Friday, November 03, 2023

Thoughts, Prayer Requests & Thankful Thoughts

The defendant in Josiah's murder pled not guilty, was indicted by the grand jury and passed to the superior court. There will be an arraignment hearing Monday (6 Nov) at 1:45 pm at the Nesbit courthouse, Rm 601. We welcome any who would like to attend. Seating will be limited.

I'll have to do some research to see what all this means, forgive me if I get legal terms wrong.
#CourageousJoy #JusticeforJosiah
Photo: Remembering Central Region PWOC board 2007-2009. Sacred space where Josiah committed to love and cherish Carrie and Livie.

Prayer Requests:
1. I am not sure how to move on from here this morning. I started with a piece of toast, first breakfast since the 23rd.
2. Pray for justice.
3. Pray for grace and the salvation of all involved in this story. I must say I understand Jonah so much better, but YES, pray even for the salvation of the defendant.
Josiah gives Benny tips in salmon bonking

Thankful Thoughts
1. Friendships that have stood the test of time.
2. A "late" winter.
3. Izaak brought over a moose roast - it was yummy.

Wednesday, November 01, 2023

Josiah's Eulogy/Obituary

 *Jamin did an amazing job writing Josiah's Eulogy/Obituary. 

Josiah Goecker

Feb 9, 1989 - Oct 23, 2023

Josiah Michael Goecker of Eagle River, Alaska, gave his life to protect a colleague on Oct. 23, 2023. His selfless act of heroism surprised no one who knew him in his 34 years of life. He is survived by his pregnant wife, Carrie Goecker; daughter, Olivia; unborn daughter, Josi Faith; his mother and father; and nine siblings.

His family and friends adored him for his kindness, his wisdom and his ability to create community everywhere he lived. As a "military brat." he lived in many places, including Alaska while he was a teenager.

He applied his decisive leadership skills and business acumen to become a pivotal driver of several award-winning Chick-fil-As. Accolades rarely excited Josiah though; what he truly loved about his work was mentoring the teenagers who worked for him. The personal growth of his team members as people, in all areas of life, was something he treated as a serious responsibility. He never shied away from speaking truth with grace and bulldog-like persistence.

Despite his accomplishments, he dreamed of returning to the mountains and streams of Alaska. In 2017, he made the leap and returned to the Last Frontier. Josiah could barely contain his excitement on the Alaska Marine Highway, pointing out every bald eagle, the scenery that only changed inch by inch - but still needed attention - and the spectacular sunsets over the Inside Passage. He was like a child who had tasted cotton candy for the first time.

He quickly established himself as an avid fisherman, and these outings were a special time for him to catch up with his friends and family. He especially relished the family's annual dip netting trip on the Kenai River, taking most of the responsibility to coordinate the daunting logistical task of preparing and supervising 10-plus family members while dip netting.

He met his wife, Carrie, and they quickly bonded over their love of God, family and all the adventures that Alaska offers. Josiah proposed to Carrie at the Eagle River Nature Center's viewing deck in May 2021, and they married in August 2021. As a family man, Josiah was the ultimate girl dad. Friends and family recall him riding his bike with Olivia around the neighborhood and helping neighbors remove snow. He loved a good bonfire with s'mores and loved ones. He was absolutely overjoyed to discover they were expecting their second daughter in early 2024.

To his siblings, he was like a third parent; he was their loudest fan, the first they called when facing adversity and the life of family gatherings with his dry, self-deprecating humor. To his parents, he was a beloved son who honored them by seeking out work from his father's list of projects on their property, and enjoying a good conversation while working alongside his father.

He volunteered frequently at ACF Church in Eagle River by helping attendees find parking during the Alaska winter or extending a warm greeting at the door. He became teary-eyed during baptisms and was passionate about Hope to Alaska, an organization with the church that provides funding so individuals struggling with mental health and suicide can obtain help.

Josiah was loved by all who knew him for his steadiness, his kindness and his courage. All who mourn his passing take solace in knowing his legacy is one of love to family, friends and community. On Monday night, Oct. 23, 2023, Josiah undoubtedly gazed into the eyes of Jesus and heard the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant!"

A celebration of life will be held on Thursday, Nov. 2, 2023, at 5:30 p.m., at ACF Church, 16620 Brooks Loop, Eagle River, AK 99577.

Arrangements were made with Janssen's Eagle River Funeral Home.


Click Here for a Printable Version from the ADN. 

Prayer, Praise, Link to Josiah's Celebration of Life service

Prayer Requests:

1. Dad has a nasty cold. Which leads to hard logistics in the next couple of days...and its difficult to be a good caregiver when you want to crawl back into bed.
2. You can imagine how hard today and tomorrow will be for our family - pray for Jesus to carry us.

