbye to good friends and ministry partners, and said hello to new friends and ministry partners, change is in the air in so many ways. I am not alarmed. I am not anxious. I am curious. What will I do next?  How does God plan to fill my hours? Or is it time to simply have more glorious margin? 

I have been a "stay at home" mom through my 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s. I have homeschooled since I was 24. I'm 59. I still feel like I'm 30 or 40 - that's a post for another day. snort:: I COULD do a lot of things and I've discussed and thought about this upcoming season for quite a few years. I've watched so many friends hit this point - while I still had 7 or 8 to raise.  I feel like I've given it my all, left it all on the field, stayed engaged through the graduation of the last child... Now that it's here I do NOT want to go back to college. After all this time I'd have to start all over and by the time I got a masters and was "fully qualified" for my career I'd be 67 years old. ::gasp:: 

I see how much of what I planned to "school" to do - God has given me to do and I've been doing it for years. Few would deny I have had a teaching career. ::snort:: I've also had a full ministry. Ministry continues. Parenting continues. The parenting role has been shifting for quite some time. It grows and shifts with our children. I'm in more of a balcony cheering role at this point, than a hands-on dress, bathe and feed them role. There are wonderful perks to this season. Sure, I DO miss those days with a gloriously, chaotic crowd at home. However, I LOVE the adults these children have become...and when they bring the grandblessings around??? !!!!

Life is good. 

Very good, indeed. 

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