Here is the link to Josiah's Celebration of Life. All are invited to attend or view at 5:30 pm AK time (8:30 central).
In lieu of flowers please consider a donation to Hope to AK.
Tonight, I'm thankful for:
1. Friends who fly all the way up here and spend the day sitting with GG, folding laundry, sweeping the floors so we could go say our goodbyes to Josiah.
2. A caring funeral director.
3. Pizza dinner for a CROWD and a chance to hug John and Jacque.
4. Rose in Kansas sending a care package of tea....and local friend, Yadira showing up with groceries, snacks, milk, tea...things are already set out for people to snack tomorrow as they come in and out.
5. Michael's brother, Earl, and nephew, Jerome, arriving.
6. Jamin and Pastor Brian putting me down for 10 min in the Celebration of Life program - even though I said I needed 3-5min.
Note: photo below taken in front of our tent on an annual dipnetting trip. Josiah LOVED having the family all together and FISHING.

Tuesday, October 31, 2023

October Snippets

The chickens roaming free means we often have them looking in the window rather disapprovingly. This gal isn't impressed with me on the treadmill. 

 Allie has been working on a college project. She made a tabletop with the maps from her OT class....its cool. 

Thursday and Friday mornings at Sophia's, a local cafe. 

Stacia made these sugar shells and then filled them with a tea bag. Tea Bombs - what a fun idea. 

Michael rearranged our parking set up...I think this is going to work well. 

Edit - well this one is unexpected. I open a post early in the month and throw in photos that I don't use while blogging. This is the point where life changed drastically for our family. The above photos are before Josiah was killed. The following photos are some I haven't got around to blogging from those days immediately following his death. 

Saturday, October 28th, everyone was out doing and going...I suppose. I ended up going for a drive. I didn't have a specific destination in mind. I ended up at MAG's parking lot.  Within minutes the girls, Cory and Arielle and Breanne and Izaak pulled up. 


Five days after our worlds exploded. This is a moment I will remember. Everyone climbed into the van with me. We talked. We cried. We did a bit of laughing. I had so many questions as to what Josiah must have felt and how we were going to get through this. The kids were so helpful. This was in my very broken and angry phase. I wanted to find something to punch, and it was nice to know I wasn't the only one who wanted to break things. 

Oct 31st and Steve and Debbie have flown in. We headed to Walmart as Stacia and I wanted to find flannel for Josiah's Celebration of Life. I remember being so grateful Steve, Debbie and their boys were here...and so overwhelmed that soon we'd be saying "goodbye" to Josiah. Each day felt like living a year or so...


Stacia and I with swollen eyes, but smiles in place...that's how it was. 

At the house people from nearby and far away were sending groceries, cards, flowers and each one was a sweet reminder of dear friends and family...people who had touched our lives and people who had been touched by Josiah's life. Michael's sister, Kathy, sent some lovely chocolate strawberries. Danny is suitably impressed. 


Earl and Jerome, Julie, Don, Beth, Sarah and Cora, Steven, Robert and more all flew in sometime between here and the 1st of Nov.  These were surreal days. Days with those we love dearly nearby, laughter, heartache...we survived. I may find more photos...but I'll get this out of the draft box for now.  My heart is simply too full to do justice to those days. I'll carry the memories of the love and kindness and heartache with me always. 

We began to wade much deeper into grace...intimacy with a God who welcomes our honest emotions, even when others don't. 


Thursday, October 26, 2023

How Am I Doing?

 The suspect is in custody. We will go to the arraignment this afternoon to provide victim impact.

I shared this on Facebook this morning. I don't have time, or energy, to pretty it up. 

"How am I doing?"
We are raw, emotional, devastated and shattered. Our hearts are not breaking they ARE broken. We have always held ministry, people, in an open hand rather than a clenched fist, allowing God to move us and circumstances and people in and out of our lives. We have lived with "yes." Josiah's murder elicits a soul screaming NO. We know clenching our fists won't bring our beloved son back to us and his family, we will fight back to a place of yes. We know who our God is, we know He is faithful and still the platitudes grate. We are fairly real and authentic and this hurts. This isn't how it is supposed to be. And I believe Jesus weeps with us. I believe it is OK to lament and God sits with us in the lament until He gently leads us to solid ground again. We are not losing our faith, we are admitting this hurts terribly 3 days in. Life changed. Things I felt I knew have broken wide open and shifted to a deeper level. Yes, God is good, but He isn't a "safe" God..Ala CS Lewis. I believe God is comfortable sitting with our raw emotions, hurt, anger, confusion-grief. I know many of us are not as comfortable with others' raw emotions...some are. I trust God, AND I believe he invites us to grieve. As we take time to lament, He walks with us through it and heals deeply, as we grieve deeply. I want deep healing not surface platitude healing.
Some simply turn their back because they dont know what to say. We appreciate each of you. We will have grace with you when you say the right thing at the wrong time, please have grace with us if we snap or seem to be less than what you consider to be ideal in our response to grief. Yes, I know "This is the day the Lord has made," and I know I am to rejoice and be glad in it. I know the need to choose joy. It's just I believe my God is big enough to sit with me in the ashes as I wail and he is pleased I trust Him enough to be authentic with him.
I am NOT fine. Don't ask me how I am if you want a church face, a smile and a platitude. I can't manage the strength for that this day. If I admit to you how I truly am its because i trust you with my most tender broken pieces. I am sorry it is uncomfortable. I have been raised in ministry and served in ministry but just now i need to grieve hard without worrying about your response. And in some cases, please understand we stay away because we are concerned our grief is too much for you. If we snap it will hurt you. We will be OK. We KNOW deep down He carries us, He redeems, His mercies are new and perfect for every morning. His grace is so sufficient..even here. We are still in his care, even here. We have grown into a stubborn faith. We will eventually count it all joy, you know we will. We also know we heal best when we trust THAT authentic God enough to be honest with Him. I am truly sorry if our grief offends...3 days in and I want to grieve without worry about how it looks to others. If God can't be God here in the sad, angry, broken places he isn't the God I KNOW him to be.
That's how I am...I treasure a friend's response after texting to ask how I was last night. She offered anything i need coffee, conversation, silence. I told her I wanted to break things. She said she'd take me to the rage room and break things with me to my heart's content. She was real.
This morning I don't have the energy to break things. Kareen, a local friend sent this song. We cried, we laughed, we get it. It IS hard to say it is well with my soul when it hurts like hell. (Mike let me swear ::snort::). It doesn't mean I won't say it, it doesn't mean I don't trust a loving God...I just have to believe He knows and understands and just now, when the pain is so fresh, He welcomes me to sit in the ashes WITH him....because deep down I believe a loving Father God also grieves at the senseless pain in an evil, broken world. He knows I am human and sitting in the ashes will get me back to healing in the quickest way.
Praying for grace and strength for this day. Shew a novel...but that's how I am. ::snort::


Tuesday, October 24, 2023

Our Son - Josiah Michael Goecker

Sept 30, 2023

Josiah Michael Goecker

Feb 9, 1989 - Oct 23,2023

Our son was shot and killed by a tenant yesterday while protecting a co-worker. Our hearts are shattered. He was the ultimate big brother, always thinking of family, a great husband and absolutely loved being a daddy. His care of Mike and I was amazing, always making sure we got our limit of salmon, had winter wood etc. His heart was big, his gentle wisdom loved by many.

It feels surreal. We mourn and grieve but, "this I call to mind and therefore have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is His (your) faithfulness..." Lamentations 3:20-24.
Lord, we need your mercy, love and faithfulness most on this day when we are broken, sad and angry.
Please pray for Carrie, Livie and their unborn daughter, for the family, and for the young lady whose life Josiah saved.

Fallon, a friend from Carrie's work has started a Go Fund me for Carrie and the girls. Our prayer is the financial concern of this time can be alleviated. If you'd like to contribute you can do so here. This is the only go fund me I am aware of...you may also contact me for Venmo options. We thank you so much for helping us take care of Josiah's girls.

https://gofund.me/3f945790

Happier Days - July 2023

It's a girl! Join us in praying God's mercies and health on Josi Faith.

Monday, October 23, 2023

The Day When Life Unexpectedly Changed

A happier post....Monday started with Michael knocking out the elusive paperwork, Allie feeling sick and Stacia hitting the trailhead. She parked herself at the trailhead near us with hot chocolate, a sign and some cards that said, "I was broken" and a photo of shipwreck beach, Japan on one side...and the words "I am redeemed" on the other side. 

I am so proud of her!  What a fun idea. I finished on the treadmill and was motivated to walk to the trailhead and see her.  I won't fib, getting a cup of hot chocolate on a frosty cold walk was very nice. 

She talked to seven people...and I found it fun as I walked home when a regular gentlemen walker around here said good morning and told me there was a gal up the road with hot chocolate. Stacia told me he'd snuck off the trail to avoid her...but planting seeds of hospitality and love in the neighborhood. 

She came home and we discussed with Michael. 

Michael's phone rang. He listened a few seconds, handed me the phone and fell to the ground.

It was Carrie. "Josiah's been shot..." and one thinks SHEW Carrie and baby are fine. The next words one expects is he's in surgery, please come. 

But the next words changed our world...

"...and he's dead." 

10-23-23...a date I will remember as well as 2-9-89...which my kids will tease I am FOREVER mixing up their birthdates and asking, "WHAT year were you born?" 

We covet your prayers. 

It started out happier. I am not stopping until I make a happier post.